There and Back Again
by CynicalRomantic09
Summary: Slight AU. Tommy leaves in season 1 at the beginning of "Hey Sister," just like he said he was going to. Now, three years later, he's back. With both Tommy and Jude harboring secrets from their pasts, will they make it, or will they fall? T/J.
1. Prologue

Hello!

This is my newest story that I'm working on. I've got about 11 chapters typed out already and I'm actually going to finish this one. Lol.

This story takes places right at the beginning of "Hey Sister". Tommy tells Jude that he's leaving and won't be her producer any more, only in my version, he actually leaves. It's a pretty big roller coaster ride for Tommy and Jude. In fact, I'd venture to say that my readers will probably get rather frustrated in the beginning chapters.

But, rest assured, this is definitely a "Jommy". I can't do it any other way. Hehe.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this story! I've certainly had fun writing it, so please, let me know what you think! I love reading reviews! They seriously make my day.

* * *

**Prologue** (Three Years Ago)

"You're leaving?" she asked indignantly.

He looked back at her and shrugged as if it were no big deal. "I'm strictly free-lance here. I can go any time."

"But why now?"

They reached the set of stairs and leaned against the blue metal railings for a second while Tommy looked as though he were struggling to get whatever it was he needed to say out. He sighed. "I need a vacation. I thought I'd kick it around Montreal for a while."

"So you're just gonna bail on me? Tommy, we have a single to write and we have to do it fast."

"And you will. Just not with me. You've got a new producer, starting next week."

And that was that. She had even tried to get him to agree to write one last song with her to see how it went and he refused.

The week was winding down and his leave date was drawing agonizingly nearer. No matter what she did or said, it wouldn't work. He was really leaving.

Georgia had decided to throw Tommy a going-away party of sorts and the staff was required to be there. Well, just because she had to be in the building didn't mean she had to be where the party was.

So she holed herself up in Studio C to start working on lyrics. She had successfully managed to only see Tommy once so far and she was hoping it would stay that way.

* * *

"Has anybody seen Jude? I've only seen her once the entire night," Tommy asked casually.

EJ nodded her head as she took a sip of her drink. "Studio C."

His eyes narrowed. She only ever went in there when she was deliberately trying to avoid people. He sighed and nodded a brief thanks to EJ and started to make his way to Studio C.

The oddest feeling came over him, though, as he stood in front of the door. His hand was raised and ready to knock but, for some reason, he couldn't do it. Maybe it would be better this way. Maybe he should just leave without saying goodbye. Clearly she didn't want to see him, anyway.

He un-fisted his hand and let his fingers trail down the length of the door. The feeling of the cold wood came in contact with his forehead as he rested it against the door. He sighed, shook his head, and walked away.

It was better this way. No fights, no long-drawn out goodbyes, no last minute attempts at trying to persuade him to stay.

He turned back towards the door and closed his eyes tightly. "Goodbye, Jude."


	2. Chapter 1

Thanks so much!

I appreciate the feedback for the story!

I just wanted to let you all know in advanced, that the beginning chapters, that there's not much "Jommy" involved. It sort of just introduces their lives without the other in it.

The first few chapters aren't really that long, but they do start to get a little longer.

So anyway, here's chapter 1 and I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star, nor do I own Riptide.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

_Present Day_

"We're gonna re-do the bridge, Jude. That take was weak." Johnny released the speaker button that allowed him to talk to her through the glass.

She simply nodded and waited for her cue to start it up again.

_And my foot slips  
__But I don't quit  
__And my hand grips the rock  
__Something pulls deep  
__From within me  
__'Til I get there, I won't stop…_

He gave her a thumbs-up sign and she sighed in relief. Johnny had been her producer now for the past three years and she had grown to expect this sort of obsessive-compulsive behavior from him.

He was a brilliant producer and she really enjoyed working with him. And he wasn't seductively appealing at all to Jude. Sure, other women found him to be rather delicious-looking, what, with his messy blonde hair and hazel eyes, but she only thought of him as a brother. There was no physical attraction between the pair of them and that made their jobs so much more pleasant.

"Okay. I think we're all done here. You can go home, Jude."

"Finally!" she mumbled and hurriedly jumped down from the stool.

When she got on the other side of the glass, Johnny chuckled. "Love you too, Jude."

"Oh shut up. You know that has nothing to do with it. We've been in this damn studio since ten this morning and it's already nine o'clock and I'm beyond ready to go home."

"Yeah right. You're going over to your boyfriend's house."

Jude grinned, "Like I said. I'm beyond ready to go home."

"That was probably the cheesiest line I've ever heard come out of your mouth Harrison."

She fought hard to keep her face from falling when he called her by her last name. It didn't matter how often he called her that, but she just couldn't seem to get past the twinge that constricted her heart every time she heard it.

Nostalgia. That's all it was. That's all it had to be. She only worked with the guy for like three weeks. It was pathetic enough as it was that she allowed herself to tense up at a stupid thing like that. And oddly enough, it only ever happened when Johnny called her 'Harrison'. It didn't matter if anybody else called her that—that was fine. But she couldn't understand why it was it just happened with Johnny. Maybe it was because he held the producer title. She was beginning to wonder if she would ever figure it out.

It had been three years since she last saw Tommy Quincy in person. The entire country got to see him everyday on the cover of the tabloids that he never managed to escape from. If anything, his appearance in them had only skyrocketed since he landed his solo career around two and a half years ago. He was still the bad-boy, but he had the cheesy boy-band factor taken away, which apparently made him that much more appealing.

From the stories she heard though, he was a cold-hearted bastard, a liar, a drunk, and a notorious playboy. Relationships never lasted for more than a few weeks and he would quickly move on to the next city, the next girl.

She was so happy she had avoided Hurricane Quincy. She wanted nothing to do with him now and could only hope that he stayed away from Toronto for good.

She shook her head and was so thankful she had Johnny. He always looked after her. When Shay humiliated her on national television, Johnny made that boy's life a living hell. He really was like the big brother she never had.

She genuinely grinned at him and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, Summers. I'm off to go meet my boyfriend."

"Actually, could you wait up a second? I kind of need to ask you your advice on something."

That couldn't be good. The "I'm about to drop a bomb-shell on you" tone was being used and she wished she could just high-tail it and run out the door before he could even blink. But she couldn't do that to him. He had always been there for her to give her advice, so now it was her turn to finally return the favor.

She cleared her throat, "Yeah. Sure. What's up?"

"Have a seat," he said as he motioned to the big leather chair sitting opposite him.

"Oh God, Johnny. What the hell is it?" she asked after she let herself fall into place on the chair.

"It's nothing bad. Not really. Well, it depends on how you look at it—"

"Johnny! You're doing it again."

The color on his face turned three different shades of red and it amused Jude to no end. When Johnny got nervous, he always rambled on and on like somebody who was hyped up on too much caffeine.

"Sorry. I'm just nervous, I guess."

"Really? I never would have guessed," she quipped sarcastically.

"Ha ha," he looked down at the floor and rubbed his hands together as he prepared himself for what he was about to say. She knew his idiosyncrasies all too well and vice versa. "Okay," he sighed. "I got a job offer, Jude."

Her heart sank. She tried to be happy for him, she really did. But him getting a new job offer meant leaving _her_. She plastered on a fake smile for him. "That's great, Johnny. Where is it?"

"California."

And her heart sank all the way to the bottom of the ocean, kind of like that sapphire necklace that Rose had in _Titanic._ She could feel the force of the water pulling it down, metaphorically speaking, of course. Obviously she couldn't _actually_ feel it—God, now she was rambling in her own head. This was really sad.

"Wow. That's… that's…"

"Far away," he said with a defeatist tone.

She sighed. "Yeah." She paused and looked down at the ground. "So, when do you leave?"

Johnny's head snapped up and his eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about?"

"Johnny, I know you're a little slow at some things, but this isn't rocket science. When you take that job, you're going to have to, you know, _leave_," she remarked with a grin.

"I knew what you meant. But I'm not going anywhere yet, Jude. I haven't even decided whether or not I'm going to accept it."

Now _her_ eyes narrowed. "Come again?"

"That's the whole reason I'm talking to you right now. You and I—we're a team. I'm not going to bail on you without talking to you first."

A small smile formed on her lips as her heart swelled. She leaned in and hugged him tightly. "Thank you. I appreciate that."

"Hey," he said as he pulled back. He tilted her chin up to force her to look at him. "I'm never going to just walk out on you. We've got a good thing going and I'm happy here. I don't want you to think that if I take the job—"

"I would never think that, J. I promise." She leaned back in the chair and crossed her arms with a smile on her face. "So who offered?"

"Riptide."

"Seriously? Riptide? That's amazing, Johnny!" Pride overwhelmed her and she couldn't believe that he had this amazing opportunity. "You've been wanting to work there since I can remember!"

When Johnny merely nodded unenthusiastically, confusion marred Jude's features. "What's up? Why aren't you more excited about this?"

He looked away from her and stared at the door. "Why are _you_ so excited? Why are you more excited than me?"

"Hey. What's going on in that head of yours, mister?"

"Jude. You don't get it! Going there means leaving _here_!" He ran a hand through his hair and angrily got out of his chair.

And it all started to make a little more sense to her. They were both in the same position. The two of them had been teamed up together for so long now that it was hard to imagine working with anybody else. Reality was starting to settle in the pit of her stomach. While she was happy for her co-worker, partner, and friend, the idea of losing him didn't sit well with her.

"I've wanted this for so long."

"I know," she whispered.

"And now that it's actually here, staring me in the face… I don't know if I can do it."

The chair pushed backwards after she hastily got out of her seat. The gap between them soon closed and she spun him around so he would look at her. "You _can_. This is an incredible opportunity, J. You need to take it."

"I don't know, Jude."

"What's to know?! It's Riptide! The label that you've been pining after for years!"

"But I'm good _here_. I like it here—"

"No Johnny. You're not 'good' here. You're great here. What's this really about?"

She knew her mentor well enough to know when she was only getting half-truths. While she was flattered that he said he was debating the job offer because of her, she also knew that she wasn't getting the whole story. "Johnny."

"I've already told you what it's about! I'm good working with you. I enjoy it. Why mess with a winning team?"

"J, it means a lot to me that you feel that way, and I agree. We are a winning team."

He fisted his hands and shoved them into his pockets. "But? I have a feeling there's a 'but' coming."

Jude smirked, "However—"

"Oh, you little smart-ass!"

"However," she went on and ignored his comment, "you need to do this. Let's talk about why you're really not wanting to go."

"Oh, so now I've got my own personal shrink, huh?"

"Yup. And I'm going to give you my analysis for free," she grinned.

"Lucky me! Anyway, do continue. I'm very interested in this."

"You're scared," she said bluntly.

He blinked a few times, surprised by her accusation. "I beg your pardon?"

"J, you've always been the best around here. Always. You're a winner here and everybody knows it. But Riptide is quite a bit bigger than G-Major. You're worried that you're going to fail, aren't you?" When he remained silent, Jude took that as her answer. "Johnny, you can't let that hold you back. You might fail, but you also might be the best. You'll never know unless you try."

Johnny laughed. "Hey. I'm supposed to be the older one, here."

"_Supposed_ to, being the key phrase there." She sighed and wrapped her arms around him once more. "You'll do great."

"So, you really want me to go?"

Of course she didn't, but she couldn't let him know that. "Yes. In fact, I'm making you go."

He let out another hearty laugh. "Oh really?"

"Yup."

"And how's that?"

"Simple. If you don't go, I won't work with you anymore."

He pulled her back and stared at her face, which, she guessed, was to see if she was bluffing. She wasn't. It was a clever tactic on her part to make sure he left and accepted the job. She wasn't about to be a reason to hold him back.

"You're serious." She nodded and sat back down in the leather chair. "Wow. Well, I guess I don't really have a choice then, do I?"

"None whatsoever."

He smiled, knelt down in font of her, and leaned his forehead against hers. "Thanks JJ. You have no idea how much this means to me."

"I think I have a small idea." His face grew thoughtful and she raised an eyebrow. One could only guess what was going on his mind. "Oh no. What are you thinking about now?"

"It's nothing bad, I promise."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. In fact, I think it's pretty damn brilliant, if I do say so myself."

"Oh goody. I can't _wait_ to hear this one."

He reached for her hands, enveloping them in his much larger ones. He rubbed his thumb over the front of her hand and looked her straight in the eyes. She was getting slightly freaked. "Come with me. Come to LA with me."


	3. Chapter 2

Hey!

I know it's fast, but the chapters are already finished and so I decided against dragging out the chapters. At least the very beginning ones, anyway.

Chapter 2, there's still no "Jommy", but in chapter 3, they will be reunited... sort of. Lol.

Again, I'm afraid Chapter 2's not that long. My apologies...

Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

"Please step out of the car, sir."

"Great," he mumbled. This was just what he needed. As if things didn't suck bad enough already.

The officer held the flashlight towards the interior of the car and motioned for him to step out of the vehicle.

"I'm going to need your license, registration—"

"And proof of insurance. I got it," he mumbled.

"Do you know how fast you were driving?"

"Uh… not really, no."

"Does the fact that I was pushing 130 in an 80 zone tell you anything?"

Yeah, that was bad. Great.

Heaving a sigh, he nodded his head. "Sorry officer, it won't happen again."

The officer rolled his eyes and motioned for him to step out of the car again. "I still need your license."

After nodding, he reached into the compartment that held his registration and insurance, then reached into his back pocket for his wallet, only to find that it was missing.

No. This was not happening.

"Uh… yeah, about that. Give me one second."

The glove compartment opened with a quick press of the button, only to reveal the owner's manual and few other miscellaneous items. It wasn't looking good.

He looked at the officer and crinkled his nose. "About the license. It appears as though my wallet has been stolen."

"Well this isn't looking good for you, is it?" Once again, he made an impatient motion for him to get out of the vehicle.

Gritting his teeth, he stepped outside and had a feeling he knew what was coming. "Can you please walk in a straight line, sir?"

Oh, this was going to be interesting… he was drunk as shit. There was no way he was passing this test.

Great.

* * *

One by one, three tabloids appeared on the desk in front of him, each containing his face on the cover.

"Indecent exposure, public drunkenness, driving under the influence. Do you realize how much PR we waste on your sorry ass?"

"D, could we not? My head's killing me right now."

"Well maybe you should have thought about that before you got plastered! Jesus, Tom, do you have any idea how much you're dragging this label's name through the mud?"

Tommy slouched further down in the chair with a frown on his face. He wasn't in the mood for this—especially not after spending the night in jail.

"Yeah and I'm sorry about that," which was the truth. He honestly didn't know why he did the things he did.

"Yeah I've heard that one before." Darius sighed and sat down in his chair. "I'm at the end of my rope with you, Tommy. Jesus, I just had to pull strings to get a suspended license revoked! Thank God that was kept under wraps. I could only imagine the field day the press would have with that one." He paused and tiredly ran his hand over his eyes. "Heads have to roll after this."

That snapped him wide-awake. He sat up in his chair and felt his eyes growing wide. "What?! What are you talking about?"

"I'm suspending work on your album until further notice."

"What! You can't do that!"

"Actually, I can and I am. That being said, rest assured that I'm not letting your talents go unused."

Tommy groaned. He could only imagine what plans Darius had in store for him now.

"I want to put you back into the producing business. I think it'll do you a lot of good."

"Darius, I don't want to have anything to do with producing. You know that," he said icily. He hadn't produced any other artist besides himself for nearly two years now.

Darius sighed again and gave Tommy a sympathetic look. "I do know that. But my hands are tied. I'm not allowing you to continue production on your album after this fiasco, Tom. And you're good at producing."

Tommy looked away and clenched his jaw. "I won't do it."

"You don't have a choice. You're still under contract with this label and if you quit, you won't be able to find another job in this business. I'll see to that."

"D—"

"It's time you dealt with it Tom. It's almost been two years. Something needs to happen with you because there's only so much I can do for you."

"But Darius, why producing?"

"It's not negotiable. Look, this isn't a suggestion. If you don't do this, you'll find yourself in the unemployment line faster than you can blink. Am I clear?"

"Crystal." Tommy ran a hand through his hair and tried to curb his anger. He should be thankful that Darius didn't just toss him out on his ass. Most people would have. "So what exactly is the deal here?"

"I'm sending you out of Montreal. Do you remember the first winner of our _Instant Star_ competition back in Toronto?"

Tommy froze. This was the last thing he needed. He already knew what was coming and there wasn't a damn thing he could do to stop it. Trying to regain his composure after that blast from the past, he cleared his throat and nodded his head. "Yeah," he said meekly.

"I listened to some of the tracks that you worked on with her. You did excellent work with her and she's going to need another producer in about a week."

"Why's that?"

"Her current producer, Johnny Summers, got offered a job at Riptide in California. Georgia's contacted me and asked if I had any available producers at the branch here and I told her I'd see what I can do."

"And let me guess. You want me to produce her again?"

"That's exactly what I want. I've already talked to Georgia about it and she thinks it's an excellent idea."

Tommy rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath. "Of course she does." He was going to kill Georgia for encouraging Darius on this. Some friend she was.

"There's not a problem is there?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, all those rumors way-back-when, I was convinced they were just that. Rumors. But now, based on your reaction—"

"There's nothing to worry about. That's all they were. It was just rumors, like you said. There's no problem Darius." At least as far as everybody else was concerned they were just rumors. But if he hadn't left when he did, it very well could have turned into more than just a rumor. And he knew it. But that wasn't going to be an issue now. He wouldn't let it become one.

Darius studied him for a moment and then nodded. "Good. I've got airline tickets on stand-by for you. Because you lost your license yesterday when your wallet was stolen, a new one is being made for you. You can pick it up on the way to the airport. Your flight leaves tomorrow morning."

"Tomorrow?!"

He nodded. "Pack what you need to get you through a week or so. We'll have your stuff delivered to you by professional movers. Also, I've canceled all of your credit cards and had new ones issued. Those will be mailed to you as soon as possible." He began rummaging through paper work on his desk and Tommy was fairly certain the meeting was adjourned. "Now get out of my office. I have work that needs to get done."

As Tommy was leaving the office, Darius stopped once more. "Tom?" Tommy paused and looked over his shoulder. "This is your last chance. Don't screw it up."

He gave a curt nod and left the office.

Immediately upon exiting the office, his current fling greeted him. One good thing that was coming out of this was that it was an easy excuse to get rid of this bimbo. The dumb brunette actually thought she had a chance with him. He knew she was probably going to get blubbery on him when she found out he was ditching her, but he couldn't bring himself to care. It wasn't his problem. She had an anxious expression on her face. "So how'd it go in there?"

Tommy shrugged. "Not bad. He didn't fire me," he said with a cynical chuckle.

Relief showed all over her face. "Thank goodness! So what happened?"

"I'm back to producing again," he replied as he tried to keep the bitterness out of his tone. He really didn't feel like explaining why it was a bad thing.

"That's… weird. When you were a producer?"

Tommy rolled his eyes. Crisis averted. This chick didn't know _anything_ about him. Not that he minded—not at all. It made things easier on him.

"What does it matter? The point is, is that I'm back to producing and if I screw it up, I'm out of a job. End of story."

"Oh. Do you know who your artist is?"

"Yeah. Jude Harrison," he said without enthusiasm. It was the icing on the cake of another fabulous year. He couldn't believe how shitty his luck was. Of all the artists in the country that he could produce, it _had_ to be her.

Her eyes widened. "_The_ Jude Harrison? As in the first winner of _Instant Star_?

Tommy's jaw tightened as his muscles tensed. "Yes."

Confusion quickly became etched on the brunette's delicate features. "But wait a second—isn't she from Toronto?"

"Give the lady a prize!"

"Funny, Tom. How are you going to produce her from here?" she asked stupidly.

It was all Tommy could do to not laugh at this girl. He didn't realize anybody could be this stupid, and he had met his fair share of witless women. "I won't be. I'm moving to Toronto."

"What? Why?"

Tommy sighed in frustration. "Did you just miss this entire conversation Haley?"

"Holly."

"Whatever. I'm going to Toronto so I can save my job."

"Well what about us?" she asked with wide eyes.

Tommy kept his face cool, not that it was a hard task. He felt nothing for this girl. She was just a body to him. "What about us?"

Anger appeared on the girl's face. Apparently she wasn't as stupid as he first thought. She seemed to catch on to the fact that he was breaking things off pretty quickly. Quicker than most, actually. "You're an ass."

He laughed. "You're not the first one to tell me that, babe. I'm pretty sure you also won't be the last. So do yourself a favor. Get over it."

He turned and walked away. He had some packing to do.

* * *

"We'll now begin boarding all first class passengers for Flight 3159 to Toronto."

Tommy grabbed his carry-on bag and swiftly made his way towards the line after he made sure he had his ticket and I.D. ready. He handed the woman his ticket and then went on his way to the plane.

The process was so monotonous to him now that he was happy to be boarding a short flight today. He would have been fine with just driving, but Darius insisted on flying him out. He assured him that his Viper was in good hands and would be delivered to him along with the rest of his things. He still didn't see what the point of an hour flight was. It was utterly ridiculous the way he saw it. But, then again, he really wasn't in much of a position to be arguing with the man, so he gritted his teeth and bore it.

After getting situated, he grabbed his iPod and put the plugs in his ears and was ready to try and get a short catnap in. It was pointless to even try, but he didn't have anything better to do.

He had taken the liberty of downloading all of Jude's songs into his iPod and got the playlist ready to go. If anything, it would be good music to fall asleep to. He had heard some of the songs before this and they were so bland and boring. They had no heart. It was as though she was just singing the words and was determined not to put any emotion behind the song. Which was weird—he remembered her being quite the opposite when he had worked with her. He honestly had no idea how she had managed to gain as much success as she had.

The rest of the passengers were now boarded and things were starting to wind down. This was the crappiest part of the flight. It was so long and drawn out.

Once everybody was settled, the plane backed away from the dock and began traveling down the runways. The flight attendants were instructing everybody on the safety procedures and told the travelers to turn off all electronic devices. Tommy knew the whole speech by heart already, so he didn't pay much attention.

Their demonstration was now over and they took their seats, waiting for the take-off to be completed. He rested his head against the window and leaned back, shutting his eyes for a moment.

The next thing he knew, one of the flight attendants was trying to nudge him to wake him up. He didn't even remember falling asleep. "Welcome to Toronto, sir. Enjoy your stay."

He nodded a brief thanks and quickly left the plane and felt rather embarrassed after he noted that all of the passengers had already left.

He was fully prepared to grab a cab, but was surprised when Kwest greeted him with a grin on his face. "Welcome back, Tommy."

Tommy mirrored Kwest's grin and gave him the standard 'guy' hug. "Ah, it's good to see you, man. What are you doing here?"

"A little birdie told me you'd be in."

"And the little birdie also happened to mention the exact flight time. That's one smart birdie."

"Still a smart-ass."

Tommy nodded. "Yeah, I don't expect that will change any time soon."

Kwest merely grinned, once again. "So where's your stuff?"

"Baggage claim."

After they grabbed his bags, they exited the airport and made their way to Kwest's car. To say he was shocked to see a familiar blonde already there was an understatement. "Sadie?"

Kwest looked sheepish. "Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you—she's my girlfriend."

Tommy's nose crinkled. "Power to ya, man."

"I have ears, thanks," Sadie replied indignantly.

Kwest chuckled as he placed the bags in the trunk and made his way to the driver's seat. Tommy felt rather nervous by the look on Sadie's face. "What's your damage? You barely know me and you're looking at me like you want to kill me." Which shocked him. The last time he saw Sadie, she practically threw herself at him. Not that much throwing had needed to be done. She was hot and he was a guy with a working pair of eyes.

"Let's get one thing straight, Quincy. My sister's been through enough the past three years and she doesn't need any added stress. If you so much as even _think_ about hurting her in any way, you'll have to deal with me. And believe me—you _don't_ want that." She moved to get into the car and then turned back around. "Oh yeah. Welcome back."

Tommy released a breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. Home, sweet home. Jesus, what had he gotten himself into?


	4. Chapter 3

Yep!

Another update already.

I'm trying to get you guys caught up to the amount of chapters that I've already got... so this will be posted today and expect chapter 4 to be up sometime tomorrow.

I just ask you to bear with the lack of Jomminess the beginning chapters bring. I'm already working through it, so just hang in there and you'll all be rewarded! :)

Once again, this chapter's not very long. For the most part, the beginning chapters average to about 6-8 pages in Word, and then they'll get longer after about chapter 8ish, I believe.

Thanks for the reviews! Keep them coming! I love hearing what readers have to say! The comments mean a lot, so please... click that button and review! :) You all rock!

* * *

**Chapter 3**

"Are you sure you still want me to go, Jude? I can always call and tell them thanks, but no thanks."

The offer was sounding more and more tempting every time he mentioned it. She had turned down his proposal to go to LA with him, but she had begun to regret her decision the moment she found out that Georgia had signed Tommy on as her new producer.

She knew that they clicked well when it came to music, but she wasn't thrilled with all that she had been hearing about him; she didn't really want to deal with his famously awful personality or his playboy, hedonistic lifestyle. But, she could handle him. She had to.

Jude groaned. "Johnny, I'll be fine. I've worked with him before."

"I know, but I feel bad. The guy's a dick!"

"Tell me something I don't know," she mumbled.

He twirled around in the big chair and rested his hands behind his head. "If I find out he's giving you any problems, you can bet your bottom dollar that my ass will be on a plane back here quicker than you can say… Humperdink."

Jude raised an eyebrow. "Humperdink?"

"You know? The dude from that movie, what's it called? It's got Andre the Giant in it?" Jude knew exactly what movie he was talking about, but decided to forgo mentioning that fact, and watched amusedly as he tried desperately to think of the name. "Shit. I'll think of it."

"Uh-huh."

"Any-way. I'm serious. If I hear that he's giving you any trouble at all, I'll be back with a vengeance." He smirked, "Do you remember how bad I made Shay's life after the whole fiasco at your sixteenth?"

Jude grinned. "How could I forget? You almost made going through that horrible break-up worth every second."

"Oh, those were the days. That little punk was nothing without T-Bone around. He cowered like a baby," he said fondly. "He practically peed his pants," he reminisced as he laughed appreciatively at the memory.

"Well, I somehow doubt that you'd have the same affect on Tom Quincy. From what I remember about him, he doesn't back down—or cower—that easily." She let out a small snort as she remembered how often he'd get in Jamie's face. "In fact, he was usually the one causing the cowering."

He snapped his fingers. "See! I told you I would think of it."

She blinked. "Random much? What are you talking about?"

"The movie! It was _The Princess Bride_!"

Jude grinned. "I know."

Johnny's eyes widened and a scowl graced his features. "You mean you knew the name of the movie this entire time and let me drive myself nuts trying to think of the name?!"

"Pretty much."

"You're evil."

"I know, but you love me for it. And by the way, nice avoidance tactic, Johnny."

He raised an eyebrow and was failing at trying to hold back a grin. "What are you talking about?"

"As soon as I said you wouldn't have the same affect on Tom as you did on Shay, you changed the subject loser."

"I did no such thing," he declared adamantly.

"Oh but you did! Your poor ego couldn't take it, huh?"

"You wound me, Jude."

Jude laughed, "You big baby."

Johnny immediately made a face, which made her laugh even harder. He really was the world's biggest baby. His ego was easily bruised and she loved to use that weakness against him. But the nice thing was that she knew when to quit. And now _wasn't _one of those times.

"I'm not a baby, _JuJu._"

She doubled over with laughter as he called her by the nickname she despised. He was only further proving her point that he was, in fact, a baby. She was so lost in her own amusement that she failed to notice him advancing towards her. As soon as she realized what was happening though, she put her hands up in a surrendering motion, as if to shield herself from him. "Johnny…" she said with a warning tone in her voice.

He continued walking towards her with a sly grin on his face and before she knew what was happening, she had backed herself into a wall. Literally.

"Nowhere to run now, Harrison."

Her eyes darted around the room and as she attempted to get by him, he snaked his arms around her waist and proceeded to pick her up, bridal style. As he picked her up, she let out a squeal of surprise.

She grinned mischievously and wrapped her arms around his neck and playfully batted her eyelashes. "Why Mr. Summers, I had no idea you felt this way about me." She leaned in and whispered into his ear in a jokingly seductive manner. "You should have told me sooner."

His face blanched and he immediately dropped her onto the black leather couch. "How romantic, Johnny."

He rolled his eyes and simply leaned forward and began tickling her mercilessly. "Stop it!" she screamed through her uncontrollable laughter. She saw him inching towards her feet and kicked him in the stomach.

"Ow! That hurt!"

"Duh. That was the point! You know I don't like it when you tickle my feet."

She was just starting to catch her breath when an un-amused voice filled the room, cutting through the playful atmosphere. "So _this_ is what I have to work with now?"

She swallowed nervously and turned around only to be greeted by quite possibly one of the most gorgeous men on the planet. He wore dark, faded jeans, a white t-shirt with some logo that she didn't recognize, and his black leather jacket he was always sporting. Christ, she felt like she was meeting him again for the first the time. He was damn intimidating and she hated him for it.

He kept a cool exterior and his gaze was so intense that she had to look away.

"No wonder your songs are mediocre at best."

Jude's eyes narrowed. Now, she was mad and no longer feeling intimidated. He just made one of the biggest mistakes he could have made with her.

* * *

He was going to kill Darius.

He sent him to Toronto to work with _this_?

Tommy wasn't even supposed to have come into the studio today, but he wanted to see what type of routine she worked with Summers. He was hoping to get a handle on what he had to work with and he couldn't have been more shocked at the sight that greeted him.

He had managed to see her producer tickling her while they were supposed to have been working. Great.

So not only were her songs whiny as shit, but she also had poor work ethics. Tommy may have been a lot of things, but he at least had discipline when it came to work. It didn't matter if he had the world's worst hangover and he had an eight or nine AM studio session. He'd be there—on time with a bottle of aspirin in hand. Then he would work straight through the day.

As he tried to keep his disgust at bay, he noticed that Jude looked indignant beyond belief. She began walking towards him with an angry scowl on her face.

"Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Your new producer. Look, let's get one thing straight, girl. I was forced into this situation and had no say whatsoever and I _don't_ want to be here. I remember all the drama from last time and quite frankly, I don't want to deal with it. But, I'm here. And while I'm here, you're not going to waste my time. Are we clear?"

"Believe me, that won't be a problem," she said with a sneer.

His eyes narrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean I wouldn't _dream_ of wasting your time because the more time I waste, the longer I have to stay with you. So really, if you think about it, it's a lose-lose. So trust me, you don't have to worry about your precious time being wasted." She turned around and mumbled under her breath, "Though from the stories I hear, I might have to worry about _you_ being wasted."

Anger coursed through him. Who the hell was she to judge him? "What was that?"

"Oh nothing. Nothing at all."

Tommy bit his tongue and decided not to start an argument with her. He just said himself that he didn't want the drama and he wasn't about to start any himself.

"So is this what you two do all day? Sit around with your hands all over each other?" he asked sarcastically, then mentally chided himself for saying something so provoking. He had just resorted himself to not starting any drama and what does he do? And what the hell did he say that last bit for? He didn't give a damn what they did. Just as long as she didn't expect the same type of behavior from him, then whatever those two did was their business.

Summers finally spoke and instead of looking angry, as Tommy would have expected him to, the guy merely looked amused. "I assure that we're productive. You just happened to catch us on a break. Jude here—"

"Why the hell are you explaining our normal work routine to him? The guy just came in here and insulted _our_ music and then has the audacity to accuse us of having more than a professional relationship."

"Now hang on a second—I didn't do anything of the sort."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah."

"So then what was that, 'so is this what you two do all day?' shit? Just your poor sense of humor?"

He had no idea why, but he actually felt… guilty. For the first time in a long time, somebody managed to make him feel bad for what he'd said. And he hated that some girl that he left behind years ago had the ability to make him feel that way. Hell, he'd said a lot worse things to other people and hadn't even felt a twinge of guilt about it. So, why with her did it seem to matter?

He shrugged his shoulders, shaking off the guilt that had settled in him. Damn it to hell. He wasn't about to let some emo wannabe teenager make him second-guess himself.

"That was just me calling it like I see it. If you can't handle it, tough. You better get used to it."

She smirked at him and crossed her arms. "Or I could just ask Georgia for a new producer," she said smugly.

He knew his eyes were darkening at her words. She couldn't ask for a new producer—this was his last shot. If he screwed it up, he was finished. Not that he could let her know that she essentially had the power to end his career for good. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. He had to let her know that he was in control, not her. Even if it wasn't true, he had to make sure she _thought _it was.

"Yeah. Sure. You go ask Georgia for a new producer. You're lucky she found one on such short notice and that your album isn't being put on hold. But, by all means. If you want a new producer, go ask and see if you can get lucky twice," he replied cockily. It wasn't easy to switch producers—at least not if you wanted a good one. Jude remained silent with a pissed off glare in her eyes. He knew he had won. For now. "Be here at nine o'clock tomorrow."

He turned to walk away when he heard Jude laugh. "You're not my producer yet, Quincy. I don't take orders from you."

He gritted his teeth and was determined not to let her attitude get to him. He was getting quickly frustrated with her and knew that if he didn't walk away now, things would only get worse. They both had tempers and a stubborn streak that amazed even him. How they had managed before to get through sessions without killing one another was beyond him.

"Nine o'clock, Jude," he said with finality. He wasn't going to let anybody try and back him into a corner—especially not Jude Harrison.

The door slammed shut behind him and he smirked as he heard Jude let out a frustrated scream.

He spotted Kwest in hospitality and made his way over to greet him. Kwest looked up with an amused expression on his face. "What's with you?"

"Oh nothing. Just getting under the kiddies' skin back there."

Kwest let out a whistle. "Bad idea."

"Why's that?"

"You _don't_ want to be on Jude's bad side. She can make your life hell. Trust me." He looked lost in thought as he grimaced and shook his head. "I would know."

"I'm not too worried about it," he remarked with an amused chuckle. "I think I can handle her just fine."

"Whatever you say, man. Oh, by the way. What are you doing tonight?"

"Oh you mean besides sitting in my barely furnished apartment and becoming best friends with the couch?"

"Yeah, besides that."

"Then nothing. Why, what'd you have in mind?"

"Sadie and I were going to hit some clubs with a couple of friends tonight. What do you say? I bet you're just itching to bust a move back from your parachute days."

Tommy groaned. "Ha. I'm laughing. On the inside."

"So you comin' or what?"

He probably shouldn't. Not when he was going to be here at nine o'clock tomorrow. Wouldn't that just be starting things out great if he came in with a hangover?

"Come on, man. I haven't seen you all that much for the last two years—"

"Oh don't guilt trip me. I'm coming." He just wouldn't drink. A lot, anyway.

"Great. I'll tell Sadie."

Tommy made a face and rolled his eyes. "I'm sure she'll be just thrilled. Especially after the greeting she gave me earlier today."

Kwest's gaze softened to almost sympathetic. "Look, she's just watching out for her sister. Jude's been through a lot and she's just taking her big sister duties seriously."

Okay, that was the second time he'd heard that Jude had been through a lot. He'd only been away for three years. Surely it couldn't be as bad as they were both making it sound. Could it?

"A little too seriously if you ask me. What the hell am I going to do? It's not like I'm planning on striking up a friendship with the chick. She's my artist. Plain and simple."

"If you say so."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He felt like he was asking that question a lot lately. It was getting rather irritating, actually.

"All I'm saying is that I remember one of the reasons why you left. You'd do well to remember it, too."

Kwest grabbed his sandwich and left Tommy standing alone in hospitality. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair and instead of feeling somewhat calmed by the action, he only felt himself growing more and more frustrated. He felt like punching something, so he did just that. He slammed his fist down on the counter and let out a curse when pain filtered through his hand.

He was not going to get suckered into this game again. Not after what happened to him the last time he let himself get caught up.

No. He wasn't going there with this girl. Their relationship was going to be strictly professional. If he had to, he'd be the biggest prick he knew how to be outside the studio. Christ, he'd only been here for an hour tops and already he felt the drama starting to slowly enter into his life.

He hated Toronto.


	5. Chapter 4

As promised, here's chapter 4!

I hope you guys like this story, so please comment and let me know what you all think of it.

Thanks to everybody's who's reading and commenting!

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star... if I did, 413 would _not_ have gone down as it did. Major fail. Ew.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

"Tommy! Over here," Kwest yelled over the noise.

After sighing in relief, he began making his way over towards Kwest, Sadie, a few people from G-Major, and two other people he didn't recognize. He had barely stepped into the club when he heard the excited chattering of loosely dressed girls. Not that he was against that. The way he saw it, the less clothing a girl wore, the better. It left less to the imagination. But he wasn't into the whole mob of fangirls business. He was a man who valued his privacy. Which was rather ironic, considering how often he appeared in tabloids.

He found a seat and shrugged his jacket off and couldn't help but feel a little awkward, especially with the antagonistic stare that Sadie was giving him. He tried to ignore it the best he could, but she was looking at him like he was a bug that she wanted to squash. It didn't seem very fair to him, especially since she didn't know anything about him.

Attempting to ignore the blatant hostility radiating from her glare, he tried to start a conversation with Kwest when his best friend cleared his throat. He looked over at Sadie and gave her a pointed look. "Honey. Aren't you going to introduce everybody to Tom?"

Oh. God.

_Please let me get struck by lightening right now._ Anything would be better than this. He'd even take a mob of fangirls over this. What the hell was Kwest thinking? Surely he knew that Tommy didn't give a shit if he knew everybody at the table or not?

The auburn hair-colored chick that was sitting next to Sadie was giving Tommy a sympathetic stare, almost as if she were saying she could feel his pain right at this very moment.

Sadie merely rolled her eyes, crossing her arms in the process. "He's _your_ friend, _honey_. You invited him, therefore, _you_ can introduce him to everybody."

Kwest cleared his throat uncomfortably and glared at Sadie, silently, and obviously, telling her that they would talk about it later, and then turned back to Tommy. "Tommy, this is Beth and Jason. Sadie met both of them while she was in school. And then, you remember everybody from G-Major." Tommy nodded and felt relief flood through him when the introductions were all over.

Conversations ensued and Tommy couldn't have been more grateful when the tense atmosphere lifted from the table. With everybody engaged in their own business, he felt like the spotlight had been taken off of him and that things were back to normal. Occasionally he would notice Sadie glaring at him, but he chose to rub it off. He had no idea what the hell her problem was and he honestly didn't care.

He turned to Kwest, "So, what's been happening since I left? Anything worth mentioning?" he asked as he took a swig of his beer.

Kwest looked pensive for a moment then smiled. "Nah, man. Same old, same old."

Lie. He knew when his best friend wasn't telling the truth—mainly because Kwest sucked at lying. But obviously, he didn't want to tell Tommy something, and he wasn't about to pry. He hated when people got up in his business and he wasn't about to do that to Kwest.

He raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Really?"

"Really. Anyway, what's been going on with you?" Kwest started laughing and shook his head. "What was that 'indecent exposure' business all about?"

Tommy groaned. "_That_ was a misunderstanding."

Kwest started laughing even harder and seemed to have captured the attention of the rest of the group while he was at it. "How can that _possibly_ be a misunderstanding?"

The rest of the group, excluding Sadie, looked on attentively, waiting for Tommy to continue and explain the whole debacle. "Look, I had to use the bathroom. Badly. And some poor old lady that was walking by thought I… oh God, are you really going to make me finish telling this story?"

Kwest chuckled. "Oh yeah. You've _got_ to finish it now."

Sighing, he took the plunge and delved into the entire ghoulish story. "The lady thought… she basically thought I was flashing her my package, alright? She failed to realize I was just taking a piss and then she ran up to me and started beating me with her purse and got out her big-ass cell phone that she was carrying with her and proceeded to call the police. I could hear the laughter erupting from the other end of the phone after she told them who had committed the offense."

By the time he had finished the story, the entire table was cracking up, himself and surprisingly Sadie, included.

The rest of the night was rather uneventful. Sadie's loathing stares had lessened. In fact, she had even tried to talk to him a couple of times. Most of the attempts were short and direct. Not that he minded, though.

He was getting ready to leave and call it a night when he noticed a beautiful blonde grinning at him. He fought the urge groan in frustration. While he could certainly use the action, he had to remember that he had work in the morning.

Her grin widened into a full-on seductive smile and she bit off her olive from her martini. He felt his throat go dry.

_Work in the morning,_ he told himself. _This is your last shot._

The woman looked away from him and began chatting with a nearby bar patron. She started laughing and her entire face just lit up. He really should just do the right thing and leave. It was an on-going battle with his conscience and he was trying so hard to ignore the devil horns that were trying to tempt him. He was about to take a drink of his beer when he looked down and noticed his bottle was empty.

_It's a sign, Tommy. It's a sign telling you to ignore that beautiful woman sitting at the bar and to go home._

She looked back towards Tommy and when she bit into a strawberry, he knew he lost the battle. Of course, he couldn't honestly say he ever intended on _winning_ the battle.

He excused himself from the group and proceeded to the bar to ask for another beer. The woman smiled at him again and Tommy couldn't help but be amused. She knew how to lure men in, that much was certain.

"Hi, I'm Tom."

"Lexie."

The bartender placed his new drink in front of him and Lexie decided to carry on the introduction. "So Tom. Do you dance?"

He smirked. "I have a few moves up my sleeve."

"Well, then. Care to show me what you've got?"

"I'd be a fool to turn you down."

He set his drink down on the bar, grabbed her by the hand, and led the way to the dance floor. When they found a spot and she pressed herself up against him as they began to start dancing, he swallowed hard. This was about to get interesting…

* * *

"Shouldn't you be over at your boyfriend's house right now, Jude?" Johnny asked as he popped a piece of popcorn into his mouth. "This is the second night you've been over at my place. Not that I don't mind the company."

Jude scoffed. "Please. You're leaving soon. I need some quality Johnny time. Jamie can wait," she replied off-handedly.

She smiled as she thought of Jamie. He had been her boyfriend nearly two years now. But still, as happy as she was about it, she could never seem to let go of the how and the why they were dating. She could feel the guilt start to work its way through every cell in her body, but she tried to shrug it off quickly.

The last thing she wanted was to go into depression mode while she was with Johnny. This was fun time.

"I'm sure he would _love_ to hear that one, babe."

"Psh. Jamie knows there's nothing to worry about. He and I are solid and he knows that. And besides that… it's _you_. What does he have to worry about?"

Johnny feigned a look of hurt. "Hey! I'm very worry-worthy, thanks."

Jude laughed. "Right, because we have _such_ an undeniable passion for each other, Johnny." She crawled over to him and straddled his lap and pushed him back forcefully into the couch cushion. "We really _shouldn't_ deny each other any longer."

Johnny rolled his eyes. "Get off, freak."

Jude sighed. "You really know how to woo a girl."

He picked her up by the waist and moved her off of his lap. "I'll have you know that I have absolutely no trouble in the 'wooing' department. It's just… well, why should I waste any good material on _you_, babe?"

Instead of taking offense to the remark like he had obviously intended, she merely scoffed and smacked him upside the head. "Uh… hello? Good practice! Here you have a perfect practice-dummy, and you don't even use it to your advantage!"

Johnny snickered. "Did you just call yourself a dummy?"

"Not the point!"

"Jude, I've never had any trouble getting dates. I don't need to 'practice' my pick-up lines on you."

"Oh, so that's why you've had women beating down your door for the last couple of months? Because you don't have any trouble getting dates?"

He sighed in frustration. "I'm _choosing_ not to date right now. You know that."

"I do know that, but I still don't understand _why_."

"And it doesn't even matter! Look, I'm leaving here in a couple of days, so what's the point?"

Jude shook her head, feeling herself growing more and more irritated with her best friend. "I'm not talking about now! What about before?"

"Jude, stop pushing this," he said with an icy finality in his voice.

She sighed and knew that this line of questioning was now over. She should have known better, though. Any time she brought this subject up, he always seemed to clam up around her and get easily frustrated.

Johnny Summers was a patient man. More patient than anyone she had ever met before in her life. But when it came to prying into stuff that he didn't want to talk about, he had a short fuse. She'd only ever seen him angry once and she didn't care to have a repeat experience.

She had gotten so scared that she avoided him for days afterwards. Finally, he had showed up on her doorstep with two cups of coffee in hand and explained himself. He had told her that he's normally a peaceful guy, but when his fuse gets blown, it's not a pretty sight to witness, as she had already figured out. He had apologized profusely for scaring her and it had taken a while for things to get back to normal, but they did eventually.

He cleared his throat. "Sorry. I promise I'm good."

She smiled at him and snuggled against him and he started to brush her hair away from her face. "So, enough about me. Let's talk about you and Andrews. If I remember correctly, the old two-year anniversary is coming up. Any plans?"

"I think," she said with uncertainty.

Johnny raised an eyebrow. "You think? Care to elaborate?"

"Ugh. Jamie is not telling me _anything_. Not one small teensy, tiny little clue. He's got plans locked up tighter than the gold at Fort Knox."

"Awww, the neighbor-boy is planning on surprising you. How romantic," he chuckled.

Jude's face flushed with embarrassment and she smacked Johnny on the shoulder. "Shut up. He's trying, okay?"

They both knew Jamie wasn't exactly 'one-with-the-words' and he often had trouble conveying just how much he cared about Jude. And that made her love him all that much more. He was always going out of his way to make sure she was happy and she was.

But as she thought back to her meeting with Tommy earlier that day, she frowned. She didn't know why, but something about that guy gave her a bad vibe. She could tell that things were changing and, for some odd reason, she had a feeling that because of him, those changes wouldn't be for the better.

All the horror stories she'd heard of his personality didn't bode well with her. And she didn't understand it, either. When they had worked together, he had been a little rough around the edges and kept her at arms length. Well, more like the length of _two_ arms. But he was never as callous as she had heard people make him out to be. Or as what she had witnessed earlier.

What had happened in such a short amount of time to make him so… different?

"Hey, hey. Why so far away?" Johnny asked softly.

She sat up and looked at him with a sad expression on her face. "You'll still call, right?"

His face grew serious and he grabbed her by the hand. "Of course. Hey, what's the matter?"

She could feel her throat tightening with emotion and she had to fight back the tears. She hated crying and she especially hated crying in front of Johnny. The last thing she wanted to do was make him feel even worse about the fact that he was leaving, but the more she thought about it, the harder it was to keep the tears away. "I'm just going to miss you, is all. You've always been here and it's just going to be weird without you."

His gaze softened and he tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "I'm going to call you so much that you're going to get sick of it. I'll e-mail, text. You name it. It'll be like I'm not even gone," he said as he pulled her into a hug.

She tried to believe that. She really did.

But the nagging feeling that it just wouldn't happen the way he was describing it kept plaguing her.

So for now, she'd just choose to live in denial. She could take comfort in his presence right now and enjoy what time they had left together.

Reality could wait.

* * *

Tommy rubbed his face tiredly as the alarm beeped. He looked over to the other side of the bed and sighed in relief when he noted that it was empty.

That was one less headache he had to deal with. Lacey, or was it Lucy? Well, no matter. The chick that had come back to his place last night was not happy when he had made her leave. He had fallen asleep half-expecting to have her still be there.

Since that obviously wasn't an issue, he happily got out of bed to start the day.

After he was showered and shaved, he made his way to his Viper that had thankfully been delivered yesterday in one piece. Heads would have rolled if anything had happened to his car.

Once he disengaged the locks, he got inside and made his way to get some coffee and a biscotti. To him, there was nothing better than a biscotti and coffee in the morning to get his morning going.

Tommy groaned as he saw the line in the coffee shop. Didn't matter, though. He would wait. This place had the best coffee in the Toronto area as far as he was concerned, and, to top it off, it was really close to G-Major.

Fifteen minutes later, he had his coffee and food in hand. Things were good.

Not only did he not have to worry about the blonde girl, but he had woken up with no hangover. Which was a miracle, considering how much he had had to drink the night before. Perhaps he could handle his liquor better than he had originally thought. He could have sworn he was going to wake up with a pounding headache, but, nonetheless, was thankful when he didn't.

The drive to G-Major didn't take long and he was almost saddened by that fact. He really wasn't looking forward to today. He had a feeling that even though his headache was absent now, that it would be present soon enough. He scowled as he thought back to his sessions with Jude when she had first started out.

Yeah, they connected musically, but she was a stubborn teenager who knew how to get under his skin like no other. The first recording session he had had with her, he had to take at least three aspirin after it was all said and done.

She had been so adamant that she wasn't changing the song and then that little geeky punk-boy that had always hung around her like a puppy with his tongue hanging out of his mouth, decided to add fuel to the fire and make up some excuse to get her out of the studio.

She had been more than willing to get out of there and Tommy had wanted to strangle her at that point.

Thankfully, things _had_ gotten better after their trip to the lake, but it wasn't without consequence. There was a moment when his world had shifted and thrown everything entirely off-balance. It was an uncomfortable feeling and he hated not being in control.

She hadn't been imagining things when she had impulsively kissed him. If she hadn't been so damn young, he probably would have kissed her back… Thankfully he had been too shocked to do anything other than just stand there like a moron.

He shoved those thoughts away and refused to let his mind wander there again. He had done a good job of keeping his shit together so far since he'd been back, and he wasn't about to let it all unravel.

He glanced at the clock and cringed. He was fifteen minutes late. Great. Just fucking great.

But as he made his way to the studio, he noticed that his artist wasn't there either. He scowled and checked around the rest of G-Major and he could feel the muscles in his jaw working. He knew the vein his neck was probably standing out by this point, but he didn't really care.

Where the hell was Jude?

It was now ten o'clock and still no artist.

He saw some kid with a guitar… shit, was his name again? He really needed to get better at learning peoples' names. He wouldn't always be able to get away with calling somebody 'hey you.'

Glancing down at the guitar-case, he noticed the name and it clicked. He was the guitarist from Jude's band.

"Hey Spiderman."

He continued strumming the guitar and corrected Tommy. "It's Spiederman."

Tommy rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Have you seen Jude?"

"Yeah, dude. She's at her house."

"Excuse me?"

"She said she didn't have to come in until nine this evening."

Tommy was trying desperately to keep his anger in check. It wasn't working.

He started for the main doors of G-Major and a surprised Kwest spotted him and immediately had an 'uh-oh' look on his face. He knew when his best friend was pissed. "Yo Tom. Where are you going?"

"To Jude's."


	6. Chapter 5

A new chapter for everybody!

Thanks so much for the feedback. I always look forward to reading the comments, so please, keep them coming!

This chapter is a bit of a lit-hearted, fun chapter. There's some Jommy bantering involved, so I hope you all like it!

On with the chapter...

Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star.

* * *

**Chapter 5**

Jude groaned when she heard an incessant banging noise. She tried covering her head with her pillow, but it did nothing to drown out the sound.

She huffed as she realized it was probably Quincy, but her annoyance soon turned into amusement. She knew very well that he had meant AM and not PM, but he hadn't specified which he wanted. So, technically, there wasn't a set time for her to go into work today.

Rolling out of bed, she pulled on her robe and didn't bother fixing her hair before making her way to the front door. She didn't see the point; she wasn't out to impress anybody. Especially not Tom Quincy.

She pulled the door open and crossed her arms when she found Tommy's fist raised in mid-knock. "You do realize you could get arrested for disturbing the peace?"

"Get dressed," he said through clenched teeth.

She merely smiled and shook her head. "Why would I do that? I was still sleeping, thanks."

"Jude, when I say I want you in the studio at 9:00, I mean it. I know your last producer might have been a bit lax with you, but that's all going to change."

Her eyes shone with fury at the accusation against her professionalism, but she kept her cool smile locked on her face. "Look, you're the one that didn't specify which 9:00 you meant."

He sighed loudly at her defiance. "You knew I meant AM."

Once again, she shook her head and smiled innocently. "Well, you didn't _say_ AM, did you? Technically, I've done nothing wrong because first of all, you didn't say morning or evening, and secondly? You. Aren't. My. Producer."

His jaw was clenched and she fought the urge to laugh at the sight in front of her. He was so easily riled it was ridiculous.

"Wow. You're like the worst kind of broken record. I thought we already covered this ground, Jude?" He sighed and she could tell he was trying to calm himself. "Like it or not, I am your producer. And we have a _lot_ of work to do."

Her eyes narrowed as he placed an emphasis on 'a lot'. What the hell? He made it sound like they had nothing to work with! "Well you may be my new producer, but my _current_ producer is still here! A small fact that _you_ seem to have forgotten!"

He let out an exasperated sigh and she could literally feel his patience thinning. "Jude. We need to get used to each other, whether we like it or not."

She smiled cheekily. Way back when, before he got into his solo career, she had heard a thing or two about Tom Quincy. Why not use that information to her advantage? "You mean like you got 'used' to your other artist back in Montreal?"

As she looked at the expression on his face, her smile slowly faded. She was so stupid. She really should think before she said stupid shit like that.

He got eerily silent, but the darkened gaze remained firmly in place. "Get dressed, Jude," he whispered.

She nodded wordlessly, too cautious and anxious to actually try to form words, and motioned for him to come inside, but he shook his head. "I'll wait in the car. Five minutes."

"Okay," she said quietly. "Tom—"

"Five minutes," he said curtly and started walking towards his Viper.

Jude shut the door warily and slowly ascended the stairs. There was something about the way his eyes turned dark, almost black, at her words that sent chills down her spine. Obviously she had struck a chord with that stupid comment she made.

Ignoring the ominous feeling still plaguing her, she quickly dressed, brushed her teeth, fixed the ratty ponytail her hair was already in, and made her way back downstairs. As she looked at the clock, she sighed in relief when she saw that she still had a minute to spare. The last thing she wanted was to further piss Quincy off.

As she approached the car, he still didn't look as though he was back to normal yet, so she headed towards her Mustang.

She was nearly to her car when she heard her name being called. "Jude!" Turning slowly back around, she saw that Tommy now had an annoyed expression on his face. Cripe, she couldn't do anything right with him, it seemed.

"What?"

"What are you doing?"

"Getting into my car. I'll follow you to the studio."

He sighed. "That's stupid. We're both going to the same place, so we might as well ride together. Get in." She was getting ready to protest when he gave her a pointed look, telling her to get in the car.

She really didn't want to ride in such a closed space with him. Not after she had unwittingly gone and created even more tension between them. How the hell was she supposed to have known he was going to react that way?

All she could do was stand there, stupidly. The thought of being that close to him when he was obviously angry with her didn't do the greatest things for her stomach. The desire to completely ignore him and just drive herself to the studio consumed her.

But as she was getting ready to cave into that desire, he leaned over and opened her door, clearly letting her know that she was riding with him to G-Major. The ass.

She huffed in annoyance and reluctantly stepped into the car.

He glanced over at her and smirked, clearing his throat in the process. "Seat belt."

"I know. I'm not stupid. You couldn't pay me any amount of money to ride without a seat belt in a car with _you_ behind the wheel."

He sighed and turned his attention forward again, taking off with such force that she fell back into her seat. She gritted her teeth as she remembered a similar occurrence the first time she had ever been in the Viper with him.

The same exact thrill she had gotten before when she first rode in this car pulsed through her veins, and she couldn't believe how much she liked the feeling. Butterflies started fluttering in her stomach, but she was determined to ignore them or what they could possibly mean.

Mere minutes ago, she had been utterly terrified at the thought of stepping into this vehicle with him behind the wheel. But the longer she remained in the car with him, the faster she was starting to realize that she wasn't scared anymore. Not even the slightest.

And _that_ was what _did_ scare her.

She bit her lip and allowed herself to sneak a glance in his direction. He seemed so content now. A far cry from how he had looked earlier.

He must have felt her looking his way, because as she continued to blatantly stare at him, his eyes fluttered her direction. She quickly looked away and felt her cheeks begin to burn with embarrassment.

Neither one of them spoke a word during the drive so far, which only made the incredibly tiny space between them even more tense. Finally, after not being able to take the silence anymore, she made a move to turn on the stereo.

Bad idea.

Before she knew what was happening, a large hand enveloped hers. Her eyes widened and she swallowed nervously as she felt the heat from his touch burn her hand. It took everything in her not to yank it out from under his grasp. But she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing he was getting to her simply by touching her hand.

He took his eyes off the road and turned towards her, silently telling her that the radio was off-limits to anyone but him. As he was staring at her, more like glaring, his jaw clenched and he suddenly looked even more pissed off that he had before. Great. Just what she needed.

Finally, he released her hand and redirected his attention to the road ahead. The tension seemed to increase ten-fold after that and he thankfully powered up the stereo. She was incredibly thankful that she didn't have to be consumed by this uncomfortable silence.

But even with the radio on, the atmosphere hadn't changed any. The tension was so thick by the time they got to G-Major that she hurriedly unbuckled her seat belt and made a mad dash for the studio, trying to get away from him as quickly as possible.

Damn him.

Damn him to hell.

As she wandered into G-Major, she quickly detoured to the bathroom, not wanting to be locked in a studio with him just yet. She couldn't face him right now. Not when her stupid hand was still betraying her and tingling from that briefest of contact in his car.

Yeah right. Like she'd go see him now.

This was not good. She had to get her shit together and get back in control of things. Now.

She was not having this.

Guilt overwhelmed her as she thought about the burning sensation that skin contact had caused. So what if that had _never_ happened with her boyfriend of nearly two years. That didn't mean anything. Right? Right. She loved Jamie and that was what counted.

She paced the length of the bathroom and began cursing under her breath.

"Shit," she mumbled. "Shit."

"Well, this is the right place to do that, luckily."

Jude groaned. Karma. This was the last thing she needed right now. "What do you want Karma?"

"Can't a girl be concerned about her fellow co-worker?"

"A normal girl, yes. You… not so much," Jude replied with distaste.

"Geez, I was only trying to be helpful—"

"Karma, 'helpful' is not in your nature. You never 'help' somebody unless there's something in it for you. So what do you want?"

She smiled and crossed her arms fitfully. "Believe it or not, I saw you make a bee-line for the bathroom and wanted to see how you were doing. Quincy's really shorted your circuits, huh?"

Jude glared at her and clenched her jaw. "No."

"Oh okay. And I'm still a virgin," she remarked with an eye roll. "Please."

Jude couldn't help it. That was actually pretty funny, so she started laughing, shook her head, and smiled thankfully at Karma. "Thanks."

"No problem. Look, I know everybody—you—thinks I'm just some heartless bitch, but I can be a pretty decent listener from time-to-time."

Jude nodded and with that, Karma turned on her heel and walked away. She sighed and hung her head back so that she was staring at the ceiling.

She had never run from things before, so why was she suddenly starting to now?

She closed her eyes, sucked in a deep breath, and headed for Studio A.

* * *

Tommy waited patiently in Studio A for Jude to get there. He had no problems being away from her, especially after their little encounter this morning.

That was the last thing he had been expecting when he marched himself to Jude's house. At first, he had been a bit taken aback by her appearance. It was a little surprising to him that she would answer the door in her robe and with her hair a tangled mess of knots in her ponytail. But she hadn't even looked the least bit concerned.

Not that he had expected anything different.

Initially the conversation, well more like yelling, hadn't been that bad. It was more or less what he had remembered from their previous encounter. But then she had gone and provoked him in the worst possible way.

He shook his head roughly, tried to get his anger under control and dispel those thoughts. He wouldn't allow his mind to wander there.

Things did not seem to be working in his favor anymore this morning. The fight alone was enough to piss him off.

Not to mention the fact that he was mad at himself for allowing his body to react the way it had to the hand touching. His skin had flared with heat and his entire body had tensed. And he had a small feeling that she had reacted in a similar manner. The girl had looked like a deer caught in headlights.

He took a deep breath and decided to start setting things up for the session. At least if he started working he wouldn't be forced to think about things he really didn't want to be thinking about.

As he made his way over to the soundboard, he heard the door open and froze. He wasn't expecting her to be in here this soon.

"Hey man. Need any help?"

His breath instantly released as he realized it was Kwest and not Jude.

"Sure. Sounds good."

Kwest made his way over to the board and began grabbing various cords. Tommy looked over at Kwest, who was smirking. "What?"

Kwest shook his head, not saying anything. "Nothing."

"Whatever."

A minute or two of silence passed before Kwest finally decided to ask the question Tommy knew would be coming eventually. "So how are things with you and Jude?"

"There it is," Tommy said expectantly.

"What?" Kwest shrugged innocently. "I'm just asking."

"Yeah, and you're always 'just asking'. You got something to say? Just say it," he remarked irritably.

"All I'm saying is both of you came into G-Major looking rather… frazzled. She took off like she had a beehive behind her and you just looked pissed off and frustrated. What's the damage?"

"Nothing," he remarked stubbornly.

He wasn't about to give an inch. Kwest took the old saying, "give an inch, take a mile" a whole step further. He'd take two, sometimes three miles. And Tommy was smarter than that.

"Right. And Sadie doesn't like shoes. Please. This is _me_ you're talking to."

Tommy scowled and ran a hand through his hair. He didn't want to tell Kwest anything about the car incident, but maybe… maybe he could talk to him about what happened at her house.

"She brought my last artist up."

"Oh," he said as if it were no big deal. Tommy glared at Kwest and then his eyes widened in immediate understanding. "Oh!"

"Yeah. 'Oh'."

"So what happened?"

"What do you mean what happened? Nothing happened." Kwest gave him a condescending look that said he knew better and Tommy sighed. "I might have over-reacted."

"Might have?"

He rolled his eyes and decided to just cave and admit the truth. He'd already gotten this far, so why bother trying to lie to Kwest? He groaned. "Okay, so I did! Happy?'

"Jesus, Tom. You've got to let that go. Isn't that the whole reason Darius sent you here in the first place?"

Tommy's eyes narrowed. "How'd you know about that?"

Kwest looked guilty as he cleared his throat. "He uh, may or may not have called me and told me to keep an eye on you."

Tommy cursed under his breath and felt like going back to Montreal and strangling his boss. He didn't need to be handled! And his best friend keeping something like that from him. Perfect.

He was getting ready to say something when Jude entered the studio. He glared at her and mumbled, "It's about time."

"Well somebody obviously woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

He laughed and shook his head. "Actually, I had a _great_ morning until you decided to give in to the old cliché of being a dumb blonde!" He made his voice high-pitched and mocked her, "You never said morning or evening."

Jude laughed. "Funny. You know, after doing an impersonation like that, I'm beginning to wonder if you even _have_ a 'little Tommy Q,'" she quipped sarcastically. "No normal man should be able to manipulate their voice like that."

Kwest started howling. Tommy couldn't think of a time where his best friend had laughed harder. And this was at _his_ expense, no less! Oh well, he'd have to pay him back later.

Instead of letting her snide little comment get to him, though, he took it in stride. "You'd have to be among the privileged to find that out first hand I'm afraid, but I assure you that he's present and accounted for and in perfect working order, thanks very much."

"With maybe a disease or two thrown in there?" she commented with an eyebrow raise.

He chuckled and shook his head. "You know, you sure are making a lot of comments about my equipment. Makes me think that Jude Harrison has had some dirty thoughts about me."

"No. I haven't!"

But her face betrayed her. He couldn't fight the urge to laugh as an intense blush spread across her cheeks. "I'll take that as 'yes'," he managed to wheeze between fits of laughter.

"You're so arrogant!" she declared adamantly.

He didn't bother denying that fact. It was true, after all. He was arrogant. And he prided himself on it. "It's a quality you'll come to love," he smirked.

"Whatever. Let's just get to work, Quincy."

And with that, the atmosphere between them instantly changed. There was no longer a feeling of hostility between either one of them, and he had a feeling it was all thanks to her stupid 'little Tommy Q' comment.

* * *

The rest of the session passed without consequence. Johnny showed up and watched from the sidelines, which annoyed Jude. He should have been involved with everything. He was just moving; he wasn't dead for goodness' sake!

"I think you should change the chord progression," he declared for the second time in a row.

She gritted her teeth and shook her head. "I like it the way it is!"

"It doesn't sound right! You need a different chord variation!"

"I'm not changing it. Johnny, back me up on this." No answer came. She looked back at Johnny who was leaning against the wall with a guilty look on his face. "Johnny."

"Sorry, babe. I'm gonna have to agree with Quincy on this. It'll work better with a chord change."

"What?!"

She looked back at Tommy, who now had an arrogant smirk on his face, which she wanted to smack off.

She'd never admit it, but she had agreed with him from the second he suggested the chord change. She didn't like that they were connecting so quickly and she wanted to put a stop to it.

"I need a break," she said angrily as she tossed her pencil and notebook down on the floor.

She stormed out of the studio and made her way to the lobby, where thankfully, she found Jamie. She smiled instantly at the sight of him and felt better. At least she didn't have to worry about him changing on her anytime soon. He was still the same Jamie she had always known.

Finally, he spotted her and mirrored her smile. "Jude!"

He walked up to her and enveloped her in a hug, which she gladly reciprocated. She loved that he could comfort her like this. "Hey, what's going on in there? It looks brutal."

"I don't want talk about it."

"It might make you feel better," he prodded.

"It won't," she bit forcefully. "Just let it drop, please."

"Fine," he said disappointedly.

Now Jude was starting to feel pissed off. He was getting upset because she wouldn't talk to him about work?! So much for being able to turn to him for comfort. "Jamie, don't."

"Don't what? I'm not doing anything!"

"Yes you are! You're getting mad that I'm not telling you what's going on in every second of my work!" she yelled.

He shook his head and looked at her like she was insane. "You need to calm down. I'm not doing anything like that." He leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "I'll give you some time to sort through this and then I'll see you later this evening, okay?"

She sighed. "I'm sorry."

He smiled reassuringly and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "It's okay. You're under a lot of pressure right now. I understand," he said soothingly.

She suddenly felt guilty for being so hard on him just seconds ago. Maybe she had just been overly paranoid and read too much into his tone of voice. She was a mess right now and she had unfairly taken it out on Jamie. He didn't deserve it.

"Are we still on for dinner with Johnny tomorrow tonight?"

She felt her smile returning and nodded. "He's looking forward to it."

"Good. I'll make sure the reservations are still in place."

"Thanks."

She leaned in and gave him a brief kiss. "Time to go back into the lion's den. Wish me luck."

"Good luck," he said with a smirk.

She playfully stuck her tongue out at him as she continued walking back to the studio.

Feeling slightly better about things, she entered the studio again. But she was greeted with a shocking sight. Johnny and Tommy were laughing. A lot. She glanced between the two of them warily.

This wasn't supposed to be happening. Johnny wasn't supposed to like Quincy. They were supposed to hate each other. What happened to, 'the guy's a dick!'? Now he's siding with Tom and laughing and joking around with him? She wanted to strangle Johnny.

She cleared her throat un-amusedly and crossed her arms. "Let's get back to work, please. I'd like to get out of here sometime today."

"Everything okay?" Johnny asked tentatively, sounding almost scared.

"Fine."

"You sure?"

She clenched her jaw. "I'm. Fine." She sighed and ran a hand through her messy hair. "Let's just do the damn chord change."

Silence engulfed the room as they continued to work and she breathed a sigh of relief when Tommy finally said they were finished.

She and Johnny were getting ready to head out the door when Tommy stopped her. "Oh and Jude. Seven o'clock tomorrow."

"That's fine."

"A.M.," he said with a smirk.

"Whatever you say Quincy. You're the boss now," she said smartly.

He looked shocked for a second and then nodded.

All the while, Jude was fighting the urge to laugh.

Surely he didn't think he was getting away with it _that_ easily?


	7. Chapter 6

Hey all!

Thanks so much for the feedback! I appreciate it!

This next chapter is Jommy-friendly... for the most part, I believe. I hope you all enjoy it. The next few chapters after this one will be the set-up to the going-away dinner, which is interesting, to say the least. Please let me know what you all think. I do pay attention to the comments; I try to utilize whatever my readers have to say about it if it's at all possible.

Anyway, here is the next chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star.

* * *

**Chapter 6**

Jude glared at her alarm clock and was beginning to re-think this whole 'revenge' plot. Was it really worth it?

As she stared at the large red numbers on the clock and thought about possible reactions, she slyly grinned and decided that indeed, it was worth it. The look on his face _alone_ would be worth it.

Grumbling, she proceeded to force herself out of the comforts her bed offered. She yawned, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and blindly made her way to the bathroom, nearly tripping over a few items in the process. She never claimed she was neat.

After she was showered and refreshed, she finished the rest of her morning ritual and proceeded to head out the door.

She glanced down at the clock on her cell phone and grinned.

"Time for a wake-up call, Quincy."

* * *

"Tommy," a soft voice whispered, trying to coax him out of his sleep.

His eyes began to flutter open, but he forced them back shut. He had to be imagining things. That was the only rational explanation. He hadn't brought anybody to his place the night before last, so why would there be somebody in his bedroom?

He shifted in the bed, determined to ignore the prodding and fall back asleep.

"Tommy Q. Wake up."

Wait. That voice sounded familiar… but how the hell would she have been able to get into his apartment?

He groaned and pulled his covers over his head and mumbled a brief "Go away."

No sooner had his comforter been pulled up, however, it was yanked down. He shivered from the sudden gust of cold air and started grumbling while he forced his eyes open to see who the intruder was.

One lid slit open, he peeked and saw Jude staring amusedly down at him, with her face a little flushed in the process. Only then did he realize he was clad in only his boxers. "Jude?"

"In the flesh. Rise and shine sleeping beauty."

He glanced at the clock and felt his eyes widen. "You're fuckin' crazy. Get out."

Who the hell showed up at somebody's apartment at 5:30 in the morning as a revenge tactic? Yes, he knew that that was what this was all about. She was trying to get back at him for setting up a 7:00 studio time.

No matter. He would just ignore her.

He attempted to reach for the covers again, but Jude had an advantage over him, seeing as how she was more alert than he was. She quickly pulled the covers completely back, and he sadly watched as they landed on the floor.

He was trying desperately to stay calm and not throttle her.

So he fell back into the bed and turned back over on his side.

"Come on Tommy. Up and at 'em. Greet the day."

"Shut up," he mumbled.

"You know, you really shouldn't be so grouchy," she quipped humorously.

He took a deep breath and grit his teeth, "I'm normally not grouchy. Sorry, I'm just not used to people, who are virtually strangers, barging into my apartment and waking me up."

"Oh don't be such a fuss-pot. You're the clever fellow that said 7:00 A.M., so I thought I'd just return the favor and give you a little wake-up call."

As tired as he was, he didn't fail to catch the double meaning her wording implied. He got a wake-up call, all right. Never underestimate Jude Harrison.

Groaning, he placed a pillow over his head and his words came out muffled. "And you've woken me up. Thank you very much. Now you can leave."

"Oh wow! I didn't notice you had a plasma in here! That's awesome. I think I might watch some TV," she blabbered on as if he hadn't even spoken.

He reluctantly removed the pillow from his face, hugged it to his chest, and glared at her. "Do you strive to be this annoying, or does it just come naturally?"

She shrugged innocently and he fought the urge to laugh. This wasn't an amusing situation. Yet somehow, he had to admire the girl's guts. Honestly, it was something he would have pulled back in the day and he couldn't be mad at her for that. He was, however, astonished as he watched her plop herself down on the edge of his bed as though it were the most natural thing in the world for her to do. Most people would probably have been uncomfortable. But not her.

As the television came to life, he sighed. There was no point in trying to go back to sleep now. "Fine. You win. I'm up."

Rolling out of bed, he began to make his way to the bathroom and nearly tripped over the blankets strewn on the floor. He would have fallen flat on his face if it hadn't been for her fast reflexes.

Quickly noticing his descent, she shot off the bed, catching him as he fell. Her left forearm gripped his abdomen tightly, causing him to swallow nervously. Her right arm was on his back and proceeded to trail lazily down the small of his back as he straightened himself out. He shivered at the feel of her fingertips against his bare skin. The same sensation that had occurred yesterday shot through him again, only this time, it was even more intensified. He didn't fail to notice his surroundings, nor did he fail to notice how nervous she clearly was as well.

They were inches apart—all he had to do was take one step and his lips could be on hers; he had a feeling she wouldn't exactly push him away. He could do what he should have done at The Vinyl Palace and kiss her senseless. That's what his body was telling him to do.

He quickly shoved those thoughts to the back of his mind. That was exactly what _couldn't_ happen. It would only lead to trouble and that was the last thing he needed.

He put some much-needed distance between them and uncomfortably cleared his throat while trying to compose himself.

"Thank you."

She offered an amused chuckle. "I'm gonna have to start calling you Grace, Quincy."

He wanted desperately to smirk as he noticed how unsteady and uncertain her voice was as she spoke. But he restrained himself, as difficult as it was. Instead, he pretended he didn't notice.

"Ha, ha."

Before he made his way through the bathroom door, he turned back and let out a resigned sigh. "Look, since we're both up, we might as well go for breakfast. What do you say?"

She looked surprised, shocked, and flustered. He didn't ever remember her blushing quite this much before. Though it was an amusing sight to see.

"Sure. Sounds good."

He smiled and nodded. "Give me twenty minutes and we can go." He yelled over his shoulder as he entered the bathroom. "Don't touch anything."

* * *

As promised, twenty minutes later, they were heading out to Tommy's car. Jude was shocked to learn that he did things like open doors. Even when they stepped out of the elevator, he let her go first.

Noticing things like that wasn't doing her much good. She should be ignoring those little factors and focusing on the annoying things he did. Though if she were honest with herself, she would admit to having trouble focusing on the 'annoying' things.

She wished she could fight this forever, but she was getting tired of it. Based on their session yesterday, it was clear that they still connected musically and that was something that was difficult to ignore.

She had been so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even notice that they had gotten to the restaurant. Tommy snapped his fingers in front of her face to get her attention. "Space cadet. We're here."

"Oh. Right," she replied lamely as she unbuckled her seatbelt. "Thanks."

"What's with you? You've been oddly quiet this morning."

She shrugged as she shoved her hands in the front pockets of her jeans. "I'm just not a morning person," she responded truthfully. While it wasn't the entire truth, she wasn't necessarily lying either. She wasn't a morning person.

Tommy laughed and she fought hard not to notice the way his eyes twinkled, or that it made him look incredibly younger when he laughed. "So you dragged your ass out of bed just to get even with me?"

"Pretty much," she admitted sheepishly.

"Should I feel special or scared?" he chuckled.

"I'd go for an even split."

She stopped dead in her tracks when she noticed that he'd opened the door to the restaurant and scowled. "Do you always do this?"

"Good grief! You're complaining about me opening doors? Fine, I won't be a gentleman anymore," he bit out irritably.

"Just forget it," she mumbled, frustrated.

He didn't seem to understand how much she didn't want to like him. And he was making it increasingly difficult to continue her rebellion.

"Booth or table?"

She sighed as she noted that his words were short and clipped. Rubbing the back of her neck, trying to relieve some the tension in her muscles, she glanced around and saw that the diner only had a few patrons there this early, which meant there were plenty of options available. "Booth, I guess."

His movements were stiff as he walked in front of her, cutting her off. _Really mature, Tom,_ she thought sardonically.

She gritted her teeth as she slid into the booth and decided to cave in and apologize. "I'm sorry."

He laughed, only there wasn't really any humor in the laugh at all. "Remind me to play a game of strip poker with you sometime. You're horrible at bluffing."

Jude glared at him for the insinuation and was getting ready to say something when a waitress came up to their booth with two menus in hand.

She was a younger woman and perfectly beautiful. The waitress had a thick head of red, wavy hair, piercing green eyes, and her skin looked flawless. She saw Tommy blatantly checking this woman out and, to her distress, felt an instant spark of jealousy stirring in the pit of her stomach.

"Mornin'. My name is Rebecca and I'll be your waitress today."

Jude noted that Rebecca had a southern drawl and sounded annoyingly cute. She stole a glance at Tommy, whose interest seemed to have peaked even further than it had before.

"Hi Rebecca. My name's Tommy," he said with a dazzling smile. Jude fought the urge to throw up. "Your accent is _adorable_. Are you from around here?" Jude rolled her eyes. _Clearly_ the girl wasn't from around here. She seriously hoped that Rebecca wasn't stupid enough to fall for this.

But, much to Jude's disappointment, Rebecca blushed profusely and shook her head. "Oh no. I was born and raised in Georgia."

"Fascinating," he stated with a smile still present.

Jude glared at him and had an overwhelming desire to slap him. He was flirting with their waitress! He was acting as though he _didn't_ have another person with him. To keep herself from caving into her insane want to slap Tommy, she crossed her arms and leaned as far back into the booth as she could go.

Luckily, Rebecca started the order process. "What can I get y'all to drink?"

Tommy chuckled. "I'll have a coffee, black, please."

After writing that down, she looked at Jude and smiled sweetly. Good Lord, this woman was impossible to dislike. "And what about you, miss?"

"Same."

Tommy raised an eyebrow, but Jude was determined to ignore him. She wasn't in the mood to deal with him right now.

"Alrighty. Take your time lookin' at the menu and I'll be right back with your coffees.

Jude promptly opened her menu and could actually _feel_ Tommy staring at her through the pitiful excuse for a wall. It was damn annoying. She didn't understand why all of her senses seemed to be so attuned to him. "What?"

"Nothing."

Curiosity willed her to prod it out of him, but she just stared at the menu, trying to figure out something to order.

But as she was looking through the list of available choices, she could still feel his gaze on her.

Annoyed, she lowered the menu to find him smirking at her. "What?" she barked a second time.

His smirk widened into a full smile. "Are you jealous?"

She rolled her eyes and put the menu back in its original place. He was so cocky and sure of himself that she was ready to hurl.

Instead of seeing her silence as defiance, he seemed to have taken it as confirmation to his suspicion because the next thing she heard was Tommy's amused laughter filling the diner.

"I'm not jealous," she said through clenched teeth.

"Right."

She lowered the menu and rolled her eyes. "You know something? I'm surprised your ego managed to fit through the door, Quincy. I've no reason to be jealous."

"And why's that?" he asked with his smirk still in place.

"I have a boyfriend. That's why."

* * *

Tommy sat in stunned silence. She had given no indication that she had a boyfriend.

Although, it shouldn't really be shocking knowledge. It's not like he had expected her to be boyfriendless.

Before he could stop his mouth from moving, three words slipped out that made him cringe. "Who is it?"

What the hell was that? _Who is it?_ If he didn't need his tongue, he was giving serious thought to cutting it out right at the moment. He didn't care if she had a boyfriend, so why would he go and ask who it was?

Much to his humiliation, Jude was smirking. "That's not really any of your business, is it Quincy?"

"I—"

The southern bell, Rebecca, cut him off, coming back with their drinks.

He flashed her one of his million-dollar smiles. "Thank you." From the corner of his eye, he saw Jude rolling her eyes, yet again, which amused him. For somebody who claimed not to be jealous, she sure was demonstrating the typical envious signs.

Rebecca returned his smile and got out her pad of paper. "Have you two decided what you want to eat?"

He looked at Jude, who nodded. "I'll have French toast with powdered sugar, strawberries, and a side of bacon, please."

Tommy couldn't help but stare as she finished ordering. He was used to girls that ordered a grapefruit or some other food item that wasn't enough to sustain any normal person's hunger. He found it hard to believe that somebody as tiny as her would be able to finish all of that.

"Excellent choice. The French toast is a favorite around here," Rebecca said with her sweet and charming smile. She turned to Tommy and was ready to take his order.

"I'll have a western omelet with a side of bacon and home fries, please."

"Okay. Your order should be up soon and y'all just let me know if you need anything."

As she turned and walked away, Tommy watched her sway her hips and couldn't help but admire the way her jeans fit her. He was going to have to try and get her number.

After he turned around, he stared at Jude with an amused look on his face. She was taking a sip of her coffee when she spotted him looking at her. "What?"

"You gonna eat all that, Harrison?"

"That's nothing compared to what I normally get. And yes, I will finish it, Quincy. Unlike those bimbos you usually date, _I_ know how to eat, thanks. I like food."

He chuckled and nodded his head. "I'll give you that. But we'll see if you finish everything."

"I'll finish everything," she said determinedly.

"Okay," he nodded.

Silence passed and he noticed Jude was getting fidgety. He had never really ever bothered wondering what was going through a person's head before, but now, curiosity was getting the better of him. She kept avoiding his gaze and she looked irritated. She let out a small, annoyed huff, and took out a small flip-notebook and was now writing it.

"Do you always take your work with you?" he asked, amused.

"You never know when inspiration will hit. And besides, it's better than forcing myself to have a meaningless conversation with you," she said irritably.

Now he was getting mad. Just seconds ago, things were tolerable between them and then she goes and says something like that. He didn't understand the back and forth personality. "Okay, seriously, _what_ is your damage?" He was getting frustrated with all the jabs she kept making at him, especially that one. She made him sound like he couldn't say anything intelligent and he was lower than dirt.

"What are you talking about?" she asked without looking up from the notebook.

"You're _always_ picking fights with me—ever since I got back!"

"You've only been back for three days, Quincy," she remarked with an eye roll.

Tommy let out an exasperated sigh and felt like strangling her. She was avoiding the topic at hand and he had a feeling it was deliberate.

"You know what? Whatever," he said angrily. "Just forget it."

"Fine," she said happily.

"Fine."

He leaned back in the booth and took a drink of his coffee and let out an angry curse as he did so. He forgot it was going to be hot liquid. He quickly put the coffee back down on the table, but in his hast, he was clumsy and knocked the mug over.

After the coffee spilled all over her notebook, he expected her to get angry with him for being so careless, but instead, she simply had an amused look on her face. "What was that all about?"

As he was grabbing the napkins to clean up the spilled liquid, he avoided her gaze and mumbled under his breath, "I burnt my tongue."

She started laughing at him as she helped him clean up the rest of the coffee and he grudgingly noted that she had a nice laugh. Her face really lit up when she laughed and she looked easily more relaxed.

"This is your second klutz moment this morning, Quincy."

In all honesty, he didn't remember ever being this uncoordinated. It was slightly frustrating that he seemed to be making a fool out of himself in front of her.

"What can I say, Harrison? You bring out the best in me," he said dryly.

Though the comment was supposed to be sarcastic, he watched her face turn serious. She cleared her throat and quickly looked away.

And they were back to the avoiding again.

He was beginning to believe that she was probably one of the most frustrating women he had ever come across.

He sighed, leaning back into the booth once more and wished their orders would get finished so he didn't have to deal with this anymore this morning.

Although, he supposed he should be grateful for her skittishness and determination to keep him at arms' length. It made things easier on him and that meant less drama that he would have to deal with. And less drama was always a good thing.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Pick up the tempo, Jude."

"If I pick up the tempo anymore, it's going to be too fast for the sound I want for the song!" she yelled in the mic angrily.

Tommy sighed in frustration. She had been like this since they got back into the studio—fighting him on every little thing.

"Would you just listen to me for once?! I was right about the chord change yesterday. Hell, I was right about "24 Hours"! You fought me every step of the way and then you changed it and it was damn good! Don't you think I _might_ just be right about this too?!"

He watched her body tense. He had never actually noticed anybody stiffen before, but as he sat on the other side of the glass, he noticed an immediate change in her as soon as he brought up their very first song they'd ever collaborated on together.

She was rigid and looked damn angry.

"You know what? It's not your song," she said quietly.

Jude grabbed her headphones and angrily pulled them off of her ears. He shook his head as he recognized what was about to come next.

Sure enough, just as he predicted, she began storming out of the recording booth, but luckily, he was faster than her. He grabbed her by the arm and she glared at him with such an intensity that he almost backed down. Almost.

"We're finishing the song. You're not running out."

"Let go," she said through clenched teeth.

"No."

"Let go!" she said more forcefully than before. She tried tugging her arm out of his grasp, but he expected that and tightened his grip. "I hate you," she seethed.

He swallowed and for some reason unknown to him, he felt his throat tightening at her words.

For a while he couldn't think of anything to say back to her. He didn't understand why she was fighting him so hard on this, why she would say something like that to him. Things were okay between them this morning. They had almost settled into their old working habits. She had even let him pay for breakfast without fighting him on it. Sure things had been tense off and on during the meal, but at least things seemed to have balanced out by the time they'd finished eating. He'd even had her laughing again on the ride into G-Major. It was like this girl had an on and off switch. For the life of him he didn't know where all this anger was coming from.

When she tugged her arm once more, she snapped him out of his trance and he began nodding. "Fine. You want to hate me? Then hate me. But we're finishing the damn song. Now sit down," he bit out.

She glared at him as he tossed her arm aside, but she sat down, nonetheless.

"Grab your guitar. We're going to work on it from the top."

She said nothing as she picked up the instrument.

He took the opportunity to do the same, but when he turned back around to face her, he was greeted with a shocking sight. He saw liquid forming in her eyes and she was angrily wiping a stray tear away.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Take a break Jude. I'll listen to what we've got so far, okay?"

She nodded and quickly left the room, not looking back once. He shook his head and angrily slammed his fist down on the soundboard after she vacated the room. He needed to get to the bottom of this so they could get to work and not let all this drama get in the way. This was the part about producing that he hated.

He gritted his teeth as he realized that there was only one person that could help him understand where all of this was coming from and he really, _really_ didn't want to ask them.

But, he didn't have a choice. So he got out of his chair and went to go find Kwest. He needed to have a little chat with his girlfriend.

* * *

"Will you go shopping with me this evening before we have to have dinner with Johnny?" Jude asked Sadie anxiously.

Sadie raised a wary eyebrow and felt Jude's forehead with the back of her hand. "Are you feeling okay, Jude? Because my baby sister would never initiate shopping trips."

"What can I say, I'm a rebel?" she offered, purposefully avoiding Sadie's suspicions. This was not something she was going to talk to Sadie about. "So will you?"

"You know I'd never turn down a chance to go shopping. Besides, there's a sale at my favorite lingerie store. I've been dying to show Kwest—"

"Please, don't finish that sentence."

Sadie looked sheepish and shrugged. "Sorry."

"So we're on for tonight, then?"

"Yup. See you then," Sadie remarked as she made her way back to the receptionist's desk.

Jude sighed in relief. A distraction. That's what this shopping trip was going to be about—a chance to get away from Tom Quincy and put him in the back of her mind.

No sooner had she thought the words, she saw Tommy coming out of the studio, looking somewhat pissed off and at his wit's end. Not that she could blame him. She felt horrible for saying that she hated him. It was the farthest thing from the truth.

She really didn't know why she said it either. It was as if something inside of her just snapped. When he brought up their old sessions together, it was surprisingly painful for her to hear. She thought she had gotten over that a long time ago.

Apparently not.

Her eyes widened when she saw him coming her direction and she quickly dashed behind the nearest item for cover—a large potted plant. She rolled her eyes at how ridiculous she was being, but didn't move from her spot. The last thing she wanted was to have a run-in with _him_ right now. And besides that, this plant made for a surprisingly good cover. She remained well hidden behind it.

"Sadie! I'm glad I found you. Do you have a second?"

Great. Now she was eavesdropping. Of course, she could stop being such a coward and come out of hiding, but she wasn't quite ready to deal with him yet.

"For you? No," she answered smartly.

Jude tried to suppress a snicker at her sister's answer. She knew she loved Sadie for a reason.

Through the parting of some of the leaves on the plant, she saw Tommy roll his eyes. Poor guy. She almost felt bad for him.

"Okay, what is it with Harrison women? Are you out to destroy the last of my sanity or something?"

Sadie sighed. "What'd Jude do now?"

Tommy remained silent for a moment and Jude was hoping and praying that he would just keep his mouth shut instead of tattling on her to Sadie.

"Look, Jude and I are just in a rough patch right now."

Jude could just barely make out a blonde head of hair nodding in agreement. "I figured as much. Now her sudden urge to go shopping this evening makes a little more sense."

"From what I remember, doesn't your sister hate shopping?"

"You seem to remember quite a bit about my sister now, don't you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh nothing. I just find it interesting that you bothered to remember that detail about her. That was years ago that you worked with her, Tom, and you haven't bothered keeping in touch since."

Silence passed between the pair and for a moment Jude was holding her breath. That was a good question. Why did he remember that? And as much as she didn't want to be, she was interested in the answer.

"You're making a big deal out of nothing, Sadie."

"Oh really?"

"Really! I remembered that she doesn't like shopping. Who cares?!"

"Maybe I do! Look, I'm just looking out for my sister. I just find it funny that your best friend said that you can barely remember girls' names, yet you remember a small detail about my sister from _three_ years ago!"

"Jesus, can't you just butt out?"

"Hey, you're the one that came looking for me, remember?"

She heard Tommy suck in a breath. "You're right. I did come looking for you. And there's still a reason for that."

"Which would be what?"

"Your sister just flipped out on me in the studio. Things were fine, but then I brought up "24 Hours" and she hit the roof. Care to explain what's behind her short fuse?"

Oh she _really_ hoped Sadie didn't go there. It wasn't her place to say anything to Tommy and to be quite honest, she didn't feel as though it was any of Tommy's business to begin with.

"I can't tell you. You'd have to ask Jude."

"Like she'd tell me!" he yelled in frustration.

"Well that's not my problem. Look, this is something you and Jude are going to have to work out. But, I will say this. If you're planning on bailing again—just go now. Quit while you're ahead. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work."

"Sadie—"

"Have a nice day, Tom," she said with finality.

Jude breathed a sigh of relief when she realized that Sadie really did have her back. And she loved her sister for that. She just wished everything else could be as simple as her relationship with her sister.

* * *

Tom tugged at the hairs on his head as he left the receptionist's area. He was so frustrated right now. This was one of the reasons he left to Toronto to begin with. He hated dealing with other people's problems. Hell, he could barely deal with his own half the time.

He was getting ready to walk back into the studio when he saw Johnny walking up to him.

"Tom."

"Hey. How's it going?"

"Good. Everything's going really well."

Tommy sighed and nodded. "That's great. At least somebody's having a good day," he mumbled.

"Ouch. That bad, huh?"

"You have no idea."

Johnny grew quiet and Tommy was almost positive the conversation was finished. He was actually getting ready to walk away until Johnny stopped him again.

"Well, why don't you give me an idea?"

Tommy's eyes narrowed. He had no idea why Summers was trying to be helpful, but he couldn't really afford to turn down help. The guy was Jude's producer for three years, so maybe he could finally get to the bottom of everything.

So Tommy started relaying everything that had happened that morning, including the wake-up call. Well, he _almost _relayed everything. He may have left out the "I hate you" part. "I just don't understand why she's fighting me so hard. She knows that we work well together in the studio, that we click musically, so I'm just kind of at loss as to why she flipped out on me earlier."

"Listen, Jude and I are friends. Good friends. But she never really let me in when it came to you. When I tried to ask her what she did with her old producer when I first started working here, she kept her answers short and direct, and never gave me much insight into the working relationship you two had. And I never pushed it. So I'm afraid I can't really be of much help."

"I figured," he sighed, defeated. What the hell did it take to find out information around here? He thought G-Major was supposed to be a secretless workspace. When he worked here before, everybody was in everybody's business. Now, it seemed as though people suddenly forgot how to run a freaking gossip mill.

"Sorry. Wish I could help you out more."

"It's cool. I'll get to the bottom of this eventually. Even if I have to lock that girl's ass in a room and force it out of her."

Johnny chuckled. "With Jude, you might just have to resort to that. She's pretty stubborn."

"Tell me something I don't know."

Johnny looked apprehensive before speaking and Tommy couldn't help but wonder what on earth Johnny was going to say that was causing him to have a worried look on his face. "I probably shouldn't be doing this, but Jude's throwing a going away dinner for me tonight. We're meeting at Celestin tonight at around 8:00ish. You should come."

And that would explain why Summers had looked so nervous.

As much as Tommy liked the guy, he wasn't sure that was the hottest idea. The words "I hate you" kept playing in his mind like a freaking broken record and he didn't know if he should do anything to further antagonize Jude. Showing up at her little soirée would more than likely do just that.

"I don't know…"

"I'm inviting you. I'll admit I had my reservations about you, and I still do. But you're not as bad as I originally thought. And besides, if you come, it'll give me a chance to see who I'm leaving my artist and best friend with."

"Look, as much as I'd love to come, Jude's not my biggest fan. Let's just say she's made it quite clear how she feels about me and I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate me showing up tonight."

Johnny looked sympathetic and nodded. "Well, nevertheless, I'll add an extra spot to the list just in case you change your mind. And besides, Kwest will be there, so you won't be completely hated by everyone in the room," he said with smirk.

As much as he didn't want to, he winced at Johnny's statement. If only the guy realized the truth in what he had just said.

"Ha, ha. That's funny," he said dryly.

"So what do you say? Will you come?"

Tommy sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'll think about it."

"Excellent. See you around," he said as he started leaving. "Oh. You _might_ not want to mention this to Jude. She'd probably have a coronary."

After letting out a grunt, Tommy rolled his eyes. "Remind me again why you're insisting that I come to this thing tonight, then?"

"Look, I'll handle Jude. Trust me—she won't cause a scene. Just keep your promise and think about it, alright?"

It should be so easy to just say forget it, but for some reason, he couldn't do that. He actually liked the guy and would feel bad if he gave a flat-out 'no'. He figured Toronto must be slowly turning him soft. "Okay. Deal."

Johnny nodded and headed towards Georgia's office.

Tommy made his way towards the studio again and was surprised to find Jude in there. He hadn't even noticed her slip by.

Things were instantly awkward as soon as he stepped into the room. He sighed and started gathering things together to continue their recording session and stopped dead in his tracks when he heard an, "I'm sorry," come out of nowhere.

"What?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

He nodded a few times and continued working on gathering up the chords. He wasn't going to admit to the relief that he felt wash over him she said that.

"Are you going to say anything?"

He shrugged and didn't look at her as he spoke. "I don't know what you want me to say, Jude."

"Oh I don't know—maybe an 'apology accepted' would be nice."

"Fine. Apology accepted, then. Can we get back to work?"

She sighed loudly and he heard her hands hit her leg. "I snapped, okay?! I didn't mean it!"

"And I said it's fine!" he yelled angrily. He really didn't understand this girl sometimes.

"But you don't mean it!" she countered hotly.

He turned around and glared at her. "Look, I'm just trying to figure out what the hell your deal is! We were _fine_ earlier this morning and then all of a sudden I mention _one_ song and you flip out on me!"

She shook her head and mumbled, "You don't get it."

"Obviously I don't!"

She bit her bottom lip and for the briefest of seconds, he thought she was going to break down and explain everything to him. Her mouth even opened a few times as though she were trying to start, but then she clammed up. "Let's just get back to work."

"Great. Sounds wonderful," Tommy said sarcastically.

He watched her as she walked over to get her guitar and he took that as his cue to do grab the spare that he had been using.

When she started strumming, he realized that she was still using the same pace as before and he groaned loudly.

He had a feeling this was going to be a long morning.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"So, what's going on with you and Jamie for your anniversary?" Sadie asked while perusing one of the clothes racks.

Jude shrugged. "You got me. You probably have a better idea of what's going on than I do. Hey, what do you think of this?" she asked as she picked up a plain black tank top.

Sadie cocked her head to the side and made a face. "Jude. Don't you already have that shirt in your closet?"

"No… mine has thicker straps."

"Sorry. My mistake," Sadie remarked with an eye roll.

"So I take it that's a 'no' then?"

Sadie sighed. "Jude, you're a rock goddess and you're still wearing holey jeans and tank tops."

Jude's eyes narrowed and she couldn't help but feel a little insulted by her sister's statement. "I happen to _like_ my holey jeans and tank tops, thanks."

"Yeah, they're great—for 15 year-old Jude. You need a new wardrobe, dear sister. Badly."

"My wardrobe is fine," she countered.

"Please, Jude. Let me pick out new clothes for you. They will do _amazing_ things for your figure—which, by the way, is pretty hot if you would show it off every now and then."

"Sadie—"

"At least let me pick you out something for Johnny's going-away dinner tonight." Jude could feel her face falling at the mention of 'going away'. She still couldn't quite get used to the fact that the day after tomorrow, Johnny would be in a different country. "Oh, Jude. I'm sorry. I mean—"

"No, no. It's fine. Really. That's what it is, after all. I have to get used to the fact that he's not going to be here anymore," she said sadly.

"And maybe ease up on Tommy while you're at it," Sadie mumbled under her breath. She had muffled her voice so much that Jude couldn't be one hundred percent certain of what Sadie had said. But she was nearly positive that Sadie had said to ease up on Tommy.

"What was that?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Sadie. Did you just say what I think you did?" Jude asked while she crossed her arms.

She looked guilty and avoided Jude's gaze. "Maybe."

"Good Lord—you want to make up your mind? I thought you were president of the 'I Hate Tommy Club'."

"Jude, you're driving the guy up the wall. Even _I_ have to show a little sympathy for him. Just not to his face," she replied with a smirk.

Jude gaped at her sister, shocked that she was hearing this. "You know? This whole shopping excursion was supposed to be a chance for me to get _away_ from Little Tommy Q. Not be bombarded by my own sister with requests to ease up on the dude."

She had chosen shopping to distract herself from the horrible workday she had just had. The rest of their session had not gone so smoothly, as predicted when she had asked her sister to go on this little outing. He had kept yelling at her to pick up the tempo and she had stubbornly held her ground. He'd been gone three long years, and her music had changed considerably during that time. She knew exactly what sound she wanted for her latest venture and that sound did not include the faster rhythm Quincy was so adamant about.

Johnny had stayed out of it this time when he had walked into the studio. They had been in the middle of an argument when he had walked in, and Jude actually felt kind of bad for the guy. She and Tommy had both looked at him and said at the exact same time, "Back me up."

Johnny had retreated from the studio almost as quickly as he had entered it.

Sadie interrupted her little reverie of the disastrous recording session. "I'm not saying you should be BFFs with this guy—far from it. I just think that… Jude, he came to talk to me today."

"I know," she admitted sheepishly.

"You do?"

"Yeah. I kind of dashed behind one of those large plants by the front desk when I saw that he was headed my way."

Sadie let out an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes. "Jude."

"What?! I had just told the guy I hated him. I wasn't quite ready to deal with him yet."

Sadie stared at Jude like she was insane. "You told him you hated him?! Jude—"

"Don't, Sadie. Don't start with me."

"Jude, that's a little harsh. Even for you," she said in the reprimanding tone that Jude hated. "No wonder he was looking stressed out."

"I took it back!" she exclaimed, trying to desperately to defend her actions.

"That's not something you can just take back! This isn't second grade!"

Jude started walking away from Sadie and began to make her way to the main part of the mall. She felt guilty enough for saying it in the first place and her sister's condescending tone wasn't helping. She heard Sadie following her, but didn't bother stopping. "Jude!"

"What?"

"Stop. Please."

Reluctantly, she slowed and turned around to face Sadie. "Okay, truce. If I had a handkerchief, I would wave it as a way to prove my cease-fire. No more Tommy-talk while we're on this shopping trip. I promise."

"Swear?"

Sadie got a cheeky grin on her face and Jude groaned. She knew that look all too well. "On one condition."

"I knew it," Jude remarked while rolling her eyes. She didn't need Sadie to lay down the condition. She already knew what it was. "Fine. You can pick out an outfit for me for tonight's dinner."

Sadie squealed and threw her arms around her sister. "You _won't_ be disappointed. You'll have your boyfriend panting. Poor little Jamie Andrews won't know what hit him."

At the sinister gleam in her sister's eyes, Jude was beginning to re-think this whole outfit thing.

* * *

"I'm not wearing this, Sadie."

"You look hot Jude. Relax."

"I look… I look… I don't look like me!" Jude yelled back anxiously.

"Exactly. Guys will be turning their heads and running into walls because they're paying more attention to _you_ than to walking."

Jude looked at herself in the mirror and couldn't help but wonder if maybe her sister was right. She was wearing a black, halter style dress that left most of her back bare and hugged her figure while showing off the length of her legs. She also wore matching black stilettos, along with some silver jewelry that complemented the dress.

Her hair was down in loose curls and Sadie was standing behind her smiling proudly. "You look amazing."

Jude bit her bottom lip and felt butterflies in her stomach. She almost never got dressed up like this unless it was for a fancy work function.

She was getting ready to say something to Sadie when her phone rang. She looked at the picture staring back at her and smiled. "Jamie. Hey."

"Hey. How's my number one rockstar?"

"Uh… let me get back to you on that."

"Oh, I really wish you wouldn't have said that."

Jude's eyes narrowed and she didn't have a good feeling about the tone in his voice. "Why? What's up?"

Jamie paused and let out a reluctant sigh. "Because that just makes what I'm about to tell you that much crappier."

"Jamie…"

"I can't make it to the dinner," he said apprehensively. "I'm sorry. Please don't be mad."

"Mad? Oh I'm not mad," she fumed. "I'm _pissed_! This whole thing was _your_ idea!"

"Jude I'm sorry, but let me—"

"You know what? Save it. I don't even care." She hung up and angrily threw the phone on the couch as she let out a frustrated scream.

"Trouble in paradise, I take it?" Sadie asked.

"He's just so… ugh!" she remarked while making a strangling gesture. "This whole get-together was_ his_ idea and now he's not even coming!"

"Jude, I'm sorry."

She sighed and shook her head. "Don't be. It's not your fault my boyfriend's a jackass. Let's just go."

She grabbed her phone off the couch and stuffed it into her small purse, then grabbed her jacket. Sadie was hastily following and quickly shut the door behind them once they were outside.

"Are you sure you still want to go, Jude?"

"This is Johnny's going-away dinner. Just because my boyfriend isn't going doesn't mean the whole thing has to be canceled," she said hotly.

"But, you're pretty upset right now. Are you—?"

"Let's go."

"Okay, then. We're going."

She slipped into the car, feeling rather perturbed, watching as Sadie got into the driver's side of the car. "Why does he do this? Why does he always do this, Sades?"

Sadie sighed and looked over at Jude as she smoothed out her sister's hair, trying to offer some comfort. "I don't know, kiddo. But we're gonna have fun, yeah?"

"Sure. Whatever."

"Jude—it's Johnny. He's been your best friend for the last three years. Try and cheer up for him, okay?"

Jude took a deep breath and nodded. "You're right. I'm not letting my boyfriend ruin this tonight. We're gonna go to that restaurant and have a fabulous time… without Jamie."

"That a girl. Maybe you'll luck out and they'll have a dartboard there. You can imagine Jamie's face in the bull's-eye"

Jude let out a laugh that ended up sounding more like a bark. She could always count on her sister to make her laugh. "I highly doubt that Celestin is going to have a dartboard."

Sadie shrugged. "Oh well. We can go to a club afterward. The bar section is bound to have darts," she smirked.

Jude smiled and shook her head, feeling so grateful to have Sadie in her life. It was moments like this that made Jude really appreciate the fact that she had a big sister like her.

The rest of the drive to the restaurant was spent making fun of Jamie and all the stupid things he'd done over the years. Sadie always made sure to point out some of his biggest flaws and blunders and by the time they got to the restaurant, she and Sadie were laughing so hard that her bad mood was nearly forgotten.

And that fact remained true until the maître d' seated them at their table.

When they got into the main part of the restaurant, she could feel her jaw dropping when she saw Tom Quincy sitting a seat away from Johnny and laughing.

Johnny looked up and when he saw Jude, his eyes widened. He immediately stood up and rushed over to her and greeted her with a kiss on the cheek. "Hi, babe."

"Hi," she replied as she crossed her arms.

"I invited him. Please be nice."

She cocked her head to the side and stared at him as though he had grown a second head. "You… you invited him?"

"I'm sorry. Just please be good? For me?"

Jude plastered on a fake smile and nodded. "Tonight's your night. I promise I'll behave."

Johnny smiled widely and hugged her. "Good. And I saved you the best seat at the table."

"Oh really? And where would that be?"

"Right next to me."

Jude looked around the table and her eyes widened once again. There were only two spots left. The head of the table, which was obviously reserved for him, and then the seat to the right of him… which left her to sit next to Tommy.

She returned the fake smile to her face. "I'm so excited."

Johnny leaned in and whispered in her ear, "I'm sorry. I didn't plan it this way. That was the only seat left when he got here. Kwest was reserving the seat next to him for your sister."

"It's fine. Just, let me go check my coat in and I'll be back," she replied as she kissed him on the cheek.

Really, she just needed a moment to collect herself. As she walked away to check in her jacket, she took a deep breath and tried calming herself.

It was fine. It didn't matter if she had to sit next to Tommy for an entire evening. She could suck it up. This night was all about Johnny.

She kept repeating that to herself over and over, trying to get it through her head. She needed to be good and not flip out over the fact that Tom Quincy was here.

She turned back around and started walking reluctantly back to the table. "All about Johnny, all about Johnny, all about—"

Her mantra was cut short when she ran into something hard. She looked up to see what she had hit. Or rather who.

"Tommy."

* * *

Tommy had a hard time believing that the girl standing in front of him was the same girl that he had had a disastrous studio session with mere hours ago.

The last time he saw her, she had been wearing her normal ensemble of ripped jeans and a vintage t-shirt. So much had changed since he'd gotten back to Toronto, but when he saw her in the studio for the first time in three years, it was evident that one thing _hadn't_ changed since he'd been gone. Her style.

However, this girl didn't look anything like the one from the studio.

She looked… hot. She looked like the girls that he was used to dating, if you could call what he did dating. And he wasn't sure how he felt about that. Hell, the last time he had worked with Jude, she'd been 15, clearly off limits to him so it was easier to keep himself away from her. But she wasn't 15 anymore; she was legal and he couldn't seem to stop that thought from running through his brain at the moment.

Actually, he was having a hard time thinking at all with her dressed like that. It was driving him crazy.

But that was not something she could know. So he tried to pull it together quickly so he didn't make it seem as though he wanted to pull her into the nearest bathroom and ravish her.

He peeked over her shoulder and noticed that her back was essentially bare and grinned cheekily at her. "Uh, I think they forgot to sew on the back of your dress, Harrison."

"That's funny," she said dryly.

Suddenly, his face turned serious. "Look, I just wanted to, uh, clear the air a bit. I almost didn't come, but Johnny twisted my arm," he admitted.

She smiled and nodded. "He has a way of doing that."

"That he does. So what do you say? Can we at least _try_ to get along tonight? For his sake?"

She rolled her eyes. "Slow your rolls, Quincy. I already promised Johnny that I'd be on my best behavior, so you're safe."

"Well thanks very much," he said as he mirrored her eye roll. He held his left arm out and motioned for her to link her arm through his. "Shall we?" She looked so reluctant and he couldn't help but laugh a little at the look on her face. He leaned into her ear and whispered, "I showered. I promise I don't smell bad."

She smiled a little bit and sniffed the air. "Not too bad, anyway," she said as she linked her arm through his.

He swallowed nervously and tried to shake it off. "Well, 'too bad' isn't bad. I'll take it, I guess," he smirked.

As they walked back to the table, he tried not to focus on the fact that their arms linked together felt good. That it felt right. Because it wasn't right.

It was the farthest thing from being right.

And he had to keep telling himself that. He was imagining it. That's all there was too it.

He pulled the chair out for Jude and she looked like she was getting ready to argue, so he leaned in and said, "Remember what we talked about."

She glared at him, but nodded and accepted the offer, sliding gracefully into her chair. "Thanks, Quincy."

"You're welcome," he said as he sat in his own seat.

"Whoa, Major Dude—you're a Major Dudette!" Spiederman exclaimed.

Instead of the glare he had been expecting, Jude simply laughed and shook her head. "Always the observant one, Vin."

"Sorry. It's just… you look hot!" he said unashamedly.

There was something odd stirring in the pit of his stomach at Spiederman's declaration. It was an emotion he couldn't quite place. But, there was an emotion that he _could_ focus on—anger. Spiederman should not be saying stuff like that about Jude, even if it was true. Even if he, himself, was thinking the exact same thing. Luckily, he was sitting next to the guitar dork, so he hit him upside the head and as he did so, Karma got the other side of his head. "Ow! What'd I say?"

Tommy let out a low chuckle as Karma rolled her eyes and looked away from Spiederman, obviously angry. The guitarist quickly realized his predicament and tried consoling the ever-moody Karma. "Honey-bun, come on. You know you're my number one lady."

Jude grinned at Tommy and made a gagging gesture and he couldn't help but laugh. When Karma got up and left the table, Spiederman quickly followed and the entire table, which consisted of himself, Jude, Johnny, Sadie, Kwest, Georgia, EJ, Wally, and Kyle, started laughing at the couple's antics.

After the moment was over, Jude turned back to Johnny, and as she leaned forward in her seat, he got a clear view of her backside. He silently cursed at himself; he shouldn't be noticing her bare back. And there were many reasons why.

Reason number one, she was off-limits. Apparently she had a boyfriend.

Reason two, again, off-limits. She was his artist. He wouldn't allow himself to go there with her, not if he wanted to keep his job—which he did.

And reason three, things could get messy if he didn't control himself. According to his best friend and his best friend's girlfriend, this girl had been through 'a lot'. Whatever that meant.

And there was also the fact that he had a rather messy past that was currently tying up his present. He shook his head and clenched his fists, angry that he had allowed his mind to wander back to his past for even the briefest of seconds. He was _done_ with that.

"You alright, Tommy?" Jude asked out of nowhere.

He looked at her in surprise and nodded. "Yeah. I'm great. Why wouldn't I be?"

She smiled and motioned to his clenched fists. "Maybe because your knuckles are turning white?"

He immediately loosened his hands and forced them to stay that way.

"I'm good."

"If you say so," she said as she turned back to Johnny.

Once again, as she turned back around, her extremely bare back was staring him in the face, taunting him. Christ, was he ever going to catch a break?

Finally, after Karma and Spiederman returned, the waiter came to start taking their drink orders. "What can I get for you, sir?" he asked as he got to Tommy.

"Most expensive beer you've got."

The waiter nodded and continued collecting orders. Tommy muttered under his breath, "Lots and lots of beer." He had a feeling he was going to need all the help he could get tonight.


	10. Chapter 9

Hello!

This chapter is the heart of the dinner scene. I put a lot of time into this chapter; it actually came out to be about 20 pages in Word. A lot is happening during this chapter, so I hope you all enjoy it. It's a nice, drama-filled chapter. Please comment!

* * *

**Chapter 9**

"So I see you and Quincy are getting along tonight," Johnny mused.

Jude sighed and nodded. "I told you I would behave and I'm going to."

"Thanks. And really, you just might come to find that he's not a bad guy," he whispered.

"I seem to be getting a lot of requests to ease up on Tommy," Jude mumbled, trying to keep Tommy from overhearing their conversation.

"And did you ever think that maybe you should? The guy's going to be your producer. You're going to be in close quarters with him all the time. Really, it's something you should think about."

She sighed and stole a glance at Tommy, who was now leaning across the table, deep in conversation with Kwest. Looking away quickly and re-focusing her attention on Johnny, she reflected on how often she _had_ considered just letting herself go and giving Tommy a break.

But something about that idea always seemed a little dangerous to her. She let herself go around him once—was she willing to do it again? She honestly didn't know if she could. She was trying, though.

"You think I haven't thought about it?" she whispered. "He—"

Her comment was cut short with the waiter returning with their drinks. She heard Tommy say, "Thank you" and gave him a reproachful look as he began to practically chug the beverage.

"Uh, Tommy?"

"What? I'm thirsty," he said dismissively.

"You're not supposed to chug alcohol, Tommy," she said through clenched teeth.

"Thanks, Mom. But I know how to handle my liquor. Besides, it's my first one—I'm not going to get plastered from drinking one beer. Simmer down." She didn't have a chance to say much on the matter because the waiter started taking their orders. After Tommy placed his, he then got the waiter's attention again. "Oh, and I'll probably need another beer by the time you come back with dinner." The waiter nodded. "Thank you."

Jude narrowed her eyes and looked away. She heard Tommy sigh and the next thing she knew, her head was being turned his way. She could feel his guitar calluses and she shivered at the unexpected texture. His hands felt so much different than what she had expected. They were rough, yet gentle at the same time.

He tilted his head to the side and smiled. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be a jackass about it. I appreciate your concern, though. Thank you."

Despite herself, Jude felt herself smiling and she simply rolled her eyes and playfully pushed his hands away. Before she turned back around to talk to Johnny, though, she briefly caught a glimpse of Tommy's smile widening as he slouched back in his chair.

When she turned to face Johnny, he had a smirk on his face that Jude couldn't quite depict the meaning of. "What?"

He shook his head, smirk still in place. "Nothing," he said as he took a drink of wine.

"You have a look," she accused as she finally placed the possible meaning of his smirk.

"What look?"

"The 'I'm thinking something but don't want to tell you' look. Out with it."

"You know me too well," he complained.

"After three years of working with you, I should hope so," she remarked with a wide grin.

He sighed and leaned forward, "So I saw you and Quincy were flirting a little bit right there. What's up with that?"

Her eyes widened and for a moment, she could only stare in shock. When Johnny started chuckling, the shock wore off a bit and she snapped out of it, trying desperately to feign dumb. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh please. The whole 'head-turn' thing, you two making smiley faces at each other… what's going on in your head, Jude Harrison?"

"Nothing! Absolutely nothing!" she said quickly.

He laughed. "Methinks she protests too much."

"Oh stop it. That was nothing. We're just finally not at each other's throats! I thought that's what you wanted!" she demanded in a low, agitated voice.

"It is. But—"

"But nothing. I have a boyfriend, remember?"

Inwardly, she cringed. She hadn't thought about Jamie once since she stepped into the restaurant. That was a not a good sign…

Johnny smirked and nodded. "Oh I remember. I was just beginning to wonder if _you_ remembered. And judging by the look on your face, I'll wager to guess that you didn't."

"I'm not talking about this," she said firmly.

"And that honestly doesn't surprise me, Jude."

She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "Johnny—this is your last night here. Let's make it fun, please?"

He rolled his eyes and nodded while rubbing his thumb lightly against her cheek. She smiled as he started speaking. "You got it, babe," he said as he leaned in to kiss her cheek.

Feeling more relaxed, she turned away from Johnny and started chatting with Sadie, failing to notice Tommy's lingering gaze…

* * *

Tommy forced his eyes away from Jude. This was getting so out of hand and so ridiculous. He needed to exert better control over himself.

The atmosphere was beginning to feel slightly suffocating to him and he knew he needed to get away from it all just for a little bit. "Excuse me," he mumbled.

He made a mad dash for the bathroom and once he got there, he placed both hands on the sink in front of him and leaned forward, letting out a deep breath. "Get it together, Quincy." He turned on the cold water and splashed his face, reveling in the feeling of the cool water against his skin. It really was refreshing and just what he needed.

He was getting ready to walk back out when he saw Kwest entering the bathroom shaking his head. "What's with you, man?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said stubbornly, even though he knew very well what his best friend was talking about.

"Bullshit. You know damn well what I'm talking about. And you need to be careful," he chided. "I won't watch you hurt that girl back there."

"Again, I don't know what you're talking about."

"You think I'm blind? We all saw that little bit of flirting between you and Jude. You're showing all the classics signs of wanting to jump that girl's bones. And don't think I didn't notice you smack Spied upside the head when he called Jude 'hot'."

Tommy groaned and glared at Kwest. "I'm not even hearing this."

"Yes, you're going to hear it. I'll say it again—you need to be careful. You never know when it will all come back to bite you," he said sympathetically.

Tommy watched Kwest walk out of the bathroom and cursed under his breath. This was not going well.

He glared at the wall and swiftly punched it, wincing in pain. He shook his hand out, watching the red, angry marks beginning to form on his knuckles.

Well, at least he could agree with Kwest on one thing—he really did need to be more careful.

And as he was walking out of the bathroom and resigning himself to no more accidental flirting incidents, he saw her laughing. She was engaged in a conversation with Sadie and Johnny and she looked completely happy. A small smile began forming on his lips as he allowed himself to just watch her for a moment longer.

For the first time since he'd been back, he let himself really look at her. She looked nothing like the teenager he remembered. She looked like an adult now, which was something he was having a hard time coming to grips with. And while he would admit that he missed the fiery red hair, blonde also suited her.

He snapped himself out of it and began making his way back towards the table.

He watched as she stiffened slightly as he sat back down and sighed. He also didn't fail to notice her scoot a little further away before he sat down. She didn't make a big deal out of it—in fact, any normal passerby would assume she was simply making room for him to get into his seat. But he knew better.

When he looked away, he saw Kwest giving him a reprimanding glare, reminding him of the conversation they had had in the bathroom.

Tommy merely rolled his eyes, ignoring his best friend, and took a drink of his beer.

Georgia was sitting next to Kwest and noticed the exchange between the two of them. She leaned over towards him. "What's up with you two?"

Tommy ignored her and continued drinking his beer. As far as he was concerned, Georgia was still on his shit list. That was one of the reasons he hadn't stopped by her office since he'd been back. Even though he technically should have since he had already started working again. "Uh, guys. Either of you want to answer me?"

Kwest was getting ready to tell her when Tommy stopped him. "Not really, no."

Some of the conversation at the table died down and he felt various pairs of eyes zeroing in on the three of them. Nobody said anything as Georgia looked away, leaning back in her seat.

Sadie cleared her throat and tried starting some mindless chit-chat again. "So, Johnny. What are your plans when you get to L.A.?"

Johnny glanced warily between Tommy and Kwest but then turned his full attention to Sadie. "Uh, just unpacking. And sleeping. I won't have much time to do that once I start working at Riptide. They've got me on a full schedule already."

"Well, you should check out the club scene when you get settled in, man. It's amazing," Tommy interjected.

Johnny smiled and nodded. "I think I'll do that. Any recommendations?"

"Not off the top of my head, nah."

"Well you'll have to get in contact with me and give me a head's up when you do remember. I love the club scene," he said, smiling.

Jude started laughing. "That's an understatement! Last month, Johnny went to clubs every single night for almost two weeks straight. The dumb-ass came into work with hangovers nearly every morning."

Kwest joined in on the trip down memory lane and also started chuckling. "Oh man, that was a crazy two weeks. You should have seen the guy, Tommy. He can give you a run for your money when it comes to putting down shots."

Tommy smiled and shook his head. "I have a hard time believing _that_ one."

Jude matched his smile as she turned to look at him. "I don't know. This guy over here is a lush when he wants to be."

"Love you too, Jude," he replied with a frown.

"Aw, JJ—don't be like that. You know I've got nothin' but loooove for you," she said, smiling.

As he watched the two of them interact, he couldn't help but feel jealous—like an outsider. They seemed to really get each other and connect in such a way that it seemed almost impossible to him that they'd ever reach that same level of comfort.

Suddenly, Johnny interrupted his thoughts with a wide smile. "Anyway, enough about me. I say it's time we change the conversation up a little bit. Tell me, how'd you manage to find your way back to Toronto after all this time away?" Johnny inquired.

Of course—the guy had to ask the one question he was hoping he could avoid. It's not exactly like he could tell them all the truth, which was pretty embarrassing. So, in true Quincy nature, he turned to Georgia, finding somebody else to pick up the heat. She was the one that thought it was such a grand idea for him to come back, so _she_ could answer.

"Well, that's an interesting question. Why don't you ask Georgia? I'm sure she'd tell you."

"Tom—" she warned, but he cut her off.

"Because really… I'm quite interested in the answer to that myself. Because I sure as hell didn't volunteer for the job."

Silence engulfed the entire table and he realized just how big of a jackass he was. He shut his eyes, immediately overwhelmed with regret. The old saying "think before you speak" played in his mind. He should not have said that—especially not in front of Jude.

"Jude—"

"Excuse me," she replied as she set her napkin down on the table.

He watched helplessly as she walked briskly out of the room. He was so tempted to follow her, but he had a feeling she needed her space. At least for now.

He had no idea how he was going to make up for that one. Knowing his luck, he'd probably be doing a lifetime of penance for it. So much for getting along tonight.

* * *

The entire table remained silent as they watched Jude's retreating form. The tension seemed to have increased ten-fold. And he had only his stupid big mouth to blame for it all.

Sadie was casting him a menacing glare and Kwest was shaking his head as though he was expecting Tom to screw up the evening eventually. Just great. Freaking brilliant. He'd really out-done himself this time.

This was just another thing to add to the list of Quincy screw-ups.

He loosened his tie as he felt the tension getting to him.

Nobody seemed to be able to manage to say anything as the waiters arrived with their meals. He felt his stomach churning at the sight of it all. The very thought of food was more than a little off-putting to him at the moment.

As people began to shove food around on their plates, Wally made a poor attempt at breaking the ice. "So, did I ever tell you all about the time that Kyle shoved one of his drum sticks up his nose?" Everybody turned to look at him and the poor guy looked so uncomfortable that Tommy wanted to laugh, but thought it would be in bad taste to do so. Wally shrugged and looked down at his plate again. "What? I was just trying to lighten the mood."

Tommy sighed and looked over at Johnny. "I'm sorry. That was out of line and I shouldn't have said it," he admitted quietly.

"No, you shouldn't have. But what's done is done. No sense in dwelling on the past. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go check on Jude," he replied as he got up from his seat.

After Johnny left, Kwest motioned for Tommy to talk to him in private. He sighed, but followed nonetheless. He wasn't too keen on the idea of causing another scene tonight.

As soon as they were well out of earshot, Kwest laid into him. Not that he was expecting anything different. He could always count on Kwest to make him feel like an even bigger ass. "What the hell were you thinking?"

Tommy gritted his teeth and shook his head. "Look, I feel bad enough as it is. I don't need a lecture from you on top of everything else."

"Well you're gonna get one anyway. So deal with it." Kwest started pacing and then just as quickly as he started moving back and forth, he stopped and let out an exasperated sigh. "I told you to be careful—not be an ass!"

Maybe he should tell Kwest the truth behind that statement he made earlier. It was eating him up and he hated that Jude thought his words were directed at her. Because they weren't.

"I wasn't thinking about Jude when I said that," he offered quietly.

Kwest's head snapped up in surprise. "What?"

He sighed and nodded. "I was talking about producing in general. Kwest man, you know I would never volunteer to be a producer now." He paused and took a moment to see that at least his best friend understood where he was coming from. The look on Kwest's face was enough for Tommy to know that he understood. "I… That comment had nothing to do with Jude."

He nodded. "I understand. But _she_ doesn't. You need to explain that to her. Quickly."

"Yeah I know. And I will. If I can get her to listen to me."

Kwest let out a soft whistle. "Good luck with that. You'll have your work cut out for you. That's for sure."

"Tell me about it."

Silence passed and Tommy felt oddly at ease, considering the situation he had just gotten himself into. He was very grateful to have Kwest here—at least he had one friendly person on his side after the fiasco tonight.

"So this whole producing thing. You were serious when you said you never wanted to produce another artist again?"

Tommy let out a shaky breath and ran a hand through his hair. This was a conversation he knew he'd end up having with Kwest eventually. "Kind of. It's just too hard to get that invested with somebody. That's why I've been sticking to producing my own stuff."

"Hey I get it. It can be hard—especially when you have temperamental artists to work with. But T, you're good at producing. You always seem to have knack for connecting with your artists, which is rather ironic if you ask me."

"Ha, ha. That's funny."

Kwest smiled. "I'm serious, man. It's time you dealt with everything."

Tommy nodded his head and stuck his hands in his pockets. "I know. But it's kind of hard, considering the circumstances."

"Ah, still no word, huh?"

"Not a thing. And it's damn frustrating! I just want to put it all behind me and have it dealt with, but it's like the fates are against me or something."

"Well it's time to get the 'fates', as you like to call them, back on your side. Take matters into your own hands and stop wallowing in self-pity. Because whether you realize it or not, your inability to deal with shit affects more people than just yourself."

"Nice pep-talk."

"Please, that wasn't supposed to be a pep-talk. My pep-talks are damn moving and that was just mediocre."

Tommy laughed and nodded. "Well, I guess I'm going to have to start taking matters into my own hands. And the first thing I need to do is find Jude."

* * *

After Johnny had left, with her reassurance that she was fine, Jude decided to take a walk. She needed to get away from that building, even if it was just for a little bit.

As she walked down the sidewalk, she realized that she really shouldn't have let Tommy's statement cut her so deeply. She'd known from day one that he didn't want to be there—he'd told her himself. So why did she feel so bothered by his little outburst?

Johnny had mentioned that he'd looked like he felt really guilty, and advised that she go easy on him, but quite honestly, she didn't feel as though he deserved it. Even though, according to Johnny, Tommy had apologized for the remark and sounded sincere, he had broken their truce for the night in the worst possible way. He had completely embarrassed her in front of her friends and she felt so ridiculous for letting it show that he had gotten under her skin the way that he had.

She couldn't afford to be that careless around him again. What should it matter what he thought of her? She didn't care—well, not that much anyway.

A sudden gust of cold air caused her to shiver; she began to wish she'd had the foresight to bring a jacket. In her haste to get out of the restaurant, she completely neglected that little detail. She rubbed her arms and decided to suck it up and head back to Celestin. She was a big girl; she could deal with it.

As she looked around, she felt slightly wigged out. There wasn't a soul in sight. And she hadn't even realized that the lighting had become less and less. How far had she wandered off?

She looked at one of the street signs and felt her eyes widen. _Shit. This is not good._ "Okay, Jude. Don't panic. Just walk _really_ fast," she mumbled to herself. She had walked to a really bad side of town without even realizing it. She had forgotten that the restaurant wasn't in an ideal location, despite its high prices. Ugh, she should have walked to the left instead of the right.

When she started to walk back to the restaurant, a tall, dark, medium-built guy sporting a leather jacket, came out of the shadows. He looked terrifying. To her anyway. When he started walking closer, she noticed a dangerous glint in his eyes that sent shivers down her spine. Only then did she realize how she was dressed.

She bit her lip and picked up her pace, trying to get by him without making it seem obvious that she was scared shitless. She heard guys like that could smell fear, though she'd never been sure of the truth in that statement. There was one thing for sure: she wasn't willing to test it out right now.

She felt relief pool in her stomach as the familiar building came into view and she began to see more streetlights up ahead. But her 'companion' was faster than her—he cut her off and stepped in front of her.

"You know something? A pretty girl like you shouldn't be out here all alone," he said as he started walking closer to her. "Let me walk you back to wherever you were headed."

"No, thank you. That's okay," she said, her voice shaky. She tried to get by him again, but he cut her off once more.

"Are you sure?" As he questioned her, his fingers made a light trail down her arm and fear pulsed through her body as she swatted his arm away.

"I'm sure."

She tried walking away, but he grabbed her by the elbow and pulled her to him. As she turned her head away, he moved to brush a piece of hair away. She felt paralyzed; she couldn't move, she couldn't breath.

He smiled, but there was no warmth in his smile at all. "You _really_ shouldn't have come out here all by yourself."

Finally snapping out of her fear somewhat, she tried yanking her arm out from his grasp, but he had an iron-clad grip on her. She tried looking at him with defiance, but at the hungry look in his eyes, she knew her threat was going to fall on deaf ears. "I'll scream if you don't get off of me."

The man let out a laugh that sent chills down her spin. "Look around you, _Jude_. There's no one around."

Her eyes widened. She could easily brush it off as her being famous, but there was something about the way this man said her name. He said it in such a familiar way that she was certain he knew who she was in more than just the fact that she was a celebrity.

"How did you—?"

"I'm hurt, Jude. You don't recognize me?"

She swallowed nervously. "Should I?" She wasn't sure if she _wanted_ to recognize him.

"Think back. I'm sure you'd be able to remember if you tried hard enough."

She shook her head fervently. She wasn't going to try. She didn't want to know this man. "I'm sorry, I don't. Please, let me go," she whispered.

She felt a tear escape her eye and she hated herself for being so weak. She should be running away from this guy, not giving into her fear of him.

In that moment she made a decision. She wasn't going to let him have any control over her. She looked down at her feet and realized suddenly that she was wearing weapons. Without allowing him time to discover what she'd just realized, she lifted her foot and stomped down on his foot with her spiked heel.

He screamed out in pain and she used the opportunity to try and get away, but it was harder to run in heels than she had thought. The damn movies make it look so easy.

She tripped on one of the cracks in the sidewalk and felt the wind get knocked out of her. As she lay on the sidewalk, she felt a daze overcoming her. She let out a small cough and winced in pain. She could hear her attacker's footsteps gaining on her. Apparently _his_ pain hadn't been bad enough to slow him down much. Damn it.

She forced herself up and looked backwards, seeing him walking briskly towards her. As she started to run away again, he grabbed her and pulled her to his chest. "Let me go," she yelled.

Relief filtered through every fiber of her being when she noticed Tommy walking towards them. She hadn't even seen him come out of the restaurant. There had been no signs of movement anywhere, but she was grateful, nonetheless.

"You heard the lady. She said to let go," he said in a dangerously low voice.

As Jude allowed herself to get a good look at him, she noted that he looked deathly serious; if she didn't know who he was, she would have been absolutely terrified of him. Hell, scratch that—she _was_ terrified of him. He looked completely unfamiliar to her as he moved quickly towards them with his fists clenched, ready to start throwing punches if need-be. He was standing under one of the streetlights and she noticed that his eyes had turned dark, almost black.

She felt the man's grip loosening on her and she saw him leaning in to whisper in her ear. "It was nice seeing you again, Jude. We should do this again sometime," he replied as he shoved her forward, right into Tommy.

Without missing a beat, Tommy caught her by her waist. She grabbed onto his arms and pulled herself into an upright position. As she looked up at Tommy, she quickly noted by the cold expression on his face that he was still in dangerous mode. He started to move forward, obviously making a move to go after the guy, but she stopped him. He looked down at her, trying to calm himself. "Tommy, don't. It's not worth it. Let's just go."

"Man, I used to wipe the floor with punks like that," he mumbled under his breath. "Are you okay?" he asked softly.

As she continued staring at him, she was amazed at how quickly he transformed from the dangerous, scary guy, to the guy that was standing in front of her now. His eyes had softened, had almost returned back to their normal color, and the way he was looking at her caused her stomach to do odd, but not unpleasant, things.

She managed a brief nod, but that apparently didn't satisfy him. "Are you sure?"

"I'm fine, thanks to you. He would have—"

He shook his head, cutting her off. "Don't think about that, okay? Let's just get you back inside where it's safe."

"No arguments here," she mumbled.

He grinned, "Oh, there's a first." She playfully punched him in the side of his stomach and he feigned injury. "Ouch. That hurt," he said sarcastically.

She laughed a little and smiled up at him as they continued walking. She was thankful for his attempt to lighten things up and make her forget about what had just happened. It was something she'd rather not remember. All the possibilities as to what could have happened if he hadn't shown up would only drive her crazy. "Seriously. Thank you. You're like my knight in shining armor or something."

"I don't know about that," he said softly as he promptly avoided her gaze.

Confusion marred her features. "What are you talking about?"

He sighed. "Jude about before, I didn't mean—"

"Hey. It's forgotten," she said smiling sincerely at him. "Look, what do you say we call a _real_ truce? I promise I'll try not to be so stubborn and listen to your feedback."

He grinned again and nodded. "Deal. Sounds good to me," he said as he started walking away. When he noticed that she wasn't following, he turned back around. "Aren't you coming?"

"Uh, Tommy?"

"What?"

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he lied, a smirk forming at the corner of his mouth.

"Tommy—I promised I wouldn't be so stubborn and that I'd listen to you more often, now what about you?"

He shrugged. "I don't have anything I need to work on," he said smugly.

"Oh please," she groaned. "How about how overbearing you are, or your perfectionist idiosyncrasies, or—"

"Okay, okay. I give. I'll ease up, more, too. Deal?"

She smiled and stuck out her hand for him to shake. "Deal."

As he shook her hand, a weight felt like it had been lifted from her shoulders. Maybe they could get past everything and move on from their past after all.

* * *

When they got inside of the restaurant, Jude looked up at Tommy. "Can you take me home?" she asked, nervous.

He looked at her in shock. "Uh, are you sure?"

Jude nodded quickly. "More than. I just don't want to go back in there and deal with everybody right now. Please?"

He hesitantly nodded. "Sure thing, Harrison. I'll get your coat and I'll pull my car up while you say goodbye. I'm sure I won't be missed," he said with small smile.

"Tommy—"

"Don't worry about it. I'll be doing tons of penance after tonight's fiasco. You just go say bye to everyone, okay?"

"Sure."

Jude watched as he turned to walk away, not understanding a thing about that man. It was amazing to her that in such a short amount of time, she let her opinion change about him. She had gone from being determined not to let herself open up to him again, to being so thankful he was around.

She didn't really want to think about what would have happened if he hadn't shown up when he did. But it was as if her mind was on autopilot and took her down that path against her will…

She couldn't stop her mind from focusing on the clear fact that her attacker knew her. But why didn't _she_ know _him_? The way he said her name, she was almost certain that he knew her on a familiar level; why else would he tell her to think back to try and remember him? Clearly she was missing something.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and jumped, feeling scared out of her wits. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw who it was. "Tommy. Probably not the best idea to sneak up on me like that."

"I called your name like five times and you didn't answer me."

"You did?"

"Yeah," he said as he nodded.

"Oh. I didn't hear you," she offered stupidly. She didn't realize how lost in thought she had been in.

"Obviously." He was frowning, his face basked in concern. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Mhm. I'm fine. What did you need?"

His eyes still skeptical, he reluctantly answered her. She could tell right away that he didn't believe her. "Well, I saw that you hadn't gone back to the table yet and I was just coming to tell you that I had your jacket and was leaving to go get my car. Jude—"

She decided to cut him off before he had another chance to ask if she was okay. She knew that's where that sentence was headed and she wanted to get a few things straight with him.

"I'm fine. Look, I already have enough people hovering over me and treating me like I'm about to break any second. I don't need it from you, too, okay? I can handle myself."

If she didn't know any better, she could have sworn she saw a glimmer of hurt grace his features at her harsh words. She felt bad about it, but she was so damn tired of everybody treating her like she should be handled with care.

He nodded and started to walk away, but she grabbed him by the shoulder and stopped him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I swear, everything I say around you comes out wrong." He turned around and she noted that a hint of amusement now graced his features and she could feel her face turning red. She hated feeling so flustered.

She took a deep breath and tried again. "You have no idea how relieved I was to see you out there. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it."

"I just happened to be in the right place at the right time," he said, shrugging off her gratitude.

"Don't. You were there when I needed you to be and that means everything to me." She sighed when he didn't say anything. "Just let me go say goodbye and I'll meet you outside, okay?"

A simple nod was her only response and she groaned in frustration before making her way back to the table. When she got there, she noted that everyone was engaged in quiet chatter, seemingly enjoying their meals.

Johnny saw her and smiled, but as she began to make her way over to him, it faltered. He leaned in and whispered in her ear. If she knew Johnny as well as she thought she did, that look meant he automatically suspected that something was wrong. "What's going on? Why were you gone so long?"

"I just went for a walk, that's all," she said with an insincere smile on her face. She hated lying to him, but she didn't want to tell him the truth, either.

He studied her and she felt herself fidgeting under his intense stare. "You're lying," he said with certainty.

Her head snapped up and she tried to look repulsed by the idea. "I am not," she said indignantly.

"Liar, liar, pants on fire. You're hiding something from me. What is it?"

She sighed. He would never be able to handle the truth if he knew what was really going on. Just the _idea _of lying to him made her stomach churn, but she didn't have much of a choice. "It's nothing. I promise. I just need to get home, okay?"

"Why? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Everything's great. I'm just starting to feel really tired all of a sudden." She smiled and shook her head as she let out a low chuckle. "Getting up at 4:30 in the morning will do that to you, I guess."

"Okay," he said hesitantly. "Do you need a ride?"

She shook her head, still smiling. "Nope. I'm catching a ride home with Tommy."

Shock lit up his face and she felt like laughing at the sight. "Are we talking about the same Tommy that just made you walk out on dinner?"

"Yep. Same one. Look, he's waiting for me. I've gotta run. But I'll see you tomorrow. I promise," she said as she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

"Yeah. Sure," he said, obviously still a little wary. "Call me when you get home, okay?"

"Will do, babe. See you later." As she headed out of the room, she looked over her shoulder and yelled back to the table, "Bye guys," and was greeted with an echoed mumble of goodbyes.

She hurriedly made her way outside and saw the Viper waiting with Tommy leaning against the passenger door. He grinned. "So I see you made it out of there alive."

"Just barely. You gonna open that for me?" she asked with a smile on her face.

"Maybe," he said as he blocked the door.

"Maybe?"

"Maybe. What's in it for me?"

She rolled her eyes and chuckled. "The knowledge that you were almost the perfect gentlemen tonight?"

He started laughing and nodded. "Touché," he said as he moved aside, holding her door open.

She climbed inside and heard him ask, "Are you in?"

Smile still plastered on her face, she nodded. "Yup."

When he got into the driver's side of the car, he glanced over and she noticed a devilish smirk forming on his lips. She glanced warily at him. "What?"

"I've got a surprise for you."

"You're not taking me home then?"

He shook his head as he put the car in drive. "Nope. That alright with you?" When she didn't answer, she heard him let out an exasperated sigh. "Is it really gonna kill you to be alone with me?"

"No, I just—"

"Then what's the problem? Do you trust me?"

She glanced at him, shocked by the question. She really didn't know how to answer that. With her life, of course she trusted him. He proved tonight that he wouldn't let anything happen to her if he could help it. But as far as any other kind of trust goes, she wasn't so sure about. She sighed. "I guess."

He rolled his eyes and focused his attention on the road. "Well then, I _guess_ I'll have to take what I can get."

"Where are we going?"

He shook his head stubbornly. "Nope. Not telling. You'll just have to wait and see," he said with a grin forming on his lips.

She really wished he wouldn't do that. There was that strange feeling in her stomach again. Why did it always seem to happen around him? She bit her lip as she looked out the window.

She hoped she wasn't making a mistake by agreeing to this night drive.

* * *

He watched as Jude looked around, obviously confused by his choice of location. "What are we doing here?"

Sighing, he turned off the car and looked at her. "This is your surprise."

"The lake?" She shook her head. "I don't understand. Why did you bring me here?"

He smiled and got out of the car, quickly walking over to her side to let her out. He held out his hand for her to take, but she just stared at him. "What are we doing here?" she asked again.

"Just get out of the car, Harrison."

She sighed and accepted his extended hand. He sat on the hood of his car and motioned for her to do the same. "Okay, I'm out of the car. Now will you tell me what's going on?"

"I take it you remember the lake?"

"Of course I do."

He stared out at the water, thinking back to the first time he ever worked with her. This place had been what brought them together then. Maybe it could do the same thing now.

"I was hoping we could work past everything tonight. Start over," he said quietly.

"What?"

"Jude, when I said that I wouldn't have volunteered for the job, I wasn't talking about working with you. I swear."

"I don't understand."

"My life—it's been crazy since I've been away from Toronto. I've become something I can't honestly say that I'm proud to be." He paused, unsure of what exactly to tell her. Silence passed as he realized that it was harder than he thought.

As he stared out into the lake, he realized she wasn't pushing him to tell her anything, and that made it so much easier.

Taking a deep breath, he tried to explain himself the best that he could. "Two years ago, I got involved with one of my artists. The rumors that were flying weren't exactly rumors. But the paparazzi didn't know the whole story and they still don't. After the mess with my artist happened, I made a promise to myself. I swore that I wouldn't produce another artist if I had any say at all." He looked over at her and gave her a small smile. "I didn't mean anything against you. I'm sorry it came across that way."

She remained silent for a minute before nodding. "It's okay. I get it. Thanks for explaining it to me," she said quietly.

Tommy scooted further back on the hood of his car and laughed at her as she tried to do the same. "First things, first. Shoes off, girl."

"What?"

"I'm not letting you scuff up my car with your heels."

She let out an exasperated sigh as she rolled her eyes and began taking off her shoes. "Some things never change," she said as she tossed them on the ground.

Taking her by surprise, he grabbed her by the waist, pulled her backwards and laughed as she tried to keep her dress down. "That is a pretty tiny dress. What were you thinking?"

"Blame my sister," she said grouchily.

"Ah. Say no more," he chuckled.

After she got settled, she sat with her legs out in front of her, with her right leg, swung over the left and leaned back on her hands. She let out a sigh that ended up sounding dreamy and he looked at her and tried to hold back laughter. She grinned sheepishly and avoided his gaze. "I have a confession to make."

"Is it juicy gossip material? I've got to tell you, the gossip has been pretty dead around here lately," he smirked.

She smiled and shook her head. "No, it's not that 'juicy'. It's pretty simple, actually."

"Well I'm dying in suspense here, Harrison."

"I've always loved it here," she admitted quietly.

As she avoided his gaze, he knew that more meaning behind that statement existed. More that she wasn't willing to say.

He cleared his throat and turned to face the water again, unsure of what to say. This place was important to him too, and he loved it here. Probably just as much as she did.

He could tell she felt a little uncomfortable so he tried to lighten things up a little. "That's your big secret? Wow, that's… dull."

She laughed a little and for some unknown reason, she seemed so much more relaxed than she had been the entire night. It was nice, knowing they could maybe get back to their old habits.

They sat in silence and just listened to the water, taking everything in.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but he glanced over in her direction and noticed that she looked deep in thought. He gave her a small nudge and she looked up at him in surprise. "What's on your mind?"

"Nothing."

"Jude."

She sighed and looked away. "I'm sorry."

To say he was perplexed was an understatement. He had no idea what she could possibly be apologizing for. "Uh, what for?"

"For flipping out on you during our session the other day. I didn't mean what I said."

"It's fine—"

"No, it's not. I just… when you left, I didn't really deal with it. I just kept telling myself that I didn't care that you had gone without even saying goodbye and after a while, I believed it."

"Jude—"

"Let me finish. You have no idea how hard it was for me to change '24 Hours'. I was so against it."

"Oh I remember. It was like pulling teeth," he said smiling.

"I didn't want to change it. But I did… because I trusted you," she said quietly.

And suddenly, it all made sense to him. He looked away, feeling guilty. He shouldn't have just left like that. At the time, he had thought it was what was best for both of him, but really, he was just being selfish. He hadn't wanted to deal with her possibly trying to persuade him to say, and he had just wanted out of there as quickly as he could get away.

"When you asked me earlier if I trusted you, I wasn't completely honest with you. But I'm trying," she stated.

He forced himself to look at her and he sighed. "Thanks."

He slid off the hood of the car and walked around to help her down. He grabbed her shoes, held his hand out, and was surprised when she didn't argue with him. He gave her a small smile as he opened the door. "Let's get you home."


	11. Chapter 10

Hola everyone! Thanks for the feedback! I appreciate it :)

This is Johnny's going-away chapter. It was pretty well-received on the other site that I've posted this on, so I hope you all like it, too.

You all are almost all caught up with the amount of chapters I've got. So yay!

Please review! I love hearing what you all have to say!

Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star

* * *

**Chapter 10**

Jude smiled as she started knocking on Johnny's door. He pulled the door open, still in his pajamas, which consisted of a pair of plain, gray sweatpants, and had messy bed hair. He rubbed his eyes and yawned. "Jude? What are you doing here?"

"Do you really need to ask that?"

"It's too early for guessing games," he said in mid-yawn. Jude rolled her eyes and suppressed a chuckle at the sight. He was worse than she was with mornings, and that was saying something.

"Come on. Get dressed, you lazy bum. I'll buy you breakfast."

"Okay," he conceded.

"Great!" she exclaimed, feeling extremely giddy.

"You can buy me breakfast _after_ I go back to bed."

And the giddy feeling was gone. She let out a frustrated groan and glared at him. "Johnny, come on."

"I'm tired, babe," he replied, giving her a stern look. "I spent all of last night getting the last of my stuff together and then labeling already packed boxes to be shipped out to California. I'm exhausted." His frown deepened as he crossed his arms. "And did your phone break or did you forget how to use it?"

"Come again?"

He sighed and swung his right arm over her shoulder. "You didn't call last night. I was up all night worrying," he said with a smirk playing at the corner of his lips.

She rolled her eyes and shrugged out of his arms. "Oh please. And you call _me_ a liar? You were not."

His smirk widened into a full smile and he started laughing. "Okay, maybe not _all_ night, but I _was_ worried. So what happened with you and Tom?"

Her eyes widened in shock. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, I figured he must have dazzled you if you didn't even bother calling me last night. I'm not stupid, Harrison."

She sighed. No, he wasn't stupid. Sometimes, he was too damn smart for his own good. The truth was, she wasn't quite ready to share what had happened between her and Tommy last night. She finally felt as though they were in a good place, that they could move forward. That moment felt private, special even. She wasn't sure how to describe it and she didn't want to. Not even to Johnny.

"Nothing happened. We just talked a little," she said as she avoided his gaze.

"Talked?"

"Yes, we talked. And don't even think about asking what we talked about because I'm not telling," she responded sternly.

He nodded and shrugged. "Okay." She didn't fail to notice that he seemed a little hurt at her lack of willingness to talk about it. Not that she could blame him. They talked about _everything_. Most of the time.

He began walking away and she noticed that he was headed back towards his bedroom. Her eyes narrowed and she said with a hint of mischief, "I don't think so."

She sprinted past him and she heard a low chuckle rumbling from his throat as he took a few strides after her. She barged in his room and jumped on the middle of the bed and spread herself out, sprawled eagle style. His bed was enormous and he could easily still fit on it, but it was the principle of her protest that counted.

After she had barged into his room, she tried not to pay attention to its bareness. She noticed that things were either in boxes or had already been shipped out to LA. A wave of sadness overwhelmed her and she did her best to ignore it. She didn't want this to turn sappy.

She heard him approaching the room and put on her best poker face. She saw him lean against the doorframe with an amused expression on his face. "You look ridiculous, you know that right?"

"You are _not_ getting back into this bed Johnny Summers. Not if I have anything to say about it."

"Oh really?"

She nodded her head earnestly and tightened her muscles as if to prove her point.

"You do know that you're so tiny that I'd be able to basically just give you a nudge and you'd be moved over, right?"

"Try it and see," she taunted. She'd show him—she was stronger than he gave her credit for. At least she thought she was.

Before she could even blink, he'd said, "okay," and made his way to the bed. He was sitting on his knees and he tried moving her, but she grabbed a hold of the sheets, trying to stay firmly in place.

"I thought you could just nudge me and I'd be over on the other side of the bed, Summers. Is that all you got?" she teased.

He tried lifting her by the waist, but she gripped the sheets tighter and she tried not to laugh as he let out a frustrated groan. "Harrison, come on."

"You giving up already?"

"No. I just didn't want to have to do this the hard way."

She began to feel the anticipation as she chuckled, "What's the hard way?"

Out of nowhere, she felt him begin to tickle under her arms. She let out a yelp and quickly released the sheets because of the unexpected contact. That was her weakest spot and he knew it. The traitor.

"Johnny, don't."

"Not so tough now, are you babe?" He laughed as he started tickling her and she took extra caution to keep her arms clamped to her side.

She was in mid laughter when he picked her up by the waist and threw her over his shoulder like she was a sack of potatoes. "Johnny," she squealed. "Put me down, now!"

"Say 'uncle'."

"No."

"Say it," he said as he reached up to the underside of her arms, which were now exposed thanks to the way he was holding her. "Say it, Jude…"

"Never," she heaved between fits of laughter. She suddenly came up with a different tactic to beat him. She wasn't about to cry 'uncle'. "I'll lick you," she warned.

"You wouldn't?"

"You've known me for how long and you _really _have to ask that?"

"Don't you dare. I don't want your nasty spit on me."

"Oh, you know you want it. Stop fighting it, JJ."

"Harrison, I'll spank you if you do that. And don't think I won't, either."

"See—I told you that you wanted it," she mused, chuckling. She loved teasing him like this. She missed it; it felt like it had been ages since they'd last been like this, but in reality, it had only been a day or so ago. So much had happened in just the short time span of three days. She could slowly feel their relationship changing and it made her sad because she couldn't do anything about it.

Suddenly, she felt a sting on her butt and she squealed, momentarily forgetting her feelings of nostalgia. "You dirty little…" she put her finger in her mouth and then proceeded to stick it in his ear.

He screamed in disgust and deposited her on the bed, as he promptly started wiping his ear off. "What are you, five?"

"Six," she said smirking.

"Well, I believe it," he mumbled as he lay on his back next to her.

She wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, but eventually, she had snuggled up to him and he put his arm around her, pulling her close. He rested his chin on the top of her head after she placed her head on his chest.

"I miss you already," he said softly.

She shut her eyes and felt her throat tightening. "Me too," she whispered.

* * *

She wasn't sure when she had nodded off, but the next thing she knew, she woke up to Johnny sitting in a chair, watching her sleep with a sad smile on his face. "Why didn't you wake me?" she grumbled.

"I was enjoying the silence," he chuckled. "Lord knows that's the only time I ever get it with you around," he said, smirk in place.

She scowled and chucked a pillow at him and fell back into the mattress. "How long was I asleep?"

He shrugged. "Don't know. Couple hours, maybe. I nodded off for a while, then I got up, showered, and got dressed."

She gave a sad smile; she couldn't believe that she had fallen asleep, knowing that this was his last day here.

She sighed and decided to ask the one question she _really_ didn't want to ask. "What time does your flight leave?" She tried not to let her voice crack as she asked, but she didn't really quite successfully manage that task.

"Jude—"

"What time?"

He hung his head back, letting it rest on the chair. He shut his eyes, refusing to meet her own. "Seven."

She glanced at the clock and felt her eyes widen. "What?! Why didn't you wake me up?!" She exclaimed.

"You barely got any sleep these last few nights and you looked at ease. And…" he trailed off, not finishing his sentence. He looked away from her, unwilling to look her way at all.

"What?" she asked with a frown. It wasn't like him to hesitate so much.

"Can you just drop it?" Frustration colored his tone, but she wasn't going to back down that easily.

"No. Come on. What is it?" she asked softly.

He let out a defeated sigh and promptly continued to avoid her gaze. He shook his head before answered and ran a hand through his hair. "And I just wanted to watch you sleep for a little while, okay? It's the last time I'll ever get to for a while."

Instead of feeling saddened, or even touched by the admission, she felt confused. Never had she ever known him to watch her sleep. Her eyes narrowed of their own accord. "What are you talking about?"

Embarrassment colored his cheeks and normally, she would have reveled in the sight because he rarely got embarrassed, but her mind was too focused on the current topic at hand to really care. "Sometimes when you would fall asleep in the studio, or even here, you would just look so peaceful, so at ease, and I would just watch you."

Eyes widening, she suddenly felt much more awake now. She was shocked. This was completely new information for her and she wasn't sure of what to do with it. Clearing her throat, she asked the only question she could currently think of. "How long has this been going on?" Her curiosity was certainly peaked at this point. She couldn't help but pry, especially since she had such an inquisitive nature to begin with.

"Since your accident," he said softly. Her breath hitched at his confession and she swallowed. She never knew. "I never really told you how scared I got when it happened. We would always talk about it in a joking manner, treating it like we do everything else, and I didn't want to freak you out, so I always just went with it. But you have no idea how close…" he trailed off, shutting his eyes as if to shut the memory out. Not that she could blame him. It was something she would rather not remember, either.

"Anyway, after that, I would sit there for hours sometimes, just to listen to you breathe." Silence passed and she was so shocked by this new information that she didn't know how to react. Suddenly Johnny broke the silence. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you that."

She shook her head roughly. "No. I'm glad you did. It's just… why didn't you tell me sooner? I didn't know—"

"And that's the way I wanted it. I didn't want you worrying about how _I_ was when you needed to be focusing on getting better."

"But after that? After I was better? What about then? You could have told me," she whispered.

"It's not that big of a deal, Jude," he said dully.

"It is to me."

Ever since she had the accident, it was like nobody dared to talk about it. Really, she expected it from most people, but not Johnny. She always counted on him for his knack for being straightforward. He never backed down from anything, so she was a little shocked that, despite the severity of the car accident, he hadn't said one word about this before now. Johnny never kept things quiet for this long.

He took a deep breath and leaned forward in his chair. "Look, I didn't tell you because I didn't want to creep you out. Stuff like that is things boyfriends do, and I'm not, never been, nor will I ever be, anything close to that. It's just not normal," he said and let out a frustrated sigh.

She stared at him, completely amused that he was embarrassed because it wasn't 'normal' and started laughing while his frown deepened.

"Thanks. Just go ahead and laugh," he complained.

"Johnny, since when have you and I _ever_ been normal?! We drive people crazy with our relationship. They're always convinced that we're going to develop into something more, and then, after they get to know us, they get so frustrated when they figure out that we're just not that way. It's just the way we are. We're not normal people," she said chuckling.

He gave a small smile as he looked at her. "No. I guess we're not."

"Definitely not. Anyway, enough of this. This is your last day here and it's not to be wasted," she declared firmly.

"Really?"

"Yup! Time to go," she said, rolling out of bed and grabbing his hands, trying to pull him up out of the chair.

"Where are we going?" he groaned as he pulled himself up.

"We're hitting all of your favorite places in Toronto—that aren't nightclubs."

He smirked down at her, clearly amused. "And we're going to hit every single place in five hours? I bet you don't even remember half of them."

"Never underestimate Jude Harrison, my friend. I'm afraid Tommy had to learn that the hard way," she said with a laugh.

"I'd never dream of it," he replied, shaking his head. He grabbed her hands and gave them a small squeeze. "Let's go."

* * *

The day progressed and she and Johnny managed to hit most of his favorite spots in Toronto. She constantly asked him if he was ready to go and finish getting his things together, but he always declined the offer and said that the movers would take care of everything. All of his things were boxed up already, so he said he didn't need to worry about it.

It was now close to five o'clock. He stopped and said his last minute goodbyes to everybody and they were now on their way to the airport. Johnny was in the middle of talking to her about his schedule once he got out there when she heard her phone ring.

She looked down and groaned.

"What's up? Who is it?"

She glanced over at Johnny and mumbled, "Tommy."

"Oh-ho. That's right! Shouldn't you have been at the studio today? I bet he's not too pleased, right now."

She reluctantly gave him a small smile, still surprised at the caring gesture Tommy had offered. "Nope. He gave me the day off." Deciding to give Quincy a break, she accepted the call. "Yeah?"

"Hey. How are you?"

Other than the fact that she was a little shocked he was even bothering to ask how she was doing, she was great. "I'm okay. What'd you need?"

"I was just checking up on my favorite artist."

She rolled her eyes, unable to stop the smile from forming on her lips. "I'm your only artist, dumb ass."

"But still my favorite," he said chuckling. "Everything going okay with Johnny?"

She took the phone away from her ear and glanced down at the screen warily. She was not understanding one bit of this conversation. Softly biting her lip, she placed the phone back to her ear. "Jude? Are you there?"

"Yeah. I'm here. Uh, things with Johnny are good. We're actually on our way to the airport right now. We just left his house and he picked up everything he needed and he's on his way." As she spoke, she tried to keep the sadness out of her voice. But Johnny wasn't fooled. She heard him let out a small sigh and she cursed herself for not being able to put up a better front for him.

"Ah. Well, are you sure you're okay?"

She gritted her teeth and was beyond frustrated at this point. No, she wasn't okay, but she sure as hell wasn't going to admit that to anybody. She could take care of herself. "I'm fine. Actually, I've gotta get going. But thanks for calling me. He and I are nearly at the airport, so I'll talk to you later."

"Okay. See ya," he said quietly.

"Bye."

After she hung up, Johnny gave her a quizzical look and she shrugged her shoulders. "What did Tom want?"

She stared at him and rolled her eyes. "I don't know. It was all strange. He apparently was calling to check up on me?"

"Really? That's interesting."

"Uh-huh. Sure. Interesting," she mumbled as she turned to stare out the window.

Honestly, she didn't know what to make of it all. But she wasn't going to dwell on it, not when she had less than a half hour to spend with Johnny. They were almost to the airport and Jude's heart kept sinking lower and lower.

It wasn't fair. Why did she have to be so damn supportive and practically shove him out the door? Why didn't she just tell him the truth—that she didn't want him to go and she wanted him to stay here with her?

Because she knew he would have done it, that's why. Producing at Riptide had been a dream of his for as long as she could remember and who was she to try and take that away from him?

But she could have tried to weasel out of her contract with G-Major and gone with him. When he had asked her to move out to L.A. with him, she'd wanted nothing more than to scream 'yes' a thousand times and just go with him. But she had stupidly convinced herself that she had obligations here, a life here, and that he needed to move on from her.

It was the right thing to do, she was sure of it. So why did it feel so wrong?

A throat cleared, bringing her out of her trance. "Jude, we're here."

"What?!"

He gave her a small smile and nodded solemnly. "'Fraid so, darlin'."

How had she managed to put herself so deep inside her own head that she hadn't even noticed her surroundings? It seemed impossible to her.

Reluctantly, she pulled herself out of the car, helped gather his things, and then they began making their way to the airport. Johnny made his way through the ticket line and met her at the other end and they began walking to security.

When they got there, however, a surprising sight greeted her. "Tommy? What are you doing here?"

"I asked him to come," Johnny offered.

"You seem to be doing that a lot lately, huh? Are you sweet on Quincy or something?" she asked teasingly.

"Ha, ha. Your sense of humor failed to amuse me right there, Harrison."

Tommy nodded in agreement and looked offended. "Yeah, me too!"

"Don't get your tighty-whities in a bunch, boys. I was just kidding."

For the next few minutes, the three of them stood there, not really chatting about anything important. Tommy managed to get a few laughs out of the both of them, but the fact remained that they were all depressed as hell.

Johnny lacked the usual spark he always possessed and Jude wasn't feeling as animated as she usually did. It was as though J.K. Rowling's dementors managed to come to life and were floating in the Toronto airport, sucking the happiness out of everything.

A beeping noise filled the vicinity and Johnny reached in his pocket and pulled out his phone. He sighed and shut it off. "Alarm. I need to get going."

Tommy shifted uncomfortably and rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, well, I guess I'll say goodbye now and go… over there. It was good to meet you."

Johnny accepted Tommy's outstretched hand and shook it, pulling him in and gave a typical 'guy pat' on the back. Jude saw him whispering something in Tommy's ear, to which Tom responded with a serious nod. It frustrated Jude that she didn't know what they were saying. Talk about rude!

"Right then. I'm just gonna go now."

With that, Tommy departed and leaned against one of the pillars in the airport, watching the various passersby, giving Johnny and Jude their time to say goodbye. She'd have to remember to thank him for that later.

"So…" Johnny started.

"So… this is really it? You're really leaving," she said quietly.

Silence passed between them and as she looked up to study his face, she couldn't ever remember him looking so sad.

"I don't have to go. It's not too late. I can call them and say 'thanks, but no thanks.' Just say the word and it's done." He was practically pleading with her by this point and she wanted so badly to tell him to do it, to tell him to stay.

"Stop," her voice cracked as she spoke and she wished she had better control over her emotions. "You're going, okay?" By this point, tears had started spilling over and there was nothing she could do to stop them.

She broke out into full sobs as reality hit her hard and fast and before she knew it, she was pulled into a pair of strong arms and was crying into his shoulder. "I love you, Jude. You're my best friend. Don't ever forget that. I'm always here, okay? Just a plane ride away," he said soothingly.

She couldn't bring herself to say anything; she simply held on tighter at his words.

Once her tears slowed, she pulled back slightly and he rested his forehead on hers. "I love you, too, JJ. Go get 'em," she whispered.

He nodded, placed a kiss on the top of her head, and turned around to start walking towards security. Footsteps came up behind her and she realized it was Tommy, but she didn't dare turn away. She was afraid that if she turned her head for a second, Johnny would really be gone.

The line to security wasn't a long one, unfortunately. Most people didn't have their flights at this time, so he would manage to get through the line fairly quickly. He turned back around after he showed the man standing at the start of the line his ticket and I.D. and gave a small wave. Reluctantly and slowly, she raised her own and waved back, watching him disappear into the crowds.

She could feel Tommy's eyes on her, but she didn't say anything, didn't look at him. She just stood there, staring in the direction that Johnny had gone, watching nothing. He'd really gone; he'd left.

The sound of Tommy's rumbling stomach pulled her out of her daze and his face grew sheepish. "Sorry. I didn't get a chance to get anything to eat before I came here."

"Want to go grab a bite?"

She was shocked; her own voice sounded completely foreign to her. It was dead, lacking any sign of life.

"That's okay, we can stay here a bit longer if you want to."

The offer was tempting, more than, but she shook her head. "If I stay here any longer, I'll drive myself insane. Let's just go."

When they got outside, she remembered that she had to drive since they had brought her Mustang to the airport. Great. Driving was the last thing she wanted to do right now. To be honest, she didn't want to do much of anything. All she really wanted was to go home, change into sweats, and curl up on the couch with a pint of her favorite ice cream and watch sappy movies.

"Where do you want to go?" she asked as she rummaged through her purse for her keys.

"Just follow me. You'll see," he replied with a barely-there grin.

She sighed and cocked her head to the side. "I'm not in the mood for follow-the-leader, Tom. Just tell me where we're going."

"It's the perfect remedy to your sad, way depressed mood. Just trust me."

She gritted her teeth and mumbled under her breath as she got into her car. "Not likely."

* * *

Jude rolled her eyes as the golden arches of McDonald's came into view. She pulled out her phone and found Tommy's number, annoyed that he thought that this was, 'the perfect remedy to end her sad, way depressed mood.' Yeah right.

He picked up on the first ring and she heard him laughing. "This isn't our final destination, so don't lay into me just yet, Harrison."

She gritted her teeth, feeling somewhat irritated that he could guess what she was going to say before she even said it. It wasn't fair, not when she had such a hard time reading him. She was going to have to work on that.

"Tommy—"

"Jude. Just order something and eat it on the way. We're going through the drive through. Now, seeing as how I'm getting ready to order next, I have to go. Bye!"

"Tommy—" and he hung up. Bastard.

She sighed loudly as she tossed the phone onto the passenger's seat and let her head rest against her seat.

Finally, after they were through with their ordering, they pulled back out into traffic and the annoyed feeling she had earlier was slowly starting to dissipate. It was always a mystery to her that a greasy, completely unhealthy burger from McDonald's had the ability to put her in a cheerier mood.

Her phone rang and she quickly finished her burger so she could pick it up. She was in mid swallow when she answered. "Hello?"

"Ew. Didn't anyone tell you not to talk with your mouth full, girl?"

"Funny. What did you want?"

"I just wanted to ask if you enjoyed your burger…" there was a hint of amusement in his voice, though she couldn't place why.

"And how do you know that I got a burger, Mr. Quincy? Maybe I got a salad?" she replied smartly.

A boisterous laugh filled her ears and she had to hold the phone away. When she heard the laughter die down, she finally put the phone back up to her ear. "What's so funny about that?" she asked indignantly.

"Jude, when we used to work together, you would have cheeseburgers everyday for lunch. Sometimes dinner, too! No matter what I suggested, you always made me go get a burger for you," he chuckled.

She felt slightly embarrassed that he chose to remember _that_ particular detail about her. She sighed. "It's been three years, Quincy. My tastes could have changed, thank you very much."

"And am I wrong?" When she didn't answer, he started snickering again. "Yeah, I thought so."

"What'd you want Quincy? For _real_ this time. Surely you weren't calling _just_ to ask me if I still had my crazy cheeseburger fetish?"

"You caught me. I wasn't calling just to ask about your sick, completely unhealthy fetish."

"Well, at least _my_ fetish is a cheap one, thanks. Is it true that you actually bought 15 hundred cases of Manjella hair gel because they were going out of stock?"

"Not the topic at hand, Harrison. Anyway… how do you feel about getting dirty?"

For a second, she could only sit there. Had he really just asked what she thought he did? "Excuse me?"

"Well, we're here. This is our final stop."

Jude looked at the sign as she pulled into the parking lot and groaned. Surely this was a joke. It had to be.

She hung up the phone and angrily got out of the vehicle to go and meet Tommy by his Viper. He promptly got out of the car and was grinning ear-to-ear. "So what do you think?"

"Is that a rhetorical question?"

He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. "No, it's not. I'm serious. What. Do. You. Think?"

"I think you're insane," she answered honestly. "I mean seriously, Tommy. Paintball?"

He gave a small smile and walked towards her, and upon reaching her, placed an arm around her shoulders. "Look at this way. I figured this would be a good way for you to take out your frustrations. And who better to take them out on than me?"

"I don't know…"

"Oh come on! Live a little. Paintball is the best. I promise." When she still didn't answer, he tried a different tactic. "What's the matter, Harrison? Don't have the guts?"

Her jaw dropped of its own accord and she turned to face him, squaring her shoulders and tilting her chin defiantly. "You're on."

* * *

Paint hardened her hair and made her smell truly awful. But in the end, it was all worth it, especially since Tommy had gotten the worst of it.

"Quincy, you look ridiculous," she said between fits of laughter.

"Yeah, well, you don't look so grand yourself, Harrison," he remarked dryly.

"I look better than you," she taunted.

A small pout graced his lips and she doubled over with laughter. "Says you," he grumbled. He let out a few choice words and then groaned aloud. "This was my favorite shirt."

It was all she could to not laugh harder at that. After they had changed out of their protective gear, she had been hiding a paint-balloon and when he was least expecting it, she smashed it on him. He wasn't too happy about it, but he took it with surprisingly good humor.

"Hey, don't get mad at me! This was _your_ idea, remember?" she said, still snickering. She tilted her head to the side, studying how truly awful he looked. "Are you going to be able to get into your car? I mean I know how much you just _adore_ that Viper." Now matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get rid of the smirk on her face. His hair was covered in paint. Not to mention, paint got caked on to his uncovered skin. Yeah, he definitely got the worst of it.

"I'm not leaving my Viper here over night!" he exclaimed. He sounded truly appalled by the idea of leaving his precious car out of eyesight, but, at the same time, he looked as though he were torn between leaving it there and not getting any paint on the leather, or driving it. It amused Jude to no end.

"Wow. You have got some issues, Quincy. Let me go check my Mustang. Maybe I have a towel or blanket or something that you can put on your seat so you don't get any paint on the leather."

As she was walking over to her car she opened the trunk and started rummaging through everything to try to find the blanket she was positive was present.

After she found it, she shook it out and an envelope fell out. Tossing the blanket aside to Tommy, she bent down and picked up the fallen paper. It had one word scribbled on it: **"Jude"**

She swallowed nervously and bit her lip. For some reason, she was unable to open it. She knew who it was from—she recognized the handwriting immediately.

"What is it?" Tommy asked as he was trying to get some of the paint out of his hair.

"Letter."

All she could do was stand there and stare. Why couldn't she read it? "Well are you going to open it, or just stare at it?"

"Uh, I'll open it later."

She walked over to the driver's door of her Mustang and tossed the envelope inside, watching as it landed on the passenger's seat.

When she turned back around, she smiled at Tommy, walked over to him, and hugged him. For a second, he didn't return the hug, but just stood there, frozen.

Once he snapped out of whatever daze he was in, he wrapped his arms tightly around her, pulling her closer. She stood up on her tip-toes and whispered in his ear, "Thank you."

"You're welcome."


	12. Chapter 11

Hello again!

Nearly there, nearly there! I'm up to the 13 chapters typed out now, so two more chapters, and you guys are all caught up!

Anyway, I have a feeling you all may like this chapter...

Please comment!

Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star.

* * *

Chapter 11

Three months had passed since Johnny's departure and things were slowly starting to get back to normal. She went back to work with Tommy and they had, more or less, developed some kind of understanding between each other. They never mentioned her attack the night of Johnny's going-away dinner; it was like an unspoken agreement. As unsettled as she was about it, she hadn't heard anything else from that creep of a man, so she had decided to put it behind her and do her best to forget about it. She didn't like to think about it, talk about it… but she couldn't help it when it came into her dreams. She'd had many troubling dreams about it and then, to her dismay, one nightmare about it in front of Tommy, but he'd wisely said nothing about it. He had just gone into hospitality, made her some cocoa, and left it at that.

Things between her and Jamie had gotten better. The day after Johnny had left, he had explained why he had had to back out on the dinner, and why he hadn't been there during Johnny's departure—his Nana had been incredibly sick and he had had to stay home and look after her. Jude had felt awful after learning the real reason as to Jamie's absence during Johnny's goodbye dinner. There'd been a lot of groveling and a few fights, but they had managed to work it out. Their anniversary came and went and she had been completely dazzled by the evening Jamie had planned out. Of course, later he had confessed that he had had help from Johnny and even Sadie, but still. It had been perfect for Jude. He had been the perfect gentlemen and had gotten everything right, and yet, there was something off. Something just didn't feel right.

It didn't help matters much when Tommy finally learned the identity of her boyfriend. When Tommy had figured out that she was dating Jamie, she had wanted to smack the shit out of him. As soon as she had let it slip that it was Jamie, a hearty, animated laugh escaped his throat and he was soon doubled over with laughter, clutching his sides because he was laughing so hard.

She thought back to the conversation when he found out that she was in a relationship with Jamie…

_"You're joking, right?" he said as he started wiping tears from his laughter._

_"Do I _look_ like I'm joking?" she stated with a frown on her face. "I don't see what's so funny about Jamie and me dating."_

_"Well, would you like for me to point out the obvious?"_

_"Not really."_

_He continued on as though she hadn't even spoken. "Reason one: he had his hair streaked blue, Jude. _Blue_!"_

_"Wow. Shallow, much, Quincy?" she scoffed angrily._

_"Reason two," he went on, undeterred by her dismissive response. "The guy was the definition of clingy! He followed you around like a puppy dog!"_

_She sighed loudly and rolled her eyes. He clearly wasn't getting it. "These aren't legitimate reasons, Tommy."_

_"And reason three, the biggest reason I find it so funny that you're dating Andrews—he was holding you back and you couldn't even see it!"_

_Her eyes narrowed and she felt anger coursing through her body. How dare he?! "You don't know what you're talking about."_

_"Don't I? He did everything in his power to keep you from changing your song. He didn't want you to grow! He expected you to stay exactly the same."_

_"You know? I thought your memory was supposed to be shitty?"_

_"What can I say? The guy made an impression," he remarked dryly._

_She huffed angrily, grabbed her purse, and headed for the door. "You know what? Stay out of it. It's not any of your business who I date. You don't know shit, Quincy," she remarked with an icy, clipped tone._

_With that, she stormed out of the studio, leaving a stunned Tommy standing alone..._

That seemed like a lifetime ago when she and Tommy had gotten into that argument. That was one of the bigger ones that they'd had, thankfully.

Despite that little setback, things had started to progress.

However, though everything else was starting to go back to normal, Jude wasn't. It wasn't easy for her to dive right back into things and pretend like her world hadn't been completely shifted.

Before Johnny had left, they had made a promise to each other to keep in touch every day, and for a while, that had happened. When his plane had landed, he'd called, despite the inconvenient time for her. She'd told him that it didn't matter what time he got in—he had to call her. And then, they'd developed a kind of routine where he would call in the morning, and then she would call in the evening. Then it lessened to one phone call a day, then to one phone call every couple of days, weeks, etc. Now they were passing e-mails to each other, and sometimes not even that. They hadn't spoken, or written, a word to each other for almost three weeks now; two days from now would be the three-week mark. It troubled her and she was feeling depressed about it.

To make matters worse, she and Tommy were developing a strong bond inside the studio—and out of it. Not to mention the fact that there was a clear physical attraction developing as well. That's what disturbed her the most, actually. Anytime they would get close to each other, sparks flew, and she could tell that it wasn't one-sided. So, she was trying to distance herself from him, but no matter what she did, it was like she kept getting pulled back in. It felt like he was a magnet: no matter how far she distanced herself from him, she always came right back to him. And it confused the hell out of her.

She felt like she was betraying Johnny in a way and she hated it.

The screen on her phone displayed Johnny's picture. She sighed and debated whether or not she should go through with the call. When she had realized that Johnny wasn't returning her e-mails or phone calls, she had resigned herself to not being the one to make the first move anymore. She could only make so many first moves before feeling like an idiot. But she missed him and wanted to hear his voice, so without a second thought, she promptly hit 'send'. She needed to talk to him.

After about five rings, she was ready to give up. As she was getting ready to end the call, she heard somebody pick up the phone.

Instead of getting Johnny, like she had expected, a sweet as honey voice filled the line. "Hello?"

Jude blinked. Why was a woman answering his cell phone?

"Hello?" she asked again.

"Uh, hi. Sorry. Is Johnny there?"

"Yeah, one sec. Babe! Somebody's on the line for you!"

She immediately hung up the phone, feeling incredibly awkward. Never in a million years did she think she'd ever feel awkward where Johnny was concerned. Tears sprung to her eyes and she didn't even know why. She was being completely ridiculous. But, at the same time, she knew she wasn't. They were drifting apart and there wasn't anything she could do to stop it.

Her phone rang again, and when she saw that it was Johnny, she hit ignore. The last thing she needed was for him to hear her crying on the phone, not to mention the fact that he would probably grill her as to why she'd hung up before he'd even gotten to the phone.

Two seconds later, the phone rang again.

She sighed in frustration and shut her phone off, not wanting to deal with it all right now.

Angrily wiping the tears away from her eyes, she left the bathroom and made her way back into the studio to find a grinning Tommy. However, as soon as he saw her entering the room again, his grin faltered.

"What's wrong? Is everything okay?"

No. Everything was far from okay. "Nothing's wrong. Everything's great." She quickly pulled herself together and walked over to sit in the chair next to him. "What had you all smiley when I walked in?"

Though he was still wary and he clearly wasn't buying her claim to be fine, his grin slowly returned to his lips and he hit the playback button.

_You're gone from here  
Soon you will disappear  
Fading into beautiful light  
'cos everybody's changing  
And I don't feel right_

_So little time  
Try to understand that I'm  
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game  
I try to stay awake and remember my name  
But everybody's changing and I don't feel the same  
_

Jude's eyes widened when she heard the song. "This… this is my song?!"

"What do you think?"

"Are you kidding?!" she exclaimed with a huge smile on her face. "This is awesome! Thank you!"

She jumped out of her chair and threw her arms around Tommy, hugging him tightly. Hearing the demo of her new song completely made her day and almost made her forget all about the awkward attempted phone call with Johnny.

Almost.

After she pulled back, he still had a grin on his face. He cleared his throat and rubbed his hands together somewhat nervously. "We should celebrate. This song is your next hit, girl."

"Absolutely! I would love to!"

She was on a high after hearing the demo and she couldn't think of any reason to say no.

As soon as she said 'yes' though, the nagging feeling that she was betraying her best friend came back to bite her in the ass.

But she quickly shook it off, not wanting to let it get to her. As she thought back to her earlier phone call, she felt a wave of stubbornness wash over her. To hell with Johnny. It was clear he was moving on from his life in Toronto… from her. So what was stopping her?

She watched as Tommy grabbed the demo and labeled the CD, putting it in its case. He turned to her with that smile still etched on his face. "You ready?"

Ignoring the nagging guilt, she nodded her head and plastered a smile back on her face. "Absolutely. Let's go celebrate, Mr. Producer Man."

* * *

Johnny angrily threw his phone down on the chair. "Stubborn woman," he muttered. That was the tenth time he had called her since she had hung up on him and still, no answer. He knew that hearing Jane answer the phone probably weirded her out and for a moment, he cursed himself for asking Jane to answer the phone in the first place.

He had been busy setting things up for his next session with her and she was doing some odd, meditation thing. Jane certainly was a strange character, but despite her… quirks, he'd grown rather fond of her. In fact, she was the _only_ artist he'd grown fond of.

He rubbed his face dejectedly, threw himself face forward onto the long, leather couch residing in the studio and screamed into the cushion..

Things were not going well. Not at all.

Of course, he tried to make _her_ believe that everything was just peachy and she seemed to be buying his bullshit. But that was beside the point. The point was, was that he was, in fact, drowning in L.A. The hours were excruciatingly long, his artists were whiny and temperamental as hell, and most importantly… they weren't Jude. He thanked God every second of everyday for Jane, because he had somehow managed to catch a break with her.

He thought he could do it—live in another country, work with other artists. But the more contact he had with Jude, the harder it was. Just hearing his best friend's voice on the phone was enough to drive him insane.

That's why he had made a decision, probably the biggest one of his life: he, Johnny Summers, was going to fade Jude Harrison out of his life.

It was cowardly and just plain cruel, but it was the only way he could stay here and get on with his life, or at least try to anyway. He realized that this plan of his was hurting Jude in the process, but it was for the best. If he succeeded, he would drive her away and she would get on with her life just fine. Not that that was what he wanted, but it was in her best interests to do so, right? No sense in hanging onto the past.

But, despite his assertations that it was for the best for both of them, it didn't stop the guilt from weighing down after every ignored e-mail or voice-mail. So many times he wanted to write her back, call her back, but it just made things worse.

In the beginning, when they had still kept in touch, or rather _he_ had still kept in touch, it had been hard for him. He could hear her side conversations with everybody, mainly Tom, and felt as though she had adjusted just fine without him.

Besides, she was in good hands with Quincy. At least he hoped to God that his instincts were right about the guy.

He and Tom had had many conversations without Jude's knowledge. At first, the pair loathed each other instantly, but Johnny had decided to give him a fair shot and things between them had started to improve. However, Tom did not seem to appreciate the excessive amount of grilling he had done.

The thing was, he knew exactly how to read Quincy, because he essentially _was_ Quincy. There were a lot of things that Jude didn't know about him and he intended to keep it that way. He was a different person now, changed for the better. He had committed himself to keeping a better lifestyle and things had only gotten better for him after he'd gotten the job at G-Major and proceeded to meet Jude.

He couldn't risk her knowing about his past, not when he had tried so desperately to keep it hidden from her. Although, she had gotten a good glimpse of what he had been like long ago when he flew off the handle.

It had been clear to him that she knew something was off, that he was keeping something from her, but he had managed to convince her that it was just a small temper problem, which was somewhat true.

Anyway, as much as he despised and loathed his past, it did come in quite handy when dealing with Tom. He knew exactly what questions to ask and how to ask them, and it appeared as though Tom saw underneath the surface and realized that there was more to Johnny Summers that met the eye. And Johnny was quite grateful that he had kept that little bit of information private.

"So who was the woman on the phone?" Jane asked as she re-entered the studio.

He turned his head to look at her and made sure that his face was firmly set so she would possibly take the hint and not press the matter. "It was no-one."

"Obviously it was someone," she said with such kind eyes that it made it practically impossible for him to be angry with her for not letting it drop. "I'd wager to say it was someone pretty important by the looks of how frazzled you are."

She plopped down on the floor space in front of the couch and coaxed him with such a warm, attentive smile that he couldn't help but crack. She had a way of getting to him and it was slightly irritating.

He sighed loudly and turned over on his side so he was fully facing her now. "It was Jude." He realized that he didn't divulge a last name and that Jane didn't know anything about his relationship with Jude, but Jane was smart and he didn't doubt that she'd already known who he was talking about anyway.

"Harrison?" she asked with a slightly raised eyebrow. He couldn't help but smile at that. He was slowly, but surely, getting to know this very kind, very odd artist. "How do you know her?"

Johnny rolled his eyes and finally sat up on the couch.. "I produced her for three years, Jane."

Her eyes widened and she momentarily looked away from him. "Well my, my. Aren't we just full of se… surprises?" He sighed, knowing very well she was going to say 'secrets'.

"So, who gets the pleasure of producing her now?"

She stood up from the floor and began to dust herself off as he answered. "Tom Quincy."

She froze and if he didn't know any better, he'd have sworn that she turned two shades whiter. She quickly recovered, though. In fact, if he hadn't been paying attention, he probably would have missed the reaction. Looks like he wasn't the only one full of se… surprises.

"Lucky girl. He used to be a first rate producer from what I've heard. Anyway, I find it highly odd that she would just hang up on you after being so closely involved with you for three long years. Are you sure you were just her producer?" she joked, teasingly.

Clearly she wasn't going to let on to the fact that she obviously knew Tommy personally and who was he to pry? He hated when people got up in his personal business, so he wasn't about to do the same to somebody as nice as Jane. Knowing Tommy's track record, she probably had a fling with the guy and got her heart obliterated. Poor girl.

So, taking the hint, he pretended as though he had noticed no change in her at all at the mention of Tom Quincy.

Groaning in frustration, he leaned back against the couch. "Like I haven't heard that one before? No. Jude and I have never been romantically involved. We just have this… look, I can't really explain my relationship with Jude. But it's special and she's very important to me. But, things between us have been strained lately, thanks to me, mostly," he admitted.

"Ah, pulling the old fade-out trick, are you?" she asked knowingly.

He stared in surprise. "How did you—?"

She laughed lightly, clearly amused by his shock. "It doesn't take a genius to figure out that that's what you're doing. If she's as important to you as you say she is, then you might find it in your best interest to put a stop to this whole 'fade-out' plan of yours. Otherwise, it might cause irreversible damage."

With that, she turned and walked into the recording booth, leaving him with his thoughts.

Suddenly, panic filled him. Did he know what he was doing? Was this what he wanted?

He thought of a life without Jude permanently and felt his blood go completely cold. He had never thought of it like that before, never realized that he might be permanently pushing her away.

Trying to shake the sick feeling off as he walked over to the soundboard, he began preparing things, once again, for their session.

He started fiddling with chords and knobs, setting things up and while he was doing so, he realized that he needed to figure out what the hell he wanted and fast. If he took this whole 'fade-out' plan too far, the consequences might be more than he could handle.

* * *

Tommy cocked his head sideways as he studied Jude intently. Something was bugging her and it was bugging _him_ that she still insisted on keeping this annoying distance between them. She was trying to pretend like everything was just great, but he knew better.

Honestly, it scared him a little bit at how close he was getting to her. He never let himself get that close to anybody, not for a little over two years. And yet, here he was, feeling himself getting sucked into her world against his will.

They were at a small café near the studio, sitting by the window, which she was currently staring out. For the first half of their celebratory outing, she'd been animated and clearly having fun. They had been talking about everything and nothing, and it felt damn good to have finally made some progress with her these past couple months. But now, as she stared out the window, completely oblivious to her surroundings, her expression look puzzled, troubled, and pained, all at the same time. He'd noticed this pattern of behavior in her for the last couple of weeks and every time he questioned her on it, she just got even more distant and irritated with him, which, in turn, caused him to get angry.

He'd been tiptoeing around it long enough and decided to just get to the point.

"What's with you, Harrison?"

"Nothing," she said stubbornly.

His jaw clenched and he could feel that he was starting to lose control of his temper. "I don't believe you."

"Well that's your problem then, not mine, isn't it? Nothing's wrong! I'm fine!"

He slammed his glass down on the table and she abruptly turned to him, startled by his sudden outburst. "Stop lying to me, damn it. If you were fine, you wouldn't be having these crazy mood swings these past few weeks and you wouldn't be staring out the window right now, looking like you're completely lost! What the hell is going on with you?"

"I told you—_nothing_! Quit badgering me!"

"No! Not until you finally come out with what's been eating at you!"

She shook her head and let out a rather cynical sounding laugh. "You've been back in my life for what, two, three months? Stop trying to play shrink with me! You think you know me, but you don't!"

He angrily stood up from the table and threw some money down on the table. "I'm trying to! Can't you see that?"

He quickly stormed out of the café, barely acknowledging the fact that Jude was screaming at him, telling him to slow down and wait. He wasn't even aware when she had caught up with him, but she placed her hand on his shoulder and forced him to face her. It was surprising to him that she had as much strength as she did, so it definitely caught him off guard.

"What?" he snapped.

"I'm sorry!"

He groaned, feeling very irritated. "You know? I'm kind of getting tired of this. It seems like all we ever do is apologize to each other. Why do you keep doing this? Why can't you just tell me what's wrong instead of fighting me on every little thing?"

She sighed and bit her lip, looking down at the ground. "I don't mean to. I promise."

She looked so remorseful at that particular moment that he couldn't really stay mad at her. Sure, he was a little annoyed, but he knew she was having trouble adjusting to Johnny's leave. He was trying his best to cut her some slack, so he wasn't going to argue with her anymore on the subject, at least for now.

He had no idea why, but out of nowhere, a light bulb suddenly went off. He recalled some of his conversations with Johnny that he'd had recently and realized that Johnny had seemed very interested in Jude. At the time, he hadn't thought anything of it, but the more he thought about it, the more curious he grew.

Johnny should have known how Jude was doing—according to Jude, they talked all the time. So, somebody was lying. And he had a feeling the fibber was standing right in front of him.

He knew if he asked her directly, she would lie. He was getting to know Jude Harrison quite well. But he was having trouble thinking up ways to get her backed into a corner and force her to admit that she and Johnny weren't speaking to each other.

So, he did what he could and decided to let it drop for now. He wasn't going to push it until he had a solid plan.

He motioned for them to start walking and they headed back to the Viper. She had admitted long ago to him that she loved his car, so it became customary for them to take his car wherever they went. He had even started picking her up in the mornings, much to Stuart Harrison's displeasure. But, Tommy had managed to convince him that it was senseless to take two cars to work when her house was a stop on the way to G-Major. Stuart had grumbled profusely under his breath and slammed the door, after which, he and Jude had started laughing. She had glanced at him and said with a hint of amusement in her voice, "I don't think he likes you very much. Although, can't say I blame him." After her smart-ass comment, she had started laughing again, tipping him off that she was just pushing his buttons.

Which, she had gotten annoyingly good at.

Interrupting his thoughts, Jude suddenly asked, "Can we go to the rehearsal space?"

"If I ask why, are you going to bite my head off?" he remarked, un-amused.

"Ha, ha. No. I'm just not in the mood to go back to the studio right now, so I was thinking we could work for a little bit at the rehearsal space."

He wasn't entirely buying her story, but thought it best not to push it. "Sure. Sounds like a plan."

They drove in silence with him thinking it wouldn't be wise to say anything that might start another fight. Both of them knew by now when not to speak to each other.

As he drove through the streets of Toronto, he couldn't help but wonder how the hell he had managed to get so close to her without even realizing it. They had both been so against any type of connection, and yet, here they sat, knowing each other better than either thought possible.

Which was why he should have been able to figure out a way to get her to admit to the fact that she and Johnny were not on the best of terms right now, but he was still drawing a blank. It didn't matter that it was clear to him that that's what the issue was—she would never admit it to him. Not in a million years.

He rubbed his hand over his face, as though that would suddenly give him any ideas on how to get the truth out of her.

"What's wrong with you?" Jude asked casually.

"Nothing."

She sighed loudly and turned to stare out the window, clearly irritated with him. Maybe he was being childish, but at least she had some idea of how he felt now.

Finally, after sitting through what felt to be about a hundred red lights, they arrived at the rehearsal space and made their way up.

She immediately started working in her journal and when he tried to help her, she quickly brought the small book to her chest and covered the material. "Absolutely not. Back off, Quincy," she warned.

He put his hands up in a surrendering motion and made his way over towards the window, feeling slightly bored. While this was all well and good for her, _he _had nothing to do at the moment.

A small grin formed on his lips as he finally thought of a way to get her to admit to the truth. What better way to back a person into a corner than to catch them off guard? She was in her 'writing zone' right now and would be susceptible to not thinking clearly about anything else. Maybe it wasn't exactly a 'solid' plan, but he had a feeling it would definitely work. It was dirty, but he really didn't see any other choice.

He cleared his throat and remarked offhandedly, "So, it must suck that you and Johnny aren't talking to each other right now."

"It's as bad as—" she shut her eyes and sighed. "Damn it."

"I knew it! I knew this had something to do with him!"

"Well bravo! Give yourself a prize! Do you want a cookie?"

"Chocolate chip with Macadamia nuts please," he responded sweetly.

"Can we let this go, please?" she asked as he walked over to the condemnable couch.

"Sorry. No such luck. What's going on?"

She sighed and shut her journal as she placed it on the ground. "I wish I knew. He's not talking to me anymore. Almost not at all," she added quietly. "I mean I know he's busy, but that can't be it, can it? Have you talked to him?"

His eyes shifted and he glanced away, not wanting to tell her the truth. He had been in contact with Summers more times than he could count. In fact, he had just talked to him the other day. They had actually gotten to be pretty good friends.

"Are you shitting me?! He's talking to _you_ but he doesn't even have the decency to drop me a freaking e-mail?! It's like he wants nothing to do with me anymore!"

"Jude, I'm sure you're probably just jumping to conclusions," he lied.

He had a feeling he knew _exactly_ what Summers was doing and as much as he wanted to be pissed off at the guy, he really couldn't be. Not when he had hurt Jude in almost the same way. All the same, Tommy decided he needed to call him, sooner rather than later, and have a little chat.

He knew Johnny wasn't coping very well in L.A. and he also knew that one of the reasons was because Jude wasn't around all the time anymore. He had a feeling that Johnny would have adjusted just fine had Jude gone with him. But this situation he had put both him and Jude in clearly wasn't helping either of them and the sooner Johnny realized that, the better. The guy needed to have some sense knocked into him.

"I'm _not_ jumping to conclusions! Don't try to defend him!"

"I'm not—" the glare on her face was enough to make him think twice before he finished his sentence.

"He's such an asshole! I hate him!" she screamed angrily.

"Oh come on. You don't hate the guy."

He sighed. Again with the glaring. Apparently this was one of those times he was just supposed to sit there and shut up while she vented. Anything he said seemed to get him in trouble.

He had resigned himself to doing just that, but he wasn't prepared when he saw tears streaming down her face.

Crap.

He hated it when girls cried. He had no idea what to do.

She leaned forward with her elbows on her knees, buried her face in her hands, and by that point, she had started heaving with uncontrollable sobs.

Oh this was so awkward.

Was he supposed to just sit there and watch her cry, or was he supposed to actually _do_ something?

_Damn you, Summers,_ he thought to himself. If Summers would have had a half a brain, they wouldn't be in this mess right now. He wouldn't be wondering what the hell that guy was thinking, nor would he be wondering if he tried to comfort Jude if she would give him a good kick in the balls. He wouldn't put it past her.

But he couldn't just sit there and watch her cry like that.

So, he put an arm around her shoulders, very tentatively, and risked moving a little closer to her. He gave her an awkward pat on the back and much to his surprise, he heard what he thought sounded like a bark of laughter escaping her throat. She looked up and through her tears, he saw some amusement mixed in there as well.

"You suck at this, Quincy," she said with a small smile on her face.

Embarrassment colored his cheeks. "Yeah, I know. Sorry. I grew up around guys. Don't have much experience in this area I'm afraid," he answered honestly.

"It's okay. It's the thought that counts. Thanks."

Shock filtered through him as she proceeded to lean against his shoulder. He reluctantly put his arm around her and drew her closer to him, but immediately regretted it.

The scent of her invaded his nostrils and he felt himself tense slightly. She was intoxicating; her hair smelled like some kind of fruity shit that he couldn't remember and it was enough to drive him nuts.

Leave it to him to have inappropriate thoughts fill his mind when he was trying to do something nice. Typical.

For the past couple of months, he'd been trying desperately not to notice these things about her, not to get this physically close to her, and here he was. He was mentally cursing at himself for putting himself in this position. Much to his alarm, he had realized long ago that any time he allowed himself to get this close to her, he found himself wanting to kiss her.

And the fact that she had just been crying was not helping his self-control much.

Her eyes were all puffy from crying and her nose was a little red, but she appeared dry-eyed. At least the tears seemed to have stopped.

She stared at the wall opposite them and she finally spoke again. "You were right."

"I know," he said smugly. "About what?"

She barely glanced at him, but he could tell her look was reprimanding—she hated it when he got arrogant like that, so she claimed. "I don't hate him. Far from it. I'm just… this is all new to me. I've never gone this long without talking to him and it just feels wrong. He's not been answering my voice mails, my e-mails, so finally I just gave up. I'm not exactly up for humiliating myself anymore than I already have."

Tommy tried to keep his anger at bay, but he wasn't very successful. Johnny was damn lucky that he was in a different country right now. He knew he had no right to be angry with the guy, but hearing Jude talk like that sent his blood pressure through the roof.

"Today was the first time I've tried contacting him again since the last time I called him."

"Did he answer?"

She laughed bitterly. "Oh I got an answer, but it wasn't exactly what I had expected. A woman answered the phone."

"And that bothers you?" he asked skeptically. He knew Jude wasn't petty enough to care that Summers had a girl answer his phone for him. Their relationship had never been like that.

She shook her head slowly. "No. That's not what bothered me about it." She sighed before continuing and tucked her hair behind her ears. "She called him 'babe'." At the blank expression on his face, she explained quickly. "That's what we used to call each other all the time. And now, another girl is calling him that. _I_ should be the one calling him 'babe'. Why is he doing this?"

"He'll come around, Jude," he said softly.

Her next words shocked him. He definitely wasn't expecting this sudden shift in the conversation. "Is there something wrong with me? I mean, did I do something wrong?"

"Jude—"

"You've talked to him recently. Did he mention anything about me? If you told me what I was doing wrong, maybe I could fix it."

Her voice had cracked by then and she had started crying again.

He didn't know what came over him. It was the last the last thing he should have done and it was the last thing he should have been _thinking_ about doing, but seeing her hurt and crying like that just completely did him in.

He turned her around so that she was completely facing him, grabbing her by the shoulders and pulled her to him. Before he could stop himself, his lips were covering hers.

What shocked him even more was the response that he got.

She was kissing him back.

But, just as soon as the kiss had started, it was over. She immediately pushed him away as soon as she realized what was happening, and he received a hearty slap in the face.

Her hand flew to her mouth, her eyes widening in shock.

"What was that?" she demanded.

"Jude, I'm—"

"What the hell was that?!"

"Jude, would you let me—"

She angrily stood up from the couch, grabbed her journal, and started for the door. "Where are you going?" Hadn't she just asked him to explain why he had kissed her just now?

"Away from you," was the only response he got besides the slamming door.

* * *

Song is "Everybody's Changing" by Keane.


	13. Chapter 12

Nearly there!

I'm currently typing up chapter 14 right now, so you all are almost caught up.

I'd like to wish you all a late Happy 4th! Hope you all had wonderful holidays!

Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star.

* * *

**Chapter 12**

Jude Harrison was angry.

No. Angry didn't _begin_ to cover it. They should invent an entirely different word to describe the wrath she was feeling.

After she had stormed out of the rehearsal space, she made quick work of catching a cab. Luck had thankfully been on her side and there had been a cab passing by almost as soon as she had arrived at the edge of the sidewalk.

The entire ride back to her home, the kiss replayed in her head and she only grew angrier each time she saw it playing back in her mind. By the time she had stepped into her house, she was completely and thoroughly pissed off.

And surprisingly enough, it wasn't even Tommy that she was angry with.

She had no idea what she was thinking when she had stupidly kissed him back. She certainly hadn't meant to. Obviously she hadn't been in her right mind when she had and would make quick work of setting him straight when she felt up to seeing him again.

She was absolutely livid that she had caved in and encouraged him.

She was mad at herself for responding to him the way she had. It had been so unexpected and that was certainly the last thing she ever thought would happen between them. Sure, when she was fifteen, she had thought maybe…

She shook her head angrily and slammed her fist down onto the table. She wasn't fifteen anymore. She wasn't naïve and she was very much aware of the man's reputation. He was a heartbreaker, and that was the one thing she didn't need right now. Tom Quincy was a loose cannon, no matter how much he had changed since his stay in Toronto. And she couldn't forget that fact, either. No good could come out of what had just happened. God, she was such an idiot.

She jumped when she heard her phone begin ringing. Christ, she didn't even remember turning the damn thing back on.

Guilt flooded every cell as she saw Jamie's face pop up on the screen and she quickly hit 'ignore'. She'd never be able to talk to him right now without him knowing something was wrong.

Great. Just perfect.

Not only was she stupid for responding to Tommy in the first place, but she had also cheated on her boyfriend of just over two years!

Granted, she had pushed him away almost immediately, but still. A kiss is a kiss. No matter the length. And the worst part was… she didn't even _want_ to end it. At first, she had had no intentions of pushing him away that quickly, but then, realization hit of what was happening and she panicked.

Her mind had immediately flown back to just before her first performance at the Vinyl Palace. When she had made the biggest mistake of her life by kissing him, she had thought for sure nothing would ever happen between them, and she had convinced herself that she was glad of it. At least he had shot her down early and not kept toying with her. After the incident, she had put those feelings away, never wanting them to be brought out again.

These past few months with him had been some of the hardest of her life. But she had finally come to terms with the fact that he was in her life and there was no way out of it. So she had started to accept his friendship, though reluctant to do so, and had found it pleasantly surprising. It had no longer been something to be angry about. She had been in a good place with him. They were connecting in ways she never thought possible.

And then, when she least expected it, he had forced all those feelings that she had put away long ago to come out of hiding. And it hadn't been pleasant.

What was she going to do?

It wasn't like she could talk to Sadie about it. Sadie would give her a big long lecture about how she should think about what she's doing and that people could get hurt and blah, blah, blah.

Johnny was out. That particular thought panged her heart, too. Normally, he'd be the first one she'd go to, but seeing as how they weren't on the best of terms right now, she decided against it.

Kwest was _definitely_ out. Not only would he likely be hearing the whole story from Tommy anyway, he would probably also go straight to her sister. Kwest had a bit of a problem with keeping secrets from Sadie.

Trying desperately to put aside all thoughts that were even remotely related to kissing, Tommy, or Jamie, she quickly ran upstairs and changed into her favorite pair of sweats, an old, dingy black t-shirt, and her favorite pair of socks. She threw her hair in a messy bun, grabbed a quilt from the trunk at the foot of her bed, and headed back downstairs.

The couch looked particularly inviting and she promptly curled up on the far end of the old piece of furniture and wrapped herself tightly in the blanket..

Before she even knew what was happening, she felt tears running down her cheeks.

How could she have done that to Jamie? She felt no better than Eden at the moment and what she had done wasn't even as bad.

Her emotions were at an all-time high right now and she didn't know what she was going to do.

She wanted to talk to Johnny; she needed him. He was always there to help her through anything and he said he'd always be there for her. She shut her eyes tightly as she thought about how obviously untrue that statement was. He was avoiding her, dodging her calls, not returning her e-mails… realization that he was abandoning ship swept over her and made her feel even worse than what she already did. For the first time in three years, it looked as though she was going to have to handle a crisis on her own.

Once her tears subsided, she felt her eyelids begin to grow heavy and couldn't have stopped them from shutting even if she had wanted to. Without even a second thought, she drifted off into a fitful sleep.

* * *

Jude felt herself being woken up and saw Sadie standing over her.

"You have a visitor," she said as she nodded towards Tommy. When she felt the awkward silence permeate the room, she cleared her throat and started to retreat from the uncomfortable space. "I'll uh, leave you two alone."

After Sadie was gone, Tommy was still avoiding her gaze and was looking anywhere but her. "Can I sit for a second?"

She shrugged as she sat up, watching him cross over to the couch. But he never actually made it to the couch because the words were out of his mouth before he had even crossed the living room.

"I'm not sorry," he blurted out.

Jude blinked in surprise and gave him a reproachful look as the blanket fell off of her when she stood up from the couch. "Tommy, you can't say things like that. That kiss should never have happened and it can't and will not happen again," she replied sternly.

He seemed to not hear her as he drew nearer. She swallowed nervously as he tucked a piece of hair behind her left ear. "That kiss wasn't a mistake. And you know it."

"You d-don't know what you're talking about," she stammered. It seemed impossible for her to form a coherent sentence with him standing that close to her.

"I think I do," he replied with a smirk on his face.

Her heart rate sped up considerably as he got even closer to her, completely ignoring the meaning of 'personal space'. Her skin felt tingly as he trailed his fingers down the length of her arm, causing her to shiver. His smirk only grew wider at the obvious reaction her body had to him.

As he continued coming closer, she could smell his distinct smell… the smell that made him, him. The smell that made her want to throw caution to the wind and cave in to everything she wanted. She couldn't stand the distance between them. He was so close to her, but for her, still so very far away. It was driving her crazy.

He seemed to have read her mind as he made one final step forward, closing the distance between them. His lips were on hers in an instant and she immediately locked her arms around his neck, forgetting her earlier protests that what they were doing right then, could never happen again.

It felt too good to her, the way his lips moved against hers, the way he pulled her closer to him, almost as if he were trying to fuse their bodies together.

She ran her fingers through his hair, reveling at the discovery at how soft it was. She had thought for sure it wouldn't have been this smooth.

He nipped at her bottom lip before pulling away. He then made a trail of kisses down her jaw line and finally stopped at the sweet spot on her neck. Her knees almost buckled right then as a moan involuntarily escaped her mouth. She tilted her head to the side, giving him better access, which he eagerly took advantage of.

He slowly lifted his lips off of her neck and looked at her with desire… hunger.

Chills ran down her spine as he cupped her cheek. "Tell me what you want," he whispered. "Do you want me to stop?"

When she didn't answer, he looked at her expectantly. "Jude?" Why couldn't she answer him? She knew what she wanted—and that included him _not_ stopping. "Jude…"

Wait a minute… that didn't sound like Tommy anymore. That sounded more like—"Jude!"

Sadie?

Her eyes quickly snapped open and she saw her sister standing over her, shaking her awake.

She felt completely startled and completely baffled. That was a new development. Had she just dreamt about kissing Tommy?

She promptly avoided Sadie's gaze and shut her eyes again as embarrassment filled every fiber of her being. Her sister had just woken her up from a dream that made her feel tingly all over.

She groaned and pulled the quilt over her head. "Go away," she mumbled.

"Sorry sis. No can do. You have a visitor."

She reluctantly pulled the blanket down and popped one eye open, then felt her eyes widen when she saw Tommy standing behind her sister. His hands were stuffed in his pockets and he was avoiding eye contact with Jude at all costs.

Her cheeks immediately flushed as the very vivid, detailed dream she had just had seconds ago popped into her head.

Oh God.

She couldn't look at him right now, let alone be in the same room _alone_ with him.

"Go away, Tommy," she said curtly.

Sadie glanced back and forth between them suspiciously with her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed. Great—that meant she was in full-on detective mode now.

"I'll uh, give you two some time to talk," she replied as she walked out of the room.

Traitor.

Tommy looked so nervous after Sadie had left that she wanted to laugh at him. He looked how she felt… only she was not in as good a shape as Tommy, considering she nearly just had a wet dream about him for crying out loud.

"Can I sit down for a second?"

She glanced at him warily, noticing the similarities between the events happening now, and the events in her dream. She didn't want to allow him to, but what could she do? Say, "Sorry, but I can't let you do that because I had a dream that played out almost exactly how this is going down, which, by the way, ended with us nearly jumping each others' bones so this is just too awkward for me?" Yeah, like that would happen. So she sucked it up as she shrugged and sat up, still avoiding looking directly at him.

Her nerves got going again as he sat down on the same couch as her. Well, at least _that_ part was different from her dream. She hadn't been expecting that one and she really wished he would have chosen somewhere else to sit. The cologne she had just dreamt about filled the room and was not doing good things for her self-control. So, she scooted as far away from him as possible to stop herself from throwing herself at him.

He sighed when he noticed her scoot as far away from him as she could. He probably thought she was angry with him, so she was distancing herself from him. Oh she was distancing herself all right… just for entirely different reasons than what she was almost positive he was thinking. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I crossed the line and I shouldn't have. I don't have any excuses for you right now. I just… I really don't know what to say…" She remained silent as he stared down at the floor. She really didn't know what to say either. It felt as awkward as things could possibly get. "I know things between us have only just started to improve and I'm sorry I jeopardized it."

She nodded. "Okay," she said quietly.

He took a deep breath as he stood up from the couch and glanced down at her, his facial expression completely serious. "But I don't think that kiss was a mistake."

Her eyes narrowed as she took in what he had just said. That was very similar to what dream-Tommy had said, and that particular reality didn't sit well wit her.

She wasn't ready to deal with this yet. She couldn't be this close to him right now. "I think you should go," she whispered.

He sighed, but nodded his head and retreated out of the living room and relief coursed through her as she heard the door shut.

But, of course it would be short-lived. Almost immediately, Sadie stormed into the living room, arms crossed, and glared sternly at her sister.

"Start talking."

* * *

"Stupid," he muttered as he hit his steering wheel outside the Harrison residence.

That was just another thing he could add to his list of screw-ups, even though it certainly didn't _feel_ like a screw-up. It was true, what he had said to Jude about the kiss not being a mistake. He didn't believe it was. It had felt too good to be a mistake.

But, no matter how good it had felt, in the process of the very short-lived kiss, he had probably managed to take their relationship three giant leaps backwards.

He sighed as he leaned his head back on the headrest of his seat and thought about what he could do as far as damage control went. She had been so distant with him in her house—it was like she was refusing to look at him at all; almost like she was disgusted with him.

When she had scooted as far away from him as the couch would allow her, he was surprised that she didn't get up and move away from him altogether. She seemed so revolted by his mere presence. But he could have _sworn_ she felt it too when she kissed back. She _did_ kiss him back, so that had to mean something, right?

He rolled his eyes at himself, unable to believe that he was sitting in his Viper, analyzing a kiss that had lasted probably two whole seconds. It was so unlike him and he couldn't believe how big of an idiot he was being over the whole ordeal.

He promptly put his Viper in reverse and backed out onto the street, then quickly took off down the quiet neighborhood. He had noticed some old lady giving him a reproachful stare as he peeled down the street, but he really didn't care..

He drove aimlessly, having no real destination in mind.

He just needed to feel good, feel… free. And this car helped him to do just that. Nobody understood his obsession with his Viper, but if they could feel the power once you got behind the wheel, the sense of freedom that you got, even just by riding in the passenger's seat, they would get it. His Viper was his escape. Escape from everything—especially like moments he had just had with Jude.

Taking drives in his car usually gave him the ability to forget everything, but it didn't seem to be working in this instance. In fact, if anything, his mood was worsening. Perhaps it was because he could still smell Jude's scent that refused to extract itself from his car. She rode in this car so often that her smell would probably be permanently infused in it.

He sighed and when he looked around, he noticed he was in a familiar neighborhood. Kwest's neighborhood.

He didn't even realize that he was on his way to Kwest's.

He hadn't intended on going to his best friend with this, but… since he was already here, what could it hurt?

After he pulled into Kwest's apartment building's lot, he quickly shut off the vehicle and made his way up to his best friend's loft. Kwest had given him a key long ago, so he never bothered with the buzzer anymore. He frowned as he thought back to when Jude invaded his apartment at 5:30 in the morning. He never did ask how she managed to get into his apartment. He'd have to ask her about that later. If things ever got back to normal between them, that was. Which, he didn't see happening any time soon.

Tommy was already up to Kwest's floor and was praying that he was there. Kwest had been spending a lot of time over at the Harrison residence, but when he had left their house, Kwest was nowhere to be seen, so he figured he might be at home, since they both were supposed to be finished with work for the day.

He looked down at his key and decided against using it, instead, opting to do the old-fashioned thing and actually knock.

His friend promptly answered the door and eyed Tommy with pure amusement. "Dude. You look worse than you did when your dog died."

"Funny," he remarked dryly.

"I'm serious. You look like shit. What's wrong with you?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Can I come in?"

Kwest quickly nodded and stepped aside. "Sure, sure. Please. Do you want a drink?"

"It's tempting. Believe me, is it ever… but I think water would be the smarter choice."

Kwest raised an eyebrow, all the while his expression becoming more and more intrigued. Tommy knew very well that he hadn't meant an alcoholic drink. Kwest never drank this early, nor did he ever offer anyone else a drink this time of day.

"Ouch. That bad, huh?"

"Worse," he mumbled as Kwest walked to the kitchen and got two bottled waters from the fridge.

After tossing Tommy one of the bottles and opening his own, Kwest hoisted himself up onto one of his barstools and took a long drink of his water before screwing the cap back on again. "What happened?"

Tommy remained silent and was feeling rather unsure of his decision to come to his best friend with this. But, maybe this was what he needed. Maybe he needed to hear Kwest tell him that he was an idiot and that he couldn't be doing things like that.

"Tom? Come on. Out with it."

He took a deep breath and prepared himself to speak the words that he really didn't want to. "I kissed Jude," he mumbled. The words came out so muffled and strained that even _he_ barely understood what he had just said.

Kwest laughed and crossed his arms. "Okay, now say that again so I can actually _hear_ what you're saying."

He really didn't _want_ Kwest to understand what he was saying. But, he did come to his best friend for advice and he had to actually tell him of the incident before he could get said advice.

"I kissed Jude," he finally admitted.

Kwest swore under his breath and smacked Tommy upside the head. The water bottle in his hands promptly fell to the floor because of the unexpected contact and Tommy quickly returned the favor and punched Kwest in the arm. "What the hell?!"

"I could ask you the same thing! What the hell were you thinking?!"

"It's not like it was a make-out session for crying out loud! As soon as she realized she was actually kissing me back, she ended it."

Tommy sighed and cringed as he realized that disappointment had managed to lace through his words. Was he disappointed?

"And you sound like that's a bad thing." Kwest shook his head sadly and gazed at Tommy sympathetically. "Maybe it's for the best that she pushed you away."

"What?" he asked sharply. "What do you mean?"

"Tom. You seem to be forgetting one very important key factor in all of this."

"And what would that be?"

"Jude."

"Jude? What do you mean?"

"Come on man, you know damn well what I mean! You remember two years ago, right? You remember when I came over to L.A. and found you so smashed that you wound up in the hospital?" When Tommy didn't say anything, Kwest solemnly nodded his head and a laugh escaped his throat. Though it sounded anything but amused. "No? Well _I_ do."

"I do remember that. I just try to forget it."

"Well you shouldn't. Have you even _tried_ finding her? I mean _really_ tried?" he asked quietly.

Tommy's jaw clenched and he angrily got off the chair, knocking it over in the process. "Of course I have! I want that part of my life over damn it!" he asked, his arms flailing wildly in his sudden outburst. "I have no control over this! Don't you think—?"

"Look I'm just asking. It's never really been that important before—"

"So what the hell makes it so important now?!"

"Because it's Jude, man. You need to get your head straight and figure out what this all means. She deserves at least that much."

Tommy sighed and drew in a shaky breath. "I know."

* * *

"You kissed him?!" Sadie shouted shrilly.

Jude cringed as her sister shouted that and brought her knees to her chest. This was the last thing she wanted to be speaking to Sadie about. She could just hear it now, _"Jude, that's so irresponsible,"_ and that would usually be the point where she tuned out everything else that Sadie had to say.

"Hey. _I_ didn't kiss him. He kissed me, thank you!"

"But you kissed him back! You said so yourself!"

"Don't remind me," she groaned.

This was not going well. Not at all. Sadie wasn't supposed to have come into their living room and bombarded her with questions about what the hell was going on between her and Tommy. Jude had tried many times to get her relentless sister to let it drop and not keep pushing that topic, but Sadie just didn't seem to get that Jude had no desire to talk about that lip-lock with Tommy.

Sadie slowly walked over to the couch and wrapped an arm around her, rubbing her hand up and down her back in a soothing motion like she had so many times when they were younger. She rested her chin on the top of Jude's head and whispered, "It's okay."

As soon as Sadie uttered those words, Jude felt the guilt spring up all over again and started crying, once again. It wasn't fair. It wasn't even like she was the one that initiated everything. _And_, she pushed him away. So why did she feel so damn guilty about it?

While she was crying, Sadie said nothing more. She was just there, letting her younger sister cry it all out.

Finally, when the tears subsided, she sniffled a little and wiped the remaining tears away. "I feel sick, Sadie. I cheated on my boyfriend," she managed to croak out. "I'm no better than Dad or Eden."

Sadie grabbed her by the shoulders and forced Jude to face her. When she finally looked up and saw the expression on Sadie's face, she was actually a little scared.

"Never, and I mean _never_, say that again. Do you understand me?"

Jude didn't say anything; she couldn't. That's how she felt. She knew what she did wasn't necessarily quite as bad, but it was still cheating. Her lips were on a guy's who wasn't her boyfriend. And she had liked it. No, scratch that. She had _loved_ it. So much so that she had a dream about kissing him again and not only dreaming about it, but wishing it would actually happen again and not just in her dreams.

"Jude?" she questioned firmly. "Do you hear me?"

"I hear you Sades. But I can't help how I feel."

Once more, silence passed. She couldn't seem to think of anything else to say and it appeared as though Sadie couldn't either. But as she was getting ready to get up off the couch to leave the living room, Sadie's voice stopped her.

"So what's this really about, Jude?"

"What are you talking about?"

Sadie offered a small smile. "You forget that I know you, baby sister. There's more to this than what you're telling me, isn't there?" When Jude sighed and sank back into the couch, Sadie nodded knowingly. "That's what I thought. What's going on?"

"I don't know. Everything's so screwed up right now and I'm so confused. Johnny's not talking to me, I've barely spoken to Jamie the past couple days, and then to make matters even worse, Tommy and I have been getting closer than even I'd care to admit."

"Ah. Sounds like that would be enough to make any girl confused."

"I am. I don't think I've ever been this unsure of anything before." She paused and turned around on the couch so that she was now facing Sadie and sitting with her legs crossed, Indian-style. "Like when he kissed me, I…"

"You what?"

"I didn't want to push him away. I wanted it, just as much as he did."

"So what does that mean?"

"I don't know. I wish I did. But it's like ever since Tommy came into the picture, my world has been turned entirely upside down. I thought before that Jamie was it for me."

"And now? Now what?"

"I don't know," she repeated. "It's weird. When Tommy first came back, I hated him. Despised him with every fiber of my being and wanted nothing to do with him. And now. Now, he gets me in ways that Jamie never has. He and I connect in a way that scares the shit out of me."

"So, what does that mean for you and Jamie? What do you want?"

"I'm not even sure myself. When I'm with Tommy, sparks fly. Even if our skin just brushes in the most innocent way possible, I can feel it all the way down to my toes and Jamie's never once had that kind of affect on me. I mean, yeah, there's chemistry between me and Jamie, but it's like, my whole life, the settings been set on a seven and then Tommy cranked it up to eleven."

"So the question is, how do you feel about Tommy? Yeah, you said that there's great physical chemistry and that you two connect, but that still doesn't say how you _really_ feel about the guy."

At that question, Jude remained silent. She wanted to answer her sister. She really did. But the problem was that she didn't know the answer to the question. She had stopped herself from feeling anything for him romantically and she wasn't entirely certain she wanted to open that can of worms. As much as she and Tommy connected, he scared her. She still didn't know a lot about him and she had a feeling that she was missing a great deal of the puzzle piece. He's never been entirely up front and honest with her, so how could she trust him?

"Well, I'd say you need to figure out how you feel about the guy before anything else happens. Otherwise, you'd not only be hurting yourself, but Jamie and Tommy as well."

Sadie placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and got up and left the living room, leaving Jude with her thoughts.

She certainly did have a lot to think about, that much was certain.

Did she want to stay with Jamie after knowing what it could be like with another guy, with _him_? Jamie was the safe choice; he was stable, dependable, and she had known Jamie for her entire life. She was comfortable with him.

But she wasn't so sure that was what she wanted anymore. For as long as she could remember, she'd always played it safe.

Maybe it was time she did things a little differently.


	14. Chapter 13

Phew!

You are all caught up to the number of chapters I have written out, now! Yay!

This next chapter that you all are getting is _long_, so I apologize for that. I know some readers don't really like long chapters, but I didn't want to split this, so my apologies. Hope all of you still enjoy it, all the same.

The next part of this story delves into Tommy's past. We get a small peek inside his head, so hopefully, that part kicks ass! Lol.

Thanks so much for all the reviews! They really do make my day and I'm always excited to read what all of you think about this story!

Please continue reviewing! You all rock!

Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star. Damn.

* * *

**Chapter 13**

For the next few weeks, things were beyond tense between him and Jude. She was back to picking fights with him, and he was back to feeling like the big vein in his head was going to pop any second.

Anytime he even _hinted_ about the kiss, she tensed and got angry with him, which usually resulted with either her chewing him out, or storming out of the studio. He didn't understand where the sudden wrath was coming from. Every time their skin just even innocently brushed, he could feel her tense, see her hands ball up into fists and then when he would turn around, sometimes he could even hear her cursing under her breath.

Much to his amusement, he wasn't the only one she was picking fights with. Andrews was apparently getting a good chunk of her wrath as well and as much as he didn't want to, he did feel bad for the guy. Every time she would lay into him, he would look so confused by her actions, clearly not understanding what he had done to deserve such a tongue-lashing.

There had been one day that was so bad that he didn't want anyone else getting whiplash from her verbal assaults. He had spotted Andrews coming into the studio and had luckily found a free second to tell an intern that was nearby to inform Jamie to get out while he still could. Tommy had watched forlornly as he quickly retreated out of G-Major.

As much as she yelled and bickered at him, it wasn't to say that he didn't dish it back just as much as he received it, though. Sometimes the arguments between them escalated so badly that people would actually come into the studio to check on them. Most of the time, though, as soon as they entered, they would quickly leave with just a couple of glares from himself and Jude. No words would need to be said for them to get the picture that they weren't welcome in the middle of whatever shouting match they were in.

And today, they were in the middle of yet another argument. Now, she was fighting with him about a small chord change. Again.

He let out a frustrated groan and felt his jaw clenching. "We're changing the chord!"

"And I said I have no problems changing the chord! I just want a different one than the one you suggested! I don't like that one."

"Well that's too damn bad! It'll work better with the one that I originally suggested and you know it."

"And I say that it will work better with _my_ chord change!"

"Yeah, well, I'm the producer, so, guess who wins?"

Her jaw tightened and she angrily threw her notebook at him, which proceeded to him square in the face. "What the hell?!" he shouted as he caught the journal in his hands.

"I am so _sick_ of your annoying little power trips that you have!"

"Oh yeah? Well I'm sick of the fact that you have been picking fights with me for almost three weeks straight now! And over the stupidest shit, too! It's like ever since—"

"Don't go there, Quincy," she warned. Her eyes had narrowed and her nostrils were flaring, but he didn't care. Ever since that stupid kiss, things had gone from bad to worse between them and it was time that it ended. He was tired of it.

"I think it's time we went there! We haven't exactly talked about it, you know."

"And there's a reason for it! It shouldn't have happened in the first place!"

"Stop! Stop saying that!"

"Just drop this now. Can we start working on the song again, please?" she asked irritably.

"Oh, so you can fight with me some more over the same thing that we've been fighting about for the past week now? It's getting so old!"

"You know something, you're right. It is getting old. I'm tired of this."

"Thank you! Finally, we agree on something!"

She shook her head slowly and her gaze focused on him now. He didn't particularly care for the look in her eyes while she was staring at him. "I don't think you get it Tommy. I'm _tired_. I can't do this anymore."

A sick feeling bubbled up from the pit of his stomach. He didn't like where this was going. "What are you talking about?"

She sighed and brushed her hair out of her face, took a deep breath and spoke so quietly that he wasn't even sure that he heard her. "You're fired."

A pregnant silence engulfed the room. Shock filtered through him. She was joking. She had to be. They had had worse fights than this and all they ever needed was just a cooling off period. Then everything would start all over again just like it had the day before.

"What?" he croaked out.

She shut her eyes and sucked in her breath once more. "You're fired," she repeated.

Her voice had cracked and she started walking out of the studio. He was too shocked to do anything to stop her, so he just stood there like an idiot while she stormed off.

He had no idea what the hell was going on anymore. He didn't think things were that bad.

But as the shock wore off, he realized that Jude's voice had, indeed, cracked as she bit out the second time that he was fired. He knew her well enough by now to know that something else was going on. Whether or not her frustrations were still entirely because of them, he had no idea. But he knew it was something.

He grabbed his keys and rushed out of the studio, feeling anger slowly replacing his shock. She didn't get to fire him and not talk to him about it.

He spotted Spiederman goofing off with SME in the lobby and he had a feeling that her lead guitarist knew where she was.

"Spied! Where'd Jude go?" he demanded.

He briefly glanced up at Tommy while Wally and Kyle were still throwing food at each other.

"How should I know? I'm not the lady's keeper."

"Vince, in case you haven't noticed, I'm already pissed off and right now, the anger is not directed at you. So unless you'd like it to be, you're going to tell me where she went. Right now."

He could hear Spied swallow as his eyes widened. "Rehearsal space."

"Thank you."

* * *

Jude slammed the door to the rehearsal space and started pacing. It wasn't fair. She was just starting to get used to the guy again and now she had to realize that she wanted him? That dream that she had a few weeks ago was too real for her liking. It didn't bode well with her. Not to mention the fact that it was a recurring dream as of late. She hated it. It always left her feeling uncomfortably warm and sweaty and it made it difficult to even look at Tommy anymore.

The past few weeks, she had been so damn frustrated with everything and the easiest way for her to get anything accomplished was to keep Tommy at a distance, a distance that included him as far away from her as physically possible. Any time his skin even _brushed_ hers, her own flared with heat and it was all she could do to not shove him up against a wall and start kissing him senseless.

But he didn't know any of that. It was impossible for him to know any of that. Especially when she had been making it clear that their brief lip-fused encounter should and would never happen again. He didn't seem to like that too much, but she didn't really give a damn. She had felt horrible enough the first time it had happened.

The guilt of kissing him and wanting to kiss him every time they were alone together had escalated to the point where she just couldn't take it anymore. When she had made a decision that maybe it was time for a change, she had been committed to it—at first. But every time she made a move to actually _act _and make the change possible, she couldn't do it. Not when she knew how badly Jamie would get crushed in everything. He meant too much to her for her to do something that cold, that cruel. So, her frustrations continued to grow and she decided to take most of them out on Tommy. It wasn't fair, but it was the best she could do, especially with her feeling as miserable as she did about everything. So that, among other things, had resulted in her brash decision to fire him.

She hadn't spoken to Georgia about it—she had just needed to get out of G-Major as fast as she could. Perhaps when she had a clear head about everything, she would go to her boss and calmly explain her decision about firing Tommy.

Her chest tightened at the thought and she couldn't remember how she had gotten so attached to him in such a short amount of time. It didn't seem right. It was as though his absence the past three years meant nothing to her anymore and she had just gone with it. She continued to feel more and more connected with the ex-boybander and the thought of her not working with him anymore wasn't one she necessarily liked.

They made great music together. She knew that much. The music was easy.

It was everything else that was the problem.

Out of nowhere, she heard a loud banging noise. She groaned loudly when she realized that it was probably Tommy. This was not good. She didn't need to be near him right now.

Attempting to ignore the obscene banging, she tried to concentrate on playing her guitar, just to try and drown out the sound. Instead of her plan working, the knocking only got louder.

She let out a frustrated groan and reluctantly walked over to the door, feeling pissed off. She slowly unlocked the door and creaked it open.

Sure enough, Tom Quincy was on the other side of the door, looking as angry as she felt. "Go away," she mumbled.

She heard him curse under his breath and the next thing she knew, the door was being flung open and Tommy had stormed in the rehearsal space. "Get out!"

"I don't think so, girl. Not until you tell me what the hell you were thinking when you fired me!"

"Just go away, damn it!"

"No! What is your deal, Jude? Look, I told you I'm sorry that I kissed you! I don't understand what the problem is!"

"Well you wouldn't!" she declared angrily.

"You're being ridiculous! It was one kiss, Jude! _One._ And it's not even like it lasted that long either! I—wait a second. That's what all of this is about, isn't it?"

Jude's eyes narrowed. If she wasn't confused before, she sure as hell was now. "You lost me here, Quincy."

"You felt it. When we kissed. You _did_ kiss me back, whether you want to admit it or not. That's why you've been pushing me away these past few weeks, isn't it? You're scared of spending more time alone with me, aren't you?"

She tried denying it, not wanting to feed into his impossible ego. But every single time she tried to open her mouth, she couldn't get the right words out. It was useless. So instead, she rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms and gave him the dirtiest look she could muster. "Get over yourself, Quincy. I don't want you," she lied.

He smirked and started walking closer. She felt her eyes widening as she instinctively took a few steps back. "What are you doing?"

"Well, you don't want me, right? So it shouldn't bother you being so close to me."

"It doesn't."

"You're a bad liar. You're so uncomfortable right now. You can feel the electricity between us increasing, the _want_ increasing," he declared with certainty.

She gulped as she stared into his desire filled eyes. He was holding nothing back. "You don't know me, Tommy. Stop pretending like you do." Though her words were intended to cut him, she knew they wouldn't have the desired effect because they lacked any intensity they needed. She was weak. _He_ was weakening her.

His smirk simply grew wider at her words and he shook his head, clearly amused by her antics.

She _was_ uncomfortable with him being this close to her, so she continued her backwards walk and with each step backwards, he took equal steps forward until she was finally backed up against a wall.

He placed his left hand by her waist and his right up by her head, creating a trap without even touching her. Her breathing quickened and she silently cursed her body for betraying her like this.

He leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "This doesn't make you uncomfortable, huh? Tell me you don't want me and I'll back away."

As she opened her mouth to do just that, the words fell flat. She couldn't say it. "I…" _Come on, Jude. Just finish the sentence._ But she couldn't, and she knew she couldn't.

His face was serious as he shook his head. "You can't say it, can you?"

He leaned his forehead against hers and she closed her eyes, unable to bring herself to look at him. She felt his fingertips graze her cheek and then they slowly moved down to trace the curve of her jaw line.

After he was finished with that, he moved his index finger from her chin to her mouth, slowly replaced it with his thumb and began moving it along her lips. Her breath hitched and she suddenly forgot how to breathe.

She dared to open her eyes and found that his lips were mere centimeters away from her own. She wanted it. Oh did she ever.

But as she saw him leaning in to close the gap, fear enveloped her. She remembered all the reasons she didn't trust him, all the reasons she needed to stay away from him. She remembered how guilty she had felt the last time, she remembered Jamie.

"Tommy," she croaked, her voice barely above a whisper.

He groaned and let his left hand fall to his side. "Don't."

"We can't."

"Why?"

_Why Jude? Tell him why you can't do this. _Her brain remained blank momentarily as she tried to fumble for the right words. She swallowed nervously. "I have a boyfriend."

Tommy's eyes darkened and he quickly backed away from her, shaking his head angrily. "That's really convenient, isn't it?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked hotly. She was slowly starting to regain her wits now that she was at a comfortable distance from him.

"It means that I bet Andrews never once crossed your mind until you realized that it was happening again. That you _wanted_ it to. As soon as things get intense like this between us, you suddenly have a boyfriend," he said smartly.

"Don't say things like that. You don't know what you're talking about. I'm with Jamie. _He_ is my boyfriend!"

He shook his head again, still looking very upset and frustrated. "No, he's not."

Confusion filled her as he tried to contradict her statement. Jamie _was_ her boyfriend. What the hell was he talking about? "Excuse me?"

"He's your excuse to hide behind," he declared with so much venom and bitterness that she had a hard time believing that it was him saying it.

When she didn't say anything, he continued shaking his head and quickly left the rehearsal space, slamming the door behind him in the process.

She released a breath she hadn't been aware she'd been holding and felt tears spring to her eyes. Instead of trying to blink them back she fell to the floor and wrapped her arms around her knees and released heart-wrenching sobs.

She hated crying. But she felt as though she had the right at the moment.

Tommy had voiced what she had been too afraid to admit. She was using Jamie; she was using Jamie as an excuse to stay away from _him_. And it had to stop. It wasn't fair to anybody.

She needed to get her shit together and take control of her life again. But for now, she just wanted to cry some more…

* * *

She didn't know when, but at some point during her crying fit, she had gotten herself up off the floor and moved over to the old couch in her rehearsal space, wrapping the afghan hanging over the side tightly around her and had fallen asleep. She didn't cry herself to sleep again, though. Thank God. The tears had thankfully stopped shortly after they had begun. Lately she felt like that's all she had been doing was crying and she despised it. But, despite the subsided tears, she hadn't felt any better. In fact, if anything, she felt worse.

Therefore, unsurprisingly, although she had fallen asleep, she hadn't had a good sleep.

So when a quiet knocking at the door woke her up, she was still slightly disoriented and didn't even think about the fact that it could be Tommy again.

But when she opened the door a surprise greeted her.

"Johnny?"

Shock filtered through every fiber of her being. Johnny was certainly the last person she would have expected to show up on her doorstep. Things between them had not gotten any better the past few weeks, and she had basically abandoned all hope that things would ever get better.

As she took in the sight of him, she couldn't remember a time where he ever looked this bad. Except for maybe her accident.

He had grown a thick mass of stubble, and he looked so unkempt and so tired that even his bags had bags. She couldn't stop her hand from covering her mouth at the shock of how terrible he looked.

"Hi," he said quietly. "Can I come in?"

Wordlessly, she stood aside and gestured for him to come in and quietly closed the door behind her.

Neither one spoke a word for what seemed like hours, but really was probably only a few minutes. Her nerves were getting the best of her and she couldn't think of a thing to say to him as he stood there, avoiding her gaze all the while.

"I'm sorry!" he blurted out.

She was, once again, shocked when she saw tears spill out of his eyes. He finally looked at her and her heart nearly broke at the sight. "I'm so sorry."

She took the few necessary steps she needed and quickly wrapped her arms around him, trying to offer him as much comfort as she possibly could. He instantly returned the embrace and buried his head in the crook of her neck. She could tell he was crying, but he was trying to be as quiet as possible. Johnny despised letting himself cry and only ever did so when he was incredibly upset. She'd only ever seen the man cry twice, including right now.

When she tried to pull out of the hug, he only pulled her back in tighter, refusing to let go. "I missed you," he whispered.

She sighed, wanting to be angry with him for putting her through this unnecessary hell these past couple of months, but she found herself unable to do so. Not when she missed him so much and not when she could tell how much he was beating himself up over it already. She couldn't bring herself to be angry with him. "I missed you too, babe."

He finally pulled back from the tight hold they had both had on each other and rested his forehead against her own. "I'm an idiot."

"Go on," she said humorlessly.

"A moron, among other things, and I'm also incredibly selfish and stupid for ignoring you these past couple months."

"So why did you?" she asked, feeling tears spring up in her eyes. It still hurt, even though he was standing right in front of her.

He took a deep breath and walked over to the couch so he could sit down and gestured for her to do the same. As she slowly followed him, he started explaining himself. "I lied, Jude."

Her eyes narrowed as a frown graced her lips. "What are you talking about?"

"Do you remember back when we were still talking all the time?" She nodded and patiently waited for him to continue. "I told you that I loved it in L.A. I told you that everything was great, that I loved work and my artists… basically I told you anything I could to make you believe that it was true. But it wasn't. It was the farthest thing from being true."

"Why?" she asked quietly.

"I was drowning, Jude. The hours were so long that I barely had time to go to my apartment and shower and get a clean pair of clothes on, my artists are the biggest bunch of… I just couldn't deal with it all.

"And when we would talk, it wasn't doing my sanity much good. Every time I heard your voice, I just wanted to get on the next plane back to Toronto. I thought that it might be easier—"

"To ignore me," she finished sadly.

He quietly nodded his head. "Turns out I was wrong about that, too. I thought that maybe if I ignored you, things would get better, but instead, they only got worse. When I _was_ finally able to make it to my apartment and get some sleep, I couldn't get my head to turn off for the night, or day, whichever time it fell under. I couldn't deal with the guilt; I couldn't deal with… with not being able to talk to you."

"You could have talked to me, though. You know that."

"I didn't. By the time I had finally decided to call you back, you had beaten me to the punch when you called and Jane answered the phone. I had just gotten to the phone and you had already hung up. I tried calling you back, but you were giving me a dose of my own medicine and ignoring me, so I didn't know what to make of it. I thought that maybe I had finally succeeded in pushing you away and when that happened, I didn't like that thought much.

"These last three weeks have been like I was living in my own personal hell. The thought of not having you in my life anymore at all was killing me—"

"Hey, that doesn't matter anymore, okay? What matters is that you wised up to the fact that you were being a class A moron and flew all the way back here to tell me so. This is better than any phone call, Johnny."

He offered a small smile and pulled her to him so that she was cuddled up against his chest. She hadn't realized how much she missed the feeling of this. "I missed you," she whispered.

He sighed sadly and pulled her closer to him. "I know, babe. I know."

* * *

Tommy sat at the bar and ran a wary hand over his face dejectedly. He'd been coming here for a while and nodded when the bartender, Pete, came over to him. "Hey Pete. How's it going?"

"Slow. But then again, it is rather early for most bar patrons, Tom."

He sighed and rolled his eyes. Pete was the only bartender who ever cautioned him about drinking. Sometimes he was grateful for the fact that Pete really seemed to care, but other times, like now, he almost resented it.

"I know. But it's Happy Hour somewhere, right?"

Pete shook his head and gave Tommy an amused smirk. "Scotch?"

Tommy nodded and offered Pete a small smile of thanks. Okay, so maybe it was a little early for him to be at a bar, but he needed something to calm his nerves. Once Pete poured the drink, he placed it in front of Tommy and busied himself behind the bar. He knew Tommy well enough by now to not ask questions until he had at least four or five drinks in his system. He swirled the liquid around in his glass before taking a drink, feeling it burn all the way down, but not really caring. Nobody managed to get under his skin quite like Jude Harrison.

He couldn't believe how much their roles had changed over the years. When he had first started working with her back when she initially won the _Instant Star_ competition, he had done everything in his power to keep her at arms' length. It was easy for him to see that she got him like nobody else, that she had understood him. And that's what had made it so bad for him. The girl had only been fifteen; he had been twenty-two. It had killed him knowing that a girl that young understood the way his twisted mind worked. And he had no idea why, but she had looked up to him, believed in him. He loved that she looked at him with the look that only she could give. It was a look that he only ever saw her give to him and he hadn't been willing to crush that. He wasn't that guy and he hadn't wanted to allow himself become that guy.

Not long after he had started producing her, his brother Tristain had called with news about their mother. He had been taking care of her ever since Tommy could remember; but when Tristain had had to get a job and help take care of bills, he had needed his big brother's help. At first, Tommy had offered to send him some money and take care of whatever they needed, but Tristain had been too proud and unwilling to accept his help in that way. His little brother had gotten so mad that he had almost taken back the request for him to go back to New Brunswick and help look after their mother.

But Tommy quickly apologized and had told him that whatever he needed, he would be there.

After he had given it some thought, he had realized that it was the perfect opportunity, the perfect excuse to get away. That call from Tristain had been like a Godsend. As much as he had hated the reason for leaving, he had eagerly taken the chance to get away from Toronto—away from _her_. His self-control had been slipping and with each passing day, it had been getting more and more difficult to be the responsible one, the levelheaded one. So, he had told Tristain he would get there as soon as he could and that had been that.

Once he had left, he had wanted to call Jude. In fact, he had pulled her number up and been ready to call her so many times it was ridiculous. The need to talk to her when he had found out what had happened with her and Shay had been overwhelming. But he had known that she had had a good support system and that the last thing she would have needed would be him calling and making an even bigger mess out of things.

He swallowed the last of his drink and slid the glass over to Pete. "Can I get another, please?"

Pete gave Tommy a scolding look that reminded him of the look most fathers gave their kids when they were doing something wrong. But, the graying man sighed and conceded, knowing it was pointless to try to convince Tommy otherwise that it was stupid to try and drink his problems away.

Once Pete placed the drink back on his napkin, Tommy's thoughts drifted back to Jude.

After he had decided not to call her after the Shay incident, he had made an even bigger decision that hadn't been easy. He had made a promise to himself that he wouldn't even pay attention to what was going on with her anymore in the media. Anything that had had to do with Jude Harrison, he ignored. Any time Jude was brought up in conversation, he shot that topic down. It was like she had ceased to exist to him. Or so he deluded himself into believing.

While he had started to put into practice the decision to cut Jude completely out of his life, he threw himself into working on his own music and taking care of his mother. That had not been a good time in his life. He and his mother had never gotten along.

He had been a troublemaker in his youth and Tristain had been the golden-child. He could do no wrong. Tommy, on the other hand, could do no right. In fact, even when he _had_ managed to do something even halfway decent, his mother would look for all the flaws and find some way to shoot it down. His knack for getting into trouble had always managed to piss her off, which wasn't good, considering the fact that she was a heavy drinker. He couldn't remember how many times his own mother had shouted at him and called him worthless, told him that she was embarrassed to have him as a son.

He had done everything in his power to shield Tristain from that pain. When their mother would go on her drinking binges and he would know it was going to be a night that led to some form of abuse, he would kneel down in front of his little brother and tell him to go play in his room and no matter what he heard, he had to stay in there and be quiet. Tommy would take whatever she had to dish—as long as she had stayed the hell away from Tristain, he hadn't cared what she did to _him_. Eventually, she would always fall asleep on the couch and Tommy would quietly sneak back to check on Tristain, who never understood why his big brother would get bruises and Tommy never bothered explaining it to him. He had always just laughed, ruffled his younger brother's hair and told him that he had a klutz for a big brother.

Even though it hadn't been his childhood anymore, it didn't change things much. The Alzheimer's disease only made things worse. It was like his mother was trapped in the past, which forced Tommy to relive his most painful childhood memories; memories he'd just as soon forget existed, memories he'd always protected Tristain from. When Tristain would get home from work and find their mother yelling and screaming at Tommy, he had tried to mediate the best that he could, but it had gotten to the point where it had even been too much for Tristain. His younger brother had seen the affect that everything was having on Tommy and had suggested that they finally put her in a home. Tommy had refused, but Tristain had admitted that he wasn't stupid, that he had finally figured out what had gone on all those years ago. He had practically begged Tommy for the chance to return the favor and finally be the one that did the protecting. So they had both collaborated and found a home to put her in. It had not been an easy decision to make, but they both knew it had been for the best.

Shortly after he and his brother had put their mother in a home, he'd gone out to California. Which was probably the worst mistake in his life. L.A. had not been a grand experience for him. The months before with his mother had taken a bad toll on him and had hardened him to the point of nearly no return. He had begun his slow path of self-destruction even before he had made the decision to go to California. So, add a party town into the mix and the results would equal disaster.

And then, finally after spending a few weeks in California, he came back to Canada and had met _her_. He refused to allow himself to even think her name; it still made him too angry. She had been the first person since Jude to not take his shit. When he had started producing again, she had been his first artist and when he would put on his tough guy act, she had seen right through it and had always called him on his bullshit. Anytime he'd try to engage her in a shouting match, she would merely rolled her eyes at him and tell him to calm down before he popped a blood vessel. Despite himself, he allowed a small smile at that memory.

He shook his head roughly, not allowing himself to think about it. He wouldn't go there, back to that time. Not if he could help it, or had any say in the matter.

He looked down at his glass and was ready to take a drink and hadn't even noticed that his drink was empty again. But, when he did, he slid it back over to the other side of the bar, not even saying that he would take another. Pete simply nodded reluctantly and refilled it.

Now he was back in Toronto and Jude had, once again, despite his assertions to not allow her to, managed to break through those walls that he had so carefully built and she didn't even realize it. She was important to him, more important than he'd like to admit. And any time he felt as though things were good, she'd pull back and distance herself from him. It was damn frustrating and he couldn't help but think about how ironic this all was. He had always been the one to run away from things, and now it seemed as though he was pushing for her to accept him in her life.

He took another drink and quickly pulled out his phone when it began ringing. He hesitated before answering it once he saw who it was, though. "Yeah?"

"Hey man. How's it going?"

He took a deep breath and shook his head. "Honestly, not too great."

There was a pause on the other end. "Where are you?"

"The bar on 12th Street."

"Stay put. I'll be there in a little bit."

And the next thing he heard was the dial tone. He sighed loudly and couldn't believe that he had actually been honest about how he was doing. It was pretty shocking to him. The only possible explanation would have to be that the alcohol was finally working its way into his system. Otherwise, he would have lied flat out and said he was fine.

Much to his frustration, his mind wandered back to Jude. He hated that she could do that. It was like she yielded this power over him… like he was no longer the one in control over his own life. It seemed that no matter what he did, his thoughts always managed to drift back to Jude.

It didn't seem fair that she was treating their relationship like it was nothing, like it had no effect on her at all.

He couldn't believe that she actually fired him and was sticking to it. Yes, he remembered that she hadn't rehired him back at the rehearsal space. And it didn't seem like she was going to anytime soon.

He hated that word would get back to Darius. His boss's final warning floated through his mind: _"This is your last chance. Don't screw it up." _Things had been going so well and he had blown it because he couldn't control his damn hormones. Now, he was screwed.

He quickly swallowed the last of his drink and eyed the empty glass condemningly.

"Hey Pete. Can you get me another?"

Pete eyed Tommy warily as he wiped the counter down. "Are you sure about that, Tom?"

He glared at Pete and let out a bitter laugh. "Let's see, Pete. My life is a mess right now. Things had started going in the right direction, but now it's all gone to shit. My artist just fired my sorry ass and this was my last shot, so it looks like I'll be out of a job soon. So, yeah. I'm pretty damn sure that I'd like another."

"One scotch, coming right up."

* * *

Johnny walked into the bar, shaking the rainwater off from his jacket. On his way to meet Tommy, it had started pouring and he was thankful he had gotten a taxi before the rain started.

Once he stepped over the threshold of hole-in-the-wall bar, he immediately spotted Tommy and sighed. He looked worse than Johnny would have guessed over the phone.

Tom was in mid-drink when he walked over to the bar and glanced up at the bartender. Johnny shook his head solemnly and got the guy's attention behind the counter. "He'll have a water," Johnny said as he pointed to Tommy. After he situated himself at the bar, he got the man's attention again. "Actually, can you make that two waters, please?"

"Ah, Johnny. Glad to see that you took my advice and came back to Toronto," Tommy said cheerfully as he took another sip of his drink. "Maybe you'll have better luck with Jude than me." He raised his glass as though he were toasting. "Cheers," he said as he swallowed the last of his drink.

He eyed Tommy warily, unsure of just how drunk the man was. He couldn't even believe that he was at a bar this time of day. "What happened?"

Tommy scowled and glanced over at Johnny. "Shouldn't you be with Jude right now? Oh no, wait. That's right. You two have probably kissed and made up already," he laughed bitterly.

"Jude's asleep," he remarked offhandedly, not bothering to tell him that he was right, that they had basically 'kissed and made up', as he liked to call it.

The bartender placed the waters in front of them and Johnny motioned for Tommy to pick it up and drink it. He made a face of distaste when the water went down his throat. "Ugh. This would taste so much better if it were alcohol. Maybe vodka!"

"Tom, come on. Be serious. What's going on?"

He sighed and looked down at the countertop, clearly not wanting to spill his guts. So, Johnny waited patiently and began drinking his water. Minutes passed before Tom finally whispered, "Jude fired me."

Johnny's eyes widened. "What?"

"Did you forget to clean out your ears this morning, Summers, or did L.A. burn out all of your brain cells and you're suddenly just too stupid to comprehend what I'm saying? She. Fired. Me," he repeated angrily.

_Okay, so he's a pissy drunk,_ Johnny thought to himself while trying to keep a straight face.

Instead of getting angry, like Tommy clearly expected him to, he couldn't stop the twitch that formed at the corner of his lips and he simply gave him an amused smirk. There was nothing humorous about the situation, though. That much was clear.

He cleared his throat, composed himself, and faced Tommy. "What happened? I thought things were okay now?"

"Oh? Jude didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?" he asked, feeling more confused than ever.

"I kissed her," he laughed. "And she's been picking fights with me ever since and then she fired me over a damn chord change argument. Nice, huh?"

Johnny sighed. He was going to have to have a little talk with his favorite blonde. She had definitely lied to him when she had told him everything was fine. He should have known, though. Now that he thought about it, she did seem rather skittish when Tom had come up in the conversation. He was off his game and that would definitely have to be something that he fixed.

"Come on, Tom. Let's get you home."

"I'm good here. There's an endless supply of booze here in case you haven't noticed."

"Which is exactly why we're leaving. Let's go."

"Tom, listen to your friend. Go home," the man behind the counter instructed.

Tommy heaved a sigh of defeat. "I guess you're right, Pete." Johnny watched as Tommy pulled out his wallet and laid a 50 on the counter. "Keep the change, man. I don't need it."

When they got outside, Tommy reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys. Johnny's eyes widened and he placed a hand on Tom's chest to stop him from going anywhere. "Yeah right. Keys. Hand 'em over."

"I'm perfectly fine. I've driven in worse conditions than this," he admitted.

At Tommy's confession, flashes of totaled cars flew into his mind. Blood on the road. Fear.

Johnny's jaw clenched as he remembered and Tommy's unconcerned attitude about driving like this only pissed him off more. It was taking all of his willpower that he possessed to not punch the living daylights out of the man. "Keys," he demanded.

Tommy rolled his eyes and tossed the keys in the air as he made his way to his car.

Honestly, Johnny was surprised that he didn't fight with him any further on the matter. Guys like him never conceded that easily, especially when they were as obsessed with their vehicles as Tommy was.

Not questioning it, Johnny raced to the driver's side, started the car, and tore off down the streets of Toronto.

As he glanced briefly over at Tommy, whose head was resting against his seat with his eyes shut, he realized that there was probably more going on here than he originally thought. And before he went back to L.A., he needed to figure out what the hell was going on between Tommy and Jude.

* * *

A/N: Okay, I realize some of you are probably getting frustrated with Jude (and me--hehe), but please, please have faith. I promise, I'm almost positive that the next chapter is going to be full of Jommy goodness... well, Jommy progress, anyway. I think you all will like chapter 14.


	15. Chapter 14

Hey all...

Sorry I've kind of neglected this story a little bit. I know, I suck for life. But I have chapters written out. I think I'm up to 18 or something like that...

Anyway, this next chapter is kind of a filler, so my apologies. Chapter 15 is a LOT of Jommy progress, so I'm sorry we can't kind of just skip this one and get to the next one.

Thanks so much for all the reviews! I appreciate them!

Anyway, enough of my ramblings. Here's the next chapter--hope you like it. Please keep on reviewing and I'll keep posting! Hehe.

* * *

**Chapter 14**

The next morning, Tommy woke up with a pounding headache. He vaguely remembered more alcohol being involved after Johnny took him home.

His phone rang loudly and he quickly answered to stop the offensive noise intruding the silence of his room.

"Hello?" he answered groggily.

"T! How's it going?"

Shit. This was the last thing he needed. Why did Darius have to pick _today_ of all days to call and hammer him with questions about how things were going here?

Before he could answer though, Darius quickly rambled on. "Well obviously everything's going great!" Tommy stared in shock. What the hell was this man on? Great? 'Great' wasn't exactly the terminology he'd use.

"Uh—"

"Georgia slipped me a copy of the latest single you and Jude have been working on and I've gotta tell ya, man… it's hot! It's gonna be the next big thing!"

He quirked an eyebrow and a smirk graced his features. Obviously Jude hadn't spoken to Georgia about needing a new producer. Maybe if he played his cards right, just maybe, he could get himself out of this mess and still have a job.

"Thanks, D. Yeah, everything's going good here," he lied.

"See? What'd I tell you? You love producing!" he beamed happily.

Tommy sighed and rolled his eyes. "It's growing on me again," he admitted. "Look, I'd love to chat, but I have to run. I have hit records to produce, you know?"

"Yeah, we'll see about that."

"I guess we will," he said with his smirk still on his face.

"Oh and T. Remember what I said."

And then he heard the dial tone and his smirk was promptly wiped off his face. Of course Darius had to have the last word. Why would he expect any different? It's always been that way—ever since he was in Boyz Attack.

Darius was the boss man and he made certain to remind Tommy every chance that he got that he essentially owned him. Darius was his employer and if he ever did anything against Darius, he'd be screwed. That man had enough power to make his life hell if he stepped out of line. With Big D, it was all about the bottom line.

And Tommy didn't forget that small fact, either.

He needed to figure out a way to get Jude to take him back as his producer again before word got back to Darius. Otherwise, he'd be out of a job.

Just as he was getting ready to crawl out of bed and get ready to start his day and try and talk some sense into Jude, his phone rang. He glanced at the caller ID rolled his eyes.

"Johnny, what's up?"

"Hey man, not much. What are you doing?"

"Uh, I just woke up. Why?"

"Well if you're smart, you'll get dressed and get your butt down to the studio, since you work there and all."

Tommy's eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about? I know I had quite a few drinks yesterday at the bar, but I _do_ remember telling you that Jude fired me."

"Well, don't you know that it's a woman's purgative to change her mind?" he quipped innocently.

"Johnny… what are you up to?"

"Just get your ass down to the studio, Quincy."

Before Tommy had a chance to say anything, Johnny had hung up on him. He had no idea what the hell was going on, but he was far too intrigued to not listen to Summers.

So he quickly showered and dressed, fixed his hair, grabbed a bowl of cereal, brushed his teeth, and headed out the door.

* * *

"Come on, babe. Up," Johnny commanded.

Jude groaned and covered her head with her pillow. "No," she muttered.

He sighed and she could almost _hear_ him rolling his eyes. "Babe, we need to get to the studio."

Curiosity getting the better of her, she peeked out from under her pillow and quirked an eyebrow in Johnny's direction. "In case you've forgotten, I don't technically need to go into the studio today. You see, after you returned home from your little visit with gel-boy, you forced me to admit that I fired him, remember?" After Johnny nodded she rolled her eyes. "So then I can go back to sleep. Go away."

"Come on, you lazy ass. Get your cute little butt out of bed right now."

"No," she whined.

She heard him laughing as she placed her head under the pillow once more. "You know, I could always tell Sadie what _really_ happened to her favorite blouse—"

"Okay, okay. I'm up. Snitch," she mumbled.

Slowly, she turned over onto her back and continued whining all the while. "Oh for goodness' sake, Jude. You're worse than me!"

"Funny, I think the same thing about you. Now help me up," she commanded.

"You can get up yourself," he remarked offhandedly.

Her eyes narrowed as she watched him getting ready to leave and she chucked a pillow at him, causing him to laugh. "Like _that's_ going to convince me to help you? Good job, babe," he yelled as he left the room.

"Jerk!" she screamed after him.

Not only was he was making her get up out of her nice, comfortable bed, but he was refusing to tell her why he was insisting on going into the studio this early, _and_ he was being mean and making her drag herself out of bed. Not cool.

She slowly and deliberately dragged out her morning ritual, just to piss Johnny off.

By the time she had finished, an hour had gone by and when she went down to her living room, Johnny was waiting, impatiently, for her and glared at her upon her entrance. "Well you took your time, didn't you?"

"Yes I did. And now I'm going to get a bowl of cereal—"

She was cut off as he grabbed her by the arm and started dragging her towards the door. "Sorry, Jude. We'll grab something on the way. No cereal for you."

"But—"

"If you hadn't purposefully dragged out the morning, you could have had _two_ bowls of cereal by now. But, as it is, we're running late. So we'll stop somewhere and go through the drive-through really quickly."

She sighed and yanked her arm out of his grasp. "Can't I just grab a Pop Tart instead?"

He rolled his eyes and nodded. "I'll be out in the car. Just grab your precious Pop Tart and be out in the car in two minutes. K?"

Knowing that she had tried his patience enough this morning, she actually did as she was told without question.

After grabbing one of the pastries from the box, she grabbed her jacket and her cell phone before heading out the door. As she walked down the stairs, she saw Johnny was on his phone and looked irritated.

She hung back, unsure of whether or not her presence would only irritate him further.

But she didn't have to wait long because he motioned for her to get in the car and popped her door open for her. By the time she got in, he had hung up.

"Everything okay?"

He let out a sardonic laugh as he backed the car out of the driveway and drove out onto the street. "One of my artists is being pigheaded. I had gotten this approval to come back to Toronto for a visit almost a week ago and I told all of my artists that I would be gone."

"So what's the problem?" she asked as she tore the silver packaging to her Pop Tart open.

"Apparently they're complaining that they have a temporary producer that they're working with. My engineer, Jason, agreed to take over producing while I was away and apparently, they're driving him so insane that he just called me and practically begged me to come back. And trust me—Jason does not beg. It was quite disturbing, really," he added as an afterthought.

"Oh."

She shouldn't have been surprised, really. Johnny had the patience of a saint and if anybody could handle temperamental artists, he could.

But if she was being entirely honest with herself, she would be acknowledging the small twinge of jealousy bubbling up inside the pit of her stomach. She missed when he didn't have other artists to contend with; she missed when he didn't live in another _country_. She missed working with him, spending everyday together with him. She missed _him_.

For a short amount of time, she allowed herself to believe that he was here to stay—and that phone call confirmed that she was wrong, that he was going back.

And that was how it should be. She knew that and she knew that she was being selfish, wanting him to stay. But she couldn't help it. Him coming back for a visit really just magnified how much she had missed him since he'd been away.

"Sounds like you're really missed over there," she said, trying to sound as happy as she could.

He simply chuckled. "I'm not missed. I'm just the only one that can deal with those artists." He let out a grunt and shook his head. "Jason said he'd beg the boss for a pay raise for me if I cut my vacation short and came back tomorrow."

She whipped her head towards him and felt her eyes grow wide. "You're _not_ leaving tomorrow, right?"

He gave her a 'duh' look and laughed. "Come on—you can't honestly think that I'd only come back here for two days and then leave, can you?"

She bit her lip as she contemplated her answer. Quite frankly, she didn't really know what to expect with him anymore. Ever since he tried his 'ignore Jude' plan, she hadn't been sure where their relationship stood anymore. Sure, she was so happy that he flew all the way back to Toronto to settle things, but she still had her doubts and worries about everything.

"Well… I wasn't exactly sure," she admitted truthfully.

He sighed. "I see we have a lot of things to talk about…"

* * *

Tommy glanced at the clocked.

Johnny had said to get to the studio and now he was nowhere to be seen. He'd been sitting in the lobby, waiting for Jude's former producer to get to the label for nearly forty-five minutes. And he was starting to get impatient.

He pulled his cell phone out and was getting ready to call Summers when he saw him and Jude walking through the door.

He quickly put his phone away and got up to go meet them.

But as soon as he approached them, Jude avoided him and quickly scurried out of the room and into the nearest studio. Johnny shook his head disappointedly as he shoved his fists into his jean pockets.

"Don't worry. I'm not letting her talk to Georgia about this. As far as your boss is concerned, you are still Jude's producer."

"Thanks, I appreciate that. You know, it's funny. Normally, I would turn that offer down so fast your head would spin, but I have a feeling I'm going to need all the help I can get with her."

"Oh, you're finally using your head and being reasonable, huh?" Johnny said with a smirk.

"Whatever," he mumbled, although, he couldn't keep a smirk of his own from forming.

"You know what the problem is between you and Jude?"

Tommy grinned. "Oh, do you know the answer to that? Because I've been asking myself that same question for months now and have come up empty handed, so do tell."

"You two are too damn alike."

Tommy blinked. The man was on crack. That was the only reasonable explanation for his _un_reasonable explanation. How the hell were he and Jude even close to similar?

"Uh, care to elaborate?"

"Oh come on? You can't see it?"

Tommy shook his head. There was absolutely no possible way he and Jude were alike.

"No. I can't. And I can't believe you can! Are you on something?"

"Just bear with me and listen for a second, okay?" Tommy glared skeptically at him, but nodded his head, nonetheless. "You both are headstrong, impulsive, stubborn as the day is long, and you both want things your way. It's a recipe for disaster if it's not dealt with properly."

Tommy scowled. "I'm not stubborn," he muttered.

Johnny threw his head back and laughed animatedly. "Oh yeah—you're not stubborn at _all_," he remarked with an eye roll. "Anyway, just hang out for a while. I'm gonna go say hi to a few people and I'll be right back to talk about what we're going to do about Jude."

"I'll just be in Studio A finishing up some mixes. Later."

Johnny went his own way after that, as did he. He made his way into Studio A and found some of the unfinished tracks and began working on them.

As he was working, he became so engrossed with what he was doing that he didn't even realize how much time had passed. Before he knew it, Summers had come into the studio and said it was time for lunch.

"Let's go grab a bite. My treat," he offered.

He stood up and stretched as he grinned. "I never turn down free food."

"Of course you don't," Johnny said laughing. He reached into his left jean pocket, and then quickly started checking all other pockets, and got a panicked look on his face. "Shit. I don't have my phone and I don't even remember where I had it last."

"Well I'll help you look for it."

"Really?"

"Sure. Two heads are better than one, right? Especially when that one head is yours," he quipped sarcastically.

"Oh, burn! How long did it take you to come up with that one? Three days?"

"Funny," he chuckled. "Where do you want me to start looking?"

"Actually, can you check Studio C for me? One of the producers had me run in there really quickly for something earlier and I think I might have left it in there. But I'm just gonna check a few other places to be sure."

"Sure. No problem," he said as he exited the studio.

He made his way to Studio C and saw Jude in the lobby, laughing at something that Andrews had just said. He didn't know why she had to look up at that moment, but as he was passing through, their eyes locked, and he stood still as their eyes bore into each other. For a moment, the rest of the building faded out and it was just the two of them, engaged in a staring contest. He couldn't seem to help himself as he got lost in her tantalizing blue-green orbs.

And then, snapping him back to reality, he watched as Jamie snaked his arms around her waist and nuzzled his nose against her neck. Even as he did that, Jude was still staring at Tommy and then for some reason or another, decided to look away. She turned her full attention to Jamie and smiled as she locked her arms around his neck.

He clenched his fists and quickly turned on his heel, making his way to Studio C.

Once he entered the studio, he kicked at the rolling chair sitting in front of the old soundboard and watched it topple over as he ran both hands through his hair.

"Get it together, Quincy," he mumbled.

He couldn't believe how much he was allowing the sickening sight of Andrews and Jude get to him. She made her choice, so why should he give a damn?

He shook his head roughly, pushing the thought of them together out of his head and began looking for Johnny's phone. After about three minutes of searching in the small studio, he knew it wasn't going to be there.

Turning around to head out, he stopped dead in his tracks when Jude entered the studio.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked, failing to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

She sighed and started moving some chords around. "Johnny asked me to see if his cell phone was in here."

Tom's eyes narrowed and a sick feeling bubbled up in the pit of his stomach. This couldn't mean anything good. "But he just asked me a few minutes ago to do the same thing."

Jude's head snapped up and her eyes widened with the recognition that they had just been duped.

They each started for the door, but it abruptly slammed in their faces and they heard the door handled being jiggled—a clear sign that something was being placed under the knob to lock them in the studio.

Jude started banging on the door. "Damn you, Johnny! Let us out!"

"No can do, rock star. You and Tommy are stuck in there until you work whatever it is that needs working out, out."

Tommy turned around, shook his head, and slid down the length of door and placed his elbows on his knees.

"This is none of your business, Johnny!" she screamed. "Open the door!"

This time, Johnny didn't answer and she kept pounding relentlessly on the poor wooden door. He sighed in frustration and glared at her. "Would you give it up already? He's gone!"

She returned the glare with equal fervor and gave the door one last punch before she finally left it alone. She turned the chair he had knocked over so that it was standing up right and plopped down in the old piece of furniture.

Minutes passed with neither one of them speaking.

He was feeling bored and started clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth and Jude glowered at him. "Would you stop? That's annoying." He paused long enough to make her think he was going to comply with her wishes. She looked shocked and said, "Thank you."

Immediately after she said 'thank you,' he resumed the clicking and she heaved a frustrated sigh and turned around so that she wasn't facing him anymore.

A small smile graced his features, despite the thick tension in the atmosphere.

Maybe Johnny was right. They were more alike than he had originally thought.

* * *

So there it is. I do promise that in upcoming chapters, I think you all will be quite pleased. But I can't give any hints because I don't want to ruin it for everybody. So just bear with me for a bit and your patience shall be rewarded! Promise!!


	16. Chapter 15

Hello!

It's that' time again. Hope you enjoy the update.

Please keep the comments coming. I love reading them.

Thanks for reading!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Instant Star.

* * *

**Chapter 15**

He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but neither one had spoken since Jude's request for him to stop clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. It was eerily silent in Studio C and neither had moved from their spots or had even made a move to sort anything out, which, he knew was stupid considering he had been so determined to get her to re-hire him as her producer.

He sighed, realizing that eventually, he was going to have to cave.

Out of nowhere, though, Jude turned around in her chair with determination etched on her features and beat him to the punch. Because he had thought she was going to stay mute the entire time unless spoken to first, he was mildly intrigued as to what she had to say.

"It's simple really, Quincy."

"What is?"

"The solution to our current predicament."

"Go on," he said skeptically.

"We simply make Johnny believe that we've worked out whatever issues he seems to think we have—"

He laughed a humorless laugh and stared at her, menacingly. "Seems to think we have?" he shouted incredulously. "Jude, we have a _mountain_ of issues and sweeping them under the rug isn't going to make them any better," he argued.

"Oh that's rich, coming from you," she retorted angrily.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She shot out of her chair and walked over to where he was sitting and towered over him as she glared down at him. "What that means is that you are the freaking _king_ of sweeping shit under the rug. You don't like talking about stuff, so I don't get where the sudden need to be sharing and caring is coming from!"

Tommy blinked and couldn't believe what she'd just said. That was the most hypocritical thing he'd ever heard. "And you do the same thing, so who the hell are you to judge me?!" he shouted.

She scoffed and folded her arms, putting so much attitude into the tiny action that Tommy wanted to laugh. Her eyes were sparkling with irritation and frustration and she had a scowl on her face that could give Draco Malfoy a run for his money.

"Look, I don't see what the big deal is! You said yourself you don't want to be a producer anymore, so I thought you'd be happy that you're not mine anymore," she said logically.

He didn't have a retort to say to that, not unless he wanted her to know the truth about why he was so unwilling to stay fired. He wasn't loving the idea of her discovering that if he screwed this up, he was basically finished.

"Unless," she started, "there's something you're not telling me…" When he didn't answer, she barked out a cynical laugh. "Why am I not surprised? That's just like you—you haven't changed one bit and you never will. You're always keeping secrets."

"Like you don't have your secrets?" he said hotly.

She remained silent and turned away.

He got up off the floor and walked over towards her, feeling the fight coming out in him. He hated that she was being so judgmental and condescending. "So that's how it works, isn't it? Jude Harrison can dish it out, but she can't take it?"

"You don't know what you're talking about," she refuted.

"Don't I? I find it interesting that you would say that, because I happen to know for a fact that you have your own dirty little secrets—"

"Shut up! You don't know anything about that, so just shut up!"

He knew he was pushing buttons, but he couldn't help himself. He wanted a real reaction from her, but when he saw how upset she was getting, how angry, he felt guilty. Getting her hot and bothered wasn't going to help solve anything. In fact, it would more than likely only make things worse. So, he decided to try a different subject.

"Okay, fine then. We won't talk about that. Let's talk about something else."

And he knew exactly what they should talk about. She'd not let him talk to her, or ask, about the kissing incident that happened nearly a month ago. It was well past time that it was dealt with—whether she liked it or not.

"This should be interesting," she muttered.

Not bothering to hesitate or debate with himself if this was a good idea, he plunged right in, figuring it was best that way.

"Why are you continuing to make such a big deal over a kiss that happened almost a month ago? And don't say that it's because you have a boyfriend and all that other bullshit you've been feeding me—there's more to it than that."

"And suddenly, you're an expert on me, is that right?"

"Oh come off it! You know I'm right! Just tell me what the hell the problem is so that I can attempt to try and fix this!"

"There's nothing to fix. Don't you get that?"

He rolled his eyes, feeling an overwhelming sense of frustration taking over. He honestly didn't know what this chick's deal was. For a small while, things had been fine, good even, and then as soon as things started to get a little complicated, she went running scared. There had to be more to this than what she was telling.

"Why are you being so stubborn about this? Just answer me that!"

"Drop it!"

"NO! I won't drop it! You and I have gotten into a very bad habit of just letting things drop and I won't do it this time."

"Well _you're_ the one that's making such a big deal out of it, Quincy. You just can't accept the fact that I'm not swooning over you!"

He laughed and folded his arms as he crinkled his nose. "Why the hell would that bother me?"

She smirked and tilted her head to the side and gave him a look that said the answer should clearly be obvious. "You're a man whore who's used to having women fawn all over him. You can't take the fact that—"

"Oh get over yourself, Harrison! Sue me for wanting to know what brought about the sudden mood swings towards me when before, everything was okay!"

"I don't get why this is so important to you anyway. Why the hell does it matter if things are okay between us or not?" she snapped.

He sighed and took over the chair that she had been sitting in just moments ago. He had been asking himself that very same question. He knew that he had unwittingly gotten attached to the young rock star somewhere along the way of working with her again. If he was being honest with himself, this whole thing wasn't just about saving his own neck for once. He had convinced himself that that's all this was—worry over being out of job. But he knew that there was more to it than that. A long time ago, he had run away when he found himself getting close to the youngest Harrison. He had gotten scared that his feelings were getting out of control. He had thought there was something wrong with him, that he was a sick, twisted individual for having thoughts about this girl that no man his age should have been having. He had let the chance to have any kind of close relationship with her slip by once and he wasn't sure he was prepared to do that again.

Since his return, he'd been so reluctant to allow any kind of relationship, other than professional, develop with Jude. But once he had gotten to know this angry, pissed off woman standing in front of him, he'd gotten rather attached to her.

He decided that he was going to take a chance and be honest with her. It couldn't hurt.

"It's important because…"

He paused, feeling completely terrified of being honest about this. He wasn't sure how to word it without her flipping out on him.

"I… I care about you," he whispered.

The reaction she gave was one he was not expecting.

She was laughing.

And this wasn't just a small chuckle or a little bark of laughter—she was laughing so hard that she was doubled over, clutching her stomach.

He wasn't quite sure what to make of her unabashed mirth.

"Uh… care to explain what's so funny?"

"You… you…" she was trying to spit some form of a sentence out through her laughter.

Finally, when her laughter started to subside, she straightened herself out and tried to compose herself.

"You care about me? Is that a joke? Because it was funny as hell," she choked out.

He couldn't stop the hurt that was starting to creep into his veins. Why did she think it was so funny? The idea wasn't that unfathomable and it certainly wasn't _laughable_. He didn't understand why she was finding that so hard to believe.

"Why is that funny?"

Suddenly, all signs of laughter were gone and her face turned deathly serious. "It's funny because you don't give a damn about anybody but yourself."

It felt like she had just slapped him in the face. He had never expected his reputation to come back and bite him in the ass quite like this. Normally, he would say that was true. He didn't give a damn about most people.

But she was dead wrong about this and it infuriated him that she was being too bullheaded to see it. She was painting him as the bad guy and not even giving him a chance.

"What?!" he barked. "How the hell is that even a fair assessment?"

"Oh please—you can't seriously sit there and try to deny that!"

Tommy's jaw clenched, along with his fists. He was getting damn tired of this.

"Okay, what the hell is this all about? Why? Why do you hate me so much?"

She was silent and he could feel the anger rising in him even more. He wanted a reason why she was being so hostile towards him all of a sudden.

He saw her making a move towards the currently blocked door, but jumped out of his seat and stepped in front of her, stopping her from even getting close to the only means of escape.

"Answer me, damn it! I won't let us out of here until I finally get a real answer from you!"

"Fine—you want a real answer? Here it is: you left! Do you have any idea what that did to me?"

Shock coursed through him. That was the last thing he had been expecting to come out of her mouth. She had been so angry towards him ever since his return that he didn't think she could have possibly been that crushed by him leaving.

"What?" he croaked.

He was even more surprised when he found unshed tears in her eyes. He could see many different emotions filtering through her eyes: sadness, hurt, anger, and he thought he might have even gotten a glimpse of shame in there.

"When we first started working together, I thought you were a washed up, no-good ex-boy bander who had no musical integrity at all. The idea that Georgia had paired us up together was one that I found utterly hilarious. But I went with it, I gave you chance. Stupid me, though. I put aside my beliefs about you and decided to have a little faith in you. And you didn't even do the same for me," she whispered.

His eyes widened in shock. That was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard. And he couldn't believe that's what she really thought.

"What are you talking about? Why do you think I didn't give you a chance?"

"Because you left! I practically begged you to stay, to give us another chance and reinvent ourselves, but it was like you wanted nothing to do with me! As soon as the opportunity presented itself, you bailed! And now I'm supposed to believe that you suddenly care? Right."

"Jude, I—"

"Why? Tell me why you left. I think I deserve at least that much."

Tommy sank in the chair, and shut his eyes. He knew this part would come eventually. He just never knew it would be this soon into everything.

"Jude, you have everything all wrong," he said quietly.

"What do you mean?"

His eyes snapped open. "You were fifteen, Jude! Fifteen," he said through a choke of laughter. He walked over to her, ignoring the wary look on her face as he cupped her cheek and knew his eyes were inadvertently softening. "I left _because_ I cared. I cared more than I should have," he argued.

She shook her head disbelievingly and tried backing away, but he used his free hand to stop her and willed her to stay where she was. "I don't believe you," she whispered.

"Why?! Why is this so hard for you to believe?!" he shouted.

"Because I called you!" she blurted out.

He swallowed hard, dread coursing through him. That wasn't possible. He would have known…

"What?" he choked.

She slowly nodded her head and tightly sealed her eyes shut. "It was a few months before Jamie and I got together. I… I was missing you," she admitted quietly. "I just wanted to talk—even if it was only for a few minutes. I had called you a few times, but kept getting your voicemail. Finally, I called one day and some guy answered your phone. I asked if I could talk to you and he asked who was calling. When I told him who I was, he said that you didn't want to have anything to do with me and then he told me not to call you ever again…"

His heart sunk as she relayed this newest piece of information. No wonder she had despised him so much when he first got back. He would have too, if he had been in her position.

His chest started heaving with anger. There was only one person she could have spoken with that would have done that: Ryan. His 'friend' since his school days, Ryan was the only person that ever managed to do shit like that. He hadn't mentioned Jude that much, if not at all, when he had returned home, but Ryan must have put the pieces together. He wasn't stupid; in fact, he was too damn smart for his own good. And he used it to his advantage too. If he ever saw that little punk again, he was going to wring his neck out for doing that.

"Jude, I—"

"I mean really, if you didn't want to talk to me anymore, all you had to do was just say so. But you had some guy that was a random stranger, to me anyway, tell me to buzz off."

"Jude, he went behind my back! I didn't even know you had called!" he argued, trying to convince her that he was telling the truth. "If I had, I would have called you back!"

"And I'm supposed to believe that?! Just like that; just because you say so? You hadn't even called me once, so why should I believe that you'd have called back?" She paused and shook her head, almost sadly. "Tell me why. Tell me why you didn't even bother calling! Why did you just drop off the face of the planet?"

He sighed and ran a hand over his face. He supposed it was time for the entire truth.

"Because I had to stay away from you. Do you not understand that you were too young?" he said gently.

She huffed and put her hands on her hips. "Oh please. You're seriously going to tell me that—"

"Jude, my self-control was slipping! Before I left, I could feel it." He let out a bitter laugh and shook his head, still feeling angry with himself for something that had happened three years ago. "That photo shoot you had for _Solid_ was my undoing. When you pranced outside in that damn mini-skirt… you were driving me insane and you had no idea! It took all the willpower I had to not finish what you started at the Vinyl Palace," he admitted.

To say she looked shocked would be putting it mildly. A look of pure disbelief graced her features. So, he took the opportunity to continue on before she had a chance to argue with him about how _he_ had felt.

"I had lied to you when I told you why I was leaving and where I was going. I didn't go to Montreal and I didn't leave because I needed a vacation… My brother had called and said that things were rough at home. So, I used that as my excuse to leave and helped out at home for a period of time.

"For a while, I paid attention to everything that went on with you. Photo shoots, interviews, etc. I even saw what went down with Shay." He paused and took a deep breath, trying to prepare himself for what he was about to admit. "I wanted to call you. I picked up the phone so many times it was ridiculous."

"Then why didn't you?" she whispered.

"Because you had a good support system," he argued logically. "You—"

She laughed bitterly, cutting him off. "Good support system? Good support system?!" she asked, her voice getting louder and louder with each syllable. "You want to hear about my 'good support system'? Yeah? Well here's my 'good support system' you seem to think I had.

"At the time, Sadie and I weren't getting along at all. You remember how much we bickered when you were here, right?" He nodded, remembering the fights all too well. "Well, after you left, it only got worse. We were bitter enemies for the longest time. She hated all the attention that I was getting, she was jealous of the fact that she was getting pushed into the background when she had been so used to the spotlight. Eventually, we obviously worked everything out, but at the time of the breakup with Shay, we were anything but close.

"Jamie and I weren't speaking at the time because… well, the reason why doesn't really matter. That's besides the point. So anyway, he and I weren't talking at all. He didn't even show up to the party.

"My parents… my parents were a joke. They were too self-involved and spending too much time bickering with each other to even notice how everything was affecting me.

"Johnny was the only, and I mean _only_, one that was there for me during that whole fiasco. He saw that I was essentially alone and he took me in. From then on, we've been practically inseparable.

"So, there's your 'good support system'. Still think it was so great?" she asked sarcastically.

He didn't know what to say.

He had convinced himself at the time that her family and friends would be there for her for that whole mess and they had basically abandoned her.

If he had known, he would have put aside all reservations and been there in a heartbeat.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "Had I known—"

"You would have crawled out from whatever rock it was that you were under? I somehow doubt that," she bit out.

"Listen, I know you don't have any reason to do this, but please—believe me when I tell you that I would have been there! If I would have known, I would have come back!"

He studied her face and saw that she was torn. She looked as though she was considering believing him…

He quickly moved towards her and grabbed her hands, willing her to look at him. "I swear, had I known things were that bad, I would have come back. Believe me," he added, practically pleading.

"Really?" she asked quietly.

Despite himself, a weak smile formed on his lips and he squeezed her hands tighter. "Really."

She bit her lip, and in a shocking move, she removed her hands from his grasp and threw her arms around his neck, embracing him; he didn't hesitate to wrap his own arms around her as well.

He smiled as he inhaled her scent and couldn't help but think about how right holding her felt.

* * *

Finally, after being cooped up in Studio C with Tommy for almost three hours, Johnny _finally_ came to let them out. By the time he'd unlocked the door, things were on their way to being good between them again. There were still some things that needed working out, but for the most part, they'd managed to sort things out. She'd even re-hired Tommy as her producer and found herself being extremely happy that she hadn't gotten the chance to speak with Georgia about Tom.

She felt better about everything, now that she wasn't forcing it back down inside the darkest crevices of her soul.

Thinking about Tommy after he had left had always been forbidden in her mind. The healing process never came because she had never allowed it to come. Closure had seemed foreign to her, so when Tommy had suddenly appeared back in her life out of nowhere, it was like a slap in the face to her.

Being completely hostile towards him had never been her intention. In her mind, being hostile would have just proven to him that she had cared enough to _be _hostile and that was the last thing she had wanted. She had never wanted him to find out how attached she had grown to him. But the bitterness and the anger had sort of taken on a life of their own. She hadn't even realized how angry and hurt she had been over that.

The more and more she thought about everything, the angrier she had gotten. She had never understood why he had just left her hanging like that and essentially abandoned her. He couldn't have left at a worse time, so that made the bitterness of his leave of absence even more intense.

Confronting those feelings, finally telling Tommy how much she had been hurt, felt right. They had both told truths from their pasts and, although she knew they were both still keeping things from each other, it helped ease the tension considerably. It had felt surprisingly liberating, like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

So when the time had come for Johnny to unblock their exit, she hadn't even been angry with him. If anything, she had felt grateful.

And since being released from the studio, she had noticed that Tommy was becoming extremely… protective, was the only word she could think of that fit properly. He stayed within a close proximity of her and she was sure that if he didn't think she would object, his hand would have been around her waist.

But, that wasn't his place. And he knew that.

She was still with Jamie.

Speaking of whom, she, Tommy, and Johnny were now standing with and talking with at the very moment. He was happy and animated, completely oblivious to Tom's new demeanor. She, however, was not. She saw the glares he would steal occasionally, but she had to give the man credit. He was trying.

Jamie turned to her with a smile still etched on his face. "Are we still on for dinner tonight?"

Despite the pleading of her mind to keep her eyes firmly planted on her boyfriend, those traitorous eyes of hers rebelled, moving with a mind of their own, and shifted towards Tommy, who had noticeably stiffened at the question. She also observed his clenched jaw and fists and sighed.

She quickly shook off the feeling of guilt that was beginning to plague every cell in her body. As she studied Tom's face, she saw that it was filled with anger, jealousy… hurt.

Unable to look at him any longer, she forced her eyes back over to Jamie and plastered a smile on her face. "Yeah. We're still on for dinner," she replied softly.

As expected, Tommy quickly left the vicinity upon her answer. She watched regretfully as he stalked towards the front doors of G-Major, not looking back once.

When she looked back at Jamie, she saw that he was, understandably, perplexed by the events that had just taken place. He was looking in the direction that Tommy had just gone and without looking at Jude, asked, "What's his problem?"

She glanced at the floor, unable to look him in the eyes while she lied to his face. "Who knows?"

Moments later, she looked back up at Johnny, who was standing next to Jamie, shaking his head, giving Jude the reprimanding look that she hated. She felt bad for Jamie because he was completely oblivious as to what was going on around him. He didn't seem to see the instant attraction that had happened between Jude and Tommy. Johnny, however, didn't miss it.

Jamie leaned into give her a kiss, but at the last minute, she turned her head and he got her cheek instead. He glanced at her with narrowed eyes, confusion etched on his bewildered face.

"So I'll see you tonight, then?" he asked warily.

Jude smiled falsely and nodded. "I'll be ready."

He studied her for a minute before nodding as well. "See you then." He turned to Johnny and gave him the 'guy nod' before turning around and walking out the doors.

After he left, she looked at Johnny and pointed her finger at him, putting on the most menacing look she could muster. "Don't start with me, Summers," she said irritably.

He held his hands in surrender. "What?

* * *

Dinner was an interesting affair.

It started out perfectly normal.

Jamie had picked her up and drove them to the restaurant, opened doors, etc. He was the perfect gentlemen that he always was. But there was something different and it became increasingly more obvious as the night progressed.

Halfway through dinner, he started bouncing his leg up and down in a constant, quick motion that was driving Jude up the wall, but she didn't say anything.

They finally got through the desert and got the check, thankfully ending the very awkward evening. It had felt like a first date for crying out loud—and a bad one at that.

What made it even worse was that after dinner, she began feeling slightly queasy. She couldn't put her finger on just what was causing the unsettling feeling in her stomach, but she was feeling well at all.

After everything was paid for, he drove her back to the house and took her inside. When she walked in, an audible gasp escaped her lips.

Everything was decorated in the typical cliché romance movie way, but somehow better. It looked simply dazzling. From the moment they walked into the front room, candles filled the rooms and rose petals trailed from the front of the door and up the stairs. He smiled at her and whispered, "Follow the roses."

Unable to help herself, she did as he asked and cautiously walked up the stairs, awe filling every part of her body, her upset stomach forgotten. She hadn't known Jamie had this in him. And oddly enough, she knew that it was _him_ that had orchestrated the affair. Yes, maybe Sadie had helped finalize everything, but she knew that this was one-hundred percent Jamie.

As she followed the dried rose leaves, she heard Jamie's footsteps following her.

Finally, the trail ended at the foot of her bed. Her room had been completely decorated in the same manner as the downstairs had been, only more elaborate. Her eyes fluttered to the champagne that was being chilled by her bed. Candles flickered in the dark, creating what should have been a romantic atmosphere.

But the whole thing only caused dread to fill Jude. The earlier awe had quickly left when she realized what was happening.

This couldn't mean anything good…

She swallowed nervously as she turned to look at Jamie, who had now gotten down on one knee, with a small velvet box perched on the palm of his hand. He was smiling widely, looking like the happiest man on the planet.

"Jude, I know we haven't really talked about this, but I wanted it to be a complete surprise. These last couple of years with you have been the best in my life and I wouldn't trade them for anything. From the time we were kids, I had always felt something more with you and I know that our relationship didn't start out in the most ideal way, but I couldn't have been more thrilled that it did happen, nonetheless. One of the many things I love about you is that you're so passionate. You put passion and heart into everything you do and I couldn't have been more amazed that I had been lucky enough to be one of the things that you had put your passionate heart and soul into. You're an amazing woman and I couldn't have asked for a better person in my life. You may have started out as my best friend, but you're so much more to me than that now."

He opened the tiny box to reveal the most amazing ring she had ever seen. It was gorgeous and elegant as it sparkled from the glow of the soft candlelight.

He smiled widely and took her hand. "Jude Harrison. Will you marry me?"

Her heart dropped to the floor and she immediately felt as though she was going to be sick.

Her chest started heaving as panic filled her. Marriage?

He couldn't be serious… could he?

They were only eighteen. She wasn't ready for marriage. She was nowhere near ready for a commitment that huge. How could he possibly expect her to be ready for something like that? They had never even _talked_ about getting married one day. The housing talks, children talks… none of that had ever happened.

She didn't understand where this was coming from and she was completely floored. This all seemed to be so out of nowhere and she didn't understand what was going through his head at all.

He frowned as she continued the delay on answering. Clearly he thought she would have answered with a resounding 'yes' straight away. "Jude?" he asked uncertainly. "Did you hear me?"

She stared at him, unable to say anything. It was like her brain had just turned off. This couldn't be happening.

"Jude?"

She felt bile rising in her throat and quickly covered her mouth with her hand. "Excuse me."

She quickly dashed for the bathroom and felt the earlier contents of her stomach suddenly protest being in her body any longer. She dropped to the floor and hugged the porcelain bowl, unable to handle the curveball that life had just decided to throw at her.

Humiliation coursed through her.

How could anybody throw up after being proposed to? What a way to say "I love you, too, honey."

Except that was the problem.

She didn't love Jamie—at least not in that way. Not anymore.

And after seeing and hearing him propose to her, asking her to spend her entire life with him, she knew that now. She knew that he wasn't right for her.

If he was right for her, she wouldn't be praying to the porcelain gods right now.

She heard footsteps clinking on the tile to her bathroom floor. She saw him through her peripheral vision and then she felt him as he started rubbing her back in soothing motions as he held her hair back.

She finally stopped heaving and walked over to the sink to splash her face with some cold water and then proceeded to brush her teeth.

When she turned to Jamie, she saw that he was trying to put on a brave face and her heart nearly broke at the sight. She could tell that he knew it was over.

"Well, that's certainly an unexpected reaction," he said, trying so hard to keep his tone light and bitter-free. It didn't work.

"I'm sorry, Jamie," she whispered.

"Me too," he said and quickly turned on his heel, walking out of her bathroom.

She didn't even have the energy to go after him.

How could she have let this happen? How could she have been so blind to everything that was going on with her own boyfriend? She shouldn't have been that distracted to not have seen this coming at _all_.

She left her bathroom and walked back into her room and sank down on the mattress of the foot of her bed and buried her face in her hands as she started crying.

Her friendship with Jamie was ruined.

Not only had she turned down his proposal, but she had thrown up. Could she have been anymore insulting about the whole ordeal? Saying no was one thing, but throwing up?

Almost as soon as she conjured that previous thought, she felt the vomit rising again, so she quickly dashed towards the bathroom. She felt more ill than she had in a long time. She couldn't ever remember throwing up twice in a row.

Once again, after she was finished, she brushed her teeth, splashed her face with some cold water, and went back out to her room again. The nausea didn't go away at all, but she figured she deserved the sick feeling brewing in her stomach.

Why should she feel good after what she had just done to her best friend?

It seemed so surreal and she couldn't believe it was happening.

She hung her head and depression quickly settled in the pit of her stomach.

She and Jamie were over.

And more than likely, so was their friendship.


	17. Chapter 16

Hey all!

Sorry it's taken me so long to update. I've been crazy busy lately with school and friends and such, so I've not had much time to post. So, my apologies for slipping up on the updating.

Anyway, I hope you all like the chapter! THanks for all the comments and keep them coming :)

* * *

**Chapter 16**

Tommy frowned as he got Jude's voicemail once again. He had a feeling something wasn't right.

Three days had passed since their time together in the locked studio and he hadn't seen her once. "Jude, it's me. Again. Look, just call me back when you get this. I'm worried about you," he said, knowing full well that his voice was conveying that very worry. "I'll talk to you later."

He snapped his phone shut and let out a shaky sigh as he sank back in his chair.

He hadn't meant to storm out of G-Major when she had confirmed her dinner plans with Jamie. But surprisingly, a territorial feeling overpowered him and it had taken everything in his power to restrain himself from making up some excuse to keep them from being able to go to that dinner. But, he knew if he had told Jude they had to work that she would have probably rebelled, so he did the only thing he could do in that circumstance. He left.

If he hadn't, he very well may have punched Andrews right in the nose.

He had just gotten things back on track with her, and she was already running back to that dork.

But, he had to learn to accept that she was with Jamie. It was clear that she wasn't dumping the kid any time soon, much to his displeasure. So, he knew that he should probably try to be nice to the kid, at least in front of Jude. That way, she would have no reason to get pissy with him over that particular subject.

But as he sat there, thinking about Jude and ways to keep her from getting angry with him, the niggling sense of foreboding came rushing back.

And he didn't like it one bit.

He got up out of the old leather office chair that sat in front of the soundboard and quickly made his way towards the lobby, but when he got out of the studio, he stopped dead in his tracks.

Jamie Andrews was back at G-Major after a… three day absence. Tommy didn't think it was coincidence. He walked up to the kid and was about to use his best bossy, threatening tone, but stopped short when he saw how bad Andrews looked. It appeared as though he hadn't slept in days, he had grown stubble—which was very uncharacteristic of this kid—and looked as though he had aged ten years in a simple matter of three days.

"Hey," he said quietly. "Is everything okay?"

Jamie glared at him with such an intense hatred that Tommy was taken aback. Since his return to Toronto, Jamie had always been civil towards him, which was why it was shocking to see the gleaming hatred in his eyes.

"I'm surprised you don't know already," he said bitterly.

They had barely been thirty seconds into the conversation and it was already lost on Tommy. He had no idea what this guy was talking about.

"Um, I have no idea what you mean," he said truthfully. "But I do know that you look like you haven't slept at all in the past three days and that you look positively miserable. What's going on?"

"Why don't you ask Jude," he sneered.

Before Tommy could even respond, Jamie quickly took the file of folders he had been fishing through and left Tommy standing there, dumbfounded.

Moments later, he spotted Sadie, and though he half expected her to tell him to buzz off, he decided he'd take a chance anyway.

"Sadie!"

She paused and glanced at him, her eyes full of worry, which, he guessed, was for Jude. She shook her head, and placed a hand in front of her, motioning for him to stop. "No, Tommy."

"But you haven't even heard me out, yet," he said, teetering on the edge of being either highly annoyed or amused. He couldn't really decide which.

He had gotten used to Sadie's behavior towards him. Now that he understood some of what her sister had gone through, he could understand the loyalty she was showing to Jude. But, after it was all said and done, Sadie _had_ grown on him, and it appeared as though she had learned to at least tolerate him. After all, it was kind of a necessity for her to do so because, whether she liked it or not, he was her boyfriend's best friend so, naturally, they had to spend some kind of time together.

They had actually had quite a few conversations recently and he discovered that Sadie was incredibly smart and witty and, despite her seeming determination to not like him, they had both found out that they had quite a bit in common.

So, her reaction was, more than anything, causing him to be rather amused. Even after all this time, she was still trying to be an Ice Queen towards him.

"And I don't need to. Look, if you want to find out what's going on with Jude, just go talk to her yourself, okay? Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do."

As he watched Sadie walk away, his uneasy feeling only grew with every step she took away from him. Something wasn't right.

And when he saw Johnny walking into the building storming towards Georgia's office, looking frantic, that only confirmed his gut feeling.

He quickly raced out the doors and ran out to his Viper, deciding to pay Miss Harrison a visit. He needed to find out for himself if she was okay.

On his way out the door, a few of the interns were smiling at him, and normally, he'd take full advantage of their starry, googly eyes, but, as it was, he didn't have time for that. So, much to the interns' disappointment he was sure, the admiration was ignored.

As he got into his car, he tried telling himself that he was just over-reacting and that he was being ridiculous, but he had learned to trust his gut a long time ago. Over the months, the path to the Harrison residence became somewhat like a ritual and it was embedded in his brain, so he had little to distract him as he drove down the street. The drive wasn't a long one, though at times, it certainly had felt like it was. The anxiety wasn't doing him much good, either, and he was surprised that he didn't get pulled over and gain another speeding ticket for his record. He practically raced the entire way there.

When he got there, Tommy pulled his car into the driveway of the Harrison home, shut the engine off, and made his way to the house.

He knocked a few times on the door, but no one answered. Unable to squash the worry that had been steadily building out, he tried turning the doorknob, which, thankfully, turned and allowed him access into the house.

Pushing the door open, he tentatively stepped inside. "Jude?" he called.

As he expected, there was no answer.

"Jude…" he tried again, knowing it wouldn't make any difference how many times he called her name.

So, he started looking around the house for her, thinking maybe she was just ignoring him since she was stubborn enough to do that.

Suddenly, an ear-splitting scream came from upstairs and he quickly ascended them two at a time. "Jude!" he yelled.

He saw that a door was cracked open and didn't hesitate to enter, thinking that it was her room.

When he burst into the room, Jude was thrashing in her bed, covered in sweat and he immediately rushed over to her, sitting down beside her. He grabbed her by the shoulders, trying to shake her awake. "Jude," he said as he continued nudging her. "Jude!"

Finally, her eyes snapped open and she launched herself into his arms, latching her own tightly around his neck. She buried her head in the crook of his neck and was shaking horribly. He stroked her hair gently and began whispering soothing words into her ear. "I've got you. It's okay," he whispered. "It was just a bad dream."

She simply held on tighter at his words and shook her head. "No it wasn't," she argued.

When he tried to pull back to look at her and ask her what she meant, she jumped. "Don't let go. Please," she whispered.

"I won't," he promised.

As he felt Jude sobbing into his shoulder, he couldn't help but wonder what she was talking about when she said it wasn't a dream. At first, he was certain that she was just a little bit delirious because he heard strung together sentences that sounded like pure insanity. But, with each passing minute, she kept saying over and over again that somebody she loved was in danger and that she was certain of it. Eventually, as he sat there holding her, he tried to get more out of her than that, but she just kept mumbling incoherent ramblings that made no sense to him. She had mumbled the danger thing again and then said his name out of nowhere. He was confused and didn't know what to do.

But there was one thing he was certain of—she was terrified.

He'd never seen her like this before and it was kind of scaring him a little bit. She always seemed to be so in control over everything and right now… she just wasn't.

Finally, she let go of him and sank back down into her mattress. Her eyes were slowly shutting and when he made a move to get up off the bed, her arm shot out and grabbed his wrist. "Stay," she practically pleaded.

He stared down warily at her. She didn't seem to be in her right mind at the moment and didn't want to jeopardize what they had fixed already.

But when he looked down at her and saw the vulnerability in her eyes, he reluctantly nodded his head and climbed back in the bed with her as she made room for him. After they were both settled, she snuggled up to him and rested her head on his chest.

He tried to ignore the way his heart sped up as she did so. He had never really been this intimate with somebody before. He wasn't a cuddly type of person. There was, of course, _her_, but their relationship had been complicated and had never really entailed this kind of simple, physical closeness. This was new territory for him since he usually shunned this type of thing. So he was overtly confused as to why he didn't seem to mind this right now.

When he glanced down at her, she had fallen asleep again already and the sounds of her soft breathing filled the room. She looked troubled, even in her sleep, which unnerved him. That must have been one hell of a nightmare she'd just had.

As he was fighting sleep, he wondered what she possibly could have meant when she had said it wasn't a bad dream. When he remembered the other mad ramblings she had spewed off, he could only think that she was just so frazzled from the nightmare that she didn't know what she was saying.

Unable to fight off the sleep anymore, he drifted, not failing to notice the way his arm tightened around her as slumber finally claimed them both.

* * *

Jude's eyes slowly fluttered open and she tried to adjust to the light.

She felt like she got hit by a truck and was feeling positively miserable.

Movement beside of her put her on full alertness, well, as alert as she could be at the moment, and her eyes flew to the body sleeping soundly next to her. Her eyes widened as she saw Tom Quincy laying in her bed with a protective arm draped around her waist.

How did this happen? She didn't even remember him coming into her _room_.

In her panic, she had moved slightly, which caused Tommy to stir. She froze in her spot as she watched his sleeping form and, despite her confusion and mild panic, she smiled. He looked so peaceful when he slept and, as she allowed herself to look at him more closely, shock reverberated through her as she realized that he looked… content.

When she tried to extract herself from his iron-clad grip, his hold around her waist only tightened and she found herself being pulled closer to him in the process. She sighed, not really minding the closeness and decided to settle back in next to him.

She figured she could blame it on her fever that she had developed over the last three days, later.

As she lay there, she tried racking her brain to remember just how it was Tommy wound up in her bed, but nothing was coming to mind. She knew that he wouldn't have just climbed into bed with her while she was asleep, so _something_ had to have happened that she just wasn't remembering.

Finally, he began stirring again and his eyes finally started to open. He saw that she was facing him and he quirked an eyebrow. "You're awake?"

Jude inwardly groaned. As he spoke, his voice was still raspy from sleep and he sounded even sexier then than he did when he was awake. She was pathetic.

"Someone's observant," she remarked sarcastically, feigning an appearance of being in control.

He smirked and propped himself up on his elbow. "I'm just surprised that you're still in bed, that's all. I would have thought as soon as you saw me in here, you would have made a mad dash for the door."

She laughed. "Well I tried, but _somebody_ apparently didn't like that idea."

His eyes narrowed and he looked thoroughly confused. His nose crinkled and he tilted his head to the side. "What are you talking about?"

She folded her arms and gave him a wry smile. "I mean that as soon as I tried moving away from the bed, you tightened your hold on me. It was like you were unwilling to let me out of the bed."

He grew thoughtful and at that moment, she would have given anything to be inside his head. So, trying to lighten the mood, she chuckled and joked, "Who knew that Tom Quincy was like a giant, cuddly teddy bear?"

"I'm not," he mumbled.

"Well, according to _this_," she said as she pointed down to his arm that was still slung around her waist, "you are."

He sighed and removed his arm as he rolled onto his back and Jude tried desperately to ignore the fact that she felt like something was missing without his arm there, protecting her.

She cleared her throat and turned to face him. "What are you doing here and how did you wind up in my bed?" she asked bluntly. Not knowing had been killing her, so she decided that the best way to find out was to just be blunt and ask him.

Instead of the amused look she was expecting, confusion and concern marred his perfect features. "You don't remember?"

"Obviously I don't. Otherwise, I wouldn't be asking," she said irritably.

"Well, I came by to check on you. I hadn't seen or heard from you the last three days, so I left G-Major to come here and when I got here, I kind of just let myself in. The door was open and I wanted to make sure you were okay. I called your name a couple of times, but you never answered, so I started checking around the house for you and then I heard you scream. You were having a nightmare. A bad one."

Jude stiffened and shifted nervously in the bed.

She couldn't believe that she had forgotten that she'd had a nightmare. Usually she remembered them for days afterwards.

Flashes of said nightmare flew through her mind like a whirlwind. It was always the same; laughter, darkness with bright headlights getting closer and closer, blood… but this particular nightmare had been different. After she saw the blood, a different setting appeared. She was in a gray room, which was completely bare and everything was the same color. As she had looked around at the four walls, which contained no door or windows, she had felt panic rising in her.

She had gone to all the walls, trying to find some means of escape, but found none. When she had turned around, she had discovered she was no longer the only one in the room.

_"You," she whispered._

_The man standing there grinned while she frowned. She couldn't see his entire face. The parts that were supposed to be there were outlined, but there were no distinctive features to his face. _

_"Who are you?" she asked._

_"Jude, you should know who I am…"_

_She remembered her attacker from Johnny's going away dinner saying the same thing. She knew that that's who this faceless man was, but his identity eluded her. Why couldn't she remember him?_

_"Stop. Stop saying that! I don't know who you are! What do you want from me?"_

_He walked closer towards her and ran a finger down her jaw line. He leaned in and whispered in her ear, "Revenge."_

_She quickly backed away from him and as she did so, he disappeared from the room, but she could still hear his echoing laughter._

_"Who are you?!" she shouted she shouted as she started spinning around the room, trying to look for any sign of this phantom menace. _

_When she stopped turning, the man appeared again and shoved her forcefully against one of the walls, trying to choke her to death. "You took her from me," he growled. _

_She tried shaking her head to let him know that he had the wrong person. She could feel her air supply weakening and she tried squirming out of his grasp, but knew it was pointless. This man was much stronger than she was. _

_"Now I'm going to take what you love," he stated._

_At that point, a million thoughts were swarming through her head, and she was fighting to wake up. Finally, he released her and she started gasping for breath as he stood back. _

_She tried massaging her neck to alleviate some pain and stared in confusion as he just stood there. "What are you talking about?" she whispered, her voice shaky. _

_The man smirked at her and waved his hand, with his palm facing him, over his face. Her eyes widened in horror as the man was no longer faceless, but took the form of someone special to her. The person looked down at their chest, which now had dark, red blood oozing from a single hole. The form fell to the floor, lifeless and Jude let out a blood-curdling scream. As she sank to her knees, trying to get the injured person to wake up, eyes snapped open and three words were uttered: "Tick, tock, Jude," before returning to its lifeless form._

And that was when she woke up screaming. She couldn't remember who the faceless man had turned into, but she knew it was somebody important to her. Somebody, who, according to the faceless man, she loved. The thought of somebody she loved dying was awful enough, but dying because of _her_… she shuddered at the thought and felt her blood run cold.

"You want to talk about it?" Tommy whispered.

Jude shook her head roughly. "No. I'm fine."

"Jude, you're not fine. You just turned three shades whiter when I mentioned your nightmare. What's going on?"

She put on a smile for him. "Look, it didn't have anything to do with that nightmare. It was just some silly, stupid dream and I don't even remember what it was about. I probably turned whiter because I've been sick for the last three days."

"You've been sick?" he asked skeptically.

She nodded her head reluctantly. "Yes. I went to the hospital and everything. EJ managed to keep it all under wraps. The woman may be a beast, but she's damn good at her job. That's for sure. Anyway, it started out with food poisoning. The restaurant Jamie had taken me to wound up making me sick. And then I got progressively worse with a case of the flu. I still have a slight fever, but it's not contagious right now."

"Ah. I see."

He still sounded as though he didn't believe her, but she didn't have a reason to lie.

"Yep. Honest truth, I promise."

"Well, while we're on the subject of truths, what's wrong with Jamie?"

Her head snapped fully in his direction and her eyes widened. "You saw Jamie?"

He nodded and started fiddling with her sheets. "He looked awful. When I asked him what was wrong, he got really defensive and said that he was surprised I didn't know already. What'd that mean?"

Jude shut her eyes and hung her head back. Judging by that jab that Jamie had made to Tommy, Jude could only guess that he had figured a few things out. "I broke up with him," she whispered.

When Tommy didn't say anything, she opened her eyes and saw that his own sparkling, blue orbs were wide with shock. "What?"

She nodded and sighed. "It went really badly. He had taken me out to dinner to propose to me." She heard Tommy suck in a breath and decided to tell him everything. "He was really sweet and just… perfect. Any girl would have said yes. But I couldn't. I said no. Sort of."

"Sort of? How can you 'sort of' tell a guy that you don't want to marry him?"

This was the embarrassing part. She really didn't want to mention the rest of this story. "Never mind," she mumbled.

Tommy's eyes twinkled with amusement. "No, no, no. I'm completely interested now. See, now you _have_ to tell me. Otherwise, I'm obligated to bug you until you do."

She let out a resigned sigh and mumbled, "I threw up."

"What? I didn't understand a word you just said."

"I threw up," she said softly.

He let out a frustrated groan. "I still—"

"I THREW UP!" she shouted.

As if things weren't bad enough already, Tommy threw his head back and started laughing uncontrollably. "Stop," she whined. "It's not funny."

"Actually," he chocked through fits of laughter. "It is," he wheezed.

"Stop," she complained.

"Okay, okay, okay. Sorry. But I have a question. How soon after he proposed did you throw up? Was it like, right after?" When she nodded, the laughter started all over again.

She angrily got out of bed, ignoring the spinning room, and threw her side of the covers over top of him as she stalked towards the bathroom. "You're an asshole," she declared as she slammed her bathroom door.

She heard his laughter growing closer and knew he was standing outside the door. "Oh come on, it could happen to anybody," he lied.

"Shut up," she shouted.

"Come on Jude. Open the door. I promise I won't laugh anymore."

"Liar."

"I'm not lying! I swear!"

Reluctantly, she opened the door to find Tommy leaning against the wall on the other side. "It's not funny."

He smirked. "Maybe not for you. But for me, it's endlessly entertaining," he chuckled.

Jude glared at him and he rolled his eyes. "Sorry. I promised and I did mean it, so I won't laugh anymore."

"Thank you."

He let his last few chuckles die down and shook his head. "So things between you and Jamie aren't good, obviously."

Jude snorted as she sat down on her bed. "That's probably the understatement of the century. Would _you_ be so quick to forgive someone that turned down your marriage proposal with vomit?"

He wrinkled his nose with distaste. "I can see your point. Poor kid. Does he know that it was food poisoning and it wasn't the fact that he proposed to you?"

"Sadie's tried talking to him, Johnny's tried talking to him, _I've_ tried talking to him… but he just won't listen. I think any hope of salvaging our friendship went down the toilet with the rest of my dinner."

"He'll come around, Jude. Just give him some time."

"I hope you're right."

"Of course I am. I'm always right."

"Ugh. If you don't stop, I think I might be sick again," she complained.

Tommy's eyes sparkled with mischief. "Oh? So you mean you _don't _have to be proposed to upchuck?"

Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. She should have known she wouldn't live this one down. But, despite her immense embarrassment, she took his zany comment in stride. "Nope. I just have to look at you," she said sweetly. "And you know what? I think I can feel a new wave of vomit coming on right now," she said as she made a gagging gesture.

Tommy rolled his eyes, but was still grinning widely. "Well obviously you're feeling somewhat better if you can make fun of me right now."

"Oh, Tommy. I could be on my deathbed and I'd _still _find a way to make fun of you," she declared.

"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I've got to get back to the studio and finish some touch ups on some of the older songs we've recorded. However, in the meantime, you are to stay in bed and under no circumstances are you to show your face in the studio until you're fully recovered."

She nodded and smiled. "I don't plan to. Johnny was in there earlier to speak with Georgia. He's been completely over-reacting to the food poisoning and my flu. He thinks I'm dying or something."

Tommy laughed and motioned for her to lay back in bed and she gladly did as she was told. She was starting to feel tired again.

He pulled the covers back for her and she crawled under them; after she was settled, he brought the blankets back up and securely wrapped them around her. She shut her eyes tightly, so she didn't have to see that beautiful man looming over top of her… on her bed.

"Do you need anything before I leave?"

She shook her head, still making sure to keep her eyes shut. When she felt him lift his hands up off the bed, she barely opened her eyes again to whisper, "Thank you."

He smiled and nodded, shut the light out and closed the door, and then he left.

As she tried falling back asleep, she couldn't help but notice that the bed felt empty. She realized that she just felt safer with him nearby.

After a little while of tossing and turning, she felt her eyes begin to grow heavy again. As they shut, remnants of her nightmare began weaving in and out of her thoughts. She was getting ready to fall asleep when she saw a body on the floor of the gray room, unmoving, their shirt stained with blood. As she got closer, she realized who it was and her eyes immediately snapped open.

Tommy.


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"Stop fussing over me. I'm fine," she huffed angrily at Johnny.

Even though she was grateful to him for looking after her and worrying, he was kind of getting on her nerves. She felt like she had her own personal nurse or something. It was a bit suffocating at times.

However, as annoyed as she was, she had to admit, she felt a little guilty for lying. Johnny had been making sure she was taken care of ever since she had discovered she was sick, so she felt bad for being dishonest with him.

It wasn't that there was anything physically wrong with her; in that sense, she _was _fine. She was feeling perfectly healthy.

But mentally and emotionally, she was going crazy.

Ever since she realized who was in that nightmare, it was like this strange, uncomfortable feeling had settled over her. It seemed preposterous that Tommy was the person in her dream. She had to have been imagining things.

Okay… she realized she probably sounded a little crazy, trying to prove herself wrong and everything, but living in denial was far easier than facing the truth.

She did not love Tommy Quincy.

It was simply impossible and just… not an option.

Bad things happened to girls who let themselves fall for that man and she wasn't about to become one of them. Again. She had made that mistake once and she wasn't going to let herself do that once more. She could handle being friends with him. It was fun, in fact. But anything more wasn't feasible. She wouldn't allow it to be.

"Are you sure? You still look a little pale," he mentioned as he made a move to feel her forehead with the back of his hand. She promptly swatted his arm away and glared at him.

"Johnny. I appreciate all the concern and all the help you've given me, but really. I'm honestly feeling much better. I think I'll even be ready to go back to the studio tomorrow. Maybe I'll even run into Jamie and be… able to… okay what's your problem?" she asked irritably as she saw that Johnny averted his eyes from her when she mentioned Jamie.

"Problem? I don't know what you're talking about. I don't have a problem," he said nervously.

She rolled his eyes at his stupidity. He really needed to learn how to lie better. When he lied, his sentences usually got strung together and sometimes, he even sounded like a chipmunk on crack. This particular for instance, his sentences were rapid and his voice cracked a couple of times. She had to admit that she was mildly disappointed that he didn't go into Alvin mode this time. She could have used a laugh.

"Johnny," she sighed. "You _do _realize that you were like an octave shy of sounding like a hyper little forest creature? You stink at lying. I'm honestly surprised that you managed to lie to me for three months," she said smartly.

He hung his head in shame. "Fine. I suck at lying. But you knew that already, so it's not like a major victory here."

Jude snickered and got the orange juice out of the refrigerator. "Okay Grumpy. What's up? Why did you get all wigged out when I mentioned talking to Jamie?" she asked as she began pouring her glass.

He sighed and stared at her with unadulterated pity. "You won't be able to talk to Jamie, Jude."

Her eyes narrowed as her breathing sped up. She didn't like the sounds of this so far. "Why? Tommy said he just saw him the other day at work. Is everything okay?"

"Jude…"

"Don't use that tone with me. Don't get all 'pity Jude'. You know I hate that. Just tell me," she demanded.

"I really wish you would just let this go," he said, his voice getting a little louder with his obviously growing frustration.

"Damn it, just tell me! What's going on?" she shouted.

At that moment, Sadie hustled into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She was still in her pajamas and was wearing one of her silk robes. Jude fought back a grin and figured Kwest would soon be following.

"Okay guys. I love you both and everything, but could you use your inside voices? I haven't had my coffee yet."

She moved to the counter that contained the coffee maker, grabbed a filter, and began preparing the fresh coffee. After she was finished, she turned to Johnny and Jude with a frown on her lips. "What was all the shouting about, anyway?"

"Johnny's being an ass and not telling me what's going on with Jamie."

"Oh? I'm being an ass? Okay, well remind this ass not to take care of you the next time you're sick," he said crossly.

"Gladly! It'll be nice not to have somebody shadowing my every move. Maybe I can actually go to the bathroom the next time I'm sick without getting the third degree from you."

Jude was vaguely aware of Sadie's eyes moving back and forth between the bickering pair like she was watching a ping-pong match taking place. She knew that she was being ridiculous and childish towards Johnny right now, but honestly, she didn't care. She was tired of him treating her like she was a piece of glass to be handled with care.

"I didn't realize I was so suffocating. But you know, I'm glad you told me now."

"Really?" she asked as she folded her arms.

"Yeah. Next time I won't have to hear your endless string of complaints of your ailments. You're like the worst sick person to ever walk the planet."

Jude rolled her eyes and huffed. "And you're… you're…"

"I'm a what?" he challenged.

"I don't know yet. I'll think of something in a minute," she murmured as she took a sip of her drink.

Johnny sighed and looked down at the countertop. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? It's just… I'm trying to protect you."

"Well don't. I can handle it."

After a few moments of silence and Kwest entering the kitchen, fully clothed thankfully, Johnny finally spoke up again. "Jude, Jamie quit. He was at G-Major when Tom saw him so he could finish up the rest of his assignments and turn in his resignation."

Jude felt relief wash over. She really didn't see what the fuss was about if that was all. "Well, that's understandable. I mean it makes sense—that's not all, is it?" she asked warily.

"No," he said softly. "I'm sorry Jude, but Jamie's taken a job with Ace Records."

It was if the air suddenly vanished from her lungs and she suddenly forgot how to breathe. Betrayal washed over and soon, all she could see was red.

"That bastard," she seethed. "How could he do this?!" she shouted.

"Jude, calm down—"

"Calm down? You want me to calm down? Johnny, you know that he—"

"I know. I know. But there's nothing we can do. It's done already. Georgia told me that he told her he had gotten offered a job there a while ago, and that at first, he flat out turned it down. But then, they kept coming after him and offering him extra benefits, more perks, and just made it really hard to turn the job down."

"How convenient that he's accepted the job _there_ almost immediately after we broke up," she scoffed. "How could he do this? That is Eden's label."

Sadie took a tentative step towards her and placed a wary hand on her shoulder.

"Jude, as your sister, I say this in the most loving, possible way. But you need to get over it. You made your choice, baby sister. You need to let Jamie go and let him move on. Even if it is at the same label as the devil's spawn."

As the three pairs of eyes stared at her with annoying sympathy, she began to feel the walls closing in on her. How could they expect her to just take this? It was like Jamie was taking everything they had shared over the last few years and spitting on it. She could understand him moving on and going to another label, but Eden's label? It felt like one of the worst betrayals she'd ever dealt with—even worse than finding out about him and Kat.

She still felt a small pang of hurt over that one. Jamie had failed to tell her that he and Kat had gotten together; the truth came out mere weeks before her birthday. That had not been a good time.

And this felt even worse. It felt like a punch to the gut.

She couldn't take standing in the same room with them anymore, so she quickly shrugged out of Sadie's concerned touch, left the kitchen and made her way up to her room, ignoring the shouts of her name. Right now, she needed to be away from them. They were her family. They were supposed to be on her side and understand.

When she got to her room, her cell phone rang and, despite herself, she found herself smiling widely at the picture staring up at her. She grinned as she eagerly accepted the call.

"Hey."

She could almost hear him smiling as he answered. "Well, well, well. If it isn't my favorite Instant Heaver. How are you feeling today?"

"Ugh. I wish you would have called like, ten minutes ago," she said, feeling depressed, ignoring his little jab.

"What's going on?"

She sighed and bit her lip. "Are you busy?"

"Well, considering my only artist is still on recovery and my best friend is undoubtedly over at your house, um… no. Why? What's going on?"

"Can you just come get me? I'm dying here. I need to get out of this house."

"Sure, no problem."

"Thanks." She was getting ready to hang up when she thought of something else. "Oh, before you go, I need you to do me a huge favor."

"Two favors in one day, Harrison? I don't know if I can manage that. It might cost you," he joked, teasingly.

Jude rolled her eyes, but was still smiling anyway. "I need you to park about a block away and call me when you're almost here. I don't want anybody to know I'm gone."

"Roger that. Consider it done," he said happily.

She heard the dial tone and, realizing she felt a lot better, hung up her own phone.

Ignoring the warning flags going up in her head, she threw her phone on her bed and started to get ready to sneak out of her house to meet Tom Quincy.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Tommy was nearly a block away from the Harrison home. He called Jude when he got to a red light and couldn't help but wonder why on earth she asked him, of all people, to rescue her from her home. It just didn't make a lot of sense. He figured she'd go to somebody like Spiederman.

Once he got to be a block away from the house, he easily found a parking space and patiently waited for her. He had told her he'd meet her at the house without the car, but she quickly declined the offer and told him that she didn't want to risk anybody seeing him. He didn't understand the need to be cloak and dagger about everything, but he just went with it.

He leaned his head back on his headrest, shut his eyes, and a few minutes later, he jumped when Jude pounded on the side of his car, grinning. He instantly returned the grin and reached over to pop the door open for her.

"Breakfast? I'm starving," she asked.

He rolled his eyes and put his Viper in drive. "Should have known the first words out of your mouth would be a request for food."

"What?" she asked, using that innocent tone he had come to recognize so easily. "I can't help it I'm hungry. I didn't have a chance to eat anything before I left the house."

"Snuck out, you mean," he corrected. "Speaking of, why did you?"

Jude sighed and fell back into her seat. "I just couldn't deal with them. They were being completely unreasonable and just… I'd rather not talk about it right now if you don't mind," she added sadly.

He nodded, knowing all too well what these mornings were like. "You got it."

She smiled in thanks and cleared her throat as she turned her head to look at him as he drove. It made him slightly self-conscious and it was all he could do to not fidget in his seat under her scrutiny. So, he was thankful when she started talking again.

"So how's my album coming?"

He took his eyes off the road for the briefest of seconds to grin at her. This was definitely something he could talk about. He'd been throwing himself into mixing since she'd been sick and had been itching to have her listen to the tracks. "It's good. Those songs we recorded a while back are now mixed. I think I've got the demos in my trunk if you want to listen to them later?"

Her smile widened so much that her perfectly whitened teeth were now showing. She looked happy, but he could still see a twinge of sadness in her eyes. She was good at hiding what she was really feeling, so good that it frustrated him. He wished that for once, he didn't have to guess at what she was thinking. But, he knew not to push anything right now, so he ignored the itching desire to question it. For now.

"That sounds awesome," she answered, sounding enthusiastic.

"Okay," he agreed.

As they drove to the diner for breakfast, he continued racking his brain, trying to figure out what brought on Jude's crazy behavior today. Not that he wasn't used to crazy by now, but this was ridiculous—even for her.

When they got to a red light, he saw some teenager walking down the sidewalk with blue streaks in his hair, instantly reminding him of the pencil neck he knew back in the day. And then it came to him. He finally realized that the source of Jude's put out mood probably had something to do with Andrews. After all, she was with the guy for a little over two years, so this break up she just had with him was bound to cause her emotional distress.

He inwardly chided himself for putting so much thought behind this. He didn't put this much thought into his _own_ problems, so he didn't understand why he wanted to get inside her head so badly. It wasn't normal for him. So, he refused to allow himself to do that anymore. If she wanted to tell him what was wrong, she would. Maybe. Possibly. Doubtful. He'd probably have to pry it out of her if he really wanted to know.

So, for now, he would just force himself to let it go. She didn't want to talk about it, so he wouldn't be one of those pushy people that he hated.

When he pulled up to the diner, Jude let out a barely audible low chuckle. "You chose here?"

He was a little confused. Why was she asking him about this restaurant? He thought she liked this place. "Um… yes? Why?"

She shook her head as she grinned. "No reason," she replied as she clambered out of the car and headed to the entrance.

He quickly followed suit and rushed up behind her. "I thought you liked this place?"

When they entered the diner and started walking towards the booth area, she looked back and nodded. "I do. Is this booth okay?"

He waved her question off dismissively. "It's fine. You've got me curious now, though. Why are you so shocked I chose here?"

"You really don't remember?" she remarked with a quirked eyebrow. "I'm surprised you forgot."

As he looked around the place and looked behind the counter, he saw a familiar waitress and grinned. He couldn't remember her name, but he remembered her face. "I remember this place now."

She scoffed in disgust and sank back in her seat with her arms folded. "Pig."

"What?"

As she rolled her eyes, the waitress came up to them with two menus in tow. Her smile was wide, showing her perfect white teeth. "Mornin' y'all. Back again?"

Tommy mirrored the perky waitress's smile and nodded. "It was just too good to not come back."

Jude snorted and opened the menu while Tommy was trying desperately hard not to laugh at the situation. She was being haughty, totally ignoring him, the waitress, and everything around her, and he couldn't believe she was acting so… jealous. He was tempted to call her on it, just to see that familiar blush creep to her cheeks. He liked embarrassing her and making her flustered. But when his eyes shifted back to the southern beauty, the smile fell promptly off his face. She had a knowing look in her eyes as she grinned at him. All she did was nod and he wanted to sink to the floor.

"So what can I get you two to drink this mornin'?"

Tommy glanced down at the table and muttered, "Coffee."

Jude said the same and when he realized that she wasn't going to look back over that menu any time soon, he grabbed his own and began perusing the mouth-watering items available for his choosing.

After the waitress came back with their drinks, their orders were placed, menus taken, and Jude now had no wall to hide behind. She was looking somewhat cross, as cross as he felt actually.

He sighed and leaned forward in the booth. "Look, can we not fight for one day? Please?"

"Who's fighting?"

Tommy gritted his teeth in frustration. Sometimes he really hated that she was so stubborn. "Okay, I'm sorry! I can't help it! Flirting is something that I've done for so long now that it's practically second nature to me. I'm not trying to piss you off, you know?"

She rolled her eyes and heaved a sigh of defeat. "I guess I did over-react a little. I'm sorry. It's just been a bad morning."

"Well you know, the last time I checked, my ears still worked," he offered.

She shut her eyes, as if she were trying to block something out of her mind. She shook her head roughly and when she opened her eyes again, he was surprised to find them looking angry and hurt. "It's Jamie."

When she didn't say anything else, he figured he would have to prod the rest out of her. "You're gonna have to give me a little more to go on than that, girl."

He didn't bother fighting back a grin when he saw a faint blush creep up to her cheeks. There it was. He loved seeing that, especially since he didn't see that crimson color too often. But, he decided it was best not to say anything.

"He's done one of the worst possible things he could have done to me." She paused and sucked in a breath. As she spoke again, her voice was so low that he barely heard her. "He got a job with Ace Records."

His eyes narrowed in confusion. He didn't see what the big deal was about that. That statement held absolutely no meaning for him. If anything, it made sense that Andrews was leaving his ex-girlfriend's label.

"Well, you didn't really expect the guy to stick around at G-Major, did you? Sounds pretty normal to me."

She bit her lip and it seemed as if she was trying to fight back tears. This must obviously have more significance than he had originally guessed if it was causing her tears.

"I'm saying this once and then we're dropping this line of conversation, do you understand?" When he nodded, she continued on. "Ace Records is Eden Taylor's label. The same Eden Taylor who Shay cheated on me with, the same Eden Taylor who it made it seem as though she was the victim in everything and tried painting me as the bad guy for months afterwards. Jamie is working at _her_ label. It's disgusting."

Tommy let out a low whistle. Finally, things were beginning to make sense. He was sure Ace had offered Jamie a good deal—they were known for luring employees in with enticing benefit packages and extra perks if they wanted someone badly enough—so he could understand why Jamie would be enticed by the offer, especially now that he and Jude were no longer together. But he was also sure money wasn't the only motivating factor for accepting the new job so suddenly. What better way to get back at your ex than by joining the label of said ex's worst rival? He couldn't believe that Andrews had that kind of malicious behavior in him. That was a low blow, even for a guy like him—and he'd delivered his fair share of low blows. He could definitely understand now why she didn't want to talk about it.

He wished he could say something to help her, but he was seriously bad at giving advice. If he were on the receiving end of his advice, he would, more than likely, ignore it. So, he said the only thing he could think of on a whim.

"Look, forget him. If he's willing to do that, then screw him. It's not worth getting yourself all worked up like this."

"It's not that easy Tommy. He and I have been friends forever, much longer than we dated. And it's like he's throwing all that down on the ground and stomping on it. It hurts and it's not something that's easy to ignore."

"Well, talk to him then. A bunch of people tell me that talking is important in any relationship."

Jude smirked and he was thankful when the food arrived. He was sure that otherwise, she would have had some witty retort, but the alluring smell of waffles successfully distracted her, so she started eating her food, the likely snarky comeback forgotten.

Neither spoke as they ate their delicious food. He loved it when he got to eat a meal in silence—it was a good time to collect thoughts and enjoy some quiet time. But as he looked around while he was chewing a bite of his toast, he remembered they were in the same restaurant they had come to at six in the morning when he first got back into town, so he decided to take the opportunity to ask her how she had managed to sneak into his apartment to give him that wake-up call. He'd always wanted to know, but just kept forgetting.

"Hey, I have a question." She motioned for him to continue as she took a bit of her eggs. "How'd you get into my apartment?"

"You mean when I snuck in?" He nodded and she started laughing. "You know something, Quincy? You ought to keep your conversations down. I overheard you talking to Kwest. He'd told you he needed to get into your apartment when you weren't going to be there or something like that, and asked you where the spare key was. Getting into the building was nothing. I slipped in when someone had miraculously been slipping out. The security guard stopped me because he said I didn't look like a familiar visitor, but he did recognize me. Luckily, he was a fan. So I gave him an autograph for his nephew," she snickered.

"Well that's just wrong. You little sneak."

"It's a gift," she smirked.

They ate in a comfortable silence, for the most part, so the rest of their breakfast was relatively quiet. At least until somebody snapped a picture of the two of them together.

They had been leaning across the table, deep in conversation, discussing her album. She'd wanted to know everything and had complained that she hadn't had a lot of input into it recently due to all the chaos. Once they got started talking on music, it was like the rest of the world disappeared. He was actually surprised they had even noticed the picture being snapped.

But, when Jude realized what had just happened, her eyes widened and Tommy rolled his own, feeling annoyed. "Just ignore it."

"But he's going to take that camera to a tabloid!"

He looked at her with a 'duh' expression on his face. He'd experienced this kind of situation many times, so he was used to it by now. But, because Jude Harrison wasn't a tabloid magnet, he could gather that she wasn't used to this kind of thing.

"So?" When she started looking at him as though he were insane, he took the initiative to explain himself. "Look, it comes with the territory of the job, Jude. Why should it matter what's written in some tabloid? We know the truth and that's all that matters."

"But Tommy, you don't understand. My fans know that I'm in… _was_ in a relationship for a long time. If they see this picture so soon after the breakup, they're going to think I'm some sort of… harlot!"

Tommy grimaced. He hadn't thought of that. He had forgotten that Jude cared about her fans and that she hated disappointing them.

He got out of his chair and started for the door when Jude turned around in her booth. "Where are you going?"

"That guy probably didn't get very far. He didn't look like a professional, so more than likely he's on foot. I might be able to catch him. Stay here."

And then he was out the door. He was hoping that he was right in his assertion of this photographer. He had looked like an amateur, so he more than likely hadn't been bright enough to think of a getaway car. This was probably done on a whim, so Tommy prayed that luck was on his side today.

Sure enough, after he had jogged in the direction he had seen the man go, he saw the money-grubbing photographer less than a block down the street. He didn't shout at him to stay there—that would only make it harder to catch up to him.

So he broke into a quicker run and snuck up behind the guy and spun him around. Luckily there wasn't anyone else around, so if he had to take that camera by force, he would.

The photographer was a runt and Tommy smirked. He'd have no problems getting this picture.

"Hey buddy. Give me your camera."

"And why would I do that? This picture has the potential to get me a lot of money."

Tommy's expression turned into a mock seriousness. "You know something, you're right. I don't know what I was thinking. You go ahead, man."

The photographer glanced at Tommy warily before starting down the street again. When he had gotten a couple of paces away, Tommy stopped him again. "But, I hope that money you make from the picture is enough to cover hospital bills, pal." His threat worked. The photographer stopped dead in his tracks and turned around with a scared, exasperated expression on his face. "You didn't really think I'd let you get away that easily, did you? You know, if something's too good to be true, you should probably think twice about it."

The man glared at Tommy with such resentment that he almost felt bad. Almost.

Tommy held his hand out for the camera. "Give it. Unless you'd like to be hospitalized."

Reluctantly, the man handed the camera over.

Despite himself, he was curious as to what the picture turned out like, so he clicked the button that allowed him to view the pictures and easily found the one he was searching for. His eyes widened at how intimate the picture looked. He and Jude were leaning across the table, and the looks on both of their faces caused his stomach to lurch a little bit. They looked disturbingly like a couple.

This would have been bad, had he gone with his first instinct to let the guy go.

Tommy took out the memory chip, threw it to the ground, and smashed it with the heel of his foot. When he was sure the picture was deleted from the camera and couldn't be accessed in some other way, he handed the camera back over and the glum photographer started to leave. But, as he was walking away, Tommy stopped him, once again. "Hey! Wait a second."

"Look, you got your pictures. What else do you want?"

Tommy sighed and reached into his pocket for his wallet and took out two hundred dollars to hand to the man. His eyes widened. "I can't accept that."

"It's more than you would have gotten for the pictures if you would have taken them to the tabloids around here. Trust me, I've butted heads with some of those editors and they're stingy. Just take it."

Tommy had figured that since this guy was going to turn that picture in for money, he needed some quick cash. He really didn't care about the reasoning as to why this man might need money; he had been in enough scrapes himself before his money from Boyz Attack had kicked in. He had definitely been in this man's shoes once or twice before and could empathize.

The short, balding photographer took one of the hundred dollar bills and handed the other back to Tommy. "Thank you," was all he said before turning around and walking away.

Tommy turned back around to make his way towards the diner. When he got there, Jude was waiting anxiously for him outside the entrance. Before she could even ask, he reassured her. "It's taken care of."

"How?"

"The guy had a brain and he used it. Simple as that."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"Look, I settled it. Why does it matter how?"

He began making his way into the diner to pay the bill when Jude started chuckling. "Where are you going?"

Turning around, he quirked an eyebrow as he folded his arms. "Somebody has to pay the bill, Harrison."

"It's taken care of," she mocked.

"Jude," he said with a warning tone to his voice. "What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything," she said as she smiled sweetly.

"Liar."

She started laughing and patted him on the back. "Look, Tommy. I settled it. Why does it matter how?" Tommy groaned and Jude started cackling. "Honestly, I paid a bill. What the hell is the big deal?"

"Do you realize that my grand-mere would kill me if she ever found out that I allowed a girl to pay the bill?"

"So don't tell her," she said logically.

"I can't do that! I've never lied to this woman before in my life. She'll know. It's like she has mind-reading abilities or something."

Jude cocked an eyebrow. "You still talk to your grandmother?" she asked, disbelievingly.

The question offended Tommy a little bit. "Quite frequently," he remarked, curtly. "She's the only family member that ever made an effort to understand me and accept me the way I am, no questions asked. So, of course I still talk to her."

Despite people's assumptions about him, family was important to him. He just wasn't important to his family. His brother and his grandmother were the only ones that bothered, so he tried to keep in touch with them as often as he could.

Jude looked highly embarrassed and her cheeks turned crimson, once again. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it." He cleared his throat and started guiding her to the car. "Where to now, Miss Harrison? Today's your day."

"Rehearsal space?"

He was shocked she had suggested it, considering the last time they went to the rehearsal space, they didn't speak to each other for three weeks because of a brief lip-lock encounter.

He did feel slightly better about it though. He was sure that it wouldn't happen again because she would probably stay as far away from him as she could once they entered the place.

"Rehearsal space sounds perfect," he said as he opened her door for her.

As she entered the vehicle, their hips briefly touched as she brushed by him and he could have sworn he heard her suck in a breath. Not that his reaction was much better.

When he walked over to the driver's side of his car, he began to hope that there would be no situations at the rehearsal space where he would have to assert self-control. Because, as it was right now, it was becoming highly improbable that he would be able to use any kind of self-control.

* * *

The drive to the rehearsal space wasn't long, but, judging by the way Jude bolted out of the car once he put it in park, one would think the drive took hours.

"Where's the fire?" he yelled.

Jude didn't stop as she turned her head over her shoulder to answer him. "I'm feeling inspired. Hurry up, old man!"

Tommy merely rolled his eyes at her antics, unwilling to respond.

Once they got into the building and were sitting on the couch, Jude quickly picked out her journal and began scribbling furiously. He smiled to himself as he watched her become completely enthralled with her writing. He'd discovered that she was very much like himself when it came to writing; a tornado could be passing through and he wouldn't notice. He would be focused solely on the song, just like she was at this moment. Occasionally, she would let out frustrated groans and angrily scratch lines out on her paper. At one point, she even swung her legs over the back of the couch and had her head hanging over cushions, almost touching the floor as she stared up at her notebook, still writing.

He had never seen somebody write music quite like her. She put everything she had into it.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed; it could have been minutes or hours and he wouldn't have had any idea. He had been too busy watching the blonde rock star in her writing process.

"Hey, I need your help with this."

He blinked, feeling taken aback that she was actually asking him for help. But he quickly snapped himself out of it and scrambled closer to her so that he could see her journal.

"Sure, what do you have so far?"

_There's so much I want to say now  
__But it's too late, I know  
__Yesterday you were my best friend,  
__And now my heart aches for you (For you)  
__And our love is crashing  
__Like a tidal wave  
__Coming over me_

"And now I'm stuck on the chorus. I just can't seem to get it to come as easily as everything else did. I have the second verse and the bridge finished. It's just this bit that's giving me problems. Even what I already have written doesn't sound right."

He could gather that this song was about Jamie. And as he made his assumption, he couldn't help the surprise that washed over him. Only a couple of hours ago, she was still hurt over everything and feeling betrayed that he was working at her enemy's label. Now, she was suddenly saying that she was over everything and was letting him go. It just didn't make any sense to him.

But, she was asking for his help, and he was going to do all he could to do just that.

"Well do you want to keep working on the lyrics for now, or maybe try to work some music in there to see if that will spark some inspiration?"

Her eyes sparkled with excitement as she tossed her journal on the couch. "Music."

He nodded and reached for the guitar and she shook her head roughly. His lips slowly formed a smile as he set the instrument against the side of the couch. "I take it you have an idea for your sound?"

She eagerly nodded and tucked her right leg under her left as she shifted to face him. "I don't want acoustic for this. Could you go grab the electric?"

He quickly moved to get the requested guitar and she, surprisingly, got up to acquire the other. He crinkled his eyebrows together, unsure of where she was going with this.

But as she started strumming, she motioned for him to follow and he was shocked to find that as they were playing, they both knew exactly what notes to play. They continued that pattern until the chorus when they started playing different chord variations.

"And it's the chorus," he sighed. "Okay, play what you had in mind."

She picked it up from the top, and about one fourth of the way into the chorus, he grimaced. He definitely wasn't crazy about that combination.

"Well, obviously you don't like that and I can't say I disagree with you. It feels off," she admitted as she stopped playing. "Why don't you give it a try?" As he started playing, he noticed her nodding in agreement, her lips widening into a smile. "I really like the sound of that. That's perfect, actually."

He wrote down the chords and as he was doing so, he had an idea of how to fix the song. "Hey, can I see your journal?"

She grabbed it and tossed it to him and he began switching verse lyrics around, changing words, and even started on the chorus bit of it. Many times, she tried peeking over his shoulder to see what he was doing—she even tried snatching the notebook back, but he promptly slapped her hand away and she let out a frustrated huff as she sank back into the couch.

Finally, after he was satisfied with his work, he handed the notebook over to Jude.

As she read his changes, her eyes widened. "This is amazing, Tommy!"

He smiled and picked up the guitar again. "Let's give it a try, huh?"

When he started playing, she started bobbing her head to the beat as she waited for her cue to start singing.

_There's so much I want to say now,  
__But it's too late, I know  
__There's no way to heal these wounds now,  
__And my heart bleeds for you (For you).  
__  
And our love is crashing  
__Like a tidal wave  
__Coming over me._

_So I wanted you to know,  
__That I finally let you go  
__After all I've held onto,  
__This is my goodbye to you.  
__I was always there for you,  
__But you never saw the truth,  
__And the reason that I know,  
__Is I finally let you go.  
__I finally let you go._

_Yesterday you were my best friend,  
__But tomorrow took you away,  
__There's not much for me to say now,  
__Just goodbye, fair well (Fair well)  
__  
Our love is crashing,  
__Like a tidal wave  
__Coming over me_

_(Chorus)_

_And anytime I close my eyes,  
__My heart is bleeding deep inside  
__But now the days are all better  
__I'm never gonna be the one for you  
__The one for you..._

By the time she finished singing, she had tears in her eyes. She wiped furiously at them, as if she were trying to make them stop.

As he instinctively moved to try to comfort her, she motioned for him to stop. "Give me a minute. I'll be okay," she choked out. After she got herself together, she apologized for her small crying fit. "I'm sorry. I thought I was finished crying."

"Jude, you guys were together for two years and then you were best friends before that. It's bound to take a toll on you."

"But the thing is Tommy, I'm crying more over the friendship than the actual breakup. Hell, I'm _relieved_ that he and I aren't together anymore. It just wasn't right."

"What do you mean?"

She sighed and brought her knees to her chest as she rested her chin on them. "We'd been having problems for a little while. Before you came back, things had finally gotten back on track, or so I had thought. Jamie was always working and it was like we barely saw each other. We were just out of sync. But then he surprised me and took a week off work and we spent every day together and it was just amazing. Things were on the right track and it felt like we were solid. I truly believed that we were. But I was wrong, because after you came back, things started to go south again.

"I had planned on breaking up with him a while ago. It was actually the week I screamed at you and told you that I hated you, which, I'm sorry about. I was frustrated with everything and I took it out on you. I never hated you, Tommy."

"You sure about that?" he asked quietly.

"Tommy, I was angry with you. Damn angry, but I never once ever felt hate. It was just me lashing out over my frustrations that I just couldn't get the courage to dump Jamie. I knew how much it was going to hurt him, so I chickened out."

"So, wait a minute. I'm confused about something. Why would Jamie have proposed to you if you were considering breaking up with him? Surely he would have picked up on the signs? He's a smart kid," he grudgingly admitted.

"I actually don't know why he did that. We had never talked about marriage once. I'm beginning to think that Jamie _was_ being observant and saw that our relationship was quickly deteriorating, so he went out on a whim, grasping at straws. Anyway, like I said, I'm kind of happy that the romantic relationship ended, but now, I'm worried that we'll never get past this. Jamie and I have had our shares of ups and downs, but never anything like this. He thinks that I threw up because of his proposal!"

"Listen, if you guys have remained friends since you were kids, I think you'll get past this. You just need to give him some time. It's been less than a week, Jude. It's a little lightning fast for you guys to start hanging out again."

"I know, but I feel like if we don't repair this friendship now, we're gonna fizzle into strangerhood. Already it's starting. The old Jamie would have never done something like this. I mean he took a job at Eden's label. Eden's!"

"And you have to accept that. It sucks, but if you're going to get through this at all, you need to be supportive of him and let go of this animosity you have for him right now. If the kid is as smart as he seems to be, he'll see that you're trying and eventually, he'll come around."

She smiled at him and, in a surprising move, reached out to hug him. She was now resting on her knees as her arms were locked around his neck. He sucked in a breath at the reality of how close she was. He could feel his own breathing quicken and then, much to his surprise, he could feel her pace quicken as well.

She slowly pulled out of the embrace, her arms still locked in place. Her forehead now leaned against his and he was very aware of where her eyes were resting.

"Thanks," she whispered.

"No problem," he said quietly.

He wasn't sure how long they stayed like that; he really didn't care. He could feel himself drowning in her blue-green orbs and wanted so badly to close the distance that was driving him insane.

But he wouldn't do that. Not this time.

She had to close the gap; she had to want it.

Mere seconds after he thought that, she let out a little frustrated groan and must have caught on to his little game, because she began descending her lips to his and then, finally, she connected them.

She was unsure of herself, moving her lips slowly and awkwardly against his before pulling out of the kiss, and looking away, embarrassed. But he quickly shook his head, grabbed either side of her face, and pulled her back in.

This time, she was more confident and the slow kissing was forgotten. It quickly turned heated and passionate and he could feel himself losing control. He had kissed his fair share of women before, but he hadn't ever felt anything quite like this. This was quite possibly one of the most amazing, heated kisses he had ever had. As the kiss continued, he shifted his right hand so that it was now cupping the back of her head and he ran his fingers through her hair, eliciting a soft moan from her throat.

She broke the kiss, panting for breath.

Her fingers went to her lips as she put some space between them and instead of her storming out of the rehearsal space like she had last time, she leaned back into the couch and cleared her throat. "Well… um," she stammered.

He couldn't stop the smirk forming on his lips. This was definitely a side of her that he had never seen before. She was never speechless; in fact, she always had to have the last word. So, needless to say, he was reveling in this turn of events.

But, she seemed to catch on to the reasoning behind his smirk because she quickly rolled her eyes and got up from the couch, crossing her arms in the process. "Oh shut up," she muttered.

His smirk widened into a full smile and he started laughing. "I can't believe it. Jude Harrison is speechless?"

"What'd I just say? You're completely ruining the moment."

"Well in that case, I'll be quiet."

An awkward silence passed, neither one willing to speak first.

Finally, probably out of sheer frustration from the uncomfortable atmosphere, she huffed. "Oh come on! Are you serious?"

"What? You said be quiet!" As she was getting ready to reply, his phone went off. His eyes narrowed as the caller ID popped up. "Johnny? What's up?"

"Hey man. Have you seen Jude by any chance?"

She was quickly motioning for him to say no, shaking her head frantically.

Reluctantly, he complied, even though he didn't feel right about it. Her family cared about her and she was being ridiculous about it. "Nope, haven't seen her."

He heard Johnny's worried, defeated sigh. "Alright. Let me know if you hear from her?"

"Will do."

"Thanks. I gotta run. I'll talk to you later."

"Yep." He quickly hung up his phone and walked over to Jude. "You need to let them know you're okay."

"I will," she whispered. "Look, can we just go to the studio and forget about this for now? I want to get this track laid down."

"Yeah, sure. No problem. We're actually starting to get behind schedule on your album, so that'll be good. Hey, you go ahead, I'll catch up. I just need to make a quick phone call."

"Okay," she said as she grabbed her journal and left the building.

He quickly flipped his phone open again and sent a text message to Johnny, letting him know that Jude was with him and that they were headed towards the studio. He wasn't going to cause the guy un-necessary worry.

But when he left the rehearsal space to catch up with Jude, he felt guilty for lying to her. They'd finally started to make some real progress and he didn't want to screw it up.

"That was a short phone call," she noted.

"Voicemail," he muttered as he started the car.

As he pulled out onto the road, he remembered why he was incapable of relationships. He was a liar. Sure, this lie wasn't as bad as some of the other ones he had told in the past, but it was still a lie.

This small act sent a feeling of foreboding down his spine.

For now, things were actually going well. But he knew it wouldn't last long. It was in his nature to be a screw-up and this was the first sign. He was already lying to her and they weren't even in a relationship.

If she ever found out about some of the things in his past… he shuddered at the thought and seriously hoped that his past would stay buried. But he knew that was just wishful thinking. Secrets always came out—he knew that. He was just biding his time, praying that it would turn out differently this time.

But as he glanced over at her, he knew he should try to stop things from falling apart before they even got started.

The only problem was, he had a whole lot of explaining to do.

He just hoped that he could figure out how to explain before his past came back to bite him in the ass.

* * *

Song is "Goodbye to You" by Breaking Point--clearly, I don't own it ;)


	19. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Johnny let out a sigh of frustration when he looked at the text message he had just received. Jude Harrison was going to be the death of him one of these days. He just knew it. She was always doing something to get his blood pressure going—and it took a lot to do that, too. He was usually calm, but Jude brought out a side of him that he didn't show too often. He was rarely irritable and cranky, but lately, that had all been changing.

His mood had been going south for months and he was trying desperately to get back to how he used to be, but it was hard.

And Jude wasn't helping.

He realized that she probably felt as though they had all been ganging up on her back at the house, but they hadn't been. At least _he_ hadn't been. He couldn't very well speak for Sadie or Kwest, but he knew them well enough to know that the last thing they had wanted was to make her feel ganged up on.

The problem with Jude was that she was a drama queen through and through. Nobody knew how to throw temper tantrums quite like her—and nobody knew how to jump to conclusions quite like her, either.

His thoughts were cut suddenly short when his phone rang. He automatically grinned when the caller ID popped up.

"Jane. What's up?"

"Hello, favorite producer of mine. How's your trip going?" she inquired cheerfully.

He hesitated, not quite sure how to answer the question. It had been a different visit, he knew that much. "Um… it's been interesting," he muttered.

"Oooh, interesting sounds juicy. Do I get to hear all about it when you get back?"

He laughed, loving that Jane was constantly full of surprises. He had never taken her to be a gossip. "Well that's a new one, Jane. Who knew you were a gossip type of girl?"

"I'm just full of surprises, huh?"

"I'll say," he agreed as he smirked. "So anyway, how are things over there? Everything okay with you?"

She sighed and he immediately knew there was something else up. He patiently waited for her to get whatever it was that she needed to get out, out. There was no use pushing her. She was as stubborn as the day was long.

"When are you coming back?" she whispered.

"Soon. Probably in a couple of days. Why? Jane, is everything okay?"

"I need to talk to you… in person. I haven't exactly been honest with you," she said anxiously. "I have a feeling you won't like me very much when you find out about what, but please understand… there are things you don't know. Things that are complicated."

"You're not making any sense right now. What are you talking about?"

"Johnny, exactly how much do you know about Tom Quincy?"

* * *

In the early hours of the morning, Jude finally finished up at the studio with Tommy. Mostly, they had spent more time goofing off than recording, which was what took them so long to get the track laid down.

As she snuck back into her house, a sudden noise startled her so much that she had to grab her chest from the fright of it all. She saw Johnny sitting at the table with a scowl on his face.

"Damn. You could warn a girl, you know?"

She was teasing him, mainly just joking around, but as she looked closely at the expression on his face, he looked anything but amused.

"And you could have let me or your sister know where you've been all this time," he said crossly.

She scoffed and crossed her arms. She was 18 years old and his parenting act was getting a bit tiring for her. She never questioned his every move and she found it a little irritating that ever since he came back to visit, she couldn't seem to do anything without running it by him first. "I was with Tommy, _mom_. Honestly, Johnny. I'm a big girl. I can leave the house and not tell anybody where I'm going to be."

"You snuck out!" he yelled, though his voice was still in a whisper. "Sadie's been worried about you this entire time. She felt _guilty_ that she may have been one of the reasons for you being upset. She had actually gone upstairs to talk to you and you were gone already." He paused and she watched as he sucked in a breath, obviously trying to calm himself down. But, perhaps she didn't know him as well as she thought, because she was truly unprepared for the words he spoke next. "God, sometimes you are so selfish."

She blinked, feeling the shock reverberating through her. She had never heard Johnny be so blunt and direct with her and she didn't know how to handle it. Words failed her; many times, she tried to speak, but no sound came out.

Perhaps she was at a loss for words because he was right. Maybe she was selfish—it hadn't been his and Sadie's fault that Jamie had decided to take another job at the same label as Eden and she had stubbornly taken her hurt and anger out on the two people she cared about the most. She had avoided them all day and never even bothered to call them and let them know that she was at least okay. She had taken the cowardly way out and ran away. Just like always.

That was her: Jude Harrison. When the going got tough, she got going.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice Johnny's approach. Perhaps if she had, she would have backed away from his touch. But as it was, she didn't really see anything else going on around her.

She was vaguely aware of him embracing her in a soothing, comforting hug. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that."

She stayed there like that for a second before she actually registered his words and, if she didn't know Johnny so damn well, perhaps she would have believed him once she realized what he had said.

But because she did know him so well, she knew that he wasn't being entirely truthful with her. Johnny had always been the type of person to be honest about what he was thinking and he rarely sugarcoated anything.

The need to get away from him and create personal space for herself became overwhelming. She quickly shrugged out of his grip, backed away from him, and hugged herself, trying to calm down.

"Johnny, you always mean what you say. Maybe you didn't mean for it to come across like that, but you meant it," she whispered.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Jude—I didn't mean it."

"Damn it, Johnny! Just be honest with me! Don't try to sugarcoat anything. It's insulting."

"Why are you being so damn stubborn right now? Is it so hard to believe that I actually just said something in the heat of the moment? I can't be human—I can't deviate at all from my normal personality? Is that against the rules or something? I was just mad at you, Jude, and I said something I didn't mean. I'm sorry!"

As she reflected back on the last few days, she realized that lately, all she and Johnny had been doing was fighting. It didn't seem right that this was how they were utilizing their time together.

But the fact that they _had_ been spending a lot of their time fighting allowed her to believe his explanation. Over his stay, there had been a lot of little things that they had been arguing about, so it would make sense that this act—one she had pulled many times before—would send him over the edge.

That being realized, though, she should have known that there was that build-up of tension between them, that something was off with him.

And that something was off with her as well.

As she recognized all this, though, she had an epiphany of sorts. It shouldn't have been that difficult to see it, but her mind had been pre-occupied lately.

Maybe subconsciously, she was deliberately picking fights with him. Ever since they had started drifting apart when he had moved to LA, she had inadvertently made a decision to distance herself from him as well. While she may not have known, or realized that she was doing the same thing as Johnny, she had done it. And she was still doing it—even after he had explained everything and apologized.

The fear that they were going to lose all contact from each other eventually and they would simply become mere acquaintances unnerved her. So, she had, at some point or another, figured that it would be better if she didn't allow herself to get close to him again. She didn't trust herself to be able to bounce back from a lost relationship with him.

She stopped herself from thinking along those lines any further and watched as Johnny sat on one of the barstools and patted the chair next to him. "I think we need to talk."

Almost reluctantly, she took tentative steps towards the stool and climbed up. "Okay. What do you want to talk about?"

"Us." She quirked an eyebrow and fought back laughter as his cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he obviously must have realized how that sounded. "Not _that_ kind of 'us'. You know what I mean."

"I do," she smirked. "Okay, so in all seriousness, what exactly did you want to talk about?"

"Maybe the fact that I screwed up big time with you and that you still don't trust me, even after my lame attempt at an explanation?" he offered.

"You know me too well," she mumbled.

"Jude, believe me. I won't shut you out again. I was just barely successful before and I hated it. I won't put us through that again. You mean too much to me for me to do that again."

She wanted to believe him, but the thought almost seemed daring. He had promised the same thing before; he had promised that he wouldn't allow them to drift apart in the first place, yet it had happened. In fact, he had made sure that it had happened.

It all seemed so surreal to her. Never in a million years did she think she would ever have trouble believing Johnny Summers, trusting him. It wasn't that she didn't want to believe him—she wanted to more than anything. But people had burned her one too many times in the past. Apparently, it had caused her a much bigger emotional upheaval than she had realized.

"You still don't trust me, do you?" he whispered.

She thought about her answer carefully, knowing that this was a delicate topic of conversation. They both loved each other unconditionally and the last thing she wanted to do was upset him.

"I guess that answers my question."

"Johnny, no," she said immediately. "I don't trust _myself_."

She was frustrated as she took in his blank expression. He turned and said, "I don't understand."

"Oh this is going to be awkward," she mumbled. "Okay. I know we've talked about this before, but when you left for LA and started avoiding me, I didn't know what to do. I was… beyond hurt."

When she saw the look of pure, unadulterated guilt flash through Johnny's eyes, she started to wish that she had just kept her mouth shut. But, as difficult as this conversation was going to be, she knew that they needed to have it.

"J, you know I love you, right?"

He nodded and smiled. "I do know that."

"Good. Because it's true. But you need to understand something. When you left, it was like you took a part of me with you." She paused, trying to think of what to say next to describe just how she had felt. When she finally figured out what she wanted to say, she said, "When you were still here, I knew things would be different when you left for L.A., but I never dreamed that you would deliberately avoid me. I would have understood if you were busy and just didn't have the time—that happens; people change, priorities change. But I guess I just didn't know how to handle the truth when you came back and told me what you had been doing."

"Jude—"

"Let me finish, please." When he nodded, she continued rambling. "In a way, I understand why you did what you did, but that doesn't change what it put both of us through. You say that it won't happen again, and that you won't allow it to, but you can't know that, Johnny. I don't know if… I don't know if I would be able to go through the same thing twice." She sighed as she was getting ready to finally admit the words she had known to be true for a while. She couldn't put all the blame on Johnny, as much as she wanted to. "I guess… I guess maybe I'm distancing myself from you, too, _because_ I don't think I could handle another fight like the last one. I want us to be back to the way we were before, but I don't know if I can do that." She paused and looked down at the floor, feeling a new wave of sadness wash over her. "I miss us. We haven't exactly been Johnny and Jude since you've been back, have we?"

He shook his head sadly. "No, we haven't."

She rested her head on his shoulder and they stayed like that for a while, just quiet and content. It felt like it had been a long time since they had been a place like this—just being themselves. No drama involved.

She couldn't remember when, but at some point, her eyes started drooping and she felt herself being lifted gently off the chair. Normally, she would have protested, but she was too tired to object at the moment.

Her bed let out a soft squeak when Johnny put her on her comfortable mattress. Soft, caring lips pressed against her forehead and before sleep completely overcame her, she heard him whisper, "Goodnight, Jude."

She smiled as she drifted, feeling the same warm, content feeling she only ever got while Johnny was around. Since his return, this was the first time she felt at peace with everything.

* * *

Darkness overwhelmed her senses. She felt alone, confused… scared. She should have known that her happy, content feeling was too good to be true.

Her location remained a mystery to her. Nothing looked familiar in the dark. But as her eyes slowly adjusted to the night, she could clearly recognize where she was, what was happening.

A thin, dark blood trail adorned the blackened pavement. Bright lights flashed.

Two totaled cars assaulted her vision. A gurney was wheeled out in front of her; all she could see was a lone arm hanging off the side—the rest of the body was covered. As she looked around, she saw things in this nightmare that she had never seen before. Instantly, she recognized that this was different—this time, she was a bystander, watching the events unfold.

Reporters lined the street, all trying to get the inside story on what happened to Jude Harrison.

She saw Jamie standing to the side of the car, all of his injuries being attended to.

And then, almost as if it were an out of body experience, she saw herself being extracted from the vehicle. Her heart pounded wildly in her chest as she fought the temptation to look. But she couldn't help herself; the desire to see was too powerful.

Cuts covered her body; blood was everywhere. People were scrambling to get her stabilized. There was chaos everywhere.

After what seemed like hours, she finally forced her eyes away.

But when she turned her body, she saw Johnny being restrained by two police officers. "Let me go! That is my best friend over there!"

"Sir, you need to calm down. We can't let you go."

"But you don't understand—"

"We understand that you'll do your friend more good if you let the EMTs do their jobs and stay out of their way."

He glared at the officer and yanked himself out of their grasp and walked over to the curb. He sat down and rested his forearms on his knees. Tears flowed freely down his cheeks and her throat tightened at the sight.

She didn't like this. She wanted to wake up. She wanted her old nightmare back. She'd take that over this any day.

But her wish wasn't to be granted. It never was.

The scene shifted and she watched intently. She saw herself walking down the street with Tommy, holding hands with him. They were laughing and it looked as though they were both feeling on top of the world. He was smiling at her, being openly affectionate.

They both paused a moment to steal a kiss. When Tommy pulled back, he nuzzled her neck with his nose and she giggled.

Jude stared in shock. She never giggled.

She glanced away from the scene and literally saw her worst nightmare. Her blood ran cold as she immediately recognized the new pedestrian.

The faceless man from the white room was standing on the street, looking terrifying as ever. She saw the intent in his body language and she was almost positive that if she could see his eyes, evil would be embedded in them. They would be cold and callous. Terrifying.

As she saw what was happening, her eyes widened and she shouted, "Don't!"

He grinned and raised the shiny, metallic gun that was in his hand.

She ran over to him and pleaded with him. "Please, no. He didn't do anything wrong! He doesn't deserve it!"

The faceless man tilted his head to the side as he studied her. When his face turned towards her, she realized that lips were now in their correct placement. He was no longer completely faceless—just partially. The lips were thin, long, and perfectly smooth. When he grinned, she noted that it was slightly crooked… just like him.

"We went over this already, Jude, remember? Tommy is going to die," he said with certainty.

"No. You can't do this!"

He started laughing and chills automatically went down her spine. Never before had she heard a laugh so evil, so cruel, so… empty. "Watch me."

He raised the gun and pointed it directly at Tommy. She watched helplessly as his finger curled around the trigger and pulled.

Immediately after the gun fired, dream Jude disappeared, as did the faceless man, but Tommy remained where he was.

He stared down at his chest and then glanced back up at Jude, confusion etched on his perfect features. "Jude?"

She ran over to him and wrapped her arms around him as he sunk to the ground. "Tommy, come on. You're gonna be okay," she whispered frantically.

She wanted more than anything to wake up. She didn't understand what was keeping her here. Normally, she would have woken up by now.

As she gently ran her fingers through his hair, he glanced up at her and started to speak. "Jude?"

"What is it Tommy?" she asked quietly.

"How could you do this to me?" Her eyes widened as he accused her. Hatred lit up his entire face. "I thought you cared about me."

"I—I do," she stammered.

Out of nowhere, he stood up as though he were perfectly okay, though the bullet hole was still present, as was the blood that colored his shirt.

"Does this look like you care? You killed me, Jude. You did this!" he shouted.

"No," she said desperately. "Please, I didn't—"

"You may not have pulled the trigger, but it's your fault. You ruin everything, Jude. Haven't you figured that out yet?"

"He's right, Jude."

Her eyes narrowed as she glanced up at the new voice. "Sadie?"

Sadie stared at her with disgust evident on her features. "We were a family before you decided to enter your little contest. And then mom and dad started fighting even more. It was always over you. Mom left us because of you. You're a horrible daughter—a horrible sister."

"Stop it," she choked.

"Oh, Jude, it's time to face it honey. You know the divorce between your dad and me was your doing."

"Mom," she whispered.

"Victoria's right. After all, you made me tell your mother about Yvette."

"Dad? No, no. This isn't happening," she said as she shook her head frantically. "This isn't real."

"We were all a family before I told your mom about the affair. We could have still been happy if you had just kept it to yourself," he said critically.

Her heart shattered into a million pieces as her father blamed her for their family falling apart.

This was one of her worst fears. She knew that her mom and dad had gotten into countless fights over her, over that stupid contest. But she had wanted it more than anything. At the time, she hadn't cared about anything else.

She hadn't even cared enough to realize that her father was having an affair. It should have been obvious, but she had been too wrapped up in her own world to notice. And when she had noticed, she had forced him to tell and torn their family apart with the truth. Perhaps the old saying was true. Maybe ignorance really was bliss. They seemed to have been happier before the truth had come out. At least they had been a family; they had been together.

She knew this wasn't real, that it was all just another nightmare, but it felt like it was real. It felt _too_ real.

Then, suddenly Jamie appeared, looking worse than she'd ever seen him. His hair was completely disheveled—a disarrayed mess. His clothes were horrible and he looked as though he were barely holding it together.

When he spoke, his words crushed her. "You know it's true. I was there, too. I saw it all happen."

"Jamie. You always said it wasn't my fault," she whispered.

He laughed. "I only said that so I didn't have to keep hearing about you and your problems. It's a little tiring after a while, hearing the same thing over and _over_."

"You're lying."

"Well I guess it takes one to know one, right? All the lies Jude. How can you live with yourself?"

"What are you talking about?"

"What am I talking about? Is that even a serious question? Look at me, Jude!" he shouted as he pointed to himself. "You did this to me."

"Jamie, no. I didn't mean to…"

"You toyed with me! You made me believe that we had a shot at a future together!" he shouted angrily, bitterly. "You drove me into working with Eden. That's your fault."

Kwest suddenly appeared beside Sadie. "It's true. She does have a habit of driving away people. I mean, look at what happened with Tommy. You made my best friend leave the country Jude. And then, when he did finally come back, he stayed away from Toronto for three years, thanks to you."

Jamie nodded in agreement and also spoke again next. "Yeah, you know what else is thanks to you? You took away my girlfriend from me Jude. You killed her." He said the words with such anger and malice that she didn't believe she had heard them at first. But then he kept going, kept twisting the knife in the wound that had never fully healed. "She and I were happy together—we could have still been together, but you killed her," he raged on, hatefully.

Her eyes widened and her body went rigid. He would never…

"You killed me, Jude," Kat said. Jude's eyes seemed to be frozen open as her best friend appeared in front of her very own eyes. Kat looked the same as Jude remembered; she was still as beautiful as ever. Then, Kat spoke again, snapping Jude out of the trance she had fallen into. "I'd still be alive right now if it wasn't for you."

She shook her head. "No. No, you don't mean that."

"You insisted on driving! Maybe if Jamie or I had been driving, I would still be alive and my family wouldn't have had to suffer through my death."

"Please, stop," she said with tears flowing rapidly down her face.

"I believe that would be two deaths on your hands, Jude?" Tommy said as he pointed to the bullet hole in his chest.

"That's not true," she said with little conviction in her voice. "All of you are lying. Stop it."

"Yeah, guys. Knock it off," Johnny said out of nowhere.

Relief flooded through every cell. She knew she could count on him, even in her dreams.

"You know she can't handle the truth like this," he said in a reprimanding tone.

And just as quickly as the relief came, it evaporated. Even Johnny was abandoning her, turning on her.

She turned away from them all and placed her hands on the back of her head as she shut her eyes, trying to block everything out. "No. This isn't real. This isn't happening."

"Oh come on Jude, you know all of it's just us being honest with you. You've ruined everybody's lives!"

"Stop."

"I went to California because you forced me to go. You know I didn't really want to go. But, as always, Jude Harrison gets what Jude Harrison wants. Our brief fallout happened because of you. Tommy's right. You ruin everybody," he said with disgust dripping through every word spoken.

Unable to handle all of the anger from her family and friends, she tried running away from them, but she was frozen in place. They all stared at her, accusation written all over their faces. She could feel herself cracking under their angry stares.

As they continued listing off more ways that she ruined all of their lives, she could see the faceless man standing off in the background, leaning against a building with a grin on his face.

Her eyes narrowed as she could have sworn she saw more of his face appear, but when she tried to get closer, she realized she was still glued to the pavement, her feet unwilling to move.

She heard her name being called and slowly, all the other voices started fading into the background. "Jude…"

"Jude!"

Her eyes snapped open and she was suddenly in the safety of her room.

She saw Johnny standing next to her with concern written all over his face. She was surprised as she noted that Sadie was standing right next to him, as was Kwest, both of their faces basked with worry.

Johnny made a move to put his arms around her, but she shrugged away from him, recoiling from his touch.

Hurt automatically filtered through his eyes. She felt horribly guilty for causing him that hurt, but she couldn't face him right now. Not after that nightmare…

"Jude?" he asked tentatively. "What happened?"

"Go away, Johnny."

He shook his head as he inched closer. "I can't do that. You need somebody here. You were screaming in your sleep."

"He's right Jude," Sadie whispered. "I could hear you all the way down the hall."

"Please… just leave me alone," she choked out.

"Jude, you've had nightmares before. You've told me about them. Why was this one so different? What happened?" he pressed.

Unable to hold back the tears any longer, she broke into hysterical sobs and hugged her knees to her chest. "Everything… it's all my fault," she managed after she had calmed down a little.

The bed sunk under an added weight. "What are you talking about, baby sister?"

The first thing she remembered was Sadie's accusation. The one she knew her sister had always been thinking, but never voiced.

"Mom and d-dad."

Sadie put a finger her chin and forced her to look up. Jude was surprised when rage filled Sadie's features. "I never, and I mean _never_ want to hear those words come out of your mouth again, do you understand me?"

Jude shook her head and felt more tears falling. "I made him tell," she whispered. "We could have still been a family."

"Jude, no. The fact that our family is so dysfunctional is not your fault. _Dad_ cheated, _mom_ left. They made their choices," she said firmly.

"But—"

"No. Stop it. That was not and will never be your fault. Got it?" When she didn't answer and tried looking away, Sadie turned her head back so that she was forced to look into her big sister's determined eyes. "Got it?"

Jude slowly and reluctantly nodded, just to appease her sister though. She still didn't believe that it wasn't her fault. After all, Sadie had, once upon a time, said it herself: their parents were always fighting because of her. Sadie may have been drunk when she had said it, but it had been the truth. She knew it back then and she knew it now.

"What else happened?" Sadie asked quietly.

Jude shook her head, not wanting to talk about anything else. Especially not Tommy. She wasn't quite ready to take that leap and admit her feelings for him—and definitely not in front of his best friend. "It's nothing."

"Jude—"

"Maybe later. I'm not really feeling up to talking about it." She watched as Johnny, Sadie, and Kwest all exchanged worried glances. "Really, guys. I'll be fine," she said in a shaky voice. "I just want to try to go back to sleep. I need to be by myself for a little bit, okay?"

Obviously reluctant, they all nodded and quietly left the room. Jude sighed in relief after they left.

As she closed her eyes to try to go back to sleep, she thought about the faceless man in her nightmare, about Tommy. It wasn't fair to keep him in the dark any longer. He had a right to know what happened—especially if this wasn't just all a big nightmare and he really was in danger of getting hurt. He at least deserved the truth.

She just hoped she could gather up the courage to tell him.


	20. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Johnny leaned against the kitchen counter in the Harrison home and watched with sad eyes as tears flowed steadily and freely down Sadie Harrison's cheeks. Kwest had a comforting arm around her, but Johnny could tell it wasn't doing much good.

"I t-thought that her nightmares h-h-had s-stopped," she choked out. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself, and it seemed to have worked. Sadie started trying to even her breathing out and eventually, her tears slowed and dried all together. "It's been so long since she's had any."

Johnny sighed and ran a shaky hand through his hair. "She's going through a lot right now. Plus, in a couple of months, the anniversary of the accident will be here. It's got to be shaking her up."

Sadie shook her head and he found new determination set in her jaw. "This is different. Something's happening with her. She's not telling us something."

Johnny's eyes narrowed and he frowned as he realized he didn't like the idea that Jude could be keeping something big from him. He was almost certain that he knew practically everything that had been going in her life recently. Didn't he?

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't know. I can see it—feel it. She's been acting weird lately. More closed off than usual."

Kwest's eyes darted to the floor immediately, but he still played the roll of the attentive boyfriend to Sadie. Johnny knew Kwest well enough by now to know that he was hiding something.

"Spill it."

Confusion marred Sadie's features and she angrily folded her arms under her chest. "Excuse me?"

Johnny rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Not you. Your boyfriend."

Kwest's head snapped up and his eyes widened. "Me? What'd I do?"

"You know something. What do you know that you aren't telling us?" Johnny accused.

Sadie turned to Kwest and intently studied his face. "Kwest?"

He stayed silent for what felt like an hour. It didn't seem like he was going to even say anything until Sadie's glare had to have scared him into talking. She had the look mastered to the point where it could make any man cave and give the woman what she wanted. Johnny remembered that look all too well; she had used it on him many times, though it didn't necessarily work quite as well a few years ago. She seemed to have perfected it.

"I can't say anything," he mumbled.

Sadie looked beyond outraged and Johnny started chuckling. He definitely didn't want to be in Kwest's shoes right now.

"Oh, come on Sadie. Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Look mad like that," he pleaded.

"Is this better?" she said as she placed an even angrier scowl on her face. Kwest groaned and started walking towards the refrigerator. "Don't walk away from me!" she shouted angrily.

Instead of looking scared, as Johnny undoubtedly would have been if he had been getting dealt a dose of Sadie Harrison's wrath, Kwest merely looked bored as he took out a bottled water from the fridge.

"I'm thirsty," he replied with an edgy tone in his voice.

Sadie clenched her jaw and pointed her finger at Kwest. "You listen here Kevin West Taylor—"

"Sadie," Kwest groaned. "You know I hate it when you use my full name!"

"I don't give a damn. If you know something about my sister that you're not telling, you would be the most inconsiderate person I've ever met if you didn't tell us."

"I promised I wouldn't say anything. And besides, it has nothing to do with your sister's nightmare. There's absolutely no correlation there, whatsoever. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go get a shower before I get accused of hating dogs or something. Later."

Sadie let out a frustrated groan and Johnny had much of an inclination to do the same. He wished he could strangle Kwest right now and actually get away with it.

"You can't strangle my boyfriend," Sadie said, as though she had just been inside his head. It was a little creepy. "That's my job," she added as an afterthought. "It's so unfair that he knows something about my own sister that I don't. What is that all about?"

She was talking, but Johnny had a feeling she wasn't really speaking with him. She seemed to be off in her own world, almost as if she were unaware of his presence.

He took the opportunity to reflect on his past relationship with Sadie and took advantage of her obliviousness.

He remembered the first time he had ever met Sadie Harrison. The word "bitch" came to mind automatically. To say they had not gotten along would be putting it mildly. It had seemed so odd to him that somebody as great and fun as Jude had been could have been related to the Ice Queen.

And then, something miraculous had happened. They had learned to like each other, or at least tolerate each other. She had come to the studio, clearly upset, and had been looking for Jude. He had never seen Sadie quite as distraught as she had been that day. He had wanted to brush the nagging feeling to check on the princess, but he, being the nice guy that he was, hadn't had the heart to do that.

So, reluctantly, he had gone to her and offered his shoulder to cry on. It had been like pulling teeth to try and get her to talk to him—she hadn't trusted him, hadn't liked him, and he had been so surprised that she had finally come clean with what had been bugging her.

He had been the second person to know about the affair that Stuart had been having.

Sadie had come to the studio with every intention to tell Jude what had been going on, but, as Sadie's bad luck would have it, Stuart had decided to choose that exact day to get Jude out of the studio. Johnny and Sadie had watched them laughing in the lobby from the studio and he couldn't remember a time where she had look more torn. He still remembered her exact words to him: "I can't do this to her. She worships him—it would crush her if she ever found out."

And so she had kept the burden of the secret to herself, never telling, never letting on that anything was wrong. He had gained a ton of respect for the older Harrison sister that day and his opinion of her had completely changed. He still hadn't understood why she couldn't have tried to actually show this kindness to Jude to her face; it had irritated him beyond belief that Sadie had still acted catty towards her little sister.

As it was, he and Sadie had started spending more and more time together and, eventually, they had tried dating. It had not ended very well—at least not for him.

They had never told Jude about their relationship. In fact, they hadn't really told anybody about it. They had both known that Jude wouldn't have been able to handle the fact that Sadie was dating her producer, her new best friend. It would have turned into a territorial match and they both had known it.

At first, they hadn't been sure they would be able to pull it off, mainly because Johnny sucked royally at lying—especially to Jude. But somehow, they had done it. Actually, they had done it quite well. Nobody had ever suspected a thing.

And that had been part of the problem.

When Sadie had told Johnny that she wanted to break things off because she had met somebody else, he had been crushed. It hadn't helped matters much that the person Sadie had met had been his new friend, new coworker. He wouldn't have guessed that Sadie would have gone for Kwest, so he had thought they had been pretty solid. He had been wrong.

The oldest Harrison sister had managed to create her own hole in his heart without him even noticing, and he hadn't even been able to talk to his best friend about it.

That had been around the time that he had blown up at Jude; he had been bottling up so much anger and resentment and hurt that he hadn't known how to deal with it or channel it, so he had wrongly taken it out on her. He had vowed to never do that again and he hadn't.

The whole romance topic was still a sketchy subject for him, though. Jude couldn't understand why he never seemed to have a steady girlfriend, since he was "such a great guy." Many times he had wanted to respond by telling her to tell Sadie that.

Sure, he went out on dates, had flings—he wasn't a monk. But he hadn't been able or willing to allow himself to be that vulnerable again. Not when he had fallen so fast and so hard and gotten burned because of it.

"What are you staring at?" she asked skeptically, interrupting his thoughts. Apparently, she wasn't as oblivious as he thought she had been.

He could feel the heat rise to his cheeks and he hoped and prayed that she wouldn't notice.

"I'm not staring at anything. Just thinking," he mumbled.

"About what?" she pried.

"About how much has changed in three years. I remember back when you made everybody think you didn't give a damn about her nightmares."

"I hadn't," she said quietly.

"Oh bullshit. That was an act that you put on for everybody and you know it. You were just as worried as everyone else—probably more." When she didn't say anything, he knew he was right. "I thought so."

She offered him a small smile. "I never have been able to hide things from you, have I?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "Not really."

Suddenly, the expression on Sadie's face turned angry, resentful almost. "Why are you so damn easy to talk to? Why do you have to be so uncomplicated?"

His eyes narrowed and confusion swept over him. She had done a complete 180 on him in a matter of seconds and he didn't understand what was going on. "I'm sorry?"

"Don't do that! Don't apologize! It's fucking annoying," she said angrily.

He blinked, feeling taken aback by her sudden attack on his personality. "Sadie, what's wrong?"

He tried moving forward to rest a hand on her shoulder, but she quickly scurried away from him. "Don't."

He sighed in frustration and could feel his own anger starting to develop. "What the hell is wrong with you? You were so calm one second and the next, you're yelling at me? What is your damage?"

"You are, Summers!"

"I'm not following here, Sades. You're gonna have to help me out."

"Why do you have to be so God-damn honest all the time? Would it kill you to lie every once in a while?"

And then, it was as if a light bulb went off in his head. He at least had an inkling as to why she was suddenly being so hostile towards him.

"Look, if you're having problems with your boyfriend, don't take it out on me, Princess."

Sadie froze with wide eyes and he mentally cursed himself. She glared at him and for a second, he thought she was going to slap him. "Don't _ever_ call me that again." She paused and took a deep, shaky breath. "You haven't called me that in years—why the hell would you suddenly say that?"

"It slipped. I'm sorry," he said quickly.

She sighed and shook her head. "Why do things have to be so complicated?" she whispered.

"They're only complicated when people make them complicated."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked crossly.

"It means that you refuse to let yourself be happy. I swear, it's like you _look_ for things to go wrong in a relationship."

"I do not—"

"Yes, you do. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Kwest Taylor. He is one of the least complicated guys that I know and if you're finding something wrong with him, you're probably making it up so you have an excuse to bail." She stayed quiet and turned away from him and he knew he had been right in his little spiel. "Stop trying to sabotage your relationships. You have a good thing going with Kwest. Don't ruin it because you're afraid."

And then, with that, he turned and walked away, not allowing her to say anything else.

He hated that he just gave her relationship advice. If anything, he should have lied to her and told her that Kwest was scum of the earth and that she should dump him. But, because he was a stand-up guy, he had just talked up some other guy for her benefit.

He better get major karma points for that one.

* * *

Johnny sat in Jude's room, watching as she slept peacefully in her bed. It was amazing to him that she was able to do that—he would never have been able to fall back asleep like that after having the nightmares that she had.

As amazed as he was though, he was dreading when she finally woke up.

After his conversation with Sadie, he had gotten a phone call from Riptide and apparently, there was some emergency that they needed him back there for immediately. His boss apologized to him profusely, but it hadn't changed the fact that his visit was now being cut short.

Maybe it was better this way, though. Old feelings had started to resurface downstairs in the kitchen. He had allowed himself to think about things he hadn't thought about in a long time. If he stayed, he was worried that those feelings might come on even stronger and that was the last thing that he needed right now. Sadie had made it perfectly clear when they had broken up that she wasn't interested anymore.

He shook his head, quickly squelching that line of that. He hated thinking about the breakup, about how she had almost been deliberately cruel to him…

He cursed under his breath as his mind wandered there anyway. It was like he couldn't shut his mind off from that time now that he had started remembering again. This was just further proving that he needed to go back to California, to get it away from it all.

He just hated leaving Jude again; he thought they'd have more time to spend together. What made him even more depressed was that they had spent most of his visit bickering. It wasn't right; it wasn't fair.

He knew that she still didn't trust him and it killed him. He wanted more time to prove to her that she had nothing to worry about, but, he supposed that the only way to do that would be to keep calling her and e-mailing her until she got the hint that he wasn't going anywhere this time.

As he continued watching her, he heard the floor creak and glanced behind him to see Sadie standing there, watching him. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably as she walked closer.

"I've never understood you two," she said quietly.

"What do you mean?" he asked, feeling confused.

She smiled and folded her arms. "You guys just have this incredibly weird relationship. You're so close and emotionally intimate with each other. You have this insanely cool bond. And you want to know the weirdest thing?" He shrugged, trying to make it seem as though he really didn't care one way or the other. "Back when we dated," she said even more quietly than she had already been, "I didn't even feel threatened by it. I knew that you and Jude were just friends and that nothing would ever happen."

He grunted and rolled his eyes. "Of course nothing would ever happen. She was just barely sixteen when we dated, Sadie."

At that, her smile turned promptly into a frown. "That doesn't mean anything."

"What do you mean? Of course it means something. It means everything," he stated firmly. He never would have dated Jude back then. Not that he would now, but he especially wouldn't have back when she was still so young.

"I'm going to say this once and you are never to repeat it, do you understand?" He nodded and watched as she grabbed a spare chair to sit next to him. "How much do you know about why Tommy left?"

He shook his head and hated feeling left out of the loop. Jude never really talked to him about her time with Tommy before he had left. "Not much. Jude doesn't really talk about it that much and I never pry. Why?"

"When they first started working together, they had this… bizarre connection. I don't even know how to describe it. It was stronger than even what you and Jude have."

"That's not surprising. I've seen them in the studio—"

She shook her head roughly, cutting him off. "Not like that. That was part of it, but it was more than that. When I would see them together, I would actually get _jealous_ of them. The way he looked at her…" She trailed off and her eyes drifted off into space as though she were in another place entirely.

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

She sighed and got up from her chair. "Stay here. I'll be right back. I need to show you something." She quietly shuffled out of the room with such an elegant poise that it could have given the royals a run for their money. It never ceased to amaze him how swiftly and gracefully she carried herself. That was one of the things about her that had always drawn him to her. That and her fierce competitive nature. It had always amused him how much effort she put into being the best at everything. Of course, he always thought it was unfair that so much beauty and talent was put into one person. It didn't seem right.

He snapped himself out of his admiring thoughts the moment he heard her coming back down the hall. When she came back into the room, he noted that she held a magazine in her hand and scoffed when he saw what it was. "_Talk National_? You actually read that shit?"

She glared at him as she sat down. "It's always good to know what's being said about people, even if it's a load of hogwash. Anyway, this was my sister's first appearance in a tabloid."

"Why are you showing me this?" He remembered her second appearance in a tabloid and wasn't sure if he wanted to see anything else that featured slandering material on his best friend.

"Look," she said with a determined tone.

Reluctantly, he grabbed the magazine from her and flipped to the page that she told him to. He blinked in surprise and sucked in a breath at what he saw. "Is this for real?"

"It's as real as you and me. Are you starting to catch on?"

"But she's—"

"Seven years younger than him? I know. But they had this connection. You can't fake something like that," she said with certainty.

"So why would he just bail like that if they had this… thing?" he said as he gestured to the picture.

She gave him a look that clearly questioned his sanity. "Hello? Did you just miss the part where I said that she's seven years younger than him?"

Understanding suddenly dawned on him. "So he left _because_ of what he felt for her?"

She nodded. "I'm guessing that's why. He gave everybody some bullshit story about needing a break and going to visit his family, but I never bought it. Not with the way that he looked at my sister."

"So he left…"

"Yep. And I never told Jude this, but I read her diary once."

"Sadie—"

"What?! I'm her older sister. I'm supposed to do those kinds of things. And besides, I know she's read mine probably just about as much as I've read hers," she said with a grin. "Anyway, apparently she kissed Tommy at her Vinyl Palace performance just before she went on stage."

Johnny felt his eyes grow wide. She had definitely had failed to tell him that. "What?" he choked out.

"He didn't kiss her back or anything. She felt like an idiot afterwards. But that had to have triggered something for him. He left so quickly after that. I'd be willing to guess that his self-control was slipping and he was starting to fall for my little sister."

They sat there for a moment, not saying anything. He was trying to wrap his head around everything he had just been told. It seemed like a lot of information to take in. When he thought about all that he just learned and all that he already knew, which wasn't much, it certainly made more sense as to why Jude held so much animosity towards Tommy when he had first come back. He did know that Tommy hadn't even bothered to say goodbye to her before he left. And they had been in the same building the night before he had had to leave.

He couldn't help but feel some sympathy for his best friend after finding out all of this.

"Why did you just tell me all of this? I mean, I'm grateful for the insight and everything, but you never bothered to tell me this before. Why now?"

She shrugged. "I don't know, maybe because you're leaving today. Or, maybe because it might be useful information in the future. I honestly have no idea why I just went behind Jude's back and told you all of this. Her time with Tommy before he left is something that isn't really talked about, even with me."

She was getting ready to leave the room when he stopped her. "Did she love him?"

"What?"

"Did she love him?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

She started to leave again when he stopped her, once again. "And Sadie?"

"Yeah?"

"You have no reason to be jealous of what they had."

Her eyes narrowed and she tilted her head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"I used to look at you that way, too, you know," he added quietly.

She shut her eyes tightly and shook her head and before he even knew what was happening, she was gone.

He sighed as he stared blankly out the door. He really didn't know what the hell he had been thinking when he blurted that confession out. It's not like it would make any difference. And besides, he had just told her not to mess up what she had with Kwest. Why would he go and say something stupid like that to confuse her?

He decided not to dwell on the matter and drew in a breath, then got up from his chair. The soft carpet felt smooth and comforting beneath his bare feet as he walked towards the door, which was just a few strides away and, of course, he would have to have a klutz moment right then and there. He had knocked over a laundry basket and watched as it tumbled over. "Shit," he mumbled.

He glanced over his shoulder to see if his clumsiness had woken her up and chuckled when he saw that she was still out like a light. He carefully started placing the clothes back into the basket and frowned when an envelope fell out.

The scrawl was easy enough to recognize—it was his own. He had written this letter to Jude a while ago, leaving it for her to read long after he had left.

But it was unopened.

He knew that Jude had to have known who it was from; his handwriting was as recognizable as her own was to her.

So why hadn't she opened it?

His scowl deepened as he realized that he didn't know his best friend as well as he thought he did. He had just learned more about her past that he had previously had no knowledge of and now, he certainly had no explanation for the unopened envelope he was holding.

None of this sat very well with him, but he was going to let it go. Everyone was entitled to his or her secrets, after all.

He tore the letter open and placed it on her unused pillow. She needed to read that—and he needed to be gone when she did read it. There was no way in hell he could be in the same room as her.

When he saw her beginning to stir, he quickly exited her bedroom and shut the door gently behind him. He had some packing to do.

* * *

The first thing she noticed when she opened her eyes was a distinct, lingering smell. Immediately, she recognized it and, despite everything she had just dreamt about a few hours ago, felt comforted by it because smelling the smell that was clearly Johnny made her feel warm and at peace.

It gave her a physical reassurance that he was here, that in a few moments, she would be face-to-face with him.

Her eyebrows crinkled when she recognized a second smell in the room—Sadie? She shrugged and ignored it, not really caring why Sadie and Johnny had been in her room together. She figured they were probably just looking after her. They both had a habit of doing that.

As she stretched in her bed, her hand came in contact with something rough and her eyes narrowed when she saw out of the corner of her eye what it was.

She reluctantly grabbed the piece of paper resting on her pillow and felt her heart speed up in anticipation. She knew automatically what this was and she wasn't sure that she wanted to read it. There was a reason that she had left it unopened all this time…

But obviously, _he_ wanted her to read it, and the more and more she thought about it, the more she realized that if she read it, maybe she would feel better. The temptation to read it had always been there, but she had never had the courage to open it. She had always been too afraid to see what its contents held.

Swallowing her fears, she turned on her bedside lamp and began to read…

_Jude,_

_I don't even know where to begin. I just knew that I had so much to say to you that I wouldn't be able to even think about being able to say out loud. So, I'm attempting a letter._

_First, I wanted you to know that as much as I have always wanted the opportunity to work at Riptide, it doesn't change the fact that leaving Toronto will be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Saying goodbye isn't something I'm the greatest at, and leaving you behind, is something that I'm sure I'll suck even more at. _

_I'm a grown man—you'd think that I'd be able to leave a punk-ass teenager behind with no problem._

She barked out a laugh through her closed, tightened throat. He'd always called her a punk. It was a proper nickname for her after all. Back when they had first met, her style had been the epitome of punk. He had actually laughed at her attire when they had their first meeting. From then on, she'd been known as 'his little punk'_._

_But it's harder than I thought it would be, so much. _

_Without even realizing it, it's like I've become dependent on you. Since I've started working with you, we've always had each other and it's going to be strange without you. I understand why you couldn't come with me, though. As much as I hated that you turned down my offer, I get it. _

_You're my best friend, Jude. You have such a big heart and such a captivating personality and I'm going to miss it. If I could pick up Toronto and move you to California with me, my happiness would be complete. _

_Nobody's ever gotten me, or accepted me, quite like you have. You've always had my back, no questions asked. I've never been shown that kind of loyalty before and, sometimes, I wonder if I really ever deserved it. I wasn't the best person in the world before we crossed paths—even after we met, I don't think I've always been the friend you deserved._

Jude frowned. What was he talking about? He had always been a good friend to her—scratch that. A great friend. Why would he belittle himself like that? It made no sense to her.

_I realize that this probably doesn't make a lot of sense to you, but trust me. You've deserved better from me and for that, I'm sorry. _

_Anyway, there's something else I wanted to tell you as well._

_Don't be so hard on Tom when I leave. I know your first impression of him wasn't the greatest when he got back, but I know you, Jude Harrison. You're going to fight him to the death on every little thing, but you shouldn't. Listen to him. Let him help you. I've talked to the guy a little bit and he doesn't seem so bad. He really knows his shit and I feel okay with leaving you in his hands. I don't know exactly what went down between you and Quincy all those years ago, but don't hold that against him. Start fresh and build a new relationship with him._

_One other thing—don't feel like you're being disloyal to me if you actually start liking him as a producer—or a friend, even. Don't be afraid to like him. _

Jude blinked. Where was this advice months ago when she had needed it? Why couldn't she have read this then? It would have saved her so much trouble. Maybe she would have given in to at least liking Tommy as a producer. It would have been so much easier if she had just read this.

It was still amazing to her, though, that he had been able to guess that she would be having issues with feeling disloyal. That had been one of her biggest problems. She had felt like she was betraying Johnny when she had discovered that she was connecting with Tommy all over again—and it had scared her. She had connected with him more than Johnny. She had forgotten how much she and Tommy just clicked.

If she had read this all those months ago, maybe the transition would have been easier.

She sucked in a breath and continued reading, hoping that she wouldn't find anymore reasons for wishing she had read this sooner.

_Also, don't worry about me, Jude. You'll have enough to deal with and I don't need to worry about you worrying about me. I'll be fine; I've been on my own plenty of times before and as much as this is going to suck, I'll be okay on my own. _

_Anyway, now that I've sufficiently embarrassed myself with all of this lovey-dovey shit that isn't normal for friends, I think this is a good place to end this letter. _

_I love you._

_Johnny_

She smiled after she finished the letter and felt her heart swell. She had been scared to read this letter for nothing. She really had no explanation for her fears—she thought she had, but they had been silly. She should have known better.

As she stretched, she heard Johnny's text message ring come on. His phone was right her nightstand, so she picked it up and saw that it was from his boss over at Riptide. She frowned. That couldn't be anything good.

Ignoring the nagging feeling growing in the pit of her stomach, she decided to take a shower and get dressed. Maybe if she had a distraction she wouldn't be tempted to think about what Riptide could possibly want with him first thing in the morning.

But getting ready to go and start her day hadn't taken nearly as long as she would have liked it to have taken.

So, she sucked it up, grabbed Johnny's phone, the letter, and then left her bedroom to go find him.

But when she found him, her heart sank all the way to her stomach. He was packing. She didn't need to read the text message to figure out what Riptide had wanted now.

"You're leaving," she stated.

He stiffened for the briefest of seconds and slowly nodded his head. "Yes," he whispered.

"That was quick."

He turned to face her and she saw sadness in his eyes. "I know and I'm sorry. They called me earlier and told me there was an emergency back at the studio. They were supposed to text me later with a confirmation flight… number," he trailed off as she waved his phone in front of him. "I didn't want you to find out this way."

"It's okay. I didn't read it or anything. Your suitcase kind of gave you away," she said with a small smile.

"You're not mad?"

"Why would I be? It's your work, J. When your boss says that they need you, then they need you. It can't be helped."

He smirked, walked over to her, and put an arm around her shoulder. "When did you become such a grown-up, Harrison?"

She punched him in the shoulder and he feigned hurt. They sat in a comfortable silence for a bit as she leaned into him with her eyes closed, savoring the moment. "This time is going to be different," he whispered. "I promise."

"I believe you."

"You do?" he asked skeptically. "Because before, you didn't seem so keen on the idea. What made you change your mind?"

"I'm a woman. It's my prerogative to do so," she said smugly.

"Jude," he reprimanded, not finding her attempt to be funny amusing at all.

She sighed and pulled the letter out of her pocket. "Okay. I read the letter that you very discreetly placed on my pillow," she quipped sarcastically. "It changed my mind. Thanks," she added quietly. "And I love you, too."

"I know."


	21. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20** 

Tommy smiled as he watched Jude singing through the glass separating the recording booth from the soundboard. Two months had passed since Johnny left again and things were great. 

Johnny had kept his promise to Jude that he wouldn't try to shut her out again and it was evident that she was so much happier—which meant that _they_ were happier. They had been spending a lot of time together recently and their friendship had grown significantly. He could actually feel himself growing attached to her, and, as scary as the idea was, maybe even falling for her. There wasn't anything he could do to stop it and he didn't even want to anymore. He was tired of fighting it. 

Their connection in the studio was stronger than ever. She had finally stopped fighting him on every little thing and they were now working harmoniously. Darius was, of course, thrilled with everything that they had been working on. 

She had also listened to him when he had given her advice about Jamie. She had had a run-in with the boy next door about a month ago and apparently, she had told Jamie that she was happy that he had gotten such a good job and that she hoped he was happy. According to Jude, Jamie was so shocked and taken aback that he had agreed to meet up with her again and have lunch some time. 

As he was adjusting some of sound levels, Kwest came and sat down next to him. 

"Hey man. How's it going in here?" 

Tommy nodded his head and his smile grew even wider. "Good. Scratch that—it's going great." 

Kwest gave a smile of his own and raised his eyebrows. "That good, huh?" 

"It's like those first few months of bickering and anger never even happened," he stated truthfully. It was amazing to him, really. 

"Well, progress is definitely good," Kwest agreed. 

Tommy nodded, but he felt his smile falter. Unfortunately, Kwest seemed to have noticed. "What? I thought all was well in Tommy and Jude land." 

"It is, but I feel like there's something she's not telling me." Kwest laughed and Tommy frowned. He didn't appreciate his best friend laughing at him. "What?" he asked crossly. 

"You do realize that is like the most hypocritical statement I've ever heard come out of your mouth? And that, my friend, is saying something." 

Tommy stayed silent for a moment before speaking again. He knew he had to choose his words carefully in front of his best friend. "Look, I know you know that I've pulled a lot of shit in the past. I'm not proud of it, but I can't change it. But I can change the future." He took a deep breath and looked down at the ground, avoiding looking at Kwest in the eyes. "I'm going to tell her. I have to, before she finds out some other way." 

When Kwest didn't say anything, he looked up at him warily. Tommy wasn't sure what his right hand man for so many years was thinking. Which was a new one. He could usually guess what Kwest was thinking. 

"You're in love with her," he stated with a hint of awe in his voice. 

He glanced back at Jude—who was now frowning as she was watching him and Kwest through the window—and nodded. "I think I am." 

Kwest sighed heavily and shook his head. "Tom, you know I'm happy for you, but if you're serious about her, you need to tell her as soon as possible. She trusts you right now, and believe me, that is a miracle in itself. Don't screw it up." 

"Do you think I want to? These last two months with her have been… I don't think I've ever been this happy." 

"Not even with—?" 

Tommy's eyes narrowed and he glared at Kwest. "No," he said icily. "Not even with her." He frowned as he thought about the anger he suddenly felt, or more accurately, the anger he felt every time she was brought up. It wasn't because he was still hurt over what had happened—he had gotten over it a long time ago. He was angrier about the situation he had been put in because of it. He didn't like not being in control of his own life.

"Do you think Jude feels the same way? I mean she did just get out of a two year relationship." 

He gritted his teeth and looked away. He hated the reality doses that Kwest kept dishing out. As he thought about it, he realized that he didn't have any idea how Jude felt about him. Not really, anyway. She actually hadn't been acting any differently towards him than before Johnny had left again. The only real difference was that they were getting along and weren't fighting the intense sparks flying between them. 

They had kissed a few more times since that time in the rehearsal space. One time in particular had been unlike any of the other kisses they had shared. They had been goofing off, and constantly making some type of physical contact with each other. Finally, when the teasing had gotten to be too great, he had grabbed her and kissed her. 

He had come dangerously close to losing control, but luckily, she had looked at him with wide, vulnerable eyes and he had known right away that she wasn't ready to take that step with him. Before he had noticed her hesitation, he had let his hands start to wander a little and he had felt her stiffen at the contact. Thankfully, he had had enough sense to realize that she was afraid, or at least that she had appeared to be afraid. Whether or not she actually had been or not, that hesitation had been enough to put a stop to everything. He wasn't going to force her to do anything she wasn't ready for.

But, despite the fact that they weren't officially together, he was almost positive she felt the same way that he did though. Maybe. Possibly. 

The more and more he thought about it, the more he started to second-guess himself. What if she didn't feel the same way as him? What if, when it came down to it and he ever actually officially asked her to be with him, she shot him down? 

"You haven't talked to her about that, I take it?" Kwest said as he interrupted his thoughts. 

He shook his head. "Not really." 

Kwest nodded and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Talk to her. Get this all sorted out," he said as he started to leave the room. "Oh and Tom?" 

"Yeah?" 

"I could always lock you guys in studio C again," he said with a chuckle.

Tommy rolled his eyes and chucked a pen at him, which proceeded to miss him by about a mile, which caused Kwest to break into full laughter. "You missed!" he called over his shoulder as he left the studio. 

As silence filled the studio, he watched Jude as she shifted her guitar and started playing a song he didn't recognize. His imagination was on overload right now, thinking about all of the what-ifs that he was faced with. He wanted to be with her—he didn't feel scared about it anymore. But, he was worried about the consequences of his past, and most of all, he was worried about Jude. 

He didn't want to believe that she didn't feel the same way about him, but he couldn't help the doubt he was feeling now. The niggling feeling that she was hiding something, something important, from him kept creeping into his brain. It was like he couldn't turn that line of thinking off at all. 

In any case, he supposed Kwest was right. He was being a little hypocritical right now, considering he had his own secret he was keeping from her. And, he could wager that it was bigger than anything she could possibly be keeping from him. 

"Everything okay?" Jude asked through the mic. She looked concerned as she studied him intently and, despite himself, he found himself smiling. 

"Everything's just fine, girl. Let's take it from the top, okay?"

He watched as she nodded and waited for him to cue her mark and, as always, she came in right on time. That was one of the many things he loved about working with her. Being in the studio and recording music came to her as naturally as breathing. It was as though she were born for this and it had always fascinated him. 

He started making various adjustments, completely zoning into the song and barely noticed when the door opened. "How's she doing?" 

Tommy looked up at Georgia and shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Things had still been rocky with Georgia ever since that disastrous going away dinner for Johnny. 

"She's doing great."

He stared into the recording booth, enviously watching her sing into the mic. It had been a long time since he had been behind the mic and he wanted nothing more than to be in Jude's spot at this very moment. 

Shock overtook him as he realized what he was thinking. The need to be recording hadn't been this great in a while. He didn't even know where it had come from. He thought it had been so far in the back of his mind that he had just forgotten how much he loved recording, so he was surprised when the want bubbled up inside of him again. 

"You'll be back in there again, Tom," Georgia whispered. 

His head snapped towards her and his eyes narrowed. How the hell had she been able to guess what he had been thinking? She didn't know him that well; not anymore, anyway. 

"Actually, that's one of the reasons I came here to talk to you. Look, I know you're freelance and all, and that technically, you're under contract already for your album. But, I want you to record. For me." 

"Why?" he asked, feeling slightly perplexed. Despite whatever animosity he may have held towards Georgia, he knew that he'd love working for her. For years, he'd wanted to get out of under Darius's thumb and now, it was being offered to him. 

"Because I know that your contract with Darius is going to be up soon. I know for a fact that he gave you a yearly basis contract instead of a per-album deal." 

Tommy couldn't help the amusement that was threatening to explode. That had been a mistake Darius had made when he had drawn up his contract and Tommy still couldn't figure out what Darius was thinking when he had his contract written. He had given it a thorough read-through before signing, but, to be on the safe side, Tommy had had a team of lawyers pick it apart and as far as he could tell, in a month's time, he would be out of Darius's contract. He shouldn't have been surprised that Georgia would have figured it out. She always had been a little sneaky. And smart. Two deadly combinations in a woman. "And how's that?" 

She grinned sheepishly. "I went up to his office one day to have a lunch meeting with him and while he was out, I pulled up your file. I've been interested in having you back at G-Major for a while now, Tom. Why do you think I pushed for you to come back to produce?" 

He remained silent and returned his attention to the soundboard in front of him. She sighed and sat down next to him. "Tom, I know you're still not happy with me for getting you back into producing, but you were the only one I trusted with her. She's become like a daughter to me." 

He could feel his resolve softening, but honestly, he had no idea why Georgia would have been crazy enough to trust him with his. While he was flattered, he was still confused. "Why? I bailed on her three years ago. So why would you trust me with her now? _She_ barely trusts me," he stated honestly. "It's been like pulling teeth to get her to let me back in." 

She chuckled and patted his leg. "That's exactly why I knew you could do it. Jude… she doesn't trust a lot of people easily." 

"I gathered that," he mumbled.

"I needed somebody as stubborn as her and you were the only one that I could think of that fit the bill," she said with a smirk. 

"Ha, ha," he said with little amusement. 

"Seriously, though. She and Johnny had gotten so close that I knew she was going to resist any producer I threw at her. But I knew you would keep at it and not put up with her resistance." 

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He knew she was right, and he knew he needed to apologize for being such an ass to her. "You know me too well," he muttered. "I'm sorry Georgia. You've always been nothing but a good friend to me and I've been an asshole to you. You didn't deserve my anger when I got back and I apologize." 

She smiled and got up. "Don't worry about it. Apology accepted. Think about my offer, Tom. I've heard your stuff and I have to say, it's pretty amazing. And maybe you could even talk Jude into producing for you." 

He whipped around in his chair so fast that he thought he was going to fall off. That was something he certainly wasn't expecting. He got up and walked over to Georgia to stop her from leaving. "Wait… what?" 

"Yeah. She produces. Didn't she tell you that?" 

"Obviously she didn't—otherwise, I wouldn't be standing here like a gaping idiot," he said sourly.

Georgia rolled her eyes and frowned. "Don't be too hard on her about this," she warned. "I probably shouldn't have even said anything in the first place. But I did and I can't change that now." 

"Why wouldn't she want people to know she can produce?" 

"You'll have to ask her that. I have to go. I have a meeting with a potential client in about fifteen minutes. I need to get some paperwork ready. See you later, Tom." 

He kicked at the chair when she left and when he turned back around, Jude was standing right in front of him. He nearly jumped out of his skin; he hated it when people snuck up on him like that. 

"Okay, what's with all the visitors Quincy? Do you even realize that it would still be recording right now if I wouldn't have pushed stop?" 

He grimaced and shook his head. He hadn't even been paying that much attention to the board since Georgia had come in.

As he looked at her indignant pout, he could feel himself getting mad. He wasn't angry, but he wasn't exactly happy with her right now. What else didn't he know about her? He had thought they were making real progress and now, all of that doubt was coming back full force. 

He needed to get her back into the booth before he questioned her about her producing ability. He wanted to wait until the time was right to ask her about it.

So, he took a deep breath and forced a smile. "I promise. No more visitors. We will get through this next take, okay?" 

She scowled deeper, but nodded. "Fine. I'll hold you to that." 

He watched her turn and walk back into the booth. He tilted his head to the side and decided to try something. "You want to try your hand with the levels?" he asked nonchalantly. Okay, so maybe now wasn't the right time, but he was feeling a little impatient. 

Upon his question, she stopped dead in her tracks and slowly turned to face him. He didn't fail to note that her face had turned a little pale. "Why would I do that?" she scoffed. "I don't know anything about that board and I'd probably just mess it up." 

He tried hard to stop himself from clenching his jaw; it was a bad habit of his that he always did when he was angry. Who would have thought that Jude Harrison would have been such a good liar? 

"I could teach you," he offered.

She bit her lip and shook her head. "Maybe you can teach me some other time. I'm not really all that interested right now. Thanks, though."

When she turned back around, she practically ran into the recording booth to get away from him. He let out a frustrated sigh and sank into his chair. Suddenly, he didn't feel quite so bad about keeping his secret from her. Yes, it was a little worse than her keeping the fact that she knew how to produce from him, but she had flat out lied to him just now. He was just lying by omission. If she would have asked, he'd have at least been truthful with her.

"From the top?" she asked as she placed her headphones on. 

"Yep." 

She nodded and, as always, started right on time. 

As he listened to her sing, he could tell there was a difference in her. She was nervous and jittery and it was affecting her vocals. He knew that they weren't going to get anything productive accomplished, so he sighed and paused the recording. "Go home, Jude." 

"What? Why?"

"Or take a break. Just do something. You're not hitting anything right now." 

She gave him a cross look as she folded her arms. "We've barely done one take." 

He shook his head. "Your others weren't good, either. I don't even think I could use any of the ones from earlier. Just take a break," he repeated with finality. "I know I need one." 

He stood up from the chair and retreated from the studio without looking back. He needed air. But mostly, he just needed to get away from her for a little bit.

When he stepped outside into the alley, he inhaled the fresh air and sucked in a deep breath. He had been completely ready to tell her his secret that he had been keeping from her, and it turned out, she's keeping something from him. Maybe more than one something. He didn't even know anymore.  

A few minutes later, he heard the door click open, and, sure enough, out stepped Jude Harrison, looking down at the ground with pure regret. Once again, she bit her lip and then let out a shaky breath. "I think we need to talk," she whispered. 

* * *

Moments later, Tommy found himself being dragged to Jude's Mustang and he frowned. "Uh, care to explain why we're in your car?"

She shrugged as she opened she shut her door. "It's a comfortable place for me to be. And besides, nobody will overhear us in here." 

"Good point," he said with a nod. When she didn't say anything, he pulled out his Blackberry and started texting his brother. There was no way he was going to be the one to initiate this conversation. He was in the middle of completing the text when, the next thing he knew, his phone was being ripped out of his hands. "What the hell, Jude? Give me my phone back!" 

"I came out here to talk to you—not watch you text your groupies," she said haughtily. 

"Okay, one, I was not texting groupies. Not that it's any of your business, but I was sending a text to my brother. And two, you weren't saying anything. I was bored, so I started texting," he said crossly. 

"Why are you being such an _ass_ right now?" 

He looked away and shook his head. "You wouldn't understand." 

"Well why don't you try me?" 

He sighed slowly returned his attention to her angry face. "Why would you lie? You're a lot of things, Harrison, but I didn't take you to be a liar." He had been so positive that she had been the one person in his life that was honest. It hurt to know that she was just like every other person he had ever met. 

"Georgia told you, didn't she?" 

He shrugged and looked away. "Why does it matter? And, how do you know it wasn't Kwest?" 

She grunted and he could almost bet there was an eye roll following. "Because Kwest knows I would kick his ass from here to Vancouver if he ever breathed a word." 

He snapped his head towards her and glared at her. "Kwest knew?" 

She nodded slowly. "He's even helped me learn. Mostly, Johnny taught me, but Kwest helped out some when Johnny wasn't around." 

"Unbelievable," he grumbled. "Who else knows and decided to keep me in the dark?" 

"Just Sadie." 

His eyes narrowed and confusion swept over him. That didn't sound right. How was it that pencil neck didn't know any of this? "Not even Jamie?" She shook her head and lowered her eyes. "Why would you keep that from your boyfriend? Why would you keep it from anybody for that matter?" 

She shook her head and shut her eyes tightly. "I can't…" 

"Why is this such a big deal to you, Jude? It's not something to be ashamed about. I mean you sing, write your own stuff… I don't get it." 

"This was a bad idea," she murmured.  

Hurriedly, she reached for the door, but he grabbed her wrist to stop her. He ignored the glare she was throwing his way; he was pretty angry himself right now, so he didn't really care if she was pissed at him. He wasn't going to let her get away so easily this time. "No," he practically growled. "We're going to talk about why you didn't want me to know you produced."

"I can't talk to you about this!" she blurted out. "I thought I could, but I can't. I just can't," she said as she yanked her arm out of his grasp. When she exited the car, he quickly followed suit and cornered her, not letting her escape into the building.

"Damn it, Jude, just talk to me. I thought you trusted me?" he pried. 

"I do," she whispered. 

"Obviously you don't. If you can't talk to me about something as simple as this, than you can't trust me!" 

"It's _not_ simple, Tommy! That's the problem." 

Frustration brewed in him and he could no longer contain it. He raised his voice and started yelling, unable to keep his voice even. "What, then? What is so difficult about this?! Why can't you tell me?" he shouted. 

"Because it's about you!"

Immediately, she covered her mouth with her hands and her eyes widened with shock. 

He slowly backed away from her and ran a tired hand over his face. He didn't know what to do with this. He didn't know what it meant. 

"What are you talking about?" he said quietly. "How is this about me?" 

She looked away, avoiding all eye contact, before speaking to him again. "I… Oh God, I don't even know where to begin." She paused and sat down on the ground, Indian style and he joined her, not caring that he was getting dirt on his favorite pairs of jeans. "Okay, well basically, it started out of necessity. I had to be able to produce my own stuff."

"Why? Why couldn't Johnny or Kwest do it?"

She bit her lip and looked down at the ground. "There were some songs that I wanted to record and they were really personal to me. I didn't want anybody else to hear them, but I needed to get them out of my system." She took a deep breath and continued on. "They weren't all about you, but some of them were. Those songs in particular I wanted to bury. I wouldn't let anybody listen to them, not even Johnny or Sadie. I didn't want them to know that I…" 

She trailed off and when she didn't finished, he grabbed her hand and coaxed her to continue. "What? You can tell me," he said gently. 

"I didn't want them to know that I still thought about you," she admitted. 

His eyes widened at her admission and he didn't know how to deal with what he had just been told. It shouldn't have surprised him, considering her confession in studio C not so long ago, but it did. He hadn't realized how much he had gotten to her. 

"I was so embarrassed," she said suddenly, which caused him to frown. Why would she be embarrassed about that? 

"Why?" 

"I had only known you and worked with you for three weeks! But it felt like it had been longer. I knew they wouldn't understand. Before that, I had claimed to the death that I hated you and everything you stood for, and I didn't want them to know how quickly I had let myself grow attached to you. They wouldn't have taken me seriously and they would have just thought that I was some obsessed teenager. I had started to fall for a guy that, for most of my life, I hated." 

He couldn't think of anything to say; he had a hard time comprehending this new information. Well, not all of it was quite so shocking. He was just a little surprised that she had admitted that she had had such strong feelings for him. He had seen it back then, but he had chosen to ignore it. He hadn't wanted to deal with the fact that a fifteen year old had put so much faith in him. It had seemed so wrong to him and the easiest thing for him to do had been to sweep it under the rug and pretend that she was just his artist and that her feelings were one-sided. 

It was the other information that was shocking to him. So, she had wanted to record songs in secret. He didn't know what to make of that, exactly. More than likely, they were songs about how much she hated him or something. Perhaps he was being egotistical, but he doubted those songs were about anything else. 

Then, on top of it all, she had trusted him enough to tell him. He couldn't believe that they were finally at a place where she almost trusted him as much as she had back then.

"Please say something."

He decided to focus on the easier part and ignore the other thoughts that were running through his brain right now. 

"Uh, so you didn't want anybody to hear songs about me? Don't get me wrong; I'm grateful that you kept the songs under wraps, but songs about hating a guy are usually a hit—" 

"Hating a guy? What are you talking about?" 

"Isn't that what your songs are about? I mean I'd hate me too after I left the way that I did." 

She tilted her head to the side and smiled, which was an unexpected reaction for him. "Tommy, I think you need to come with me." 

"Where?" 

"I'm the only one with copies of the songs I recorded. I think it's time someone else heard them." 

She stood up, wiped the dirt off her jeans, and grabbed his hands to help pull him up. He couldn't believe that she was actually letting him hear songs that she had kept so close to her for this long. 

As she was leading him back to her car, guilt overwhelmed him. Here she was, about ready to bare her soul to him, and he had yet to tell her the truth. Kwest was right—he was a hypocrite. 

"Jude, I need to tell you something." 

She paused and looked back at him with soft, trusting eyes. "What is it?" 

He was fully prepared to tell her everything right there, but as she gazed at him with those big, blue-green eyes, he realized that he couldn't do it. Not now. She would hate him once she found out. Maybe he was being selfish, but he wanted to hold onto this new faucet of their relationship just a little while longer. He wasn't used to her trusting him like this—even if it was a false trust. 

He forced a smile and shook his head. "Nevermind. It can wait." 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yep. Let's go hear those songs." 

As she smiled back and started the Mustang, he pushed down those feelings of guilt that came rushing back, full force. He would tell her. Eventually. 

They were stopped at a traffic light when he saw that two nuns were walking on the sidewalk. They just so happened to peer into the window and Tommy could have sworn that they knew he was being a selfish liar. Perhaps he was losing his mind, but he was positive that one of the nuns was giving him a scolding look. 

He quickly lowered himself down in the seat and pulled up the right side of his jacket to cover his face. 

"What's with you, Quincy?" she asked with a hint of amusement in her voice after the light turned green. 

He quickly sat back up in his seat once they were well past the nuns and he shook his head. "Nuns make me uncomfortable," he mumbled. 

It wasn't a complete lie. Nuns really did make him uncomfortable. He just happened to leave out the reason why they were making him uneasy now.    

"You don't like nuns?" she asked with amusement in her voice. 

He shrugged and stared out the window. "I'm not exactly the religious type."

"That's shocking," she mumbled sarcastically. 

He stayed silent, offering no comeback at all to her comment. 

He had a feeling that seeing those nuns was a sign, a warning of sorts. He was being told that he needed to tell Jude the truth and sooner, rather than later. 

But he was afraid. He was scared that she would be so angry with him and they would be done for before they even had a chance to get started. And he wasn't so sure he was willing to let that happen. 

* * *

Tommy frowned when they pulled up to the Harrison household. He had thought for sure they were headed to the rehearsal space. "What are we doing here?" he asked as he unbuckled his seatbelt. 

"I kind of live here, Quincy." Tommy shot her a glare, letting her know that he wasn't amused with her sarcastic comment. She laughed as she shut off the car. "This is where the songs are, okay? I have an old hiding place that I use—nobody knows about it. Not even my parents."

He nodded and followed her up the stairs. As stupid as it sounded, he was a little nervous about hearing these songs. He would be, according to her, the only other person besides herself that had heard them. Quite honestly, he didn't know what to expect from them. Sure, she said they weren't 'hate' songs, but he wasn't sure he liked the alternative much better. 

As it was, he didn't have much time to dwell on things. Before he knew it, they were out of the car and on their way up the small set of steps that let to their front door. 

When they got in the house, she threw her keys down a little table that was by their staircase, took off her jacket, and motioned for him to follow her up the stairs. Having no choice, but do so, he reluctantly headed up the old stairway and paused when they reached her room. 

Sure, he'd been in there before, but he couldn't help but think that was a little different. It was going to be more intimate. 

She opened her door and when she must have noticed that he wasn't behind her anymore, she stopped and turned around, giving him a confused look. "Are you going to come in, or just stand in the hallway all day?"

"I'm good here, I think."

Her confusion quickly turned to amusement as she folded her arms and tilted her head to the side. "You've been in my room before, Quincy. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were nervous." When he didn't say anything, her eyes widened and a wide smile graced her lips. "Oh my God. Are you?" 

He scoffed and averted his eyes from her gaze. "No," he said unconvincingly. 

She started cackling and clutched her stomach as she doubled over with laughter. He could feel the heat rising to his cheeks and that just made it worse, knowing that she saw the embarrassment written all over his face. 

Finally, she at least made an attempt to muffle her laughter and mumbled something that vaguely sounded like, "sorry". 

Apparently, she was getting a little impatient, though, because she grabbed him by his arms and pulled him inside of her room. "It doesn't look any different than the last time you were in here, Tommy. Well, maybe it might. Considering you were on my _bed_ the last time," she said with a smirk.

He glared at her as he sat down in one of her spare chairs. "Excuse me, but the last time I was in here, the circumstances were enormously different. You had just screamed bloody murder and I was terrified out of my wits that something had happened to you."

If he hadn't been looking, he wouldn't have noticed her stiffen for the briefest of seconds. But she was good; he had to give her that much. When she turned back around, her face betrayed no signs of discomfort. It was completely neutral, soft even. "Yeah, about that. I want to say thank-you for being in the right place at the right time, so thanks. Every so often, I'll have these nightmares that really freak me out. It was good you were there," she added softly. 

He nodded and leaned forward in his chair. "What are they about? Why do they freak you out so much?" 

She remained silent and shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. "I… it's a long story." 

"We've got time."

She sat down on her bed and took a deep breath. "Well, I kept telling myself I wanted to tell you about this, so I guess now is as good a time as any. This just isn't something that I normally talk about a lot." She paused and looked away from him, then proceeded to grab her pillow and hug it to her chest before she continued speaking. "They're about my accident that I had," she said in a quiet, barely audible voice. "It was about a week after my sixteenth birthday. Jamie, my friend Kat, and I had finally started talking again; when they found out everything that was happening with me, they came to talk and we sorted everything out. Things weren't exactly back to normal, but we were trying. So we all decided to go out and celebrate our reunion.

"I was driving. They said it was a drunk driver that hit us. We were going through an intersection and I saw the car coming through the red light too late." 

Tears were freely flowing down her cheeks as she was reliving what, to him, had to undoubtedly be the worst time in her life. He wished he knew what he could say to make it better for her, but he had nothing. He had no words of wisdom, no comforting words to offer. 

"Kat died instantly," she whispered. He noticed her breath catch and he watched as she unsuccessfully tried to hold even more forming tears at bay. "She was in the passenger's seat and got the full impact. She was so tiny to begin with. She didn't have a chance," she choked out. She sniffled and wiped away her tears that wouldn't seem to stop. "There was another woman who died. I don't know her name, but she was in the other car. I don't exactly know what happened to the driver. Georgia had gone to Darius for help and he pulled some strings to keep me out of court and the press." She paused and sucked in a breath. "Jamie luckily got out of it with just a few bruises and scratches. I don't know what I would have done if I'd have lost him, too." 

His throat tightened as he took in the haunted expression in her eyes. It didn't seem fair that she had to have gone through all of that at such a young age.

While he took in the information she just gave him, he realized that she never divulged what had happened to her.

"And what about you?" he said quietly. 

"What about me?" 

"What happened to you?" 

She sighed and looked away. "I'm not exactly the right person to ask. I don't remember much about that night. All I remember is the impact and then waking up in the hospital a few weeks later." 

"Weeks?" he asked, hearing the alarm in his own voice. 

She gave him an incredulous stare. "Tommy, reporters were all over this story. According to Johnny and Sadie, the coverage was practically on every news channel. How could you have not known that I was in the hospital?" 

He looked away in shame. He should have known—he would have known if he had listened to Kwest. His best friend had called him right around the time that he had made his resolution to avoid topics of Jude Harrison at all costs. 

Kwest had mentioned Jude and any time Tommy tried to change the subject, Kwest had continued to push to talk about Jude. Tommy remembered that Kwest had kept saying he had something important to tell him about his former artist. But Tommy had wanted nothing to do with her; he had been trying to stop thinking about her and Kwest had been ruining his attempts, which had made him angry. So he had hurriedly made an excuse that he had to go.

Any time he had noticed Kwest was calling, he ignored the call. 

He never paid attention to the press, so he wouldn't have seen the news in a paper and he rarely watched television, so catching a news report had been out of the question. 

He had basically isolated himself from the entertainment industry and now, he felt like the world's biggest ass. 

"I don't know what to say, Jude." 

"How 'bout the truth? You do know what that is, don't you?" she said crossly. 

He sighed and hung his head down, keeping his eyes firmly glued to the carpet. "I was ignoring you," he finally admitted.

"What?" 

He let out a frustrated groan and got up from his chair and stood by her wall. "Anything and everything that was even remotely related to you, I ignored. Anytime somebody tried to bring you up for whatever reason, I shot that topic of conversation down. I was trying to not think about you at all. I guess it was the whole 'out of sight, out of mind,' thing." 

When he finally got the guts to look back at her, he saw that she was trying her best to cover the hurt written on her face. 

She nodded slowly and looked away.

He cursed under his breath as he took in the hurt expression on her face. He quickly walked over to her and forced her to look at him. "I'm sorry, okay? I was a mess—and an ass. I thought that ignoring anything about you would help me to forget. But I shouldn't have done that and I know that now. I'm so sorry that I wasn't there, so sorry," he mumbled under his breath. 

She shrugged and attempted a smile. "It's okay. It's in the past. You're here now and you've been there when I needed you."

He shook his head, roughly, refusing to agree with her. "I should have been there _then_. I should have—" 

"Tommy, stop. It's over and it's done. We can't go back. So stop beating yourself up over it. You're a different person now." 

He looked away from her and fixed his eyes on the floor. "I'm not so sure about that," he whispered. 

"Why would you say that?" 

"Because it's true. I'm not that different, Jude. I wish I were." 

She frowned as she furrowed her eyebrows together and folded her arms. "Are you okay? You've been acting really weird all day." 

He sighed and sat back down in his chair. "I'm fine. I've just been distracted. Let's listen to those songs—what do you say?" he asked with a weak smile. 

She seemed reluctant as she scrutinized him—probably for any signs that he was lying. But, he had had years and years of practice of masking his emotions and only allowing people to see what he wanted them to see. She was no exception. 

So, she nodded and got off of her bed and motioned for him to turn around and he promptly rolled his eyes. "Nobody knows about this hiding place and I'm going to keep it that way. Now, turn around. And no peeking," she ordered. 

He complied with a chuckle and turned around, listening to the sound of her shuffling through her room. 

When she finally told him he could look, he saw her walking towards her computer with a hard-drive in tow. 

After she set everything up, she shielded the computer from him, more than likely blocking things that she didn't want him to see. When she got to the page that was clearly safe for viewing, she turned to him with a soft smile and said, "This is the song I think you should hear. If this doesn't clue you into the fact that I never hated you, I don't know what will." 

She double-clicked a file that simply said 21. 

_You never lied to me, not once.  
__It's not your fault that I can't trust.  
__It's in my past, it's in my path and I can't go there._

_Making a mess out of this game.  
__To see it all go up in flames.  
__So tired of being ruthless and reckless._

_Time to be your only one.  
__To almost be your way to young.  
__Time to crash into the sun.  
__Time to be your 21.  
__Time to dream that love will last.  
__Time to drive my car to fast.  
__Time to walk before I run.  
__Time to be, oh, time to be your 21._ 

His breath hitched and he couldn't believe the words he was hearing. He had left three years ago because he hadn't wanted her to know what he had been feeling and it turned out, she had had him figured out. Or at least it seemed that way. 

As the song continued playing, he realized that all of his efforts back then had been wasted. The only thing he had managed to accomplish was driving a wedge between them and not being there for her when she had needed him the most. He had left to stop himself from falling further and making things complicated, but nothing had changed. It was three years later and things were still complicated, mostly thanks to him. 

He couldn't help but wonder what could have been if he had stayed. Would he and Jude still have wasted all of that time bickering, or would they have been even closer? Would she have become his 'way too young'?

_It's gut wrenching sometimes.  
__It's life threatening sometimes.  
__It seems like nothing can wash it all away._

_Time to be your only one…_ 

When the song stopped, she gazed at him expectedly with anticipation clearly written all over face. She was waiting for him to say something, make some kind of move. But he didn't know what to say. 

"Say something." 

He sighed and glanced over at her. "Why 21?" 

"Why do you think?" she whispered. 

After hearing those words, he knew she had known back then. The whole purpose of him leaving had been to avoid hurting her and playing with fire, but she had seen right through it all. He had always suspected that she might have known, but actually hearing her say it was different. 

He realized then, at that moment, that he wanted to be with her, and that he didn't want anything to stand in the way. And because she had just shown him this song and let him in this way, he knew she wanted to be with him too, and he was finally going to do something about it. 

He quickly walked over to her, softly brushed her out of her face and lowered his lips to hers. When she started moving her own lips against his, he felt confident that this time would be different; this time when the kiss ended, he knew there would be many more following it. 

The way she was kissing him right then felt good. It was almost like she was branding him to be hers. 

She broke away from the kiss and he felt his breath hitch in his throat when she looked up at him. She brought her hand to his face, cupping his cheek and he leaned into her touch. "I want to be with you."

He swallowed hard and took a step back to study her. He knew what she was talking about, but he had to be sure that she wanted it. They weren't even officially together. "Jude, are you sure about this?"

She smiled and bit her lip as she nodded. "I've never been more sure of anything." 

"But—" 

"I've spent so much time being afraid of being with you, of letting myself fall for you again. I'm tired of being afraid, Tommy. Look, I know this is fast, especially considering how much I've been pushing myself away from you, but I feel like I need to say this." 

"What is it?" 

She took a deep breath and looked at him right in the eyes. "I'm in love with you." 

It was like his brain had frozen. He heard the words, but he didn't know how to respond. Did she actually just say what he thought she had? 

She looked embarrassed—probably because he was standing there with a blank expression on his face while she had just poured her heart out to him—and she quickly started fumbling for words. "You don't have to say anything back. Oh God, I shouldn't have said—" 

He cut her off and promptly grabbed her by the shoulders to pull her in for a kiss. He could feel laughter rumbling in his stomach when she sighed, but he held it back, knowing it would break the moment if he allowed himself to laugh. 

When he pulled back, he leaned his forehead against hers and brushed her hair out of her face. "I love you, too." 

She smiled as she leaned into kiss him again. He felt her arms wrap around his neck and he pulled her tightly against him. 

The kiss quickly turned heated and passionate and he could feel himself losing control. 

She took a step back from him and slowly walked backwards to her bed until the backs of her knees brushed against the mattress. She sat down and for a moment, they just stayed like that, looking at each other with unabashed admiration. 

He saw the hesitation in her eyes, but that didn't stop her from lifting her shirt up over her head and tossing it on the floor.

"Jude, we don't have to—" 

"I want to." 

When he saw that determined gleam enter her eyes, he knew she wasn't going to back down, so he walked over to her and knelt down until he was eye level with her. He placed his hands on her thighs and let his right hand travel to her cheek.

She brought both hands to his wrist that was cupping her cheek and smiled as she lowered his hand. 

He leaned into kiss her again and he felt her hands fumbling for the hem of his shirt, so he stood up and lifted his arms to make it easier for her. As soon as his own shirt was thrown on her carpet and forgotten, she quickly reconnected their lips and pulled him towards her as she lowered herself on the bed. 

His lips traveled down her jaw line until they finally rested on her neck, where he began to nibble and gently bite down on her skin. She was driving him crazy with the small moans that were escaping her throat as he allowed his hands to begin to roam. 

When he was finished with the spot on her neck and was satisfied with mark he had left, he traveled lower, all the way down to her stomach before he kissed her on the mouth again. 

As the kiss continued to grow even more heated than before, he shivered when he felt Jude's fingertips running over his chest. She was clearly starting to feel braver and daring. Her hands roamed all the way down to his abdomen and he reluctantly broke the kiss, feeling the need to breath. 

He looked down at her as she opened her eyes, which were sparkling with need and want. 

And then, as he looked into those blue-green orbs, a thought that he really wished would have stayed away entered his mind. He couldn't let this continue until she knew the truth. 

"Jude?" 

"Yeah?" she whispered breathlessly. 

"I need to tell you something. Something important." 

She smiled and shook her head as she grabbed either side of his face and pulled him in for a breath-taking kiss. She crawled on her knees and began laying kisses down his jaw, then, she gently nibbled on his earlobe. "You can tell me later." 

The fact that she had just nibbled on one of the more sensitive parts of his body and, was seemingly throwing caution to the wind, undid him. 

And when she started kissing him again and let her hands go just a little too far south, he knew there was no going back now. 

He knew he was being selfish and that, in the end, she would only just end up being more hurt and angry with him, but at that moment, he didn't mind. He was willing to take the chance if that meant that he could be with her now. "I love you," he whispered. 

She grinned and lowered herself back on the mattress, once again. 

At that point, all rational thought was out the window and somewhere down the river. He just hoped that when the truth finally came out that she would be willing to give him a chance to explain


	22. Chapter 21

Hey all!

This is all caught up to what I have written out now. Things are about to get a little interesting. Around Chapter 23, Tommy's secret will be revealed and as of right now, chapter 22 is going to consist of a pretty fluffy Jude and Tommy. Most of chapter 23 will as well.

Thanks so much for the awesome reviews! I can't believe so many people are still reading this story; it makes me feel pretty excited! Thanks for the support!

Anyway, enough of my blabbering. On to the chapter! Hope you all enjoy it!

* * *

**Chapter 21**

G-Major was in a frenzy for the next two days. Jude barely had any time to process what had happened between her and Tommy. And, as it was, there was barely any time for her to talk to him—not that he seemed to mind much. He had been oddly distant with her since they left her house that day and she didn't know what to make of it. He had said he loved her, but the way he was acting seemed to prove otherwise.

As she was watching him make a cup of coffee from across the lobby, EJ suddenly filled her line of vision. "You're needed."

"Why?" she asked as she took a sip out of her coffee mug.

EJ let out an impatient huff and began dragging her across the room. "Because, you're the birthday girl and the reason that everybody has been running around like chickens with their heads cut off—"

"I didn't ask for any of this, EJ. In fact, I'd rather we just skipped the whole thing, anyway," she mumbled.

The tiny woman in front of her stopped dead in her tracks and turned around, giving Jude a glare that made her slightly afraid. "Don't even think about it. Now you're coming with me to pick out a dress. No arguing."

Jude sighed as she followed EJ up the stairs. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

When Jude finally picked a dress out, she had to admit she was feeling slightly better about everything. The dress was perfect and she actually couldn't wait to wear it the next day.

While she was thinking that maybe the party wouldn't be so bad after all, her eyes spotted Tommy sitting on the couch in the lobby, chatting animatedly with one of the interns. They were flirting. Openly.

She swallowed and felt something unpleasant bubbling in the pit of her stomach.

What was he doing?

She glanced away when his eyes found hers. There was something unreadable in them, something almost foreboding. Unapologetic. It was like he didn't care that she saw him flirting with another woman mere days after they had had mind-blowing, breath-taking sex. What she had felt... that couldn't have been one-sided. Could it have?

But what if it had been? What if she was just another notch on his bedpost?

She could feel herself growing angrier and angrier with herself as her imagination started to run wild. Everybody knew his reputation, herself included. She had always been so happy that she had avoided "Hurricane Quincy" as she had dubbed him. She had thought herself to be smarter than this; she had vowed to not ever fall for his tricks like so many others had. How could she have been so stupid to let herself believe? Why would she be different than any of the other girls?

As she watched him resume his conversation with the leggy blonde, she smirked evilly. Two could play at this game. She wasn't going to sit around and let him toy with her like this.

Across the lobby, she spotted somebody that she knew had a crush on her and walked over to him without so much as even glancing at Tommy. Perhaps what she was doing was cruel and selfish, and colored her a bitch, but she didn't particularly care at the moment. She wasn't exactly in a charitable mood.

She took in the appearance of the lead guitarist from one of the other bands, Garden of Eden. He had short, perfectly styled black hair with jet green eyes. It was a striking combination and she was honestly surprised that she hadn't noticed sooner. He wasn't just cute… he was hot.

He stared at her dumbly, clearly shocked that she was giving him the time of day. She flashed him a flirtatious smile and stuck her hand out for him to shake. "Hi. It's Mark, right?"

His band mates started snickering and when he didn't say anything, one of them that had longer blond hair, she thought it might have been the drummer, gave him a nudge and it seemed to have snapped him out of it. "Uh… Mike. It's Mike," he said as he took her hand.

She smiled apologetically. "Sorry, my mistake. I'm Jude."

"It's okay and I know. My younger sister has every single one of your albums."

Blonde boy started laughing, as did the rest of his band mates, and said through his fits of laughter, "Yeah, and so does he."

Mike glared at him and punched him on the shoulder. "Get lost, Coop."

Coop started laughing even harder. "Sure, sure. Whatever, dude." He was still laughing as he dragged the rest of the band members away from Mike and Jude.

Jude smiled as she watched the band walk away, wrestling with each other. They reminded her a lot of SME, so she couldn't help but be automatically taken with them. "They seem like a fun group of guys."

Mike looked embarrassed as he rolled his eyes. "They're a pain in the ass is more like it."

"I sometimes feel that way about my band. They're like the three brothers I never wanted," she added with a chuckle.

She was getting ready to say something else when EJ came barreling through. "Out of my way, people."

Mike looked slightly scared and backed far away from EJ as he looked around the building. "Man, what's going on around here? We just got back from a break today and it's been pure insanity."

Jude grew sheepish and looked down at the ground. "Yeah, that would be my fault. It's my birthday tomorrow."

"Ah, that's right. The annual Harrison birthday bash."

"More like the annual Harrison disaster bash," she said sarcastically. "Birthdays and me just don't mix."

"Well maybe that will change this year."

Jude's head shot up at that and she gave him a dubious look. "I doubt it," she said dryly. As she thought about Tommy and his leggy friend, she thought the outlook for her birthday this year wasn't looking too great.

He gave her a small smile and shook his head. "Cynic."

It was true. She was a cynic, but there wasn't anything she could do about it. If she tried to be positive about something, it usually just came back to bite her in the ass.

Not wanting to dwell on the subject of her cynicism, she tried changing the subject. "Well, anyway, whether I like it or not, the party will be here tomorrow, along with the unbearable guests. Which brings me to my next question. How would you like to help make it a little more bearable for me?"

He quirked an eyebrow and folded his arms. "Don't get me wrong. I'm flattered that you're asking me, but this wouldn't happen to have anything to do with Quincy, would it?"

Jude's eyes narrowed and she frowned. She was a little flabbergasted that all traces of the shy guy that she had just met less than five minutes ago were gone. She hadn't expected him to be so blunt. "What does he have to do with any of this?"

Mike rolled his eyes and smiled. "You tell me." He chuckled at her silence before he continued. "I'm not blind, Jude. I saw you glaring at those two from across the lobby and judging by the way he's looking at me right now, I'd say your plan to make him jealous is working."

Jude felt thoroughly embarrassed by the time he finished. She didn't know she was so obvious. "Well, this is slightly embarrassing," she mumbled.

Mike laughed heartily and shook his head. "Don't be embarrassed. You can't help who you like. But, I do have to admit that watching the big vein in his forehead come alive is rather amusing."

Jude shared his laugh and was taken aback when she heard someone impatiently clearing his throat. She shouldn't have been surprised to see that it was Tommy.

"Sorry to interrupt, but we have recording to do," he said crossly.

She rolled her eyes and scoffed. "We didn't seem to have recording to do a few minutes ago when you were with your lady friend over there," she said as she nodded towards the couch.

She watched with barely contained amusement as he worked his jaw. "Let's go, Jude," he said, clearly choosing to ignore her comment.

The temptation to ignore him and push his buttons even further was enormous. But as she looked up at him, she saw just how thin his patience was running. So, reluctantly, she turned towards Mike and gave him an apologetic smile. "Sorry. Apparently duty calls."

"No worries. Understandable," he said with a thousand watt smile.

"You never did answer my question, you know."

"And which question would that be?"

"Are you coming tomorrow?" she asked sincerely. Now that she had actually talked to this guy, he seemed like someone she would want to continue to get to know; he was very easy to talk to.

"It's a date," he said with a wink before walking away.

Jude smiled and glanced over at Tommy just in time to see him mocking Mike. "It's a date," he said and proceeded to exaggerate the wink. Jude scowled at him and punched him in the shoulder. "What?"

* * *

By the time lunch came around, Jude was ready to cry. She didn't know what to do because Tommy was constantly snapping at her and making her re-do takes. He had just yelled at her again and told her they needed to do another take.

"I can't, Tommy. If I sing anymore without a break, my voice is going to go," she said hotly.

"Suck it up. We have to get this song mixed by tomorrow. Georgia wants it ready to go for your party," he said without looking at her.

She couldn't take it anymore. The distance, the coldness—it was beginning to get to her and she didn't like it one bit. What happened to the loving, gentle guy she was with two days ago?

"What the hell is your problem?" she asked through the mic.

He had been working the soundboard, not really paying any attention to her, but at her question, his eyes finally drifted to hers. They looked annoyed and uninterested.

"What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, asshole. Do you treat every woman that you say you love this way? Or was that just a way for you to get inside my pants?" she said angrily.

"Jude," he sighed. "Don't."

Her eyes widened and she could literally feel herself threatening to explode. "That was the wrong answer, Tommy."

She took her headphones off and threw them on the ground and stormed out of the studio to make her way outside. She barely heard someone calling her name and didn't bother stopping.

Once she finally made it outside, she fought back the aching need to break down. She wasn't going to shed another tear over him. She had cried too many times because of him and she wasn't going to let him do this to her anymore. She had poured her heart out to him, told him that she loved him, and all she got was distance in return.

She remembered what he had said to her, how he said it, and how she had felt when he said those words. The look in his eyes when he had said it had made her feel like she was the only girl in the world for him. She couldn't help but wonder how many other girls had felt the same way.

_"I love you."_

She clenched her jaw as the words floated through her head. Clearly, he hadn't meant them. How could he have with the way he was acting now?

"Jude?"

She turned around in surprise when she saw Kwest standing outside with a concerned look on his face. She tried smiling for him, but instead, her resolve to not cry broke when she saw how worried he was.

Immediately, his arms were around her, pulling her close and offering soothing words of comfort.

"What happened?" she heard him ask after she had calmed down.

As she wiped some remaining tears from her cheeks, she hugged herself and let out a bitter laugh. "Your best friend is an asshole," she said bitterly.

Kwest sighed and shook his head sadly. "Tell me something I don't know."

"So if you know he's an asshole, why do you keep being friends with him?"

She saw the slightest bit of hesitation from him, but she knew he would tell her. They had always had a pretty honest relationship. "I'm friends with him because he needs me to be."

"What?" she asked, feeling more confused than she ever had in her life.

"Look… things with Tom are complicated. He's not had a lot of good happen to him in his life and people have always abandoned him. He doesn't have a lot of stability and whether or not he'd admit it, he needs something solid in his life. We've just always been there for each other—he's always had my back when it counted."

She didn't say anything. There wasn't anything _to_ say to that.

"Jude, he's a good guy. It's just that sometimes when he sees he's getting too attached to someone, or starts caring too much, he pulls back about twenty miles. You can't let him."

"Why?"

Kwest quirked an eyebrow. "What do you mean why?"

"He doesn't care—so why should I bother?"

He gave her an incredulous stare and he actually looked angry with her. "Are you kidding me? Are you really _that_ blind?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said stubbornly.

"Okay, do you not remember how much of an even bigger ass Tommy was when he first got here? I've seen him go through some bad spells before, but that was one of his worse ones. He had a wall up thicker than I'd ever seen it, but he's changed… he's let you in, Jude."

She scoffed and crossed her arms. "Bullshit! He's not let me in at all! I barely know anything about him!"

Jude glared as Kwest started laughing. "Are you serious? Jude, you probably know more about him than just about anyone. Except me."

"Well then, that's pretty sad," she mumbled.

The door swung and both Kwest and Jude turned just in time to see Tommy stepping over the threshold. He looked irritated, but, at the same time, there was another emotion there in his eyes, one that she couldn't quite place.

"Kwest, could you—?"

"No problem." He turned to go back in the building when he stopped and turned around to look at Jude. "Remember what I said, okay? Think about it."

The door shut and Tommy gave her a curious look. "What was that all about?" Jude shrugged noncommittally and he sighed. "You're not going to make this easy, are you?" Her response was staring at him, choosing not to say anything. "I'm sorry. I've been a jerk these last couple days and I just… I'm not good at this, okay?"

No. It wasn't.

He paused and gave her a soft smile. "You remember the morning after we slept together?" Jude fought back a laugh; of course she did. She remembered _everything_ about that and she didn't think she'd be forgetting any time soon. But instead of laughing, she simply nodded and waited for him to continue. "When I woke up and saw that you weren't there, I didn't tell you this, but I panicked. I didn't hear the shower running at first and I thought you had gone. I know—it was a stupid thought, considering we were at _your _house.

"Anyway, I know this doesn't help matters much, but I'm sorry for the way I've been acting lately. Look, I need you to understand something. That morning I realized just how much I've invested in you—in us. I got scared, so I tried distancing myself from you." He paused before he rambled on. "I never meant to hurt you, Jude."

"Bang up job on that, Quincy," she mumbled as she turned away from him.

"I'm sorry! I don't know how else to say it!" When Jude didn't say anything, she heard him walk up behind her and she stiffened when he placed his hands on her shoulders. "I know I've been a prick these last two days and I can't change it. I wish I could, but I can't. It's just…"

She could feel her resolve starting to crumble and when she turned around to finally face him, she saw sadness in his eyes. Vulnerability.

"What?" she whispered.

"People always leave, Jude," he said with bitterness. "How long is it going to be before you leave, too?"

When she tried to place a reassuring hand on his cheek, he turned his head, refusing to look at her. As she looked at the pained expression on his face, she could feel her heart breaking a little for him. She'd never seen anyone look quite as tormented as he did right then.

With every fiber of being, she wanted so badly to ask him what happened to make him this way, but she knew it wouldn't do any good. She had to believe that he would tell her when he was ready.

So instead, she grabbed him by the chin and forced him to face her, but he wouldn't look at her. "Tommy," she said forcefully. She was hoping that she could actually get him to shift his eyes her way, but he seemed to be refusing. "Please," she said softly.

Finally, his eyes fluttered to her own and she wanted to make sure that he saw the determination in her face. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

He looked skeptical at her words. "You say that now, but what happens when things get complicated? I'm not a simple guy, Jude. I never have been."

She smiled and tilted her head to the side as she leaned up to whisper in his ear, "You can't get rid of me that easy. You're pretty much stuck with me, Quincy." Jude paused as she took in the small smile he gave her. As much as she meant what she said, the hurt and confusion over the last two days didn't just disappear. She could still feel the dull ache in her chest when she had watched him put a wall up to keep her out. The fact that he had explained made it a little better, but the lingering doubt was still there. She didn't know if she could handle him doing that to her again. "Just don't ever shut me out like that again, okay?"

Tommy nodded as he leaned in to wrap his arms around her waist. She willingly fell into his embrace and returned it as she buried her head in the crook of his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she heard him whisper.

And for some reason, that seemed to be enough for that moment.

* * *

Jude's party went off without a hitch. She actually couldn't believe it. It had been one of the best birthdays she had ever experienced so far and she had a feeling it was all thanks to Tommy. The only thing missing was Johnny, but he had called her to explain that they were on a tight deadline to finish an album and there was no possible way for him to make it out there. She missed him like crazy, but she had a distraction from the nostalgia: Tommy.

He had made her feel like a princess, like she was the most important thing in the world to him. And oddly enough, after their conversation in the alley, he had become permanently attached to her hip. Not that she minded.

She was dancing with Tommy and saw him leaning closer. "Hold it," she said with a raised eyebrow. "What are you doing?"

He smirked and leaned into nuzzle her neck, ignoring her protests. "I want to tell everyone about us. Tonight."

Her eyes widened as she pulled back to look at him. She was fully aware of some of the suspicious looks people were giving them, but she ignored them. The only thing she was focusing on at the moment was the person in front of her. "Are you serious?"

He nodded, all traces of teasing gone. "I don't want to hide us. I'm tired of dancing around and trying to keep our feelings a secret. I think it's been long enough since your breakup with Jamie, don't you?"

She was frozen and taken aback. That definitely felt like it came out of nowhere. But while she felt uncertain and slightly scared, there was also a different kind of thrill fluttering through her. Did she finally have Tom Quincy all to herself? "Are you sure?" she asked in a shaky breath.

"I've never been more sure of anything. I'm done running."

She smiled widely and threw her arms around his neck; she heard him chuckle as he buried his head in her neck. "I take it you like the idea?"

She laughed and pulled back to whisper in his ear, "How 'bout we show everyone we're together instead?"

He pulled the rest of the way back and quirked an eyebrow with a somewhat amused expression on his face. "Are _you_ sure? You do realize what you'll be getting yourself into if you let everyone know that you're my girlfriend?"

Her heart fluttered a little at his terminology and she still couldn't quite believe it. She was his girlfriend. She was his—and he was _hers._

She grabbed either side of his face, pulled him in to kiss him and felt him smiling against her lips. She felt lost in his kiss and everything else just seemed to fade away. They didn't even pay any attention to the flashing cameras that were filling the room. Not that she cared at the moment. All she cared about right then was him. Them.

Finally, the need for air forced them to break apart and when she actually looked away from him, she saw that every single pair of eyes in the room were on them. Some of the looks conveyed shock and surprise; some had looks of disgust and jealousy while others, such as their friends, told a much different story. Those were the warm, caring, accepting stares they'd received.

"Uh… I think our secret's out," he whispered.

"Somehow, I just don't care," she said, smiling as she felt him lean his forehead against hers.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her head against his chest, taking in the scent of him. She was still hugging him when she heard him say, "I love you," in her ear.

She smiled even wider and couldn't help but feel like the luckiest girl in the world. She didn't even care when Georgia had come up to them, offered her congratulations to them, and then said that she needed Jude to introduce her to some people.

"That alright with you, Tom?" she asked with an eye roll.

"I guess," he said with a shrug. "Just hurry back with my girl, okay?"

Her stomach did a small flip.

Normally, she had issues with being claimed. She was her own person, after all. But for some reason, she had no problems being branded _his_ girl—just as long as everyone else knew it, too.

"Yeah, yeah," Georgia said with a smile. After they were out of earshot of Tommy, Georgia turned to Jude with a serious expression on her face. "Are you sure about this Jude? I mean absolutely—?"

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life, Georgia. Nothing you can say will talk me out of this."

"Oh I wasn't trying to talk you out of it. I was just making sure this was what you wanted. I'm actually glad to hear that you're so set on this—Tom needs someone like you in his life. I think it will do him a lot of good."

"What do you mean?" Jude asked curiously.

"I just mean what I said, that's all. It's about time something good came his way," she said with a soft smile, almost motherly. "Anyway, there are some people that I want you to meet. I know, this is your birthday and we shouldn't be doing business, but I promise—it'll be worth it."

"You mean it'll be worth it for my new song," she added with a snicker.

"Well, that too."

As they made their way over to the people that Georgia undoubtedly wanted to introduce her to, she saw Mike chatting with a pretty brunette and smiled at him. He saw her and gave a nod, along with his brilliant smile that she remembered. She was happy that he came after all, and seemed to have found a new friend.

She tore her gaze away from her new friend as she and Georgia walked up to a small group of people huddled together with drinks in their hands. They were all older gentlemen, all aging and balding… except for one. Georgia made her rounds introducing Jude to the men, but she barely noticed. Her eyes seemed fixated on this one individual. There was something about him…

He was a little taller than her and a little less built than Tommy. His skin had a dark complexion and his eyes were a striking gray. The look in those eyes made her uncomfortable.

"Jude, this is Tony Abbot. He's with Ace Records," Georgia said with a smile on her face.

Reluctantly, Jude took Tony's hand to shake it. "Nice to meet you, Jude," he said with smile. To anyone else, it would have looked like a perfectly charming smile, but to her, it felt slimy, creepy even.

When their hands connected, for a second, Jude couldn't breathe. She felt as though he was squeezing the air out of her and suffocating her.

And, along with the contact came a memory, one she'd rather forget, a time that, until now, she _had_ forgotten.

_"Hey, you're Jude Harrison, right?" she nodded reluctantly as she swallowed another shot. "Oh wow! Do you mind if we get a picture together?"_

_She agreed to it and before she knew it, after the picture was taken, he offered her more alcohol and she was drinking more and more tequila shots. Finally, she reached the point where she knew she had to stop drinking. She didn't know what was going on and the entire room was spinning. _

_"Let me help you to your room," the same guy that she had gotten her picture with said. _

_"No I'm okay. I can make it," she said with a slur. _

_She tried standing up, but immediately fell against the counter. The guy chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Sure."_

_He slipped a helping arm around her waist and helped her up the stairs. She was getting ready to thank him for helping her when she saw that he was starting to undress her and she was too far gone to do anything to stop him…_

She quickly removed her hand from his and gasped for breath. She could feel herself starting to hyperventilate—she needed air.

"Jude, what's wrong?" she recognized the voice but couldn't see who it was. She tried desperately to focus on the person speaking to her, but she couldn't. All she could do was ache for more air. "Jude?"

The next thing she knew, Mike's worried face was filling her line of vision. He was kneeling below her, looking up at her face as she was hunched over. "What do you need?"

"Tommy," she managed.

He nodded and within seconds, she felt Tommy's presence before she even saw him. "Jude? What's the matter?"

Almost immediately, her breathing had finally slowed to normal. She felt more at ease with Tommy there.

Turning to him, she ignored the perplexed looks on the executives' faces and despite the immediate sense of comfort his presence offered, she felt as though she was ready to pass out. "Take me home, please."

Tommy nodded and slipped his arm around her waist, but she quickly recoiled from his touch. The action was far too similar to the one she just remembered. He looked hurt that she had shrunk back from his touch, but he didn't say anything.

At least he didn't say anything until they were outside.

"Jude… I'm a firm believer that everyone is entitled to their secrets, but that…" he trailed off and didn't bother hiding the worry on his face. "What was that? And don't say 'nothing' because I'm not stupid. I know better," he said firmly. "I saw everything. That kid didn't even have to come and get me. I saw the look on your face before you even started having trouble breathing. You looked like you were ready to pass out."

She sighed and let her head fall back as she looked at the night sky. "That man, he…" she couldn't even finish the sentence because the truth was, she didn't _know_ what happened. The flash of the memory that she had had in the building was as far as she could remember.

But she wanted to tell him what she did know; she trusted him.

"A while ago, I had been in a really bad place. Jamie and I had gotten into a huge fight—it was about the accident. He had been drunk and he had said some things… Anyway, it was the night of my sophomore album release party and I couldn't take it. I just cracked under the pressure and I left.

"I went to Barrie to meet up with Mason Fox, the second winner of _Instant Star_. That night involved a lot of drinking—so much drinking that I couldn't even walk on my own. One of the people I had met that night helped me up to my room…" she cleared her throat and looked away from Tommy.

"I don't remember much after that," she said quietly. "But there were pictures." She heard Tommy's sharp intake of breath and felt hesitant to tell him the rest. But she figured she'd told him this much already, so she might as well keep going. "He blackmailed me. The first couple pictures that were in the envelope weren't that bad, but as they went on they got worse and worse. Sadie didn't even let me look at the rest."

Silence engulfed them and she turned towards him and saw an angry gleam in his eyes with his fists clenched.

"Tommy?"

He took a deep breath and shakily released it. "I'm okay." She waited for him to calm himself because she knew that he _wasn't_ okay. She could tell that her story had affected him in a bad way and figured it was best to let him be for a moment.

He had appeared to calm himself down finally and gave her a tentative stare. "What did Abbot have to do with it?"

"You know him?" Jude asked, surprised.

Tommy shrugged. "I've met him once before at a business meeting. The guy seems like a slime ball if you ask me. Everybody else just seemed to love him though."

Jude snorted and hugged herself. "You don't know the half of it. I… I think it was him."

"What?" Tommy asked with narrowed eyes. "Was the guy in any of the pictures? Could you see his face at all?"

Jude shook her head quickly. "No. His face was always blocked. But I'm positive that it was Tony." The name felt like bile on her tongue. Just saying it made her want to throw up.

Tommy nodded as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "I believe you, I do. But how are you so sure?"

Jude hesitated for a second before she told Tommy about the flashback inside. "It was like touching him triggered something. I'd blocked that night out of my mind for so long that I couldn't even remember what had happened before I got plastered. But I remember at least some of it now. And I _definitely _recognized him."

He was quiet for a moment, almost as if he were contemplating something. When he spoke, she saw it was with extreme reluctance. "There's something that's confusing me about all of this, Jude."

"What's that?"

"Why would he blackmail you?"

Jude shrugged and shook her head. "I don't know. He wanted money, so I assume that's reason enough."

Tommy roughly shook his head in clear disagreement. "Jude, that guy's loaded. It makes no sense for him to have blackmailed you for money."

"What?" she asked quietly.

"He's a self-made millionaire, Jude. He'd have no reason to want your money."

Jude felt as though the wind had gotten knocked out of her. That put her situation in a whole new perspective. "Then why?" she whispered.

"I don't know." He pulled her into a hug and embraced her tightly. "But we'll figure it out, okay?"

She nodded and felt a kind of numbness overwhelm her. She thought this had all been put behind her. Why now? Why did she have to see that guy and have everything come rushing back? Why couldn't she have just not remembered this for the rest of her life?

She tightly shut her eyes as she leaned into Tommy, trying to block everything out.

So much for a perfect birthday.


	23. Chapter 22

Hola!

Thanks so much for all the positive feedback on this. I appreciate it tons!

Anyway, sorry it's taken a while for a new update, but this was definitely faster than the last one. I must apologize though--it's a little short compared to the rest of the updates. But I think it ended in a good spot.

There should be one more chapter before Tommy's secret. I haven't decided if it's going to happen in 23 or 24 yet, so we'll see. I've wanted to give them some 'happy Jommy' time before his secret comes out.

Anywho, on to the next bit of the story. This is kind of a filler...

* * *

**Chapter 22**

That night, sleep did not come easily for Jude.

Tommy had dropped her off at her house after they had both decided it would be best to not stay the night together. They didn't want to give the press anymore fuel, so with extreme reluctance, he had merely walked her to her door and she hadn't bothered holding back the laughter when she had looked at his face. He'd had the look of a deprived man—a pouting deprived man, for that matter—and it she just couldn't have contained her laughter, even if she had wanted to.

But her desire to laugh at his pouting came back to bite her in the ass. Before she had gone to bed, she spent most of her time thinking about Tommy and how much she wanted to be with him again. One night just didn't seem to be enough for her.

It was incredible to her, really. When she had been with Shay her first time, it was okay. She hadn't been mesmerized by him by any means; she had done it because she thought she had loved him. Maybe in her own way, she had, but it was more like a puppy dog love than a real love.

With Jamie, it had been great. She hadn't necessarily ever wanted to jump his bones every time she thought about him, but he had always been giving and she really couldn't complain about the sex life she and Jamie had had. He may have been sociably awkward at times, but what he lacked in social skills, he made up for in the bedroom, surprisingly.

But with Tommy, everything was different.

Even before they had actually slept together—even before she and Jamie had broken up for that matter—she had wanted him all the time. She could remember one day that he had been wearing a simple pair of jeans and a dark blue sweater that had really brought out his eyes. When he had walked by her, she had gotten a strong, overwhelming whiff of his cologne and she'd had to walk the opposite direction to keep herself from attacking him right in the G-Major lobby.

And now that they had finally been together, her wanting him all the time only worsened. She knew it was silly, considering it had only been three days, but she couldn't help it. The man was beyond sexually appealing to her and he somehow just knew what she wanted without her even having to say anything.

She shook her head as she remembered that night and tried to get it out of her mind; if she kept thinking about it, it would drive her insane.

So she decided to try and get some rest since it had been a long, exhausting day, but apparently, rest just wasn't in the stars for her tonight. For over an hour, she tossed and turned, never seeming to be able to get comfortable. Not only that, but she just couldn't seem to shut her mind off.

Every time she shut her eyes, she saw _his_ face. She had a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach when it came to Tony Abbot. There was something strangely familiar about him and it gave her a wary feeling that she just couldn't shake. Aside from the fact that she was almost positive that it was him that she had met that night in Barrie, she felt like that hadn't been her only encounter with him. But she couldn't place where she had seen him before.

She turned fitfully in her bed and glanced at the clock, which now read 3:30 in the morning. She let out a heavy sigh and sat up as she threw the covers off of her; she knew she wasn't going to be getting any sleep any time soon.

Her phone was on her nightstand and she bit her lip, contemplating whether or not to call Johnny. She knew he would still be awake—it was only 12:30 in California and he never went to bed before one.

Breaking down, she grabbed her cell and dialed his number as she waited patiently for him to pick up.

Finally, when he picked up, she smiled at the grumpy voice that came on the other line. "Hello?"

"Did I wake you?"

"No, no. Of course not!" he said quickly. She couldn't help but smile wider as she heard his voice perk up once he realized who it was. "No, I just didn't check the caller ID and I thought it was work trying to get me to come in."

"At 12:30?!" she asked, hearing the alarm in her own voice.

She could practically hear him roll his eyes. "It's not that uncommon in this business. You of all people should know this, babe."

"I know," she sighed. "I just don't like how many hours you're keeping, J." She cringed as she heard the worry creeping out of her voice.

"That makes two of us, then. So how—wait a second. What are you doing up at 3:30 in the morning? I know it was your birthday and everything, but knowing you, you probably were in bed by like one o'clock."

She cursed his knowledge of her. She knew she shouldn't have called him this late. "I just couldn't sleep, that's all."

"Is that all?" he asked sarcastically. "You know I don't believe that for a second, right?"

She grumbled under her breath before answering, "I know."

"So what's going on?"

She hesitated, not sure of whether or not she wanted to tell him. If she knew him like she thought she did, he'd be on a plane back to Canada in a second, not even caring if he risked his job.

"It's not anything important," she said quietly.

Johnny let out a small grunt and said, "If you're losing sleep over it, then I'd say it's important."

"Let me rephrase that—it's nothing for _you_ to worry about."

"That's where you're wrong. I worry about you all the time; I can't help it."

Despite herself, she found herself smiling at his words. "I know you do, J. And I love you for it. But there's really nothing for you to worry about. Just a restless night is all," she said, lying through her teeth.

There was silence on the other end of the phone and she knew automatically that he still didn't believe her.

"You know I don't like it when you lie to me, Jude."

"Johnny—"

"But I'll let this go. For now."

"Thanks," she whispered. "There is something I have to tell you, though," she said as she thought of the tabloids that would undoubtedly have hers and Tommy's picture on the cover.

"Shoot."

"Um. Okay. I don't exactly know how to say this, so I guess I'm just gonna say it." She took a deep breath and braced herself for his reaction. "Tommy and I are together—officially." She was met with complete silence and for the first time in a long time, she had no idea what he was thinking. "Say something," she breathed.

"I can't say I'm really surprised," he finally managed. "I mean I am, but only because I was wondering how long it was going to be before either of you owned up to your feelings. I wasn't sure it was going to happen, actually. Both of you like to live in denial," he said grimly.

Jude quirked an eyebrow and smirked. "What are you, Dr. Phil all of a sudden?"

"Ha, ha. Very funny."

"I thought it was," she added smartly.

"Yeah well, you would. So when did this happen?"

"Well, technically it just happened earlier today, or yesterday… whatever. Unofficially, it happened a few days ago."

She listened to silence before he started talking again. But when he spoke, he sounded hesitant and she could definitely tell he was holding something back. It gave her an uneasy feeling. "Don't get me wrong. I'm happy for you—I am. I just… just promise me one thing?"

"What?"

"Be careful, Jude."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked with a frown. "I thought you liked Tommy."

"I do—but that doesn't mean that I want you to throw caution to the wind. You're well aware of his reputation…"

Jude groaned in frustration. "You've got to be kidding me! You're seriously going to sit there and lecture me about his reputation?"

"Jude, you're forgetting one very important thing in all of this—the man has a past. Don't forget that."

"You are unbelievable!" she exclaimed indignantly. "Aren't you the one that told me to give him a chance?"

"Don't turn this around on me," he said icily. "I told you to not completely shut him out. I never said for you to date him."

"I don't get you. What do you want from me?!"

"I want you to be careful. That's what I want. I don't want you to get hurt."

Jude frowned. He sounded like he knew something that she didn't and that didn't exactly sit well with her. "Why are you making it sound like it's such an absolute certainty that I'm going to get hurt in all of this? What makes you so sure?" she asked warily.

"I'm not, okay? It's just that it's smart to look at the man's track record and it's not exactly the best in the world—especially when it comes to you."

"Thanks for all of the support, Johnny," she said curtly. "I've gotta go."

She quickly hung up the phone, ignoring the protests on the other end.

She ignored the hurt swelling in her chest. He was supposed to be the one person she could always count on for support, no matter what. He was supposed to have her back. Instead, he'd voiced the doubts and concerns she'd had since Tommy had come back. He had pointed out the obvious and she hated him for it.

Who was he to say that they would fail? He couldn't predict the future, after all. It was unfair that he was dooming them before they even really got started.

A feeling of suffocation flooded her as happy memories that all contained Johnny filled her mind. They had spent many hours in this room together and right now, the reminders were like pouring salt on her already bruised ego.

Looking around, she grabbed her sweatshirt that was strewn over the back of her chair, threw her hair in a messy ponytail, and made her way down the stairs to head for the rehearsal space.

She had a song to start writing.

* * *

"You look like hell," Tommy said that morning in the studio.

She would have glared at him, but she was too tired to do much of anything. "Thanks," she mumbled.

"Seriously—what's up?" he asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I couldn't sleep last night. I just kept tossing and turning and wound up being even more tired than what I originally was."

She watched him as he nodded and she could tell he was growing sympathetic. "You had a nightmare, didn't you?" She shook her head no and he frowned. "Jude—"

"I didn't have a nightmare, I swear. That would actually imply that I fell asleep at some point during the night," she said grumpily.

"So then what?" he prodded. "I know something's bothering you. And I'm not going to let it go so easily now that we're dating," he said determinedly.

Jude sighed and knew that he was telling the truth. He wouldn't let this go. But the problem was that she didn't want him to know about the small tiff between her and Johnny. He had enough issues with being good enough and the last thing she wanted was to place even more doubt in his mind.

She carefully chose her words and made sure that her face did not betray her; Tommy knew her too damn well.

"I… I kept seeing _his_ face." Tommy's eyes immediately softened and he wrapped his arms around her even tighter. She buried her face in his shoulder and tried not to think about that part of her night. She really didn't want to talk about it anymore, actually.

And what Tommy said next gave her the perfect opportunity to try and discretely change the subject. "I'm sorry. I wish I wouldn't have had to leave last night," he mumbled.

Jude smirked against his chest. "Yeah, me too," she said with a suggestive tone to her voice.

"Here I am, trying to be sensitive and you go and make it something dirty. Thanks, Harrison," he said with a chuckle. "Well, since we're on the subject, we could, uh, make up for lost time if you want," he whispered into her ear.

Mission accomplished.

He was so easy to handle sometimes; it was actually times like these that made her wonder how he ever kept that mysterious persona of his.

Jude's smirk turned into a full smile as she pulled out of their comfortable embrace to gaze up at him. "Wasn't it you that said no PDA at work, Mr. Quincy?"

"You mean you don't want to bend the rules right now?" he asked as he bent his head down to start trailing kisses down her neck.

She tingled at the contact and a shiver of pleasure ran down her spine as he reached the sensitive spot on her collarbone and she seemed to have lost all ability to speak, or think for that matter.

That inability only worsened when he lifted his head from her shoulder and began kissing her senseless. She instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck and tried pulling him even closer to her—she didn't want even an ounce of space between them.

Much to her displeasure, he pulled back and all she could see was an arrogant smirk on his lips. "I thought you were all about sticking to the rules."

She rolled her eyes as she said, "Screw the rules," and pulled him back in for another kiss.

This time, he didn't pull back again. Almost immediately, his tongue traced her lips, asking for the entrance he undoubtedly knew she would grant.

He began walking her backwards until her butt crashed into the soundboard and lifted her so that she was now resting properly on it. She willingly spread her legs for him so that he could settle himself in between them.

As much talk as she heard from Sadie about the soundboard being amazing, she had to admit that it wasn't as great as it was made out to be. The buttons were digging into her butt, so she shifted to try and get more comfortable, but was unsuccessful. Jude was getting ready to ask him if they could move when he suddenly assaulted her senses with his hands. Before she had even known what was happening, he had slipped his hand under her shirt and her bra to cup her breast. He moved his thumb across her nipple and she shivered at the sensations he was causing.

Moments later, her shirt was on the floor, forgotten and their lips were reconnecting. They were kissing each other as if they were starving for each other and unable to sustain the hunger.

But there was one thing she could do to try and alleviate her frustration—he was wearing far too much clothing in her opinion. She eagerly started undoing the buttons on his shirt and was ready to peel it off of him when they were interrupted.

"Ah, come on guys. I have to work here, you know?" Kwest said with a whine. "The least you could do is lock the door when you two are about to get happy," he said grumpily. Kwest promptly walked away as soon as he finished complaining.

Jude was mortified as she hid behind Tommy's massive frame and could feel her cheeks burning with embarrassment. To make things even worse, Tommy was laughing. Loudly.

"This wasn't funny!" she shrieked as she hurriedly searched for her shirt.

"It kind of was," he said between laughter.

She glared at him as she pulled the old article of clothing over her head. "How is Kwest—who is like my brother, by the way—seeing me practically having sex with his best friend funny?"

"This isn't anything new for Kwest," he said, clearly amused. Jude folded her arms and scowled at his words. And he also must have realized his mistake as soon as the words came out of his mouth because he winced and tried to correct his damage. "Well, you see, what I meant was—"

"You might want to quit talking right now, Tommy."

He looked slightly scared as he nodded quickly. "Noted."


	24. Chapter 23

Hey everyone!

I'm sorry I've fallen behind on posting again. I suck.

But, good news, you don't have to wait quite as long for the next chapter. LOL. I'm halfway up to chapter 26 right now, so I'm pretty pleased with the progress I'm making. I don't exactly know how many chapters this will be. I'm kind of winging it. I don't want it to be too terribly long, so we'll see how long it starts to get.

Anyway, this chapter is a reveal chapter--Tommy's secret to be exact. This is where the game starts to get stepped up, so I hope you all enjoy it! Thanks so much for all the feedback. I'd love to hear all of your thoughts on this, so keep those fabulous comments coming! You all rock :)

* * *

**Chapter 23**

Three weeks had passed since they began dating. Jude was on top of the world and couldn't believe how incredible her luck was. He was even helping her forget about the accident's anniversary that was coming up in a few days.

Sure, there was no possible way that she would be able to forget it _entirely_, but he was making it easier.

Jamie had never made it easier. He had just made things worse.

The very first year after Kat had died, Jamie had drunk himself into a stupor, came over to Jude's house and smelled like a brewery. For a whole week, he'd gotten drunk to the point where he'd become an unrecognizable person.

They never even talked about his drunken escapades. When it happened the first year, they just swept it under the rug and went on as though it were business as usual. They didn't even talk about it when it'd happened again the second year after.

Now that the third year was approaching, she felt a little more at peace with everything. She didn't feel like she wanted to throw up at the mere mention of Kat's name, nor did she feel like she was the most horrible person on the planet for, not only actually having survived that night, but for living as well.

Tommy was helping her come to grips with everything and she loved him even more for it.

They had gotten into a pretty decent fight about it when she had started distancing herself from him. He had known what she was doing and yelled at her, called her a hypocrite, and she'd fired back with some other colorful terms for him as well. But he hadn't let her pull away.

The second he had noticed, he'd done something about it. He'd forced her to talk about it and she was glad. No one else had ever done that; they had just let her be, but not Tommy.

And, speak of the devil himself, she couldn't help but smile as he walked into studio A with two cups of coffee in his hands from the coffee shop down the street.

"So that's where you've been for the past half hour," she said with a smirk. "You know, we've lost a lot of valuable recording time," she said teasingly, mocking what he had said just the other day to her.

"Well fine. I'll just go dump this, then—"

"No, no, no!" She quickly grabbed the coffee out of his hand and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "No need to let perfectly good coffee go to waste," she said as she took a sip. "Besides, all that wasted time would have died in vain if you dumped it."

"Uh, huh," he said with a grin.

When she took another sip, she realized that it was the coffee she normally ordered—exactly the way she ordered it. "How did you know that this is what I get? I never told you…" she trailed off.

He rolled his eyes and sat his coffee down as he began getting everything ready to go for their session. "Simple. I pay attention, Harrison. I'm not completely oblivious," he added with a chuckle.

She smiled as her stomach did a small flip—it seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

"Thanks," she said quietly.

"You're welcome." He got up from the soundboard and walked over to her and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead. "I just figured you could use some decent coffee instead of the stuff here. From the looks of the faces you've been making when you walk into hospitality, I kind of guessed that you were sick of the coffee here."

Her smile widened and she stood on her tiptoes and gave him a lingering kiss. When she pulled away, she was shocked to find that he was scowling. "Don't start what you can't finish, Harrison."

She laughed and pulled even further away to evade his grasp. "Oh no—we agreed. No more soundboard incidents."

"Exactly. _Soundboard_," he said mischievously. "You never said anything about any of the other spots in the studio. And, if I recall correctly, the recording booth is soundproof."

"Tommy," she said with a sigh. "As appealing as it sounds, it's probably not the best idea…"

"But—"

"Maybe later." She walked up to him and whispered in his ear, "In your new office—on your new desk…"

His eyes perked up and he grinned. "Whatever you say Ms. Harrison."

She laughed and shook her head. "I'll be right back. I'm just going to go to the bathroom before we start our session. You know, since you make me do about a thousand takes without a break."

"Yeah, yeah—you know you love the extra hours," he said as he grinned even wider.

She chose to ignore him, heard his laughter echo in the room, and continued on her way. When she walked out of the studio, she saw SME goofing off in hospitality. Kyle had a can of cheese whiz in his hand and looked like he was getting ready to spray it on Wally while his back was turned.

She quickly ran up behind Kyle and grabbed the can out of his hands and he frowned at her. "Dude, what gives? Why'd you take the cheese?"

Jude made a face and put the disgusting can of cheese back in the refrigerator. "Do you guys _ever_ work?"

"Hey—we work. We just happen to work up an appetite while working and spend all of our free time here."

"Sure," she said with an eye roll.

Spied spoke up and smirked. "And besides, our producer is currently occupied. We have nothing to do since you seem to be taking up all of his time lately."

Jude felt the heat rush to her face and mumbled, "Whatever. I'll see you guys later." She knew if she stayed there any longer, they would ridicule her to no end.

As she walked away she heard her band mates laughing hysterically in the background and threw them a final glare before stomping into the girls bathroom. She probably would have slammed the door if the damn thing didn't take so long to shut.

After she finished her business in the bathroom, she walked back out into the lobby and froze in her tracks when she saw Tony Abbot walking into Georgia's office with a sly grin on his face. Georgia was wearing one of her fake, forced smiles that very few people could differentiate from her real one as she ushered him through the door.

Jude bit her lip and let her eyes linger at Georgia's closed office door and wondered what they were meeting about and what could possibly have had Georgia looking so uncomfortable.

She was so focused on the door that she didn't hear anybody coming up behind her and jumped when she felt a pair of arms snake around her waist.

"Hey there, Big Eyes. What's wrong?" Tommy asked as he rested his chin on her forehead.

She didn't even hesitate when she answered—it was a little shocking to her how comfortable she felt talking to him like this.

"Tony Abbot just went into Georgia's office. She looked really uncomfortable."

"Really? That's surprising—she loves Tony."

"Well she didn't seem like she was all that chummy with him five seconds ago," Jude refuted.

"Huh. Well, I'll talk to her later." She didn't respond to him; she just kept staring at that door, half-wishing she could hear through it to see what they were talking about. When she didn't say anything back to him, he continued. "We should get back to the studio." He leaned in and she felt him grinning against her ear. "Or is it later yet?"

She smiled and turned around and playfully shoved him out of the way. "Nice try."

He shrugged and tried to pull off an innocent look that she wasn't buying. "You can't blame a guy for trying."

* * *

They were sitting in Tommy's apartment, eating Chinese takeout later that evening after they finished up at work. While she had been successfully distracted and made good on her 'later' promise, she had still wondered at various points throughout the day why somebody from Ace Records would be at G-Major, more specifically, why Tony would be at G-Major.

She glanced at Tommy and noticed that he looked far away and that he was merely playing with his food instead of eating it. When they had first gotten to his place, things had been perfectly fine—they talked about everything and nothing.

Then he got a phone call and seemed to be acting strangely ever since. He'd been quiet after he'd hung up and she felt nerves building up. She didn't like the guarded look that he was wearing.

"Tom? Everything okay?"

"What?"

A soft smile formed on her lips and she tilted her head to the side. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

He shrugged and she grew angry when he placed one of his fake smiles on his face. "Nothing. It's no big deal."

She sighed and pushed her food out of the way. "We agreed, remember? You weren't going to push me away like this again."

He gritted his teeth and glared at her. "And I'm not," he said through clenched teeth. "You're just being paranoid."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Then why have you been so quiet ever since you got that stupid phone call earlier, Tommy?" He didn't say anything and she stood up from the floor gestured towards him in her anger. "See? That. I'm not stupid—you're not good at hiding things when something's bothering you."

"I'm really not in the mood for this," he mumbled.

"And I really don't care! I'm not letting you do this," she said angrily.

"What exactly am I doing, since you seem to be such an expert on me?" he said sarcastically.

"You know what you're doing."

He rolled his eyes and started cleaning up the takeout boxes. "You're right. I know what I'm doing, Jude. You caught me—congratulations!"

"You know something, you could stop being an ass any time now."

"And you can leave anytime now," he said with a light growl. Silence filled the apartment and she didn't know what to say. A pain shot through her chest at his words because she knew he was being completely serious; he wanted her to leave.

She quietly nodded her head and grabbed her purse. She paused a moment before turning the doorknob, waiting to see if he was going to say anything else. Judging by the look on his face, he wasn't.

She cast him one last sidelong glance before heading out the door and shutting it softly behind her.

Normally, she'd be so fired up and angry that she probably would have put a crack in his drywall. But she realized she was probably still in shock of the coldness that was he was showing. She still couldn't quite believe what he had said to her.

She was over halfway to her car when she heard someone calling after her, but she didn't stop; she didn't care. She didn't want to deal with anybody right now. Fan or not.

But the person yelling for her definitely wasn't a fan.

"JUDE!"

She looked up to see Tommy right in front of her, having easily caught up. He was out of breath—he must have taken the stairs in order to have caught up with her so quickly.

He blocked her path to her car and while Jude was staring blankly at his chest as she tried to get around him, she felt the shock starting to wear off and felt herself getting angrier by the minute.

"Get out of my way. You told me to leave and that's what I'm going to do," she said through her teeth.

He grimaced and stopped her once more as she tried to bypass him. She was growing slightly frustrated that he wouldn't let her do the very thing that he had told her to do. He had said to go, so why wasn't he letting her leave?

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it—I don't mean any of it. You're right. I did tell you I wouldn't shut you out like this again. Just… just come back with me and we'll talk."

"Tommy…"

His eyes were pleading. "You promised, remember?"

She shut her eyes as she thought back to that day in the alley when she told him she wouldn't leave.

She could feel her resolve breaking and sighed. He was right; she had promised him.

"Please. Just come back to the apartment—I swear we'll talk. Civilly."

She glanced at him skeptically, unsure of whether or not to believe him. She wasn't crazy about how quickly his personality could change at the drop of a hat. She bit her lip as she was debating and when she looked into his eyes, they were pleading; he was using them as weapons, she realized. And he won.

"Fine."

He offered her a smile of sorts and took her by the hand and led her back inside the complex. They rode the elevator in silence, and when he linked his fingers through hers, she didn't even try shrugging away from him.

Once they got back to his apartment and were inside, he grabbed the strap of her purse and set it back on the chair it had been resting on previously.

They took their old spots on the floor and faced each other. Jude was leaning back on her hands and was crossing her legs by her ankles and Tommy was leaning against the couch with a contemplative gleam in his eye.

"Okay, first, thanks for not tossing me out on my ass after that. I'd deserve nothing less." She didn't say anything; she wasn't about to make this any easier on him. She watched with barely contained amusement as he shifted uncomfortably under her blank, quiet stare. He cleared his throat and looked as though he were trying to persuade himself to actually talk.

"You were right—that phone call I got earlier is what had me all riled up. It was just a ghost from my past, that's all."

"Tom—"

"Jude, it's a part of my life that's being dealt with. It's going to be over soon and I don't want to rehash it. People would just get hurt…"

"See! It's a part of your life—one that I still know very little about. I've been entirely honest with you, Tommy. About everything. Why can't you grant me the same courtesy? Why can't you trust me?"

"I do trust you, Jude. Trust has nothing to do with it. Just please…" he trailed off and grabbed her by the hands. "Please leave it alone. It's all going to be over soon."

"Tommy. I want to believe you, I want to just let this go and slide it under the rug, but I can't. How can I trust you if you're keeping things from me that are causing you to push me away?"

He sighed and let go of her hands and leaned back against the couch and stared up at the ceiling. "I was going to tell you about this a long time ago, but the timing was just never right. And the more invested we got in each other, I got even more scared to tell you." He paused again and shook his head and glanced at her with apologetic eyes. "Please. All I can tell you is that it deals with my old artist back in Montreal from three years ago and it doesn't affect _us_ in anyway at all. I love _you_. _You_ are my future and she's definitely my past." He released a shaky breath. "But I don't know if I can tell you anything else."

She bit her lip and shut her eyes tightly. "I have to go."

"Jude—"

"I'm not going away permanently, okay? I just need to be away from you for a little bit." She got up and headed for the door, but he grabbed her by the arm for the second time that night. "Look, I understand you have a hard time with stuff like this and I believe you when you tell me that you love me. But I'm not okay with secrecy, Tom. Not when I've been completely honest with you."

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "But I'm not willing to risk losing you because of my past. I won't do it."

"I'm sure whatever it is isn't as bad as you're making it out to be." He didn't say anything and Jude sighed. "I'll see you tomorrow," she said as she leaned in to kiss him on the cheek.

"Are we okay?" he said after she had one foot out the door.

"I think," she offered quietly.

She turned to walk away when he stopped her once more. "Jude?"

"Yeah?"

"I do love you—more than anyone."

She smiled sadly and nodded. "I know. I love you, too. Bye Tom."

Jude made it out to the car and let out a frustrated scream. She did love her boyfriend and she supposed that was why she was putting up with his stubbornness about this secret. He had said it didn't affect them, so she shouldn't be worried, right?

Right…

* * *

The next day at the studio was a bit of a blur.

The deadline on her album was approaching and everybody was feeling the pressure.

Georgia was unusually grouchy and EJ was scarier than normal. Kwest and Tommy were pairing up to help mix the tracks—she was even throwing in a helping hand every now and then.

It was around lunchtime when she was in hospitality getting food for her and Tommy when she saw Darius Mills walk through the front doors of G-Major. He was wearing his thousand-watt, millionaire smile and looking cheerful as ever.

"Jude! How's my favorite artist doing? I hear your album's almost finished."

"Darius," she said with a nod. "You heard right. I have a few more songs I need to record, but that shouldn't take very long." She set the sandwiches she was making back down on the counter and turned her full attention to him. "I don't mean to be rude, but what are you doing here?"

He chuckled and put an arm around her. "You know, that's what I've always liked about you. You get straight to the point. Anyway, I'm here to see your boyfriend."

"What do you want with Tommy?" she asked, feeling somewhat shocked.

"Just a little business to discuss, that's all. Do you know where he is?"

She reluctantly nodded and gestured towards the studio. "Studio A."

"Thanks," he said and gave her a pat on the back. "I just need to borrow him for a few minutes. No worries."

"Yeah," she said under her breath.

She sighed and resumed her sandwich making. Kwest had taught her how to make one of his sumo-size subs and she was trying—and failing—to get all the ingredients packed into the sub.

She had let out a frustrated groan and kicked at the counter when Sadie started walking over to her, laughing at her. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to make a sandwich," she muttered.

"Attempting one of my boyfriend's sumo-subs?"

"Yeah and I'm currently getting my ass kicked by a pitiful piece of bread."

Sadie nodded and smiled. "He tried teaching me, but I just couldn't get it. Of course, I might have had a better shot at it if he wouldn't have been laughing at me the entire time, but after that I just kind of gave up. I tend to leave the sandwich making to him."

Jude mirrored her sister's smiled and turned her attention away from the food and gazed over towards studio A. From the side, she could tell Darius was still smiling, but Tommy wasn't. She really wanted to know what was going on in there.

"Why is Darius here?" Sadie asked curiously.

"Did your eyes quit working?" she said as she nodded towards the studio. "He wanted to see Tom," she said grouchily and somewhat bitchily.

"Wow. Cranky much? Sorry for breathing the wrong way."

"Sorry," she mumbled. "I just don't like being in the dark…"

Jude shifted uncomfortably as Sadie scrutinized her before nodding. "Sounds like we need a good old-fashioned girls' night."

"No, that's okay—"

"Pizza sound good?"

"Sadie—"

"Oooh, maybe we could order from Luigi's. I'll see what time they stop delivering. And don't try to get out of this. We haven't hung out in ages."

Jude smiled and agreed. "Fine. Sounds good."

"Good. I would stay and chat, but I have a bunch of paperwork I need to file. Sooo, I'll see you tonight at the house."

"Yep."

After Sadie left, Jude started walking towards the bathroom and didn't even see the person she ran into. All she knew was there was hot liquid all over the place after the collision.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry. I'm such a klutz," Jude said apologetically as she scrambled back to hospitality to get some napkins to give to the stranger.

The brunette looked at her and smiled. "It's okay, no worries. I didn't like this shirt that much anyway."

Jude studied her and noted that she was pretty, but in a plain sort of way. Her brown hair was shoulder length with subtle layers and her eyes were kind and gentle. Despite the warmth radiating out from this girl, there was something about her that made Jude slightly uncomfortable. Perhaps Jude was just being self-conscious; the girl seemed flawless and confident—something Jude definitely wasn't.

"Sorry, about the coffee spill. I can pay for dry-cleaning."

"Don't worry about it. It's seriously fine. But maybe you can help me with something?"

"Sure—I can try. What'd you need?"

"I'm looking for Tom Quincy. Do you know where he is?"

"Yeah," Jude said warily. "He's in a meeting right now with Darius Mills."

"Ah. Darius. Quite the character. I'll have to say hi before he leaves."

"Well Darius is certainly a character. He likes to make people sweat," Jude said with a smirk.

"Isn't that the truth?" the girl said with an even wider grin.

A silence passed and curiosity was getting the better of Jude. "So how do you know Tom?" she inquired nervously.

"Well I used to be an artist of his, but I guess technically, you could call me his wife."


	25. Chapter 24

Hello there!

Just wanted to say sorry for falling behind on posting. See, I had a plan. I was going to get you guys all caught up once I started my winter break and then my computer decided to flip out on me, so now my hard-drive that has my story on it is in the computer hospital and I have to go back and copy my material from the other site that this is posted on and it's just a hot mess. Lol. But yeah, I'm so disappointed that my computer is on the fritz right now because I had some creative mo-jo goin' on and it's just all crappy. Oh well. Hopefully, I'll still have it at the beginning of the week. That's the estimated fixing time for my puter. So fingers crossed!

Anyway...

These next few chapters are going to be a whirlwind of drama. But I promise I can only do Tommy/Jude endings. I think those two characters were meant for each other and I can't have it any other way. It's just not in me to write her off with anybody else--not even with her music. Lol. So I know that it's going to be a teensy frustrating, but their relationship will be figured out soon. I promise!

So after a long awaited update, here's the newest chapter of There And Back Again and I hope you all enjoy it. Please review and let me know what you think! I love reading all of them :)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Instant Star.... obviously.

* * *

**Chapter 24**

Jude felt all the color drain from her face.

Wife.

Had this girl really just said 'wife'? Was her boyfriend of almost a month _married_? Was this the secret he'd been so adamant to not tell her about?

"Are you okay, miss?"

Jude stared and blinked a few times before realizing she should probably answer this woman. "Wife?" her voice cracked and was shaky; she didn't think she could manage to form any other words.

"Well, on paper, we're still married. It's a minor technicality. But for all intents and purposes, we're no longer together… I'm sorry, you look really familiar, what's your name?"

"Jude," she breathed quietly. "Jude Harrison."

The girl's eyes widened and now _her_ face paled. "Oh no. _You're_ Jude? You're Tom's Jude?"

"Angie?" a booming voice said over the chaotic lobby. Jude turned around to see Tommy looking angrier than she'd ever seen him. He quickly strode over to them and glared at his wife. "What the hell are you doing here? I thought we agreed that you weren't going to come to G-Major and that we were going to finish this through our lawyers?"

This Angie girl looked like she was near tears. She really did look sorry. "Tom, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize—"

"Save it. I need to speak with Jude. Privately."

Angie nodded and quietly walked away, no longer looking like the confident girl Jude had met just mere minutes ago.

"You didn't have to be so rude to the girl, Tommy," Jude said numbly. Inwardly she cringed as she heard how dead her voice sounded—it was almost unrecognizable. "I'm sorry, let me correct myself. You didn't have to be so rude to your _wife_," she said bitterly.

Tommy winced and tried reaching out to her, but she quickly evaded his touch and hugged herself tightly, trying to deal with this revelation as maturely as her broken heart could handle.

"Jude, let me explain…"

She stared blankly at him, waiting for him to try and spit out some pathetic attempt at an explanation.

But as she waited, she realized that Tommy was obviously having trouble coming up with an acceptable excuse. They were standing in silence, the hustle and bustle of the lobby forgotten, faded out.

"You said you wanted to explain and now you're not going to say anything?" she said dully.

He sighed and ran a hand through his perfectly styled hair. "It's like I told you last night at the apartment. So many times I wanted to tell you, but I just could never bring myself to do it. Not when I didn't feel like I was married. I've not seen her for over two years, Jude. Please—tell me how that constitutes a marriage?" She didn't say anything, but just stood there, her face void of any and all emotions that she was positive were raging somewhere inside of her; she just couldn't feel any of it at the moment. "I wasn't going to risk losing you because of Angie—not when it took us so long to get together in the first place. I didn't tell you because she wasn't important to me, not anymore. I was afraid and I'm sorry."

She still didn't say anything; she really didn't know what to say. She could understand his way of thinking, though, and she could even understand him wanting to protect their relationship and she was grateful that he cared so much, so fiercely about it. And if she were honest with herself, she might have actually done the same thing if the situation had been reversed.

As that thought crossed her mind, Jude blinked in surprise at herself. She didn't understand why she was being so rational about this, so levelheaded. She was never this way—she usually blamed everybody and everything around her first and asked questions later.

And the fact that she was being so calm about Tommy having a wife that he had neglected to tell her about scared her a little bit.

She willed herself to look into his eyes and when she finally found the strength to do that, she saw regret, sadness, worry, panic… fear. She knew he was sorry and she could tell that he was dealing with his own pain right now, but that didn't change anything—it didn't change the fact that he had lied to her. It didn't change that she had become what she had vowed to never become. She had made that promise to herself when she was sixteen and now, even though Tommy said he hadn't seen Angie in years, he was still a married man, which, therefore, compromised the values she had placed in herself.

"Are you going to say anything?"

"What do you want me to say, Tommy?"

"Something. Anything. Yell, scream, get angry—hit me. Do _something_. Anything would be better than this."

"You don't want that. Trust me."

"I do want it. Because any emotion at all would give me hope that in time, we'll be okay."

"I can't…" she trailed off and tightly shut her eyes, trying to feel again. She wanted to feel the emotion. It was scaring her that she was this deadpan about everything at the moment. This wasn't like her.

"I can't even look at you right now. You lied to me. And it's not even like you lied about something as stupid as saying you're working but you're really going out with friends to drink or something ridiculous like that. This is different."

"I know," he said quietly. "But I did what I thought was best in the long run…"

"No. You did what you thought was best for _you_."

"That's not true—I did what I thought was best for _both_ of us. I didn't want to tell you because I knew things would change between us. We were finally at a good place—a great place—and I didn't want to ruin it."

She shook her head sadly. "You still should have told me, Tommy."

He let out a bitter chuckle and folded his arms angrily. "And you would have listened? You wouldn't have become your usual stubborn and pigheaded self and you actually would have given me a chance to explain had I told you the truth about Angie?" She stayed completely quiet; she knew he had her there. Honestly, she didn't even know why she was listening to him now. It was completely against her nature. "See… I know you. I knew we would have been over before we even got started and I didn't want to risk that. Can you please try to understand that?"

"That's the thing. I do understand that and had the situations been reversed, I might have done the same thing." She saw relief flood his features, and she knew she had to finish quickly or she might give him false hope. "But that doesn't change anything, Tommy. We're finished," she said, barely above a whisper.

"Jude, no, please listen—"

"No, _you_ listen. I did my listening, now it's your turn." He wisely kept his mouth shut after that simply nodded, waiting for her to continue.

She took a deep breath and readied herself. She was going to get through her explanation. "Look, I can't expect for you to understand why I'm ending us over this. So I'll try my best to explain it to you so that you can see why I would have much rather had you tell me than keep this to yourself.

"When I was sixteen, I made a promise to myself to never cheat on anybody. Not after what Shay had done to me—that hurt a lot. It screwed with my head for a while. And then, to make matters worse, not long after I found out about Shay, I found my dad screwing his travel agent on our living room couch," she said bitterly, not even noticing Tommy grimace at her confession.

"I've already broken the promise that I would never cheat when I kissed you while I was still with Jamie. And now, to put the icing on the cake, you made me become the one thing I swore I'd never be—not ever."

"I don't understand…"

Tears pooled in her eyes and she didn't bother blinking them back. Those feelings she had wished for minutes ago were slowly starting to push their way through her barriers she had put up.

"I've become the other woman, Tommy," she choked out.

She saw his outstretched hand and once again, evaded his touch. "Jude, no. What I have—had with Angie is over. It has been for a long time. You had nothing to do with it," he said, obviously trying to sooth her.

"Legally, you're still married, though. You pointing out that you've not seen or heard from her in years doesn't change anything. I still had a relationship with a married man."

Silence passed once more between them. She could see that he was trying to hold back tears and it nearly killed her.

"Just tell me what to do. Tell me what to do so I can fix this," he pleaded.

"I don't know if you can," she said sadly. "Just give me time."

"Jude—"

"I have to go," she added quickly.

She turned on her heal and hurriedly headed out the doors of G-Major, ignoring the perplexed looks that passersby were giving her as she ignored the shouts of her name.

Once she made it to the safety of the outdoors and arrived to her mustang, she broke down, feeling all of the emotions she had suppressed back inside. She was bent over, clutching her stomach, trying to breathe.

As she took in the blurry ground below her, she suddenly wished that she could become numb again. What had she been thinking? Why had she wanted all of this pain she was feeling?

If she had been paying attention, she would have heard heels clicking on the concrete and she would have smelled the perfume permeating the air. But she wasn't paying attention, so she was startled when she heard her name being called.

"Jude?"

She looked up reluctantly and through teary eyes, she saw Karma standing there with concern all over her face.

"Please don't mistake my prying for genuine concern, but what's wrong with you?"

Jude tried desperately to pull herself together—she sure as hell didn't want Karma seeing her fall to pieces.

"Nothing," she lied.

"And that's why you're out here, hunched over like you're barfing?"

Jude glared at the R&B diva and frowned. "It's nothing that concerns you. Like I'd talk to you about this anyway."

"Like it or not, in case you haven't looked around and noticed, I'm all you've got right now," she pointed out.

Sighing, she sunk to the ground and let her head rest against the car, not even noticing that quite possibly one of the most shallow girls on the planet followed her to the ground and placed a supporting arm around her shoulder, forgetting about the dirt that could possibly get on her jeans.

She cried as Karma whispered words of comfort in her ear and leaned into the other girl for some feeling of comfort.

This must be what rock bottom felt like...

* * *

  
An hour later after trying relentlessly to get a hold of Jude, Tommy sat as his desk with his head in his hands. He really screwed things up this time. And he had no one to blame but himself. He'd had plenty of opportunities to tell Jude the truth, but every time, he had backed out. Stupid.

Of course, he hadn't expected _her_ to show up at the label, unannounced.

When she had called last night, oh when she had called, it had definitely come as a shock. About a week ago, he had finally gotten a lead on her and the PI had told him that they were closer to finding her than they had ever been and that he would be closing in on her location soon. But it turned out that he really didn't have to bother with hiring that PI that Darius had suggested because in the end, Angie had contacted him all on her own.

He'd asked how she'd gotten his new number and she'd told him that she still had mutual contacts; she refused to say who it was, though.

He'd then demanded to know what she wanted and she'd replied, "To give you what you want. Your divorce."

The news had come as a shock to him. He'd been wanting to get out from this disastrous marriage for years and now it was finally staring him in the face. She had just dangled the one thing he wanted the most right in front of him.

It had been a very heated discussion and it had left him feeling irritated and annoyed. They hadn't seen or talked to each other in years and one phone call later, it felt like they were still married. Well, technically, they _were _still married, but that was just according to a piece of paper.

As much as he had wanted to grill her as to why she had up and vanished and just left him hanging, he had known that they couldn't have that conversation with Jude in the next room. Not when his emotions would have likely gotten the better of him. Angie had wanted to keep the conversation going, but when he'd explained that his girlfriend was in the other room, she had quickly agreed that they shouldn't continue the phone call.

Instead, they had agreed that they wouldn't meet unless it was through their lawyers. They both wanted it all to be over now, so she wasn't putting up a fight, which he was thankful for.

He rubbed his face tiredly, dejectedly and sunk back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling. Everything was such a fucking mess right now.

"Tom?" a sweet, honey, smooth voice said. Reluctantly, he looked up to see a very apologetic Angie, looking like she would get down on her knees and beg forgiveness if that's what it took.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair; it was habit of his—he always did that when he was nervous or on edge. "I'm not mad at you, Ang," he said quietly. He knew that was what she wanted; reassurance. Even when they had gotten into the very few fights they'd had when they had first been married and she had been positive she was right, she had still always gotten insecure; she couldn't stand it when people were mad at her. She loved making people happy.

"You're not?" she asked, sounding like a little kid who was nervous that they were in trouble.

He offered a very weak, half smile and shook his head. And it was true—he wasn't mad at her. Despite his determination to keep all of that anger he'd developed over the years and take it out on her, he just couldn't seem to do it. Not to Angie. He supposed he would always have a soft spot for her; it was practically impossible to stay angry with her. And if he hadn't believed it over the last two, three years, he definitely did now. His anger had broken almost as soon as he saw how upset she was when he'd walked into his office.

"No. It's not your fault. It's mine. I screwed up…"

Her eyebrows rose and she gave him an incredulous stare. "Who are you and what have you done with the real Tom Quincy?"

He was surprised that even though he was in a sour mood, he managed a chuckle and threw a genuine grin at her. She seemed to always have this affect on him and he hated that she could still make him feel more at ease with himself. "This is the real me, Ang. I promise. Scary, isn't it?"

"Huh. Well… who'd have thunk it? Lil' Tommy Q's all grown up," she said with a smirk. "I believe that's what some people would call an anomaly."

"I know, right? If you'd asked me nearly a year ago if I thought I'd change this much, I'd have laughed right in your face. At the time, I was just… being an asshole to everybody was easier, I guess."

She nodded in understanding and looked down at the ground, which was odd, because he'd never known Angie to ever once do that. "I'm sorry, Tom. I didn't mean to blow the whistle on you."

"I already told you—I'm not mad at you Angie."

"But I'm the reason that Jude left y—here."

"You can say it. She didn't just leave here… she left me."

It was a reality he was slowly starting to deal with. He didn't like it, but he had been expecting it, so he supposed that softened the blow somehow. "And you're not the reason she left. I am. I messed it up, just like I always do."

"Yeah, but I didn't help anything by coming to the label. I should have just stayed away like we had agreed to last night."

"It's seriously fine. It's not your fault. I would have done something to screw everything up eventually, anyway."

He looked at Angie warily as she walked around his desk with a scolding glare in her eyes. It shouldn't have been all that surprising to him when he felt her hand connecting with the back of his head. "Ow! What the hell was that for?" he asked as he rubbed the spot she had just hit.

Her scowl deepened and she punched him in the shoulder. "Jesus, would you stop hitting me, woman? What did I do now?" He wasn't sure which spot to rub now—they both hurt like a bitch. Angie had always been one to hit pretty hard.

"Stop wallowing in your over-played self-loathing routine, okay? It's getting old."

"Angie—"

She cut him off and started mocking him. "Oh, look at me, I'm Tom and I always screw everything up and blah, blah, blah." She returned to her normal, annoying self and rolled her eyes. "Please. Get a new line because that one is seriously overused."

"Thanks for all the support, Ang," he said with a frown. "I can always count on you to kick me while I'm down."

"Oh get over it. You're just pissed because I'm one of the very few people in this world that call you on your shit." She sighed and sat down in one of his spare chairs and her gaze finally turned sympathetic. "Look, you're always bitching about how you always screw everything up in the end and quite honestly, I'm tired of hearing it."

"Well if you're tired of hearing it, then I'm definitely tired of it happening all the time!" he said angrily.

"So do something about it, then! Quit wallowing in your pathetic self-pity and get off your ass and change it."

"And please, tell me how I'm supposed to do that because I'm open to suggestions! She would barely look at me before she left G-Major and now she's not answering my phone calls. I'm kind of running out of options here."

Angie quirked an eyebrow and folded her arms. "And that's going to stop you? Since when have you ever given up on anything?"

"I didn't say I was giving up, okay? It's just… I know Jude and she needs her space right now."

The brunette shook her head stubbornly and lifted her chin ever so slightly. "That is the last thing you need to give her. If you give her space, she's just going to drift further away and you know it."

"Ang, you don't understand. This… it crushed her. More than I ever thought it could have. She doesn't want to be around me right now."

Her eyes turned sympathetic and she nodded. "I know you keep saying it's not my fault, but I am sorry. I wish I could help make this right. Hell, the whole reason I came here was because I saw a picture of you and Jude in some photo spread. You looked so happy. Happier than you ever were with me," she finished with a small, sad smile.

And that gave him the perfect opportunity to ask the one question that had been bugging him since she called him last night. He was surprised that he'd actually found himself wanting to avoid this conversation, but he had to know. He couldn't put it off any longer; he was afraid she might slip into the shadows again.

"Why, Angie?"

He didn't have to elaborate. He could tell by her skin paling that she understood the question just fine.

She bit her lip and he forced himself to keep his gaze firm when tears pooled in her eyes. One large droplet of water fell down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away, sniffling in the process.

"Sorry," she mumbled as she began searching for her handkerchief that she undoubtedly still carried. In all the time that he'd known her, she'd never gone anywhere without one.

He kept his firm posture and waited for her to get herself together to explain a conversation that was long overdue.

"I really don't know where to begin," she replied honestly.

"How 'bout the part where you decided to leave without a word?" he said bitterly. And he could tell it was starting. That anger that had dissipated almost instantly at the sight of Angie's wide, apologetic eyes, was slowly starting to return.

"Well," she started as she shifted uncomfortably in the overly cushy chair, "I had actually been thinking about leaving for a while. Probably about," she scrunched her face and crinkled her nose, doing apparent calculations in her head. "Oh, I don't know, two weeks prior to the night I left?"

"Two weeks?!" he asked, alarmed. How could he have been so oblivious to have not seen the signs at all? "Why?"

She sighed and lifted her chin, almost defiantly. "Because you were pulling away, almost to the point where you were practically begging for me to leave. Do you not remember those last few weeks we had together? No? Well I do. You would come home, smelling like a brewery and that was if I was lucky. Sometimes you didn't bother coming home at all until the next morning."

He looked away in shame. That sounded about right. "I'm sorry Ang. You didn't deserve that," he said quietly.

"Just let me finish," she said as she put her hand up to stop him. "You definitely don't deserve the blame for this…"

She trailed off, leaving him feeling more confused than ever. From the sounds of it, this was entirely his fault.

"I never wanted you to find out like this," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "In fact, I never wanted you to find out at all. But you deserve to know." She cleared her throat and held his gaze with determination. "I don't know if you remember or not, but before you started your weekly drinking binges, we had started having talks."

He nodded and tried to suppress the memories. Those were often not very happy conversations. "I remember. What about them?"

Her eyes faltered and her face soon became consumed with guilt. "Well, when we had started talking about kids, you made your feelings on the subject very clear…"

Dread filled the pit of his stomach. He didn't like where she was going with this. "Angie… what did you do?"

"Tommy, I was pregnant."


	26. Chapter 25

Oh my gosh, I suck.

I am so sorry about not updating this. I had put this story on the back-burner for a little bit, because I was hoping a break would help me feel more inspired. Good news is that I have the document opened up in front of me and that is what caused me to check . So I'll be honest--I completely forgot. Uhm... whoops?

Okay, so info on the upcoming chapters. Some of you may not like Jude very much. _I _didn't like Jude very much. But I think what you are going to see is a necessary, if not a pivitol, part of her character growth. So please, please, just be patient with her (and me--please? Lol). I promise things will calm down after a few more chapters.

Anyway, here's the next chapter. I hope there's still people reading and that you all enjoy it. Please review and give me your feedback!

* * *

**Chapter 25**

Tommy stared blankly, not blinking, not moving. He wasn't sure how long he sat there like that, but it must have been a good while.

"Tommy?"

He knew that Angie was calling his name, but it didn't really register. Nothing did. He could only focus on one thing—if you could call what he was doing focusing.

_Pregnant._

_Baby._

_Father._

"Tom?"

Again, the prodding went ignored. He wasn't quite sure how to process this new information and his brain was on overdrive right now.

He opened his mouth to try and form some kind of words, but nothing came out. Instead, he was pretty sure he resembled something quite similar to the fish species as his lips continued to open and close.

"I… you… pregnant?" he managed to get out.

She smirked in amusement at his reaction, but he barely noticed. "Well, I must say, you're reacting far better than I did to the news."

He stared in surprise. "Really? You reacted worse than this?"

"Yeah. There was lots of barfing involved," she said light-heartedly.

Despite himself, Tommy chuckled at her obvious attempt to lighten the mood. But as he snickered at Angie's comment, things were slowly starting to register; the shock was beginning to wear off and his brain began functioning coherently again as he finally fully realized what she had just said. This was nothing to be laughing about.

He was a father. A father. He had a son or daughter out there somewhere and had no idea what his child even looked liked because Angie had kept it from him all this time.

And he was pissed.

Suddenly, all signs of laughter were gone from his face and he glared at his darling wife. She shrunk back in her chair, looking slightly scared and the tension in the room returned, ten-fold.

"Tommy, please…"

"Please what, Angie? Don't get mad that you kept something like this from me?" he growled.

"What was I supposed to do Tommy?" she shouted. "You were hardly capable of handling something like this back then and you'd make your feelings perfectly clear! You wanted _nothing_ to do with children, as you had so kindly emphasized many times."

"So you take off for over two fucking years?! And you call _me_ the immature one?!"

"Don't you dare, Tommy. Not you. You have no right to judge me. Not after all the shit you've pulled in the past," she declared angrily.

"That's different! My screw-ups don't even _compare_ to this, Angie! You kept my kid from me!"

"You seriously would have cared?" she asked indignantly.

"Yes!" Angie's eyes narrowed and she threw him a disbelieving look that made him squirm just the tiniest bit. "Yes, I would have! I can't believe this," he muttered under his breath.

This was still just all sinking in for him. He still couldn't quite believe that he could have a son out there. Or daughter. There were so many thoughts raging in his head that he was having a hard time focusing on anything other than this newest piece of information.

And then, as he was sitting there, trying to wrap his head around the fact that he was a father to some child out there, his mind zeroed in on what Angie had first said…

_"Tommy, I was pregnant."_

Was pregnant. His stomach started churning and he hoped to hell that she had just been using 'was' as a generic past tense verb.

"When you say was…?"

She gave him a reassuring smile and shook her head no. "I didn't get an abortion, Tommy. I would never do that. I was merely saying that I _was_ pregnant, as in, no longer am because I already had the baby."

Relief flooded through every cell and he nodded. "So was it a boy or a girl?" he asked. He was still angry as hell, but he had questions that he wanted answers to. He was having a hard time not throttling Angie, but he tried desperately to keep his emotions in check.

"Boy."

He grinned genuinely and could feel his smile growing wider and wider as he realized that he had a son. There were so many conflicting emotions swimming through him right now, but the fact that he was the father of a little boy was trumping anything right now.

"Well… what did you name him? Do you have any pictures? Can I see him? Where is—?"

"Tommy slow down. Breathe. One question at a time, okay?"

He nodded and decided to put his initial first question second on the list. He really wanted to see what his kid looked like. "Do you have a picture?"

She nodded and showed him a photograph and newly born baby and Tommy's heart practically stopped. He was beautiful. A lump in his throat formed as he took in the face of his son. He did that. He helped create the beautiful baby in this photo.

A single tear escaped his eye and he smiled. "We did this?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "He's amazing, isn't he?"

"He's beautiful," Tommy agreed. "What's his name?"

His question was met with silence and he forced his gaze away from the photo to see Angie looking guiltier than ever. "Ang? What's his name?" he asked again.

"I don't know," she said almost inaudibly.

Tommy blinked in surprise. That made no sense. How could a mother not know her own child's name?

"What do you mean?" he asked skeptically. "How could you not know? He's _your_ son," he said anxiously.

"I know—I mean I only know what _I_ named him, Tom. I don't know…" she looked away and tears filled her eyes again and she began openly sobbing at this point. "I don't know if they kept his name or not," she finally choked out through her tears.

"They? Who are 'they' Angie?"

She didn't say anything at all; the only sounds filling the room were her trying to gulp for breath and Tommy's heavy, angry breathing. She was shaking her head back and forth in her hands.

"I'm s-s-so so-so-sorry," she wept.

"What the hell did you do?!" he yelled.

She moved her arms down to her waist and tightly hugged herself as she tried to pull herself together and he was growing impatient. He wanted to know where his son was.

"Where is he?!"

"I don't know," she said after she calmed down. "The last I heard, he was in Phoenix, Arizona with a loving couple named Chris and Susan Cook."

Once again, complete and utter silence filled his office.

Shock filtered through him at the news. Shock and betrayal. Anger.

He clenched his jaw and glared at Angie. "Get out of my office," he said quietly.

She looked scared, but didn't move. "Tom—"

"GO!"

Angie jumped at the ferociousness in his voice and her eyes widen in freight. He thought she was going to try and protest again, but she didn't. Instead, she nodded her head, grabbed her purse, and left without a word.

Tommy leaned back in his chair after his door shut softly behind her.

It was funny. For the longest time, he'd wanted nothing but to find her, to find out why she left—hell, maybe even try and fix things, at least before he started working with Jude again—and try to get his life back together again. But now that he found her, he wished to hell she would have stayed away.

Seeing her again ruined everything. It didn't fix a damn thing.

Instead of his problems magically going away like he'd hoped they would, he just found out that he had a little boy who was God knows where and to put the icing on the cake, his girlfriend, the love of his life, left him.

Jude.

He had to see her. He had to try and find her to fix this and make things right.

And he needed her—now more than ever.

So he quickly grabbed his keys and jacket and made a beeline for his car, scrambling to try and find the one person that would be able to help him deal.

He didn't care what he had to do; he wouldn't leave until he got her to listen and forgive him—or at least _think_ about forgiving him.

He wished he would have told her the truth while he had the chance, but he hadn't. In true Quincy fashion, he had thought that Angie returning wouldn't change anything, especially if Angie kept her presence a secret. He had thought that they would go through with the divorce proceedings and everything would be fine. In his mind, he had believed that Jude didn't need to know about it because it didn't change anything between them. Just because his ex was coming back into town didn't change how he felt about Jude. So he had stupidly kept his mouth shut, thinking once Angie was gone, things would go back to the way they were.

But he hadn't counted on Angie showing up to G-Major and blurting out that she was his wife.

And he sure as hell hadn't counted on finding out that he was a father.

His mind was a muddled mess right now. He didn't know what to do. He didn't even know where he was driving, not really anyway. His body was on autopilot or something and just seemed to know where to go because the next thing he knew, he was at the Harrison residence.

He quickly got out of his Viper and ran up the stairs to their door and banged loudly. "Jude? Jude, come on. Open the door!"

He pounded even louder and rang the doorbell several times before somebody finally answered.

"Sadie?"

If his mind had been working properly, he would have realized that Sadie should have been at work right now. But it wasn't working properly. Hell, it was hardly working at all at the moment.

She folded her arms and scowled at him. "Do you want to keep it down? There _is_ a noise ordinance in this neighborhood, you know?" She looked at him and her eyes suddenly widened. "What the hell is wrong with you? You look like hell," she stated bluntly.

He snorted and nodded in agreement. "Where's Jude? I need to see her."

Sadie looked hesitant as she pulled her sweater together. "Tommy, now's not a good time."

"Please. I know she's angry with me and hurt, but I just… I," he paused and felt tears spring to his eyes and didn't bother blinking them back, which was strange because he never cried. Ever. "I don't know what to do, Sadie."

Her eyes softened and she ushered him into the house. He looked up and saw Kwest there, too.

"Tom? What's going on? What's wrong?" Kwest asked hurriedly. His best friend was in a panic as he rushed over to Tommy. "Tom?"

He shook his head stubbornly. He didn't want to tell anyone else about this before Jude knew. "Where is she? I need her."

Kwest had the same hesitant look in his eyes as Sadie had moments earlier and it was starting to annoy him. "Well? Is she in her room?"

"Not exactly," Sadie said. "She's not here, Tom."

"What? Then where can I find her? Please—I'm going out of my mind here. Everything's just such a mess right now. I don't know what else to do," he said brokenly.

"I don't know where she is. Neither does Kwest," Sadie admitted.

"What?"

"She's gone. Karma called my cell and told me that she took her to the airport and so I rushed here with Kwest to find this note on the kitchen counter," she said as she held out a piece of paper.

With shaky hands, he unfolded the paper and saw Jude's messy scrawl.

_Sadie,_

_Sorry to just take off like this, but I had to get away. All you need to know is that where I'm going, I'll be safe. I'll call you as soon as I land. Please don't worry._

_Love you lots._

_- Jude_

_P.S.- Please don't try and find me. I'll be back when I'm ready. _

After he finished reading the letter, Tommy walked over to the stairs and sat down on the third step and placed his hands on the back of his head. Any hope that he had been holding on to had now vanished entirely.

He lost her.

He lost her when he needed her most. He didn't know how he was supposed to get through finding out that he had a son without her.

He took a deep breath and completely lost it. He put his elbows on his knees and hung his head in his hands, openly crying without even caring that his best friend and undoubtedly his best friend's future wife were watching.

The next thing he knew he felt a comforting arm being placed around his shoulder. "It's going to be okay," Sadie whispered. "It's all gonna be fine. She'll be back," she said. But he didn't fail to notice that she sounded more like she was trying to convince herself than him.

* * *

_Six hours later…_

"Welcome to LAX ladies and gentlemen. It's currently seventy-five degrees and sunny outside. We ask that you please remain seated until the captain has turned off the fasten seatbelt sign and we hope you enjoy your stay."

Jude smiled for the first time since she left Toronto. In less than an hour she'd be with Johnny, the only person in her life that had never, ever let her down.

She didn't mean to take off like that, but she just couldn't deal. And, she also knew she was going to be in deep shit with Georgia, especially since her album deadline was approaching rapidly. But she had a plan.

She'd record the songs that still needed the vocals while she was in LA with Johnny and then send off the finished product to Georgia. She was still meeting her contractual obligations, so really, the only thing she had to worry about was her boss reaming her out for leaving without any notice.

And of course, there was her sister that she had to worry about. She'd almost forgotten about ditching Sadie. She knew her sister would worry, even though she had specifically mentioned in her letter to _not_ worry.

And while she felt guilty for leaving Sadie high and dry, she also decided that it was time to do something for herself. Lately, she'd had so many responsibilities and obligations that she never had the opportunity to do anything like this.

Unfortunately, it wasn't exactly like she was leaving due to great circumstances, though.

She was running away.

Being back in Toronto right now just wasn't an option for her. It was simply out of the question. She knew if she were around him long enough that she would cave. Hell, she nearly caved before she left.

But it was still too raw to even think about forgiving him. She just needed to be a way from him for a little bit. It hurt just thinking about him. She couldn't imagine how much worse it would be if she were in the same vicinity as Tommy.

She shook her head and tried disbanding thoughts of him from her mind, but it was a futile attempt.

Images of Angie showing up at G-Major looking flawless and beautiful haunted her mind, made her doubt everything.

She couldn't understand why Tommy had wanted her at all when he'd had been married to Angie, who, from what Jude could tell, was everything she wasn't.

It wasn't fair. Everything had been going just fine and then she showed up, ruining everything. She wished she would have never found out about Angie, despite what she had adamantly told Tommy about wanting the truth from him. Knowing about Angie only complicated things—she wished she could have remained blissfully ignorant about Angie's role in her boyfriend's—_ex-_boyfriend's—life.

If she hadn't known, she'd be with Tommy right now, in his arms, feeling safe, secure… home.

Now she just felt lost, like everything she thought had been true was a lie. She didn't know what to do with this information and was feeling a little helpless at the moment.

Which was why she was going to see Johnny.

She knew she would be able to count on him. She always could. He was always there for her through everything.

So when she was on his doorstep a half hour later, she didn't bother putting on a brave face for him, or trying to hold anything back. Tears swelled in her eyes as soon as he opened the door and alarm filled his features.

"What is it? What's wrong?" he asked hurriedly.

"Pleased don't tell me I told you so," she whispered, his early warning about Tommy playing on repeat in her head.

His gaze softened and he nodded. "Come on in," he said as he ushered her in his apartment and shut the door behind him.

He picked up her few bags that she had brought with her and showed her into the very spacious living room. Her eyes widened in surprise at his new place—it was a lot nicer than his apartment back in Toronto.

His carpet was a plush, snow white material, which still looked brand new, unsurprisingly, and he had a fireplace on the far left wall, equipped with a black marble mantel, which was adorned with familiar pictures that she had seen many times already. Most of the pictures were of them together.

Then, smack in the center of his living room was his plasma TV hanging on the wall, along with all of his gaming systems resting on the floor. She couldn't help but roll her eyes at that—some things never changed, obviously.

His kitchen was actually a lot bigger than his old one, too. It still had his favorite black and white tiling on the floor completed with black granite countertops, but it was noticeably bigger. In fact, as far as she could tell, _everything _here was bigger and nicer.

"Wow, Johnny. Why didn't you tell me you were staying in a place so swanky?"

He rolled his eyes as he walked into his kitchen that was directly adjacent from the living room. "Like you would have cared," he said smartly. When he came back into the living room, he was carrying two bottled waters and after he passed one bottle over to her, he began unscrewing the lid to his own drink. "You wouldn't have been interested. You like to see things for yourself," he said with a smirk.

"You know me too well," she mumbled.

"I should hope." They now sat on the black leather couch, facing each other. Jude wasn't really particularly looking at him, but she could feel his eyes on her, probably searching for something. "So are you ready to talk about it?"

She shook her head roughly. "No," she said with finality.

"Okay. But we will talk about this, right?" He said it like he was asking a question, but she knew better. He was pretty much saying that they _would_ talk about it, whether she wanted to or not.

She bit her lip and nodded reluctantly. "Yeah," she said softly.

He smiled sympathetically and patted her on the thigh before getting up and exiting the living room. She had no idea where he was going, nor did she really care. She knew he'd back soon and it wasn't really her job to keep tabs on him.

So while he was gone, she grabbed her phone out of her purse and finally turned it back on. She rolled her eyes when she saw that she had numerous missed calls from Sadie and then simultaneously tried to squish the pain resurfacing in her chest when she saw all of the phone calls from Tommy.

She ignored those and didn't bother listening to any of the voice mails. She just dialed Sadie's number straight away, feeling a little guilty that it took her so long to remember to call her.

Jude had to hold back a fit of laughter when Sadie picked up on the first ring. "Where the hell are you, Jude?"

"Hello to you, too," she said dully.

"Do you have any idea how worried Kwest and I have been about you?"

Uh oh. This was the part when Sadie usually started lecturing relentlessly. "Sorry, Sades."

"Don't 'sorry' me, Jude. What were you thinking? Did you know that I had to find out from Karma of all people that you were gone?"

Jude let out an exasperated sigh and her arm flailed in the air of its own accord. "What do you want me to do, Sadie? I said I was sorry! And it's not like I didn't leave a note for you to find."

"That's not the point! You can't just take off like this," she reprimanded. "You have obligations—"

"That are being taken care of," Jude interrupted. "Look, I know you're worried and angry at me all at once, but this was something I had to do, okay? I need this time away," she added quietly.

"And we need you home. Jude… I know I've been one hundred percent, completely against Tom since he's been back—"

"Sadie—"

"But he's in a really bad place right now. And I don't think this has anything to do with Angie suddenly showing back up again, either. I mean, I think it's a part of it, but this… this is something bigger. Much bigger."

"You know about Angie?" she asked with narrowed eyes. That really got her blood working. She had just found out about it mere hours ago and Sadie already knew? Her big sister remained quiet until Jude prodded her again. "Sadie?"

"Well, kind of. I know the cliff notes version of the story. Kwest told me."

"Oh."

Now it all made a little more sense.

"Jude, don't be mad at Kwest, okay? He was protecting his friend—something you would have done for Johnny in an instant if you had to."

Jude sighed and leaned back against the couch, tucking her legs underneath her butt. "I'm not mad at him, Sades. I should be mad at him for keeping this from me, but I'm not. It wasn't his secret to tell."

"Well, in all fairness, he told me that he told Tommy numerous times to tell you the truth."

She allowed herself a small smile and grunted. "That somehow doesn't surprise me."

She heard her sister sigh on the other end and she could feel herself crumbling all over again. She knew that sigh all too well. "I'm sorry you're going through this right now, Jude. I really am."

"But…?"

"But I'm serious. I think something is really wrong with Tommy."

"What do you mean?" she asked, unable to keep herself from worrying about him.

"I don't know," she said quickly. "But he showed up on our doorstep early this evening looking like he'd been through hell and back. Hell, he broke down in tears on our stairwell after he found your note. Something's seriously wrong. And I don't think it's just because of your break-up, Jude. But he won't budge. He's not telling me or Kwest what's got him so shaken."

"Shocker," she said bitterly.

"Jude. This is serious. I'm really, _really_ worried about him. I think you're the only one that can help him."

She stayed silent and let her sister's words sink in. She wanted to go back and be there for him—not to mention the fact that she was curious to know what could have brought Tom Quincy to tears.

But she couldn't do it.

She wasn't his girl anymore and it certainly wasn't her place to go rushing back to him just because he was going through a hard time.

"It's not my problem," she said quietly.

Silence was her only answer. Clearly Sadie didn't expect her to answer so harshly.

"You don't mean that."

"Actually, I do. Look, I need to get over this. I need to get over _him_. And to do that, I need to be away from him. Going back home right now to comfort him isn't an option, Sades. I need time."

She heard an angry huff on the other end of the phone and she could only imagine the wheels turning in her big sister's head. "Look, I respect the fact that you need time and I understand it. And, as your older sister, I want you to know that I'm saying this with as much love as humanly possible, but I think you're overreacting."

"What?!" she exclaimed angrily. "He's married, Sadie! _Married_! Or did you miss that part?"

"No, no. I didn't. You have every right to be angry about that."

"Well thanks for your permission," she said sarcastically.

"Would you let me finish?" She let out an annoyed scoff, but waited for Sadie to continue, nonetheless. "Thank you. Anyway, here's my way of thinking:

"You chose to enter this relationship, Jude. You got warnings from Johnny, from me… hell I'm sure there were other people cautioning you about being with him, but the point is, _you_ chose it. You knew he had baggage, but you didn't care.

"I'll admit it—you two make a disgustingly cute couple and I'm glad you decided to be with him because you've been so happy this past month.

"But you can't just be in a relationship through the good times. Your whole heart has to be in it and you can't go running the minute things get sticky." She paused and if Jude knew her sister at all, she knew she was strategically choosing what to say next. "Look, I'm not excusing what he did. He should have manned up and told you everything, but I have to say, I can kind of see where he's coming from on this. That marriage was essentially over. The only thing holding him back was a piece of paper."

"And that piece of paper is everything, Sadie."

"But this wasn't his fault! She left him and stayed away all this time," Sadie argued.

"But he didn't bother telling me the truth. Maybe if he would have told me, things might have been different, but he didn't tell me." She paused and breathed a heavy sigh. "You know how I feel about marriage, Sadie."

For once, Sadie ad no response to that. And Jude was very thankful, too.

"So when are you coming back, then?" she asked, defeated.

"I don't know. Maybe not for a while."

"But your album…"

"It's being taken care of. Only a couple more tracks need to be recorded and I can lay down the vocals just as easily here as I can in Toronto."

"And where exactly is 'here'?"

Jude smirked and shook her head. "Nice try. But anyway, they don't need me for the mixing, so I can just send the vocals back to Georgia after they're finished and they can finish the tracks and promote the album without me."

"You've got it all covered, don't you?"

"Pretty much. Look, I've gotta get going. Don't worry about me, okay? I'm safe."

Sadie sighed and she knew she had won her sister over. "I wish you would tell me where you were—it would make me feel a lot better. But I understand. Besides, maybe it's better this way. Now I don't have to lie to Tommy about where you are."

Her heart constricted just the slightest bit at his name. She had a feeling it would be doing that for a while. "I love you, Sades."

"Love you too, Jude."

"Tell Kwest that I'm sorry for worrying him and I miss him," she said softly.

"Okay. Call me, all right? Don't just drop off the face of the planet, okay?"

She smiled and nodded, even though she knew Sadie couldn't see her. "I will. I miss you. Bye."

"Bye."

She hung up and saw Johnny leaning against the archway leading into the living room. His expression was unreadable, which was odd. She could always read him.

"Hey. What's up?"

He shrugged and walked back into the living room. "I have to go into the studio. I wasn't expecting you, so I don't have any time off."

"That's fine, J. Actually, I was meaning to talk to you about that. I was wondering if I could buy some studio time and record the vocals for the last couple songs on my album? I kind of left right when we were finishing it up," she said sheepishly.

He sighed and ran hand through his hair. "Well, I shouldn't agree to it until you tell me what's going on and why you decided to bail in the last stretch of completing your album. But you know I'll have no problem helping you lay down the vocals."

"Thanks," she whispered.

He nodded and stood up, getting ready to go. "Just make yourself at home, okay. There's actually food in the fridge. I did have time to go to the store," he said with a smirk. "Oh. Before I forget, I have something for you."

He walked into the kitchen and a few seconds later, came back into the living room, holding a box of her favorite Pop Tarts in his hand. Surprise filled her eyes and she raised a questioning eyebrow at him. "How…?"

He laughed and leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. "I've had these in stock, just in case you ever decided to pay me a surprise visit."

For some reason, this made her emotional and those annoying tears welled in her eyes again. Johnny looked perplexed and immediately knelt down in front of her. "Hey, what's wrong? These were supposed to make you happy!"

"They do," she sniffled. "It's just… this was really thoughtful. Thank you."

He sighed and brushed some of her hair back. "You're going to make me have gray hair prematurely, aren't you?"

She laughed and threw her arms around him. "Sorry."

"It's okay. It's just part of the territory of being your best friend, I guess," he said with a smirk. He got up to leave again, but stopped when he was at the door. "Did you want to come and see the studio?"

Jude made a face and shook her head. "Thanks, but no thanks. I'm not exactly feeling up to any kind of studio time right now." He nodded and was just about out the door, but she stopped him. "But I will take you up on that offer some time. Maybe tomorrow? I want to meet that artist you're so fond of. What's her name, Jessica?"

He smiled and shook his head. "Jane. And that would be great, except for one small problem. She's not here. She had some personal business to take care of and had to take off for about a week or so. I don't know if you'll get to meet her or not."

"Oh. That's too bad," she said truthfully. She had been looking forward to meeting her.

"Yeah. She really wants to meet you. Maybe we'll luck out and she'll be back early or something. Anyway, I really have to go. Call me if you need anything," he said before shutting the door swiftly behind him.

Jude stared blankly at the door after he had gone and felt the depression setting in again almost immediately. When she had been with Johnny, she at least had something else to focus on. Now, she was all alone, being plagued by thoughts of Tommy.

Ugh. She was being pathetic. She didn't know why she couldn't just make her brain stop thinking about him. It was like she was trapped inside her own head and she hated it.

Images of how pained he looked when she told him they were finished flashed through her mind. It killed her, knowing that she caused him that pain, but she felt like she didn't have a choice. He was married. He wasn't hers to claim. He wasn't hers to comfort…

She felt her stress over the situation catching up to her, making her groggy. She placed the Pop Tarts on the floor beside her and moved to lay down when her phone rang.

She tightly shut her eyes as Tommy's face stared back up at her.

She heaved a frustrated sigh and accepted the call. "What?"

"Please don't hang up," he said hurriedly. "Jude, I need to talk to you."

"And I need you to quit calling me. Please."

"This is important. I need to see you. Something's happened… something's changed," he said uncertainly. Jude's eyes narrowed as she noted that he sounded different. And then something that Sadie had said registered in her head.

_"Something's seriously wrong. And I don't think it's just because of your break-up, Jude._"

She couldn't put her finger on it, but something in the tone of his voice made her intrigued and she felt compelled to not hang up on him right away.

"What do you mean?"

He let out a frustrated sigh before answering her. "I need to see you. I can't talk to you about this over the phone."

Jude bit her lip and made a decision. This would be a test for him of sorts.

"If you can find me, we'll talk."

"How am I supposed to know where you are right now? You could be anywhere."

"If you know me as well as you claim to, you should be able to figure out where I am. I'm going to go now. Goodbye, Tommy."

"Jude—"

But she hung up, ignoring his protests.

As she laid down to try and take a nap after her long flight, she tried desperately to ignore the huge part of her that was hoping he would find her.

* * *

Okay, so there it is in all of its glory. I hope you all will stick with me and keep those wonderful reviews coming.

Oh, and I don't know how many of you Instant Star fans watch the show Heroes, but I've started a short fiction over there. It's Peter/Claire centric (non-cesty) and takes place three years into the future with them as fugitives. I've really enjoyed writing it so far. You should check it out!


	27. Chapter 26

Hello all!

I'm back!

Sorry it's taken me forever to give you the follow-up chapters since I've uploaded 25. I just wanted to wait until I've had more substantial writing accomplished and I've finally starting getting back in the writing groove for this story. I'm sorry it's been such a long time and you have my apologies. Hopefully my readers have not lost complete interest in this story because once 28 rolls around, I personally think it's going to get interesting.

Now, that being said, when I wrote chapter 26, I'd had it planned that way for a long time before I ever got around to typing it up. I knew in advance how my readers would feel about it, but what's about to happen is really meant to help the storyline progress to end in Jommy. I've posted it over on another site and, as predicted, fans of the story were um... less than pleased with me. But by the time the next chapter rolled around, all was well. So I ask that if you review for chapter 26, please refrain from flames. Constructive criticism I will accept graciously, but I'm not exactly receptive to flat-out nasty comments. Some of you may like the events that come to pass, though. I had a few over at the other site that did. I've thoroughly enjoyed reading each and every one of your comments so far, so I hope the positive helpfulness and encouragement will not stop any time soon. You all are fabulous fans and thank you so much for sticking with story!

Now that I've said my piece, I'll continue on with the story. You'll be getting two chapters uploaded today and 27 will have no note at the beginning. Lol.

As always, please let me know what you think of the chapters. I hoep you enjoy them!

* * *

****

Chapter 26

__

Three Days Later

Jude sat in front of the soundboard at Riptide with Johnny and was listening to the playback of some of her vocals. She had come in with him yesterday and today and she was nearly finished with everything.

Luckily, Georgia wasn't too pissed off at her. When Jude had explained the very abridged version of what had happened and told Georgia about her plan to still get the album finished on time, her boss had actually been rather accepting of her idea. It was EJ she had run into problems with. The short, feisty PR director had snatched the phone away from Georgia and screamed at Jude to get her scrawny ass back to Toronto because they couldn't promote the album well enough without the artist.

Thankfully, Georgia had yelled at EJ and grabbed the phone back and told Jude to ignore her and gave her the official okay.

Johnny had been elated when she'd told him she didn't have to fly back any time soon and he had taken her out for a celebratory dinner. But he didn't miss the opportunity to razz her for not being old enough for going out for celebratory drinks.

After that, she had been feeling oddly inspired and had managed to write two amazing songs. She knew that sounded a little bit conceited, but they were great. Probably some of her best work.

Johnny sat across from her, grinning at her as he bobbed his head to the beat. There had been some available back up musicians and he had graciously talked them into recording some backing tracks for her album. Of course, it hadn't taken a lot to get them to agree to it. As soon as he'd said Jude Harrison and they had seen her walking into the lobby, they immediately accepted the offer—and they had accepted it for free. Apparently they were huge fans of her work. She hadn't been aware she was known in the States, so it was a little surprising to her, actually.

But she wasn't complaining.

They sounded fabulous.

"You work with these guys regularly?" she asked, feeling slightly jealous.

"Every day. They're one of the best backup bands I've ever produced."

"Well I'd have to agree with you. They shred," she said with a nod. She grinned mischievously and gave him a quick glance. "Just don't tell SME I said that."

He chuckled and quickly agreed. "Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me."

"Hey, I'm going to go grab something to drink from hospitality, you want anything?"

He reached into his pocket and handed her some money. "Yeah, just grab me a Pepsi or something. Thanks, babe."

"Yep."

She made her way out to the lobby and towards their hospitality. She had to admit, she could see why Johnny had been so attracted to this place. Everything was different here, but somehow, maybe a little better. They had more studios at Riptide, more producers, just more people in general.

Not to mention LA was incredible. She loved it here. It had everything and she was officially in love with the weather. She wasn't particularly a fan of the cold, so this was a little piece of heaven for her.

But LA was lacking something.

It wasn't home. And she missed home.

She missed _him_. As much as she didn't want to, she couldn't help it. She missed everything, right down to the way he smelled.

It was particularly worse at night. She had grown accustomed to sleeping with his arms around her and she felt empty without that security.

Surprisingly, Johnny hadn't questioned her anymore about what happened. She knew he was beyond curious and was itching for the truth, but he had let it go. She figured that he was waiting for her to be ready to talk about it.

But she didn't know if she wanted to talk to him about it.

She hadn't even told him about the deal that she'd made with Tommy. Perhaps it was mainly because she didn't believe that he would actually show up on Johnny's doorstep.

He hadn't found her yet and she was starting to doubt that he was even looking. Maybe he didn't want to find her; maybe she was being too difficult for him and he didn't want to deal with this roadblock, so he was backing out…

Her thoughts were interrupted and she jumped slightly at the intrusion. "Jude, right?"

She glanced up to see a guy that reminded her a little bit of Mason smiling at her. His hair was a little blonder and his skin darker, but he had the friendly demeanor that Mason possessed and she immediately took to him. "Right," she said with a nod.

"I'm Chris. I'm the bassist for the band that just recorded your backup music."

"I thought you looked familiar. I've been meaning to tell you—you guys are killer. You have an amazing sound."

"Thanks," he said with a grin. They stood there in an awkward silence for a few minutes before he took the initiative to talk again. "So I must say that it's great to finally meet you. Though, to be honest, I kind of feel like I already know you."

Her eyes narrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Well Johnny. He talks about you non-stop. And when he's not working, he's playing your music or checking up on you via gossip columns and entertainment channels on the Internet."

"What?" she asked, feeling a little shocked.

He nodded and folded is arms. "Yeah, he's missed you a lot."

"I know," she said quietly.

He quickly shook his head to disagree. "No, I don't think you do. I've never seen him this happy. None of us have. I didn't know it was possible for him to be this laid-back. It's good you're here. I think he needed this." Jude stood there silently, unable to think of anything to say. His phone went off, interrupting the silence. "Hey, I've got to take this. But it was good talking to you. We should hang out some time."

She only nodded and quietly muttered a brief, "Yeah," before he smiled widely at her and left her standing alone.

How could she have been this blind? Was she really that self-absorbed that she couldn't see it?

She frowned and finished getting their drinks before returning to the studio that she and Johnny were working in. She must have had a dazed look on her face when she handed him his drink because he was frowning when he finally got her attention.

"What's up with you?"

She sighed and tilted her head to the side. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, of course."

"And you'll tell me the truth?"

He glanced skeptically at her before nodding. "What's this about, Jude?"

"Are you happy here? I mean _really_ happy?"

He hesitated before answering. "Of course. What makes you think otherwise?"

Jude frowned and glared at him. He was lying. "I thought you said you would tell me the truth."

He turned away from her and began fiddling with the soundboards. "I'm happy enough," he mumbled.

She nodded and leaned her back on the soundboard. "I thought so. What's going on?"

"It's nothing for you to worry about."

"J, come on. Talk to me." He didn't say anything. Instead, he just averted his gaze even more. "Hey. You've always been able tell me everything. Why is this any different?"

"Because it is," he said moodily.

"That's really helpful. Look, why can't you just tell me?"

"And why can't you just let this go? I'm happier than I was when I first got here. Why can't that be enough?"

"Because it's not! I don't want you to have to settle. I want you to be happy and I don't think you are here."

"Why are you pushing this?" he said irritably. "Let it go."

"No," she said stubbornly. "I've let it go for too long. I've been a horrible friend and I'm sorry. It's just… I thought things were better for you now."

"And they are. So I don't see what the big deal is."

"Look, I—"

Suddenly, a third party person cut her off. At first, Jude didn't even look up. "Sorry, I didn't realize anybody else was in here. I'll just come back… oh." It was the voice she recognized first. Then she dared to look over at this woman and her face paled. The other girl's eyes were wide and worried. "Jude."

"Angie?"

* * *

Johnny frowned and stared at Jude in confusion. Why had she just called her Angie? Her name was Jane.

"Angie? What are you talking about, Jude? This is my artist, Jane."

But as he looked at Jane, he noticed that she wasn't looking at him at all. She was biting her bottom lip and she looked as though she had just gotten caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"What's going on?" Neither girl said a word. Jane looked as white as a ghost and Jude looked murderous. "Jane?" Nothing. "Jude?" Again, nothing. He was getting beyond frustrated. "Will somebody please tell me what the hell is going on?"

Suddenly, Jude broke out into one of her forced smiles that he had come to know so well and shook her head. "Sorry, Johnny. It was my mistake. I just thought she looked like somebody I know. I was wrong. Anyway… excuse me."

She hastily got up out of her chair and made beeline for the door, giving Jane a brief nod, not looking back at Johnny once.

It was that action that gave her away. That and the fact that she had been excited to meet Jane, so if she had been mistaken as she claimed to have been, why wouldn't she have stuck around to try and get to know her? So, he knew she was lying to him, and that for some reason, she was protecting Jane. Or was it Angie?

He felt anger boiling in the pit of his stomach. He had trusted this girl, and now, he was coming to find out that quite possibly, their entire relationship had been a lie for these past nine months. He had started to allow himself to really open up to her, trust her a lot, almost as much as he did with Jude. And now, he was beginning to doubt everything.

He had known that she had obviously had a past, but just what the hell kind of past did she have?

He folded his arms and glared at his artist, his happy mood completely vanishing.

"Explain, Jane. Or should I call you Angie?"

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Johnny… I think you and I should talk."

"Yeah, so do I."

She nodded and sat down in the chair that Jude had previously been occupying. "It's kind of a long story."

"I've got time."

"You might want to sit down," she said as she nodded towards his chair that he had recently vacated.

"I think I'll stand, thanks," he said crossly.

She merely shrugged her shoulders and nodded. "Suit yourself." She paused and cleared her throat nervously. "Well… the first thing you should know is my name isn't Jane. Not my given name anyway. My real name is Angela Davis-Quincy. Well, I guess now, just Angie Davis. My personal business that I had to attend to earlier this week was divorcing my husband, Tom Quincy."

Johnny paled and he felt his knees giving out. "I think I'm going to sit down now," he mumbled.

"It's probably a good idea, because you should know that's not everything. It gets worse."

"How does it get any worse than this?"

She gave him a weak smile. "I told you. It's a long story."

* * *

It was around midnight when she gave up on any hope of sleep. She had been lying in bed, tossing and turning relentlessly and finally decided to get out of bed.

Now, she was pacing in Johnny's living room, waiting for him to come back.

A million thoughts had been running in her head throughout the day, all centered around Angie. When she had seen Angie show up in Johnny's studio, calling her Angie had been a slip of the tongue. It was just out of pure shock. She hadn't expected her to show up, so she was completely taken by surprise. She had immediately regretted letting it slip that she knew this girl. She knew how much Johnny loved working with "Jane" and when she had seen the look on his face, she couldn't bring herself to tell him the truth. She didn't know why, but she'd had a feeling that her best friend had started developing feelings for this woman and she'd had an overwhelming need to protect him from it.

So now, she wanted to know what had happened after she left. She knew that Johnny wouldn't believe her and she'd decided to leave so that he and Angie could talk.

The only problem that she had with Angie showing up was that it brought back all of her pain she had been trying to hide from Johnny. She just kept thinking about Tommy and how much she missed him. She couldn't ever remember feeling this sad and being in LA with Johnny wasn't even helping that much. Not as much as she thought it would, anyway.

She was in mid-pace when she heard the door handle rattling and she quickly ran over to open the door for Johnny.

She instantly regretted doing so because she had to force herself not to gag when the wind blew and her nostrils got invaded with his scent. He reeked of alcohol.

"Oh, Johnny. What happened?"

"I'd hoped you'd gone to bed already," he slurred lazily.

"I tried, but it didn't exactly work out too well since I was worrying about you the whole time."

"Sorry."

Jude sighed. He had barely managed to get that word out at all. It was a wonder how he'd managed to get himself back to his place.

"It's okay," she said as she slipped her arm around his waist to support him. "Let's get you to bed."

She started walking him towards his bedroom and tried to hold her breath so she didn't have to smell the alcohol. Jesus, he smelled like he'd bought every drink known to man. And that just made her all that more curious as to what happened after she'd left the studio. Clearly it wasn't anything good.

"You're my best friend," he managed.

She allowed herself a small smile and she nodded. "I know, babe. You're mine too."

"I'm sorry I l-li-lied to you."

She stopped and frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I sh-shouldn't have. Lying just hurts everybody," he said slowly. It took him about three times before he actually finished.

She let out a frustrated sigh and tried to maintain some semblance of patience. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"About Sadie."

Jude stiffened and tried to resume getting him into bed. She was hoping that Johnny was too far gone to really continue this conversation. She kind of didn't want to hear whatever it was he had to say. She didn't know if she could take anymore secrets.

Finally, after many near falls and plenty of actual stumbles, Jude managed to get him to his room. He collapsed on his bed with a loud thud and with apparent effort, turned himself on his back. He groaned and placed his arm over his forehead.

Jude felt so bad for him and wished she could help, but there really wasn't anything she could do. He'd just have to sleep it off.

But to make his night a little more comfortable, she started untying his boots that he had on so that she could take them off.

"I've slept in my boots before," he grumbled.

"Well, that's only because I wasn't around. I'm here now and there will be no sleeping," she grunted as she pulled one of them off, "in boots."

She saw him smile in the dimly lit room and couldn't help but match it.

He brought his arm down from his face and stared at her with an unfamiliar gleam in his eyes. It made her heart pound slightly in her chest and she could feel herself growing more and more confused. He never looked at her that way before.

"You're my best friend," he repeated from earlier.

She swallowed nervously but maintained her smile. "I know."

"I love you," he whispered before his eyes fluttered shut.

Her eyes widened in shock. Normally, she'd laugh and say it back, knowing that it was a familial kind of love that he was referring to.

But there was something different this time. The look in his eyes was what had made her think differently and sent her into panic mode. What if he was being serious? What if this wasn't their normal "I love yous"? What if this was more?

Sounds of his soft snoring soon told her that he was dead to the world, which was good because maybe then, she'd have time to figure out how to go about this new information.

Although, maybe she was just reading too much into it. Maybe she was imagining the way he'd been looking at her. And maybe, just maybe she was freaking out for nothing.

That possibility was a great comfort to her and one that allowed her to hightail it out of his room and back to his guest room that she was staying in.

Once she laid down on her bed and stared up at the ceiling, contemplating various ways to handle the situation, exhaustion overwhelmed her and she soon found herself unable to think about the possibilities of Johnny's meaning behind his, "I love you."

That would be tomorrow's problem.

* * *

Johnny awoke with a disgruntled groan. There was barely any sunlight leaking in through his curtains, yet he wanted curse the sun for being up this early. As he thought that, he glanced over at his clock and saw that it was past noon. Okay, so maybe it wasn't exactly as early as he thought it was.

He rubbed a tired hand over his face and yawned. What a way to start the day.

Forcing himself out of bed, he swung his legs over and frowned when he glanced down at his feet. When did he take off his boots?

Christ, it had been a while since he woke up with absolutely no memory of the night before. He usually was too busy to even think about getting that hammered. But yesterday… yesterday had been an exception.

Finding out that he had been lied to by his favorite artist from the get-go was something that had sent him reeling. He couldn't believe he'd never known that she wasn't Jane, but Angie Quincy. Well, according to her, she was no longer Angie Quincy anymore. She'd told him the divorce had gone through faster than she could blink because she hadn't even wanted anything out of it, so there was essentially little to no litigation to be dealt with. It was basically just a matter of crossing the 'T's' and doting the 'I's'.

And then she'd explained about Isaac. Hers and Tommy's son, apparently.

She'd told him everything there was to know about her relationship with Tommy. She'd claimed that things had gone downhill almost immediately after they'd said their "I dos". And then, a few weeks into the marriage, she'd found out that she'd been pregnant. At first, she'd been overwhelmed with joy, but then, when she'd casually brought up the topic of children around Tom, he'd scoffed and sneered, rejecting the mere mention of them.

She'd been devastated at his obvious distaste for children and she'd told Johnny that she didn't want the child growing in her around someone who wanted nothing to do with kids. And besides that, she'd said her trust in Tommy had slowly been diminishing day after day.

She'd enlightened him as to why she left, too. She'd been too scared to go through with the pregnancy being around Tommy. She was a horrible liar and she didn't know how she'd be able to keep it from him if she'd stayed.

So she'd had her name legally changed to Jane Thomson, using her mother's middle name and her grandmother's maiden name in place of her birth name.

Jane—Angie… he didn't know if he'd ever get used to calling her Angie—said that she'd gone through her pregnancy in Vancouver and put the baby up for adoption as soon as she was out of Tom's reach.

It had been a lot for him to take.

He was angry. Damn angry. But mostly he was angrier with himself for being so stupid for allowing himself to trust another female that wasn't Jude like that. He couldn't believe he'd been duped this entire time. He felt like an idiot.

Jane was obviously a better liar than she gave herself credit for. Damn it, _Angie._

He repeated the name in his head a few more times, just to try to become accustomed to it. It definitely wasn't working.

But Ja—_Angie_—hadn't been the only thing that had thrown him into his drinking binge last night.

A big part of it had been Jude.

He grunted as she crossed his mind and shook his head roughly. Never in a million years did he think that Jude Harrison would be part of the cause of his drinking problems.

He was confusing himself. Ever since she'd shown up on his doorstep, his mind had been working on overdrive. He had seen how devastated she'd been, heartbroken. He'd never seen her looking so defeated. Never.

And then, she'd not even bothered telling him what was causing her so much pain. Before he'd left, she wouldn't have hesitated, but now things were different. Their relationship was different and he hated it. He didn't like that he had to hear about her heartbreak from another source. He'd wanted it to come from Jude herself.

And to make matters worse, he didn't fail to realize how much happier he was now that she was here in LA with him. Despite how disappointed he was that she'd held back with him, it didn't change how he felt. She was still probably his favorite person in the entire world. It was like he was a different person with her around.

The meaning of it confused him, though. He'd never missed someone so much in his entire life. He couldn't quite believe how attached he'd grown to her without even really realizing it.

But the kicker was when they'd gone out to dinner her second night there. She'd looked different than she had when she'd first come to his apartment. She didn't look quite as sad anymore, even though it was clear she was holding back. But she looked improved.

They had been talking and laughing over the most ridiculous things and he'd felt happier than he had in months. He originally hadn't put much thought into it when he'd realized it; he'd basically ignored it.

Then they went back to his place and she'd given him their standard hug and kiss goodnight. She'd looked at him like he was her own personal hero or something and in that moment, his entire world had shifted and he didn't know what to make of it.

He angrily shook his head, mentally chiding himself for being such a girl about this. It didn't matter. _He_ didn't matter to her that way. And he knew that. He would never matter to her that way so he didn't know why he was even thinking twice about it. Hell he didn't even know if _she_ mattered to him that way. Everything was just so fucked up and he hated it. He hated that he was actually having this battle in his head about Jude. It all seemed so surreal to him.

Forcing his thoughts away from his former blue-eyed artist, Johnny stumbled out of bed and threw himself into the shower, trying to get rid of some the stench that seemed permanently embedded on him. He fought hard not to throw up. The smell alone was killing him and it was a good twelve hours later. He must have drunk more than he thought he had.

Once he was finished showering, he quickly dressed and made his way to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. He'd expected to hear guitar strumming coming from the living room, or humming, or something Jude. But there was nothing.

He frowned as he realized how utterly quiet his apartment sounded. "Jude?" he called out.

Nothing. Nothing but silence.

Worry firmly pitted itself in his gut as he began walking through his apartment, searching through the few rooms he had. He let out a frustrated groan when his search came up empty-handed.

Where was she? Her stuff was still in her bedroom, so she was still here. Somewhere.

He pulled out his phone and called her, only to get her voicemail immediately, informing him quickly that her phone was off. "Hi. You've reached Jude Harrison. Leave it at the beep." He quickly hung up before her message ended and tossed his phone on the kitchen counter.

The coffeemaker went off, signaling that it was ready to go, so he dragged his feet across the floor of the kitchen. And then his eyes caught sight of his very small table. There was a note. A very brief note, but still, a note.

_Went shopping for the day. Be back later._

_Jude._

He frowned in confusion. Since when was Jude ever that short and direct with him?

And why did he feel like she was avoiding him?

* * *

It was very late in the evening when Jude finally decided to go back to Johnny's apartment.

The day had been very long and exhausting, extracting nearly every ounce of energy she possessed. She'd gone shopping at all of the places she'd knew would drive Sadie insane with jealousy and was carrying an impressive amount of bags when she got back to Johnny's.

Normally, she detested shopping, but this had been the perfect remedy to take her mind off of everything. When she shopped, she zeroed in and focused on that one particular thing she was shopping for, all other thoughts leaving her brain. Today hadn't been any different.

She'd needed the distraction from her constant onslaught of thoughts.

Last night, she'd gone to bed determined to figure out a way to deal with what Johnny had said, but then when she'd woken up and snuck into his room, watching his passed out form, she'd clammed up. She'd realized that she didn't _want_ to deal with it, that she didn't want to think about the possibilities behind his drunken statement.

The more she had thought about it though, the more she realized that she didn't even know if he'd been talking about her. He very well could have been talking about Angie for all she knew.

Ugh. This was why she had gone shopping. She hadn't thought about this once the entire time she'd been out.

She struggled to get the keys to the apartment out of her purse and finally successfully managed to pry the door open, after much difficulty, she might add. She'd been determined to not have to rearrange any of the bags on her arms and she'd won out.

Immediately upon entering, she plopped every single bag she was carrying on the floor and breathed a sigh of relief. All that weight had been straining her arms, so she took some time to shake out all of the kinks she'd gotten in the last few minutes it had taken her to walk from the cab to the apartment.

She decided she'd grab the bags later and she began to walk to the kitchen to grab a drink, but she spotted Johnny lying on the couch in the living room. A surge of guilt washed over as she took in his sleeping form. She'd left him hanging all day, despite the note she'd left for him.

She sighed and walked over to the couch, grabbing the blanket that was strewn across the back. The apartment was a little drafty today, so she couldn't imagine that he was actually comfortable without a blanket.

She knelt down in front of him and studied his face; it didn't look peaceful at all. It looked worried, even in his sleep.

A piece of his long hair had fallen down and she brushed it back, but as she got up to leave, he grabbed her wrist, gently holding her in place, and his eyes snapped open. "Don't go," he said groggily. "We need to talk."

Damn.

She hadn't been prepared for this conversation to come so quickly after she'd just gotten back. She hadn't even had time to pull herself together for it.

Reluctantly, she nodded and slipped into place beside of him after he sat up, making room for her to join him. She could feel his lingering gaze and it caused her to shift uncomfortably under the scrutiny. Normally, she didn't ever feel uncomfortable around him, but now, well… something was obviously very different.

"Jude, what happened last night?" he asked tentatively.

She could feel her eyes widening and some part inside of her burst with relief. "You don't remember?"

He shook his head solemnly. "No. All I know is that after I woke up this morning, I smelled like a liquor store. Hell, I don't even remember how I got home."

That was good. No, that was very good. If he couldn't even remember getting home, that meant that he didn't remember _anything_ else.

This was the perfect out.

She cleared her throat nervously and averted his gaze. "Well, you stumbled in around midnight and I helped you to bed. I took off your shoes and you passed out."

"That's it?" he asked disbelievingly.

She was getting ready to say yes when she stopped herself. If she didn't tell him the truth, she'd be a hypocrite. The reason she wasn't with the man she loved right now was because he'd lied. How was it fair if she turned around and did the same thing to Johnny? It was this reluctance that got her caught in her lie.

"Jude?"

"Not exactly," she mumbled. "You said something."

She watched as he visibly stiffened at her confession. He was hesitant when he asked, "What did I say?"

Jude bit her lip and took extra caution to not look at him. She took a deep breath and said, "Well, you kept repeating that I was your best friend. You mentioned something about lying," she said carefully. He didn't need to know that he'd talked about Sadie. She didn't want to know what he had been talking about.

"What else?" he prodded impatiently. She stayed silent, not really wanting to get to this part. But he was persistent. "Jude—"

"You said 'I love you'," she blurted out.

His eyes widened in shock. He sat there, staring blankly at the floor, clearly having a difficult time processing what she had just said. Many times he started to speak, but would promptly shut his mouth again. "I said what?" he finally managed.

"You said 'I love you'," she whispered.

After many minutes of excruciating silence, suddenly, he glared at her. It was the first time she'd ever been even slightly afraid of him. She knew she had no reason to be afraid—she knew he would never hurt her. But he looked like a different man when he was angry. His jaw was firmly set and when he spoke, disdain was dripping with every word. "And you weren't even going to say anything? You were just going to let it go? Is that why you were avoiding me all day?"

"Johnny, no—"

"You know something, why is it so damn hard for people to just tell the fucking truth, mainly you?"

"What are you talking about?" she snapped, feeling just as angry as he undoubtedly was now.

He chuckled bitterly. "_Angie_," he sneered. "I had to find out from _her_ of all people what drove you to LA. My own best friend couldn't tell me what had happened."

"I wasn't ready!" she argued, as she tried to force the pain away. She didn't think it was fair that he was judging her like this. She thought he understood…

He leapt from the couch and his arms flailed wildly. "And that's always your excuse. You're never ready. Just like I'm sure you weren't prepared to deal with what was said when I was drunk. What the hell were you going to do if I'd remembered later what I said last night?"

"Johnny, I don't know why you're getting so upset. I told you the truth!"

"Only after you realized that you'd be the world's biggest hypocrite if you didn't," he accused. She cursed how well he knew her.

But she knew him equally as well.

There was something nagging her instincts. As much as she wanted to be pissed off at him for his foul behavior, she knew there was something else bothering him. It wasn't like him to lose control this easily. He was always the levelheaded one.

"What's going on with you, J?" she said after she calmed herself down.

He shook his head, refusing to talk. Surprisingly, it stung her more than she'd care to admit.

She walked up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Talk to me. Please," she practically begged.

His breathing quickened and for a moment, she considered removing her hand, but in the end, she kept it firmly in place. "I'm so stupid," he muttered.

Her eyes narrowed and she instinctively moved closer. "What do you mean?"

"I shouldn't… I trusted her," he choked out. She immediately moved so that she was facing him and wrapped her arms tightly around him. He quickly returned the embraced and laced his fingers through her hair. "You're the only one I can trust and count on. I know that now. Please, just don't lie to me again," he whispered.

A lump formed in her throat and she felt guilt consuming her. She shouldn't have even thought about lying to him; she knew he had issues, yet she had considered keeping the truth from him anyway.

She hugged him even tighter and placed her head on his chest, shutting her eyes in the process. As she stayed in his arms, she could hear the steady beat of his heart and was baffled when she heard it speed up.

Reluctantly, she slipped out of the embrace and looked up at him. His face was pained and her heart nearly broke at the sight. Clearly the situation she was in with Tommy and Angie affected him too. More than she thought it would have.

Her heart constricted at the thought of Tommy. She hated that he was still randomly popping into her head at unwanted times.

She forced him out of her head and placed a careful hand on Johnny's cheek, ignoring the flashes of Tommy's smiling face still flashing in her head. Why did she feel like she was cheating? She hadn't even done anything yet, not to mention she wasn't with Tommy anymore. So why did she still feel guilty?

She didn't have much time to contemplate this, though because Johnny's eyes fluttered shut as he leaned into her touch and she knew that he was responding to her.

Her own breathing quickened as his much larger hand wrapped around her unsteady one. She knew what was happening and she couldn't stop it. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to.

All she knew was that they were both in pain and she wanted to make his go away.

His eyes slowly opened and he shifted closer to her. He was hesitant as he began lowering his lips to hers. She licked her lips nervously and prepared herself, not really knowing what to expect.

His lips lingered as they were mere centimeters from her own; she could practically feel them already and she was surprised to find that she wanted to know what the full contact felt like.

She closed the remaining distance and was pleasantly pleased with this strange and new turn of events. She hadn't known what to expect, but it wasn't _this_.

She was getting ready to move her lips to deepen the kiss when he pulled back. Jude frowned in confusion when she didn't feel those warm, plush lips against hers.

Looking up at Johnny, she saw hesitation and uncertainty written all over his face. She smiled as she realized that he was making sure she wanted it. To get rid of any doubt, she wrapped her arms around his neck, stood on her tiptoes, and reconnected their mouths. She wanted to forget.

This time, there was no hesitation. He took complete control of the kiss and took her breath away in the process. She didn't think she would ever feel this kind of passion with him and it scared her a little. But that wasn't enough to stop her actions or make her think twice.

She willingly followed him towards the bedroom and from the moment he kicked the door shut behind them, neither one thought of anything but each other and living in the moment. The consequences would be dealt with later…


	28. Chapter 27

****

Chapter 27

Tommy let out a frustrated sigh and rubbed his hand over his face dejectedly. He had a lot to think about.

First, there was Darius' offer, which was beginning to look more and more tempting by the minute. He'd come back to G-Major to let Tommy know that once Jude's album was finished that he wanted him back in Montreal, working on his album full-time. His contract was up soon and D had come to Toronto to negotiate and draw up a new one. Darius was throwing every possible perk into the works; the only thing he hadn't tried yet was blackmail, which, quite honestly, Tommy was surprised that he hadn't, because he certainly had plenty.

Before everything had gone down with Angie, he wasn't even considering accepting the contract again. But now that everything had happened the way that it did, well he was beginning to give it a lot more consideration than before. It was… appealing, to say the least.

He had no idea where he stood with Jude, even though she'd basically told him, "Screw you." The fact that she had given him a chance to find her was hopeful, but he didn't know where to start.

The first person he'd called had been Johnny and, according to him, Jude wasn't there. But there was a niggling feeling in the pit of his stomach that told him Johnny was lying to protect Jude, which Tommy could respect. But if he was right, Jude was in LA right now and it was so tempting to fly out there and get her to listen to him.

But then there was something else stopping him.

After Angie had told him about their son being placed in Phoenix, Arizona, he'd done some research based off of the little information Angie had given him and discovered that the couple was at the same address they had been at three years ago. At the time he'd done the research, he hadn't even realized he was holding his breath until the couple's name came up. Once he had seen Chris and Susan Cook pop up on the screen, he nearly collapsed back into his chair. He had the address of his son.

He hadn't been able to believe how easy it had all been. They were still there. It was all within his grasp—just a plane ride away.

His first instinct had told him to go. Go, go, go.

But as alluring as the thought to fly out to Arizona and see his kid for the first time was, he didn't know if he could do it alone. He was scared shitless. He didn't know if he even knew how to be a dad, considering he didn't have much guidance to go by. But, oddly enough, that was what was fueling his desire to find his kid. A long time ago, he'd vowed to himself that he would be there for his child (were he ever to have one—he definitely hadn't planned on becoming a father). But, should the occasion ever arise, he wouldn't let himself become a deadbeat parent like his own dad. He wouldn't let his child go through the same horrors that he'd gone through in his youth.

No, he'd promised himself that it would be different for his son or daughter.

But he wasn't given the chance to make that change. He'd obviously already failed at his assertions of being a better parent than his own if Angie had been too terrified to allow him to try and raise their own child.

And besides that, what the hell was he going to do if he were to see his son? He was already with a couple who obviously wanted him. From the information he'd already found out, they lived comfortable lives. Would it be fair to take that away from his child? Did he have a right to do that? _Could_ he do that? Could he just go pop in and see his son and then leave? He'd known from the beginning that he wouldn't have the heart to tear that couples' lives to shreds by trying to take Isaac away from them, so any communication with his child would be strictly visitation. He'd be a bystander…

And most importantly, what did he have to offer?

He could barely take care of himself, let alone another living, breathing human being. Hell, he'd had a fish a few years back and he hadn't even been able to keep that alive for more than a week. Imagine how terrible he'd be with his kid.

Further still, showing up would just confuse that little boy. Those two people were the only parents he's ever known and Tommy didn't know if he could just show up on their doorstep and leave well enough alone after seeing his child.

This had been an ongoing, raging battle for him for the last three days.

A part of him hated Angie for keeping this from him. He just couldn't understand how she couldn't have trusted him enough to tell him that she was pregnant. Not only did she keep his child from him, but she also managed to make him feel like the world's biggest ass all in one breath. He had almost forgotten how much of a dick he'd been back then. He felt terrible that he'd scared her enough into believing that she didn't think she could trust him with something as important as a baby. Not that he could blame her, though.

His thoughts were thankfully interrupted when his phone rang. But he frowned when he saw the caller ID. He was half-tempted to not answer it, but he knew she wouldn't be calling unless it was important.

"What do you want, Angie?" he said crossly.

"To give you some information I think that you might find very useful…"

* * *

_Meanwhile, back in LA._

Jude stared up at the ceiling, as did Johnny. She was fairly certain they were both in shock.

Soon, though, the silence became overwhelming. It wasn't an awkward silence, but she was dying of curiosity. She didn't know what happened now.

"Huh. Well that was… interesting. I can't really say I saw that coming."

"Yeah, me either." More silence passed before Johnny spoke up again. "Damn it, I'm sorry, Jude. That shouldn't have happened."

She turned her head on her pillow so that it was fully facing him. He looked ashamed. "Don't be sorry. We just got caught up in the moment, that's all."

"Yeah. A ginormous moment that shouldn't have happened in the first place," he mumbled.

"Thanks," she said dryly.

He groaned in frustration and flipped over on his side to face her. "I didn't mean it like that. It's just… thank God nothing else happened. Thank God we _stopped_. I don't know what would have happened if we had actually… well, you know," he said as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

She gave him a wry smile and nodded, "I know. I feel the same way."

"That's definitely a relief," he said as he mirrored her smile.

"So what happens now?"

"How 'bout you tell me exactly what you were thinking when you called me Tommy?" he remarked with a raised eyebrow. "Obviously, I know what you were thinking, but I mean—"

She raised her hand and shook her head. "I know what you mean," she said with a sigh. "I'm sorry about that, by the way."

He laughed and flipped back onto his back again. She was relieved to notice that he didn't sound brokenhearted in the slightest. If anything, he was… amused? "While it didn't do much for my ego, I promise it's cool. It's probably for the best, anyway. I'd say that put a major halt to our, uh… activities."

Jude's face flushed with embarrassment as the recently acquired memory played in her head. She still couldn't believe that she had called out Tommy's name while she was in a hot and heavy make-out session with Johnny. Talk about a major 'oops' moment.

"Again, sorry," she said sheepishly.

"Jude, it's fine. I swear, I'm not upset."

"You should be," she said, still feeling embarrassed. "Any normal guy would be."

"Well I'm not normal," he said with a shrug.

"Amen to that," she replied with a smirk.

He playfully punched her in the shoulder and she laughed and smacked him back, but slightly harder.

"Enough avoiding the topic, Harrison. I thought you said you were, and I quote, 'Done with Quincy'? Blurting his name out in a make-out session doesn't sound like you're exactly finished with him, babe."

She sighed and began fiddling with his sheets, unable to bring herself to look at him for some reason. "I can't help it," she admitted. "It's like he's in my blood now or something and I can't get him out of my system. At times… at times I hate it, detest it even, but at the same time, my heart knows it's right."

"So why aren't you doing anything about it? What are you so afraid of?"

"Have you ever heard the expression 'fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me'?" She saw him nodding and let out a bitter chuckle. "Well I won't be fooled a third time, J. I've trusted Tom Quincy more times than he's deserved. I don't know if I can do it again," she said softly.

"I don't understand."

She took a deep breath and, for the first time since she'd known Johnny, began to talk about her relationship with Tommy when she had first met him. "When I first won Instant Star and Georgia told me who my producer was going to be, I laughed in her face. I _despised_ Tom Quincy, boybander extraordinaire. He was everything that I hated about the music industry and Georgia was pairing me with _him_. I thought it was some kind of joke—I was certain it must have been.

"But when I found out that she wasn't, in fact, kidding and that she was sticking to her decision for a producer for me, I had to go with it. So I rebelled a little. I put up the biggest fight that I could. No matter what he did to me, I wasn't going to let him in. Not at all.

"Then something incredible happened. I realized that I was wrong about him. He knew music like I knew music and he detested his boyband past. He had wanted to do serious music and not that cheesy, bubblegum pop that he'd performed.

"Once I found out that he had some musical integrity after all, I slowly began to trust him. And as the weeks progressed as I worked with him, I had trusted him completely without even realizing it. I was mesmerized by him, enamored even. I'd done something I never thought I would ever do in any lifetime—I'd developed a crush, an infatuation, if you will, on Tom Quincy.

"And then the news came. He was leaving. There was no record deal, no new job position that he was after somewhere else… he just wanted 'a vacation'. I was shocked and a little bit heartbroken—though I never told him that, or let it show; he still doesn't know—but the thing that ate at me the most was that he looked like he didn't even care. In fact, he avoided me from the time he told me he was leaving up until he'd left. He didn't even—" she shook her head, embarrassed that it still bothered her after all these years. But she continued anyway. Johnny had a right to know. "He didn't even say goodbye. I had been in Studio C, unprepared to deal with his departure in the form of a party that Georgia had insisted on. I felt like I was losing my best friend, so I certainly didn't feel like partying.

"Finally, after I spent a little time brooding and moping, I was ready to face him. But when I came out of the whole-in-the-wall studio, he was gone. I may know now why he left like that, but at the time, it had been a major blow to me. I'd gone for years thinking that he wanted nothing to do with me, only to find out much later that he'd left because, according to him, his self-control was slipping." She paused and took a deep breath, feeling the slightest bit spent after revealing all of that to Johnny. It felt like she was baring a part of her soul to him, like she was naked in a sense; she hadn't talked about this with anyone, not even to Tommy. "I was to determined to not let him in again after I found out that he was going to be my new producer and somehow, he managed to get to me again—even worse this time.

"You wanted to know why I didn't know if I could trust him, so there it is. That's why I don't know if I can do this again, Johnny," she admitted quietly.

He was quiet for a minute and Jude had no idea to know what he was possibly thinking or wanting to say next and she wasn't sure that she liked it, either.

"Okay, so let me see if I've got this right. He left right when you started to trust him completely, and then when he came back and regained your trust, he lied to you about something as monumentally important as being married." When she didn't say anything, he flipped over onto his side and she began to feel uncomfortable under the intensity of his stare. "Look, I definitely understand your reluctance to give him another shot. But if you're this miserable without him, don't you think that should tell you something?"

Jude frowned. She hated that he was pointing out what she already knew.

She just wasn't sure if she could do what sounded so easy. She knew that Tommy was sorry, but for what, she wasn't quite sure. She didn't know if he was sorry for lying to her, or sorry for getting caught.

As she rolled onto her back once more, trying desperately to ignore the intrusive stare, she thought about how much easier this would all be if she didn't love Tommy anymore. But she did. And she was absolutely miserable without him.

"So you're saying I should forgive and forget, just like that?"

"No. I'm not saying you should forgive and forget, 'just like that'. I'm not even saying that you should forget. But if you still love him—and I think we both know that you do—then you need to at least _try_ to forgive him. You know that he regrets lying to you and that he's sorry. You're just being stubborn."

She let out a grunt at this. "Do I know that he's sorry for lying to me?" she inquired crossly.

Johnny's eyes narrowed, "What does that mean? Jude you _know_ that he is. You're just refusing to see it."

She scoffed and shook her head stubbornly. "Did you know that we got into a fight the day before Angie showed up?"

She snuck a glance back towards Johnny and saw that his jaw was clenched. "How could I have? You never told me," he pointed out.

Jude grimaced at the bitterness in his tone. She hadn't realized how much she had hurt him when she refused to talk to him about what had happened with Tommy. "Right," she mumbled. "Sorry."

He nodded, but she noticed that he didn't tell her to not worry about it, or that it was okay. Clearly it wasn't.

So she decided to try and rectify this situation as best as she could. She didn't know if she could or not, be she'd sure as hell try. "Well, he and I got into a fight. It was a pretty nasty one, too. He'd started distancing himself from me after he got a phone call. I pointed that out to him and he didn't like that very much and he just became this… stranger. His eyes were closed off and I didn't like that at all.

"I yelled, he yelled, and then he told me to leave. So I did."

"What?"

She nodded, trying to stop the instant replay that was going on inside of her head. "Yeah. But he came after me and forced me to go back inside with him so that we could talk. And you know what he said?" Johnny shook his head and looked like he was completely enthralled with her story for some reason. Why was beyond her. "He said I was right and that he was distancing himself. He even apologized for it. But then he told me that the phone call dealt with his past. He was very vague and extremely evasive. All he told me was that it dealt with his artist from Montreal."

Johnny's eyes widened. "Are you serious? You mean he actually mentioned her willingly?"

She quirked an eyebrow in part confusion and part intrigue. "What do you know about Tommy and his evasiveness when it came to Angie?"

He gave her an incredulous stare, one that said the answer should be obvious. "Well, when I was still back in Toronto and trying to size Tommy up, I mentioned his artist and 'bam'. The dude shut down faster than I've ever blinked in my life. I thought he was going to tear my head off, truth-be-told."

Jude snorted and nodded her head in agreement. "Sounds about right. Same thing happened to me once. Scariest thing I've ever seen in my life," she said with a shudder. "Anyway, but yes—he did mention her willingly. And then, he said that he wasn't going to tell me anything else. He told me that he didn't want to risk losing 'us' because of his past and that it didn't change how he felt about me."

"I'm still confused here, babe."

She let out a frustrated sigh. "I'm saying that I'm questioning how sorry he is because he had the opportunity to tell me the truth and he didn't. He flat-out refused to tell me. So how do I know if he's really sorry for lying to me? What if he's just sorry that he got caught?"

Johnny started laughing and Jude scowled as she sat up in his bed. When he caught sight of her deepened frown, he started laughing even harder. "What the hell is so amusing? Care to share?"

Once he finally calmed down, he joined Jude in her sitting position and turned so that he could face her. "Sorry. It's just that's seriously what you're worried about?"

"Yes!" she replied indignantly.

"Babe, again, I'm sorry, but that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

"Excuse me?"

He nodded earnestly. "Jude, come on. You and I both know that you really don't believe that. The truth is, you can 'what-if' everything to death, but none of it matters. You can only deal with what you've got, so stop over-thinking everything. Do you really, truly, believe that Tom Quincy is only sorry because he got caught?" When she didn't say anything, he deepened his annoying stare. "Do you?" he asked again.

She turned away from him and answered reluctantly, "No."

"See? Jude, you know he's sorry and you know that you miss him. So why are you even still here?" Again, she said nothing. He nodded and patted her on the thigh. "Stop running. Face it. Face _him_," he said as he got off the bed and walked into the bathroom.

The next thing she heard was the shower running and once again, she was trapped inside her own swarm of thoughts.

She had a lot to think about.

* * *

The next day, Jude awoke in a state of euphoria, which was surprising, considering she had still been slightly depressed the day before.

But she'd reached an epiphany of sorts. It wasn't a big one, but it would do.

She was going home.

As much as she loved being out here in LA with Johnny, it wasn't home. She'd gotten the songs recorded and she'd already shipped them off to Georgia, so her album wasn't really an issue, but she still needed to go back to Toronto. Johnny was right. She had to face him. She was ready to forgive him, to try and start over at least.

She got out of bed, got dressed, and prepared to start her day, maybe even start over. The kitchen was calling her name and she was certain that Johnny had already fixed coffee—which, of course, she couldn't let go to waste, after all.

As she walked into the kitchen, she had a grin on her face and smiled at Johnny. "Good morning."

He raised an eyebrow at her over his coffee mug and looked at her as though she'd grown a second head. "I didn't even know there was such a thing for you," he said with a smirk.

"Ha, ha. Very funny," she quipped as she began preparing her own coffee.

"Uh, Jude. What are you doing?"

"Getting my coffee," she stated.

"No need. Already done," he said as he nodded towards the counter.

She smiled and kissed him on the cheek in thanks. She hesitated immediately, still not knowing quite where they stood after last night. But he only smiled at her and gave her a reassuring nod. He was really too good to be true sometimes. "Thanks, babe."

"Okay. What's going on with you? Are you feeling all right?"

"Never better," she replied honestly as she took a sip of the warm, soothing liquid.

"No, seriously. What's going on? You're unusually… chipper," he finished uncertainly.

She merely laughed at his confusion and began searching for the Pop Tarts he'd purchased for her. She turned back towards him after she grabbed one of the silver wrapped packages, tore it open, and began talking with a mouth full of her favorite pastry. "That's a bad thing?"

"No, it's just weird. Are you sure everything is okay?"

Smiling, she nodded as she took another bite of her food. "Absolutely. I'm just feeling a lot better about everything—" she was suddenly interrupted, but that didn't stop her grin from widening as she turned to go answer the now ringing doorbell. She had her hand on the doorknob and yelled over her shoulder as she started opening the door, "And I've come to a conclusion about Tom—" she felt her voice faltering as she looked back towards the door—"my. Tommy," she whispered.

He gave her a brief nod, but held a determined gleam in his eyes. As she took in the sight of him, she could feel her heart beating faster and faster as she realized that there was something different about him. He looked… older?

"What are you doing here?" she asked quietly.

"You said if I could find you, we would talk. Well I found you and now, we're going to talk."

He brushed past her without even waiting to be invited inside and when he walked by, his jean clapped hips grazed her body and she shivered at the contact. She could feel panic begin to settle in her stomach as she realized that her self-control when it came to Tommy was little to none. She was in trouble.

"I'm sorry?" she said, hoping that her voice didn't betray her. Her body was still tingling from that brief contact and she was afraid that her voice would show it.

"You heard me. We have a lot to talk about, Jude."

She nodded and motioned towards the couch. "Okay. Have a seat. I'll be right back though. I'm going to go get my coffee that's in the kitchen. Did you want any?" He stared blankly, not offering any kind of response. "Tommy, hello?" she said as she snapped her fingers in front of his face. "Did you want any coffee or something to drink?"

He mutely shook his head and as she started for the kitchen, his voice stopped her. "You're not going to fight me on this?"

"Tommy, I promised you if you could find me that I would talk to you. Like you said—you found me. And besides that, we should definitely talk, anyway."

She ignored the shocked, perplexed look on his devastatingly handsome features and went into the kitchen. While she was nervous that he was here, she was happy. They had a lot of talking to do and she was glad that Tommy had found her, after all.

When she arrived in the kitchen, she was surprised to see Johnny gone. When did he leave? And where did he go?

She glanced around the room and couldn't believe she hadn't even seen or heard him leave.

Sighing in frustration, she picked up her coffee mug and proceeded back to the living room to find Tommy sitting in the armchair with his leg bouncing up and down in a hurried motion. He was rubbing his hands together and he looked as though his mind was a million miles away. Clearly, he was nervous.

"Tommy, are you okay?"

His movements suddenly stopped and when she looked into his eyes, she found raw, unabashed anger and hurt staring right back at her. "Am I okay?" He let out a bitter laugh and started nodding, though Jude could guess that was meant to be sarcastic as well. "Oh yeah, Jude. I've never been better. I'm great. See I have every reason in the world to be nothing but fabulous right now because you know why?" She backed up slightly, suddenly nervous as his voice began rising towards the end. He was making her a little bit apprehensive, especially when he got up from the couch and started walking towards her.

"No? You don't? Well, you see, my week started out great. Perfect life—perfect job, perfect girlfriend, we're both in love, right? Only now, I'm beginning to wonder if maybe she doesn't love me as much as she claimed to have," he said bluntly. "So yeah, I'm fucking great."

Jude openly gaped at him and felt her own ire rising. Who was he to come in here and yell at her like this? He was the one that lied; he was the one that screwed everything up, so why on Earth was he getting angry with _her_?

"Excuse me? Are you even serious right now?"

"Oh I've never been more serious in my life. You know something? I was prepared to come out here and grovel. I knew you were here all along—call it good old fashioned, gut instincts. But I figured you might need some time to yourself to deal and figure out how to process this, so that's why I didn't immediately follow you out here.

"And then as the days passed and I started thinking about it more and more, the angrier I became and then I began to question you—to question us."

"And how's that?" she asked, confused.

"Because. You're not supposed to only love someone just when it's convenient."

"What does that mean?"

"I needed you!" he shouted angrily. "I needed you and you were nowhere to be found! You left me! Just like _her_," he said with a sneer. "You didn't trust me—just like Angie didn't trust me enough."

"Don't compare me to her," she said through clenched teeth. "I'm nothing like her."

"Oh no? She ran when things got rough and what did you do? Oh that's right—you ran," he pointed out.

"You lied to me! I had just found out you had a wife that you didn't bother telling me about and I was devastated! What was I supposed to do?"

"You were supposed to stay! We were supposed to work through it and try to move forward. You were supposed to be different!"

She was getting ready to shout back an angry retort at him when she saw tears welling in his eyes. That stopped her dead in her tracks. Honestly, when Sadie had told her that Tommy was crying, she had thought her big sister was exaggerating. Granted, he wasn't bawling his eyes out or anything, but as that single tear fell down his cheek, she couldn't help herself.

All of her anger was forgotten and she immediately went to him, wrapping his arms around him tightly. He quickly returned the embrace and she found herself uttering incoherent ramblings of 'I'm sorry's' and 'I missed you's'.

After a long reunion in each others' arms, she reluctantly pulled back and saw that his eyes still contained those puffy red rims that she was unused to seeing on him. "Tommy, what happened?"

He drew in a shaky breath and tried to compose himself. "A lot," he croaked.

A thought suddenly dawned on her. She didn't know much about Angie, but from what Jude could gather from their very brief conversation before she flew out here to LA, he clearly had no idea why Angie had left him high and dry the way she had. Maybe that had changed. "Did you find out why Angie left?" she inquired nervously.

He nodded slowly, and she could tell that as his eyes met hers that he was harboring a lot of pain because of it. "Well why?" she prodded.

Reluctance clouded his features and he looked uncomfortable and even more nervous than before. "You might not want to hear it," he stated truthfully. "Just tell me you don't want to know. Please."

"I can't do that."

"Say it. Please. Tell me you don't want to know; tell me you don't _need_ to know," he begged.

"Tommy, you're kind of scaring me a little," she said quietly.

"Just say it." When she didn't say anything, he continued on his mad ramblings. "Jude, say it. Say you don't want this."

She shook her head slowly and could feel her heart already beginning to break. Instinctually, in the deepest crevice of her heart, she knew. There was only one possible thing that she could think of that would make him act this way. Just one. But she needed to hear him say it—as much as she didn't want to hear her suspicions confirmed. "Tell me," she whispered.

His eyes were torn and there was nothing but raw pain and regret.

"I'm so sorry," he said as another tear fell.

"Tell me."

"Jude… she was pregnant. I'm a father."


	29. Chapter 28

New update!

As always, big thank you to the readers/reviewers! I appreciate all the lovin' and I'm so happy to see interested hasn't faded in this story. I really do love writing this and I'm excited to write out some future chapters for it. Hopefully I'll get some more written out soon.

Until I do, here's some more of this story to tide you all over! Enjoy!

And as always, comments are love.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Instant Star!

* * *

**Chapter 28**

Tommy felt his heart shatter bit by bit as he saw a single tear streaming down Jude's face.

He hated that she was going through this pain that he was causing her; it seemed like that was all he ever did was cause her pain. He knew he didn't deserve her, but at the moment, he just couldn't seem to bring himself to walk away. He was selfish and he knew that and surprisingly, as long as it meant that eventually he would win her back somehow, he was okay with being selfish.

When he moved to pull her into his arms, he was surprised to find that she didn't reject him like he thought she was going to. She simply embraced him equally as much and buried her head in the crook of his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

She said nothing and it made him slightly nervous. He didn't know what to make of it. But at the same time, she made no move to shrug out of his grasp, and he wasn't about to let this good feeling go.

Neither one apparently willing to move, they simply stayed that way until Jude moved first quite some time later.

Surprisingly, her eyes were not red or puffy as he had expected them to be and he could feel no wet spot on his shirt from where her tears should have been. She was completely dry-eyed. She just looked a little tired.

"Come sit down," she said hoarsely. "We should talk."

Suddenly, his nerves went into overdrive. He couldn't really gauge any meaning from the tone of her voice and he was on full alert.

When he didn't move, she grabbed him by the hand and slowly led him to the couch. She turned to face him and before she could say anything, he started talking. He was too scared to give her a chance to say anything. "I swear I didn't know," he blurted out. "Please believe me. I would have told you about something like that."

She smiled softly and surprise reverberated through him when she linked her fingers through his. "I do believe you. It's okay, Tommy."

"I don't understand. I thought..."

"You thought I'd react worse than I did when I found out about Angie?" she offered.

"Well... yeah," he admitted. "I'm a little confused."

She sighed and tilted her head to the side. "Tommy, this was your past. It's not like this is something that happened recently. And you had no control over this. She kept this from you." She drew in a deep breath and squeezed his hand even tighter. "While I've been away, I've realized something. It's something I didn't want to realize, but I just…"

"What?"

"As upset as I was when I left—which I still am, by the way—I realized recently that I'm not strong enough to stay away from you, Tommy. I need you," she said almost inaudibly.

Relief burst through every cell in his entire body. He couldn't ever remember feeling this grateful and, well, _happy_ in his life.

He took a chance and grabbed either side of her face, pulling her lips to his in a soul-searing kiss. She didn't hesitate at all; she kissed him back with equal fervor and gripped the front of his shirt in her fists.

He felt her body shift and his body automatically accommodated hers as she moved to straddle his lap. She pulled back just enough to where she could place her lips next to his ear. She whispered, "I want you. Now."

His body jolted with excitement at her demand and he was more than happy to oblige as he gripped her thighs and stood up from the couch. "Bedroom?"

"Down the hall on the right," she said as she was placing open-mouthed kisses along his neck.

Somehow, their mouths reconnected and he wasn't even sure how he navigated him through the hall. But eventually they made it to the bedroom she was staying in and he quickly shut the door behind them. Once the door closed, he spun them around and pushed her against it, never once breaking contact with her.

His body shivered when she slipped her hands underneath the hem of his shirt and he quickly pulled it up over his head as she did the same with her own shirt. After she stripped herself of her jeans, he made quick work of taking his undershirt off and unbuckling his own pants.

He watched with careful eyes as Jude eyed the clothes that were scattered all over the floor. He wished he knew what she was thinking because her eyes were sparkling with something that he couldn't quite place. It was almost like she wanted to tell him something.

"What is it?" he asked in a shaky breath.

She looked back up at him and gave him a small smile and shook her head. "Nothing."

To solidify her assertion that nothing was wrong, she quickly reconnected their lips and while he would have pulled back to question her again, his mind stopped working as her hands started traveling underneath the waistband of his boxers. He could only follow her as she drew them back towards the bed.

Clearly she wanted this just as much as he did; who was he to question it?

* * *

Tommy tightened his grip on Jude as they lay in bed together, still breathing heavy after their second round. It seemed as though neither one of them could get enough of the other, and that was just fine with him. He knew that they were both just putting off the inevitable conversation that was bound to come, but he did what he came to do. He told her the truth and he was so happy that she didn't run off on him again. Listening to her slightly unsteady breathing caused him to smile and he placed a kiss on the top of her forehead.

"I love you," he whispered.

She looked up at him with her big blue-green eyes and smiled widely. "I know. I love you, too, Tommy." He mirrored her smile but looked away from her. As happy as he was that she wasn't tossing him out on his ass after finding out that he was a father, he was still a little upset with her for leaving in the first place and hearing her tell him that she loved him made him remember how he felt when she left. "What?" she asked softly.

"Nothing," he said as he shook his head.

"Tommy... come on. You can tell me."

"I'm sorry. I guess I'm just still a little mad, that's all."

"Tommy—"

"Why? Why didn't you stay? Why did you have to run?"

She sighed and turned her head, but that didn't stop him from noticing guilt creeping up into her eyes. "I wasn't in a good place. I was hurt and angry and... and I was scared."

"Scared? What on earth were you afraid of?"

"You don't understand," she said sadly.

"Of course I don't. So explain it to me, please."

She bit her lip before she turned back around to face him again. "Tommy, when I found out the truth about Angie, it scared me because once I got over the initial hurt of being lied to all this time, I realized that I didn't care."

"I'm confused," he admitted.

"Okay, let me rephrase that. I cared that you lied to me. That hurt a lot. But the time apart really helped clear my head, Tommy. You've changed everything in my life. Don't you get it? When I was with Jamie, I was in a safe, stable relationship. It's what nearly every girl hopes for in life. And then you came back into the picture and I was willing to toss aside values and morals that I've had since I was sixteen years old. Knowing that my father cheated and was willing to chance throwing his family away for some affair like that, well... it made me realize that I didn't ever want to be like that. Not ever.

"But then when you showed up again, it wasn't long before everything I believed in and knew for a fact was wrong was challenged. For me, cheating was wrong. It was a black and white thing. When my dad cheated on my mother, I was so hurt by it and it really just opened my eyes to a lot of things.

"So when you came back into the picture, everything was different. Suddenly, it wasn't so black and white anymore. It's why I was all over the place all that time. I was just feeling… everything. I had cheated on my boyfriend with you, even if it was just a kiss. It's just that the crazy thing for me was that there was nothing stable about our relationship, nothing solid. And I didn't care. Honestly, I wanted to be with you—that's why I was pushing you away so hard because I was still with Jamie. And then after Jamie, I was pushing you away because my feelings for you were too strong for my liking.

"So when I found out about Angie and I realized that this wasn't enough to make me want to leave you, I ran because I was scared that I was changing into something I promised myself I wouldn't ever become."

He turned his head away, unable to hide the pain and shock in his eyes at her words. Had he really done that to her? Had he ruined her, just like he always feared he would?

He tried to keep his head turned away, but she grabbed his face and gently turned it back. But he still wasn't ready for her to see that, so he shut his eyes, still refusing to look at her. "Tommy," she coaxed. "Tommy."

Reluctantly, he opened his eyes and found soft, gentle ones staring right back at him. She was smiling.

"Tommy, I'm fine and I'm finally at peace with everything. Please understand that. You didn't force me to change, okay?"

"But I did," he argued. "You just said it yourself. You've become something you never wanted to be."

"Stop, all right? Just stop this pity-party because I'm not going to be a part of it. Look, shit happens. People change, ideals change and it's not always a bad thing. But you need to stop with this self-loathing routine, because it's kind of a turn-off," she said with a smirk. He couldn't help but laugh at her and he pulled her in closer to him. "I think we both need to grow up," she said after a few minutes of quiet had passed. "We need to stop dealing with stuff the way we're used to because truthfully—our way sucks."

He laughed and nodded, definitely agreeing with her. He rested his chin on the top of her head and smiled. "Our way does suck. No more running?"

"No more running," she agreed. "So about this baby…"

"Yeah, there it is. I was wondering how long it would take you to ask questions. What do you want to know, Jude?"

"Everything that you know. Anything that you're willing to tell me."

He sighed and shifted slightly. "I don't know much and that's the honest to goodness truth. I promise. All I know is that she named him Isaac and put him up for adoption before he was even born. She gave me what information she could, and truthfully, it wasn't a lot. Basically, once she watched the couple walk away with Isaac in the hospital, that was the last she saw of him."

"But how did she keep this from you? Don't both parents have to sign…?"

"She forged my signature, Jude. It's not that hard to imagine. People forge signatures all the time."

As he stared down at her, she bit her lip, and nodded. "Yeah, it just sucks. I'm sorry that she kept this from you. That wasn't fair."

He shut his eyes and turned completely on his back. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all. But maybe this was just some form of cruel karma. After all the things he's done in his life, it only seemed right that he got some kind of payback.

"Maybe…"

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe I deserved it," he whispered.

If he had been looking, he was almost certain that Jude's mouth would be hanging wide open, gaping at him. It almost caused him to smile a little. "Why on earth would you say that?"

He lifted himself into a half-sitting position and rested against the headboard. "Jude, I'm not a good person. I've never been a good person. I don't know how to be. Maybe this was some kind of cosmic justice or something. Who knows?"

"Okay crazy person. What is all of this talk about not being a good person?"

He laughed and shook his head. "You've read the tabloids about me, haven't you? Half of what you read in that crap is probably true and the other half probably just got the facts mixed up."

"Honestly, I didn't keep up with the tabloids. Not really, anyway. And anyway, it doesn't matter what kind of person you were then. What matters is the person you've become and you know what? I kind of love the person you've become."

"You wouldn't be saying that if you knew half the shit I've pulled in the past."

"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't _care_ about your past? Not anymore."

"Well have you forgotten what I just did recently? You remember, the big fat lie that I kept from you?"

"Stop. None of that matters anymore. Besides, I'm not the best person in the world either."

Tommy's eyes flew open at that and he looked down to face her. She looked guilty. Immensely guilty. "Why would you say that? You're one of the best people I know."

"I'm not though. I'm selfish, I'm hypocritical, and…"

"What?"

"I haven't been exactly honest with you since you showed up," she said as she looked down at the sheets.

"What do you mean?"

"You're gonna be really mad," she whispered.

A sick feeling bubbled up in the pit of his stomach. He had a feeling he already knew what she was about to tell him. "Tell me."

Her eyes shut and she took a deep breath. He was bracing himself for it. He was just going to have to get over it and find a way to look past it. "I… I almost had sex with Johnny."

He quirked an eyebrow and was still holding his breath. That really wasn't what he was expecting. In fact, it was the one thing that was stopping him from going into a crazy fit of jealous rage. Yeah, he was pissed right now, but he was flabbergasted more than anything. He was expecting for them to have actually gone through with it. Not "almost" go through with it. How can you "almost" have sex?

"Uh, what exactly do you mean here, Harrison? 'Almost'?"

She promptly looked away from and he noticed the flush in her cheeks. "This is kind of embarrassing," she muttered. He gave her a look that told her he wasn't going to stop pushing her until she spilled, and even though she wasn't looking at him, he knew that she could tell he was staring her down. She let out an annoyed sigh and he fought back a smirk. "Fine. We were fooling around," she said as her cheeks became as red as a cherry. "Oh God, I really hate you right now, Quincy."

"Tough shit, Harrison. There's no way I'm letting you out of this now."

"Okay, okay. We were in the middle of… stuff," she mumbled the last part and grabbed a pillow to hold it over her face. "I kind of blurted your name out." The words were muffled, but he heard. Loud and clear.

And he couldn't hold back the laughter. He just couldn't help it.

Somewhere in the middle of his boisterous laughter, Jude took the pillow off of her face only to whack him on the stomach with it, which only caused him to laugh harder. "You're seriously laughing right now?"

He didn't even attempt to talk as the laughter continued. This seemed to make the passionate blonde lying next to him angrier and she hit him with the pillow again and again, but when he tried to stop laughing, they locked eyes and she started chuckling with him. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her down next to him and she rested her head on his chest with her arm slung over his stomach.

The laughter finally died down and he rested his chin on the top of her forehead. "Sorry. I didn't mean to laugh at you."

"It's okay," she said as she traced imaginary circles on his abdomen. "It is kind of funny, actually."

He smiled and pulled her tighter against him, feeling better than he had in a while. Probably since he got that phone call from Angie.

Thinking about Angie darkened his mood a little. It sent a shiver of fear through him, too. That mess nearly cost him his relationship with Jude and he realized that she meant more to him than he thought possible. He didn't ever want to lose her again.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "So sorry, Jude."

"I know. Me, too. I… I didn't handle that well at all, Tommy. I acted like a child and I was selfish."

"You had a right to be. I probably would have acted the same way, worse even," he said honestly. "I should have told you the truth."

"It doesn't matter anymore. We can't go back and change it. I've forgiven you, so please stop punishing yourself."

They didn't say anything else; they just laid there, content to be in each others' arms.

"So are we okay?" he asked quietly.

She smiled at him and kissed him. "I think we are. I love you," she said as she kissed him again.

"Ditto, Harrison."

She glared at him and pursed her lips together. "Ditto?"

"Like wise?" he asked, holding back a smirk. He knew she hated the word 'ditto'. He was just saying it to get under her skin. But he wasn't expecting her to pinch him on the side. "Ow! Okay, okay. I love you, too. Just maybe not your fingers at the moment."

She gave him a sly grin and ran her index finger down the middle of his chest. "You love my fingers," she said suggestively.

When her fingers traveled further down, he shut his eyes and felt a shiver of pleasure run down his spine. "I take it back. I totally love your fingers right now."

She started laughing and he sat up, kissing her on the neck before rolling them over. He stared down at her and smiled as he brushed a piece of hair out of her face. Tommy pressed his forehead against hers and their noses brushed.

"I love you, Jude. Always," he whispered.

She smiled and kissed him.

He pulled back and gazed at her intently. "So you really almost slept with Johnny?"

"Ugh!" She rolled her eyes and flopped back on the bed again while Tommy, once again, propped himself up on his elbow.

"What? Come on, Jude. It's a guy thing. We tend to get a little territorial."

"You're seriously asking me about Johnny right now?"

"Seriously."

Jude frowned and sighed. "Yes. I really almost slept with Johnny. What, do you think I'd lie about that?"

"No, of course not. I guess I'm just still trying to process that another man's hands were all over you," he finished grumpily.

"But your hands," she said as she took a hold of them, "are the only ones that really matter. We didn't go through with it, remember?"

"I know, but—"

"And no, you can't kick his ass, Tommy."

"But I didn't say anything about kicking his ass," he replied with a frown. Though, he'd been thinking about it. Punching him was something that was highly tempting at the moment.

"You didn't need to. Just let it go, please? It's over and done and I can assure you, it's something that _won't_ happen again. Okay?" When he didn't say anything, she grew exasperated and grabbed his chin, turning his face to meet hers. "_Okay_?"

"Yeah. Okay," he said reluctantly.

He grudgingly smiled as she started nuzzling his neck and then started laughing when she whispered, "You're so easy, Quincy."

He pulled her in for another kiss and said against her lips, "Lucky for you." Seconds later, her tongue was sliding languorously against his lips and he opened his mouth, which she eagerly took advantage of. He grabbed her hand and linked their fingers together as they continued kissing. "I love you," he repeated once more.

She grinned and resumed the lip lock, intensifying things. When the need for air consumed them, he reluctantly pulled back. Jude smiled again and tightened the connection of their fingers. "I love you, too. Always," she whispered back.

Relief soared through him as he realized that maybe things were really okay. And he didn't ever want to forget this feeling.

* * *

**Brief AN:** Just so you all know, I wasn't a big fan of this chapter. I was undergoing a serious period of writer's block and had a very difficult time working through it. So I just wanted to apologize to you all if you thought it was craptastic and I totally wouldn't blame you for thinking that. I just hope it wasn't _too_ horrible.


	30. Chapter 29

Hello!

Sorry it's been longer than forever. I know, I suck huge.

But, I'm back-ish and I hope there are still readers following this. It's just so hard find Instant Star related inspiration lately. But believe me, I'm not giving up on this story. I promise, I'll do everything that I can to finish this. It may take me a while to get there, but it will happen eventually. I only wish I could promise faster updates.

Anyway, for those of you that might be interested, I'm currently working on a completely original project. I've started posting over at FictionPress if you'd like to check it out. My name over there is CynicalRomantic09 and the story is called The Beautiful Lie. I'm loving writing my own stuff, so if any of you do happen to check it out, I hope you enjoy it.

Now that that's out of the way, the ever important thanks to the reviewers and readers! I really, truly appreciate it. You have no idea. If you're still following the story, please let me know.

Okay, I think that about covers it. I really hope this update isn't a disappointment. I enjoyed writing this chapter, actually. Parts of it were pretty fun.

* * *

**Chapter 29**

Jude smiled as she looked over at Tommy while he was asleep. She didn't think she could be happier if she even tried. Things were finally out in the open and it felt really good to just be able to be with him like this. There were no secrets, no lies standing in the way. She didn't ever want their relationship to go back to the way it used to be.

While she was watching him sleep, she heard a noise coming from the kitchen and her ears perked up. Johnny must have finally gotten home from wherever he went.

She quietly crept out of bed, being extra careful not to wake Tommy. He'd looked exhausted when he got there yesterday and she could only imagine how draining everything had been for him.

Her shopping bags were sitting in the corner of the room and she quickly selected an outfit to change into. She really wanted to change into Tommy's shirt, but she supposed his bag was still in his rental car he'd gotten yesterday.

When she walked out into the kitchen, Johnny was making a pot of coffee and he smiled at her. "Morning. Or, I suppose for you, for once this could constitute as a 'good morning,' right?"

"Shut up," she mumbled. Johnny simply laughed at her obvious embarrassment and tossed her a package of Pop Tarts. "Thanks. Where'd you disappear to yesterday?" she asked as she popped a piece of the pastry into her mouth.

He shrugged and avoided her gaze. "Nowhere in particular. Just roamed for a bit."

Jude laughed as she broke off a piece of her food and tossed it at the back of his head. "Yeah right. You're a shitty liar, J. What's up?"

He sighed as he turned back around to face her. "Don't be mad."

She quirked a brow and felt somewhat confused at his request. "Why would I be mad? What'd you do?"

"I, uh, kind of went to see Angie."

Jude's eyes widened and she folded her arms. "What?!"

Johnny groaned and placed his head in his hands. "I told you not to get mad!"

"I'm not mad, I'm just surprised that's all. Isn't it kind of soon for you to be meeting up with her like everything's all hunky dory? It was just like three nights ago that you came back here completely skunked because of her."

He grimaced and crinkled his nose in distaste. "Don't remind me. I'm trying to forget that night ever happened, thanks very much."

"My point exactly. Is it wise to start spending time with her again so soon after everything?"

"I could say the same thing for you and lover boy who's still snoozing in the back room. And it's not like I even slept with Angie!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked hotly.

"It means that you were broken when you showed up on my doorstep and you've not even been with him for an entire day before you're jumping back into bed with him? Nice, Jude. Now _that's_ what I call smart," he said as he rolled his eyes.

"This is different!"

"Oh please! It is not! You and I are practically in the exact same situation. The only difference is I wasn't screwing Angie before I found out about everything," he said icily.

Jude felt the color drain from her face and she suddenly found herself very angry with the man standing right in front of her. She stood up from the barstool and grabbed her purse. The aching need to get away from him was overwhelming her and she knew she had to leave before she said something she'd regret.

She heard him sigh and quickly picked her pace to get away from him. The sound of that sigh meant he intended to come after her and she didn't want to be around him right then. In fact, his presence was the last thing she wanted.

Just as she neared the door, she felt a firm grip on her arm and she whipped her head in his direction to glare at him. "Let go of me."

"No," he said defiantly.

Instinct prodded her to try and yank her arm from his grip, but he wasn't budging. Good grief, why did he have to be stronger than he looked? A helpless feeling bubbled up inside of her and she grew angrier and angrier at the situation. It wasn't that she was afraid of him; it was just the fact that she had no control over this. He gave her a lazy, smug smirk as he obviously realized her predicament and she couldn't help but think how much he reminded her of Tommy. But even being reminded of Tommy did nothing for her temper at the moment. The anger didn't wane and she still wanted to be released. She moved to slap him with her free hand, but he easily caught it.

Frustration built and she let out an aggravated sigh. "Let go!"

"I'm not letting you go. So just please—stay away from the door and come back inside," he pleaded.

"No. I really don't like you right now and I need to be away from you."

"Well I won't let you run away. Not this time."

"What do you want from me?" she cried out angrily.

"I want to talk to you. I don't want you to run away because I said something you know I didn't mean." His eyes were soft and pleading. Despite herself, she felt her body go slack and cursed her weakness. He smiled at her and finally released both arms, but his left hand gently gripped her shoulder, while his right hand cupped the back of her head to bring her forehead to his. Her eyes fluttered shut at the gesture and she, being the weak girl that she was, moved to hug him.

Immediately, he returned the embrace and pulled her even closer towards him. "You know I didn't mean what I said, right?" he whispered.

"Why'd you say it, then?" she asked, unable to disguise the hurt in her voice.

"Because I'm a stupid man. Because I was angry that you were pointing out something I already knew. Because I was frustrated with the situation… take your pick, I guess," he said as he pulled away.

Jude stared up at him and bit her lip. "What happened? With Angie, I mean?"

A sigh escaped Johnny and he ran a hand through his hair. "Nothing. We just talked. I haven't really given her the time of day and I just… I couldn't help it. I missed her."

"You love her?" Jude asked quietly.

Johnny scoffed and waved off the question. "That's ridiculous. Of course I don't."

Knowing when she was being lied to, her eyes narrowed and she punched him in the shoulder. "Don't lie to me. You're in love with her aren't you? The truth this time, J."

He looked away from Jude and took in a deep breath before he nodded. Jude's eyes immediately filled with sympathy and she moved to hug him. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. He almost sounded ashamed, which astonished Jude.

"Why on earth would you be sorry about something like that?"

"I don't know. I guess it's just because ever since I found out what she did and how it effected your relationship with Tom, I've kind of felt like I'm betraying the both of you."

She smiled, despite herself. This was one of the things she loved most about Johnny. He was so fiercely loyal it was sometimes ridiculous. He barely knew Tommy, yet he felt obligated to him already.

"You aren't betraying anybody, Johnny. You can't help who you love."

"I know, but I just… I hate that she lied to me, you know? She seemed so good and kind and she was keeping this secret from me since day one. She was actually the one that convinced me to go see you when I went to go visit you," he added with a smile.

Jude couldn't help but feel some kind of shock. If that was true, she owed this woman a huge thank-you. "Really?"

"Yeah. She knocked some good sense into me and she just does not take crap from anybody. She's very determined. Honestly, she reminds me a little bit of you."

"And you're in love with her? Ew," she responded as she crinkled her nose.

"Hey, I said a 'little'! I didn't say her personality was your clone or anything."

"Whose personality?" Tommy asked as he rubbed some sleep out of his eyes.

Jude smirked and walked over to Tommy, who kissed her on top of the head. "Johnny's got a crush," she said in a sing-song voice.

Johnny groaned as Tommy raised an eyebrow. His eyes held nothing but interest for the current topic. "Really? Who is it? Anyone I know?"

Her best friend scowled fiercely at her and for the briefest of moments, she wondered if she shouldn't have said anything. But the way she saw it was that Johnny was in love with this woman. It wasn't merely a crush and she had a hard time believing that Tommy would have a problem with Johnny pursuing any kind of relationship with Angie, especially since he was divorced.

Johnny apparently, had different views on the matter. "See if I ever tell you anything again, nark."

"Sourpuss."

"Bean-spiller."

"Crab!"

"Big mouth!"

"Grouch—"

"Enough!" Tommy said as he rubbed his temples. Jude stuck out her tongue as she moved towards the kitchen and couldn't help but feel somewhat satisfied that she got the last word in. Another thing she was unable to stop was the huge smirk developing on her lips and she heard Johnny grumble. He most likely saw the grin.

"You do know that she's happy now that she's gotten the last word in, right? Thanks a lot," he said dully.

"I really don't care," Tommy replied grumpily. "I swear, you two could make a nun swear."

"Don't be so melodramatic, dear," Jude said sweetly as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

Johnny snickered and she heard Tommy punch him on the shoulder. Men were such babies sometimes, honestly. "Uh, _dear_? Since when do you call me 'dear'?"

Jude shrugged and turned to go back into the living room when her coffee was made. "Thought I'd test it out."

"And?" he asked with a kind of frightened look in his eyes.

"No worries," she said with a smirk. "Hated it."

"Oh, thank God," he said with unmistakable relief.

A mock look of hurt crossed Jude's features. "Don't try and contain your relief, or anything," she said sarcastically.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly while Johnny continued to grin uncontrollably. "It was just weird, that's all. That's something married couples say to each other. I don't think we qualify for the whole 'yes, dear' syndrome yet."

"You're lucky I agree, otherwise, that statement could have gotten you into a whole lot of trouble," she said as she took a sip of her coffee.

"As much as this conversation is amusing me, I'm afraid I need to get ready for work," Johnny said suddenly.

"But you haven't told me who the mystery girl is!" Tommy shouted as Johnny shut his bedroom door. "Damn. Nobody ever tells me anything around here," he mumbled. He grabbed her mug from her hands and took a sip; Jude could tell he wished he hadn't as he made a revolted face. "Ugh. That's disgusting. How can you drink that stuff?"

Jude laughed and started pouring Tommy a cup of his own coffee. "You're just jealous because you don't have the stomach for my awesome concoctions."

"Yeah, I'm real jealous, babe. And I'm fixing my own coffee," he added.

"Jerk."

* * *

Jude and Tommy were sitting around Johnny's studio, listening to one of her backing tracks. Johnny had Jude in his lap while Tommy was working the controls. She felt Johnny yawn against her back when the band's bassist, Chris, came into the room.

"Hey Chris! What's up?"

He glanced at the three of them, clearly confused. "Uh—you and Johnny are an item now?"

She smirked when she thought she heard a growl escape Tommy's throat and couldn't help but adore the fact that he was getting jealous. Jude shook her head as Johnny laughed at the question. "That's kind of gross, Chris. I may have to kick you out of my studio for that one."

"But you two are like all sitting in each other's lap and shit."

Jude echoed Johnny's laugh and nodded towards Tommy. "_That_ is my man-candy. Sorry," she said still laughing. She thought she saw a twitch playing at Tommy's lips, but she couldn't be sure.

Before she had time to ponder it any further, though, Chris crinkled his nose. "Ew. Please don't say that again."

"What? Man-candy?"

"Ugh! I'm leaving. This is too weird for my tastes. See you freaks later," Chris said with a grin.

"Don't call my girlfriend a freak, punk!" Tommy shouted in a teasing manner.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever parachute boy."

Jude started howling as Tommy turned in his seat and glared at Chris, his teasing manner now mysteriously gone. "You have about three seconds to get out of here," Tommy said.

Somehow through her laughter, she managed to hear Chris humming "Pick Up the Pieces," before breaking out into song and doing the dance moves. Tommy glared at Johnny when he joined in, and then at Jude, who was too busy laughing to be able to sing.

Seconds later, the ex-badass playboy was out of his seat, chasing Chris out of the studio. Though, to Chris's credit, he was still singing that song at the top of his lungs as he ran out the door.

"Oh my God," she said through fits of laughter. "I love that kid!"

"He's got balls, that's for sure," Johnny said with a grin. "I don't think any of his other band members would be quite brave enough to take on the likes of Tom Quincy."

"Pussies," Jude said with a chuckle.

"More like smart, I'm thinking."

"Don't tell me you're afraid of Quincy?" she asked with a quirked eyebrow.

Johnny laughed again and shook his head. "Hell no. I could definitely hold my own against him. But those kids have a right to be afraid."

"I guess you're right," she said, feeling lighter than she had in weeks. She couldn't believe how easy things seemed to transition once she and Tommy had gotten over their fear of simple communication. _Speaking of_, she thought randomly. "So, have you spoken to your lady friend since you've been here?"

"Nope."

"Why not?" she asked with a small frown. "Don't you want to?"

"Of course I want to. I just wanted to talk to your boyfriend about it first."

Jude rolled her eyes. "Oh come on. It's not like you need his permission to date her or anything. They're divorced now!"

"Aw, you're cute, babe," he said as he tapped her on the nose.

"Why did that sound so condescending?"

"Because it was. Look, I can't just go after her on a whim. I need to talk to him first. It's a guy code."

Jude raised both of her eyebrows and stared at him. "Where was the so-called guy code when we got it on?"

"Ick Jude, come on. Vault please."

"Aw, you're cute, babe," she mocked.

"Vault," he said stubbornly. "It's not like it was bad. It was far from bad, but it's just weird and awkward and it's something that should never be spoken of again. Ever."

She couldn't help the guilty look that crossed her features. She hoped he wouldn't be mad. "Um… oopsie?"

"Ah, damn it, Jude! You told Tom?"

"What? We had a whole truth-telling session thing yesterday."

"Truth-telling session?"

Jude nodded and smiled as she remembered the conversation. "Yep. He told me quite a bit of his secrets. We cleared the air and I felt like I had to tell him about what happened."

Johnny smirked and slapped the side of her thigh. "Well thanks."

"For what?" she asked as she furrowed her brow together.

"I can assume you put the leash on your boyfriend. Otherwise, he probably would have kicked my butt. Or tried to, anyway."

Jude rolled her eyes and got off of his lap. "This whole, 'I could take Quincy' thing is getting kind of annoying. You're both acting like two dogs that pissed on each others' territory."

"Charming analogy."

"Well, it's true."

Johnny was getting ready to retort when Chris came barreling back into the studio with a huge grin on his face. He turned to Jude and said, "Your boyfriend is psychotic."

"What'd he do?"

He started laughing and leaned against the side of the door. "He did this really bizarre headlock thing that kind of cut off my air supply for a second or two, which basically had me at his mercy. It was kind of awesome."

Johnny quirked a brow as he turned towards Chris. "And you called _us_ freaks?"

"You guys _are_ freaks. I mean seriously, what boyfriend doesn't care that his girl is sitting on some other guy's lap? I'm sorry, but that's freak-like."

"And thinking that being put in a headlock to where you can't breathe is cool isn't freak-like?" he inquired, clearly intrigued.

"Correct. And for two reasons. First reason being is that I knew he wouldn't actually do any damage to me. He was simply trying to prove a point. Second reason—now I have somebody to teach me how to do that! I finally have a maneuver to use on Aiden when he's trying to steal my bongos," he said with a grin as he left.

Jude looked at Johnny and smiled. "He has bongos?"

"Yep. I've seen 'em with my very own eyes."

She laughed and started heading towards the door. "That is so cool. Chris! Wait up!"

* * *

Johnny and Tommy were out grabbing lunch to bring back to the studio, which, unfortunately, left Jude all by herself. She was bored and wasn't feeling very inspired, so she didn't want to write any songs.

She let out a sigh and frowned when she saw Tommy's jacket laying over the chair. "That's weird," she mumbled to herself. "He never goes anywhere without this thing."

She picked it up and her frown deepened when a slip of paper fell out of one of the pockets. Jude bent down to pick up the paper to put it back into its proper place when she noticed that it was an address. "Susan Cook, Phoenix Arizona."

"That would be his son's adoptive mother," a voice said out of nowhere.

Jude spun around to find herself face-to-face with Angie. She was giving Jude a small smile and looked very hesitant. "Can I come in?"

She wasn't quite sure how to feel or be around this woman. It was all very new territory for her and while the old Jude would have snubbed her request, the new Jude was telling her to give Angie a chance, especially considering how Johnny felt about her. After all, if he loved her, she couldn't be that bad, right? Plus, she seemed pretty nice when she met her at G-Major; she couldn't really hold the fact that she'd dropped that huge bombshell on her against her.

Shifting her weight, she finally nodded. "Of course," Jude said nervously.

Angie smiled and nodded towards the jacket. "I'm surprised you're holding that. Tom never goes anywhere without it."

"I know. It's like a form of oxygen or something."

"That's definitely the truth," the brunette said with a small laugh. "I remember one time we decided to go on a weekend getaway and we were over halfway to the cabin and Tom realized he forgot that jacket and he went into a panic. He made a u-turn and when I asked him what he was doing, he told me he was going to get his jacket."

"You're kidding, right?"

She shook her head with her smile still in place. "I wish I could say I was making that up. To make it an even better story, we were nearly out of gas anyway, and there were no gas stations around. We got stranded in the middle of nowhere and he had to walk about three miles to get to a convenient store we'd passed to get help. I was so mad at him by the time we got back to the house that we ended up not going."

"Ouch."

"He slept on the couch for the rest of the weekend."

"Nice," she said with a smile of her own. "Serves him right."

"That's what I said, but he fought me to the death on it."

Angie folded her arms as she sat down on one of the chairs beside of the soundboard. An awkward moment of silence passed between them and Jude really wished she had the guts to say something. Usually, she had no problem talking; in fact, when she was nervous, she normally couldn't shut up. But there was something about Angie that made her feel inferior. She hadn't known her for very long, but this woman just gave off the air of sophistication and grace and kindness. She still couldn't understand why Tommy would want her when he had someone like that.

Finally, Angie cleared her throat and glanced up at Jude. "Look, I wanted to talk to you about some things. I know I'm probably not your favorite person right now—"

Jude shook her head. "That's not true. I don't really know you," she pointed out.

"And I think that's the problem. I wanted to apologize for blurting out that Tom was my husband. I really don't know what I was thinking. It's just I didn't recognize you at all and when I did recognize you, it was already too late."

Despite herself, she smiled. "I should actually be thanking you for that."

"What?" Angie asked, perplexed.

"Come on, let's be honest here. If you hadn't 'blurted out' that you were my boyfriend's wife, you and I both know that Tommy more than probably wouldn't have told me. It's true—I wasn't happy about it at first. It hurt. A lot. But now that I've had time to cool off and think about it, I've realized that I wouldn't have it any other way. Tommy and I are in a good place right now, and I think we have you to thank for that."

"Oh," she said with a look of surprise. "I guess I should have a big mouth more often then."

Jude laughed and sat down across from Angie. "You'd be surprised. You and I actually have that in common. I can't keep a secret to save my life."

"So… you don't completely hate me, then?"

"No, no. Of course not. I wanted to. Believe me, I definitely wanted to. On the contrary, I've decided that I'd actually like to get to know you a little better."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Maybe you could show me some cool shopping places here in LA so I know where to bring my sister? She's a shoppaholic."

Angie laughed and nodded her head. "I must confess to being one of those myself. It really is a rather serious condition."

"So I've been told," Jude said with a smirk.

"And I would love to take you shopping. How 'bout tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow's great. I'll see if I can talk Tommy into staying a little while longer. L.A. is awesome."

"That it is. Look, there's something else I kind of wanted to talk to you about."

"Let me guess. Johnny?"

Angie didn't bother hiding her surprise and her face actually turned a faint shade of Red. "He told you?"

"Yep. And if I'm being honest, that's kind of one of the reasons I want to get to know you. Johnny's a good guy and he has a pretty decent judge of character. He's had nothing but good things to say about you, so I'd really like to see for myself just how 'amazing' you are," she said with a smirk.

Jude's eyes narrowed when Angie's face flushed with obvious guilt. "What?"

"It's nothing."

"Angie? What is it?" she prodded.

The other girl sighed and bit her lip as she looked away from Jude. "It's just that I feel so guilty for lying to him. What I did to him—it wasn't fair. But I didn't know if I could trust him or not yet," she said quietly. "That's stupid, right? He's one of the last people in the world I have to worry about distrusting."

"But you didn't know that at the time," Jude argued. "I had a few secrets of my own that I kept from Tommy before we realized secrets weren't good. I was too scared to tell him everything and bare my soul to him because I was afraid of him. Not physically—"

Angie laughed with a surprising touch of bitterness. "I'm the last person you have to explain that to. I understand perfectly."

"Oh, right."

"I was in the same boat you were when I made my decision about Isaac," Jude stiffened at the mention of their little boy. She wanted to tell Angie that was nowhere near the same thing, but she bit her tongue. "Let me explain, please. It was a horrible thing to do, but honestly, if I could go back in time—I don't think I would change it. I was afraid of Tommy. Not physically, but at the time, I didn't know how he'd react. He was selfish back then and I couldn't even process the idea of telling him he was going to be a father. I know it was a mistake now, which is why I told him in the first place. But back then, he scared me, Jude. I was trying to do what was right for my son."

Jude bit her lip and took in Angie's speech. What would she have done had she been in this woman's position. She was going to be a mother one day, that much she was certain of. She couldn't imagine going through life with no children of her own. But would she have followed Angie's path of deceptiveness?

"Can you tell me a little more about what happened?" At the pained look on Angie's face, Jude immediately felt horrible for even suggesting such a thing and got up out of her seat to leave. "It's okay, you don't have to," she said quickly. "It was stupid of me to ask."

"Jude," she said quietly as she placed a hand over Jude's to stop her. "It's fine. I can do my best to explain things to you."

"Okay."

She sat back down and waited for Angie to start her story.

Angie took a deep breath and rubbed the back of her neck before she finally began. "It was about three years ago when I found out I was pregnant. Tommy and I had just gotten married about two months before and we were rapidly coming out of our honeymoon phase.

"It frightened me how withdrawn he was becoming. He was staying out with his friends, drinking heavily. Sometimes he wouldn't come home for days at a time. I was afraid I was losing him, but I'm not the confrontational type. Not really, anyway.

"Any time I would get angry with him, he would always find a way to reel me back in and make me forget I was pissed off. Then, for some reason, he stopped going out for a brief period of time. He was home more, he was affectionate and loving. He was the Tommy I remembered falling in love with."

Jude sucked in a breath at how similar that sounded when she and Tommy had first gotten together. Minus the going out and partying bit. She remembered how withdrawn he'd become, how cold and uncaring. It was like he'd been a different person and she didn't ever want to have to cross paths with him again. She could sympathize with Angie if she had to deal with it as long as she claimed to have dealt with it.

"Then what happened?" Jude whispered.

"Then I found out I was pregnant. I was elated and it couldn't have happened at a better time, either. Tommy was around more and more and I couldn't wait to tell him because we had started having talks about our future together. He had everything planned out to the letter and he promised me the world.

"But then reality reared its ugly head," she said bitterly. "We were having one of those special 'talks' and when I brought up children he flat out laughed at me. He said there was no possible way he could ever picture himself being a father, especially not in the near future. He said kids were too needy," she said with disgust. "Then he started mocking some of my friends that did happen to have children. One day we'd gone over to a mutual friend's house and when I watched him completely ignore their kid, it had pushed me over the edge.

"I kept seeing all of these scenarios where that kid had been _our_ kid and it brought me to tears. I couldn't take the chance of proving all of my fears right, so I left. I packed my bags, had my name changed and hid from Tommy until now.

"I knew eventually I would have to face him anyway because I started recording again. Music was my first love and I'd given up to take care of getting my son to a safe home. After the adoption process was complete, I wanted to stay in hiding for just a little while longer. Honestly, I'm surprised I lasted as long as I did.

"So I moved here and got accepted to RipTide almost immediately. I started out with one producer that I absolutely hated and nearly rethought my position in the industry. And then Johnny came along…"

She bit her lip and looked at Jude with pleading eyes. "I'm not a bad person Jude. I know it was horrible that I kept Tommy's kid from him and lied to him, but I was doing what I thought was right."

Jude sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Does Johnny know about Isaac?"

Angie nodded. "I told him everything a few days ago. Yesterday was the first time he's talked to me since. And I asked him not to tell you about Isaac because I knew that Tommy was going to tell you. I didn't think it would be right—"

"Angie, it's okay," she interrupted. "I'm not mad. It wasn't Johnny's secret to tell."

"Good. I'm glad."

Jude nodded and smiled weakly at Angie. "I'll try talking to Tommy for you if you want. I don't know if I would have done the same thing, but I can understand where you were coming from. That had to be a scary situation to be in."

"It was. I hated it. That was the only thing I've ever lied about in my entire life, believe or not. Leave it to me to have my one lie be a doozie like that."

"We all have our secrets, Angie," Jude said quietly. "You were doing what you thought was right."

Angie studied Jude and it made her slightly uncomfortable. Then she smiled and nodded as she leaned back in her chair. "That's true. We all have our skeletons." She paused to stretch and then glanced back at Jude again. "That address… you should talk to Tommy about it."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I know Tom. He's not going to go by himself. He's too scared, Jude."

"I don't know what to do, though."

"Just convince him to go. He'll listen to you."

"I don't know, Angie. Shouldn't this be something between you and him? I mean I'm just the girlfriend in all of this."

The brunette girl laughed at that and she shook her head in amusement. "Oh that couldn't be further from the truth. Tommy is head over heels in love with you." She said it with such conviction and Jude couldn't help the flush in her cheeks. "I think what you two have is real. What he and I had was a fantasy. Just talk to him. He might be more receptive if the idea is coming from you."

Jude sighed again before she finally nodded. "I'll see what I can do."

Angie smiled and Jude found herself actually liking Angie now that she's had a chance to talk to her. "Thank you. He deserves a chance to see his son."

"And what about you?" Jude asked timidly.

Angie's smile faded and sadness overtook her features. "I had my chance. I gave it up."

"Angie—"

"I'd rather not talk about this, please."

"Okay," Jude said as she bit her lip.

Thankfully, though, Johnny and Tommy both walked in with fast food bags at that exact moment. She smiled widely and couldn't believe how dorky she felt because Tommy was back. She immediately left her chair to greet Tommy with a kiss on the cheek and he smiled back at her.

"Jr. bacon cheeseburger. No pickle," he said as he rested his forehead against hers.

She grabbed the bag and kissed him again. "You, sir, are a god in my eyes right now. Thank you."

"Well I think I should go on cheeseburger runs more often if I'm going to get that kind of reception," he said with a smirk.

"Ugh," Johnny groaned. "I think I lost my appetite with that disgusting display."

Angie grinned and when Jude saw Tommy look towards her direction, she noticed how stiff he became. Johnny and Jude exchanged wary glances as the tension in the room grew to be so thick that a sword couldn't cut through it. "Ang," he said with a curt nod.

She sighed and gave a small, pathetic smile that made Jude's heart break for her. "Tom."

The four of them stood around in the studio, clutching their individual bags and Angie quickly cleared her throat. "I think I'm going to go eat in hospitality. Thanks for the burger, Johnny."

"Angie—" Jude called after her, but she was already long gone.

She turned and glared at Tommy before promptly smacking him in the back of the head and his free hand when to rub the spot she had hit. "Jesus, what was that for?"

Jude shook her head before brushing past Tommy. "I think I'm going to go eat in hospitality, too."

And as she was walking a way, she could almost see the perplexed look Tommy was giving to Johnny right then because he predictably said, "Did I miss something?"

When Jude arrived over to the label's enormous hospitality center, she found Angie sitting on a barstool poking at her burger, looking rather sad.

"Hey," Jude said with what she hoped looked to be an encouraging smile. "Is this seat taken?"

Tears pooled in Angie's eyes as she shook her head. "No," she managed.

Jude looked down at the floor as she set her bag down on the counter. It wasn't as though she had done anything wrong, but she felt terrible for Angie. She couldn't say that Tommy didn't have a right to treat her that way because she had no idea what Tommy was feeling or thinking. She only knew what he told her.

"I'll talk to Tommy."

"Thanks," she said, giving Jude a watery smile.

The smell of her food wafted up towards her nostrils and she felt her stomach growl, well, more like heard it, and Angie must have too because she heard a choked laughter escape from Angie's throat. "Sorry," Jude said sheepishly. "I haven't eaten anything since this morning."

"It's perfectly all right. Go ahead and eat."

"Only if you eat with me. I have this thing where I can't eat in front of somebody else that's _not_ eating. I guess it's a self-conscious thing."

"I'm not really that hungry," Angie said quietly.

"Well then I'm not either," Jude said stubbornly. But her words were swallowed by the next stomach growl. "Shut up, you," she whispered. "You're killing my argument, here."

Angie let out a genuine laugh. "Okay, you talked me into eating," she said as she actually picked up her burger.

"Oh thank God. I'm starving," Jude said as she grabbed her burger and tore the foil open. A comfortable silence passed between them and Jude smirked when she saw Chris across the lobby goofing off with his band. She looked at Angie before she took a bite of her burger and said, "Did you know Chris has bongos?"

"For real?" she asked as her eyes lit up. "Does he have them here?"

"No," Jude said with a smile. "But I made him promise to bring them in tomorrow."

"How'd you do that?"

She chuckled while she took a sip of her drink. "I threatened to sic my boyfriend on him."

"Sneaky woman," Angie replied with a grin of her own.

They continued eating silence when Angie looked at Jude and smiled. "Jude?"

"Yeah," she said while popping a fry into her mouth.

"Thanks."


	31. Chapter 30

This is the last chapter I have written out for now. I'm going to try and work on it some more, but just as a head's up, this could be the last update for a while. As I mentioned in my last chapter upload, I'm having a difficult time hanging onto my Instant Star inspiration and it's making it increasingly more complicated to write for this. But, as I said before, I promise to try my best.

I understand if interest has waned in the story, it's really no big surprise, considering how sporadic my updates are. So I want to thank those of you that are still keeping up with the story. It means a lot. If you are still reading it and have just been silent for a while, please comment if you have the time. Feedback, even if it's only a sentence, helps more than you know. It encourages the writer to keep writing and I could definitely use that with this right about now.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 30**

Jude smiled when she saw Tommy sitting on Johnny's couch, flipping through channels. He was irritated. She'd come to figure out that whenever something was bugging him, he'd flip endlessly through every single TV station available and then start all over again.

Plus, he was doing his squinty thing with his eyebrows. So she could only guess that he was more than a little irritated right now.

"What's going on, babe?"

"What do you mean? I'm just watching… nothing," he trailed off.

She walked over to the couch and curled up next to him. He quickly accommodated for her presence and kissed the top of her head as he put his arm around her.

"You're mad at me, aren't you?" he asked.

Jude sighed and started fiddling with the material of his shirt. "I'm not mad at you. I have no idea what you're going through right now, so I can't possibly judge you."

"Gee, thanks."

"But I will say that if you think you're the only one that's hurting over Isaac," she felt him tense, but she pushed on, "you're wrong. You couldn't be more wrong if you tried."

"She's the one who went behind my back," he said through his teeth. "You're really going to take her side on this?"

"I'm not taking sides. I'm just saying that I talked to her yesterday."

"Of course you did," he mumbled.

"I'm ignoring that. Tommy… I'm not saying I agree with her actions. Of course I don't. But I can tell you that she was scared. Scared to death and she thought she was doing what was right."

"How the hell is hiding my son from me the right thing to do?" he exclaimed.

The answer to that question evaded her. She honestly didn't know if she would have done the same thing had she been in Angie's situation. Maybe she would have hid her child from him, but she didn't know if she'd go as far as arranging an illegal adoption. She didn't know if she'd have been able to pull that off.

But if she had been the scared girl that Angie was, she probably would have tried to protect her child for as long as she could.

"I'm not saying it was the right thing to do. Look, I'm not the person you should be having this conversation with and you know it. You should talk to her."

"No," he said firmly.

"Tommy—"

"No! I won't talk to her about this. She gave me all the information I needed and now, I have nothing to say to her."

Jude looked over at a picture of Johnny and Angie and couldn't help he smile that was forming. "Well talk to her, don't talk to her. I don't really care."

Tommy frowned as he pulled her up out of her comfortable position to look at her. He peered down at her and looked puzzled. "You don't?"

She shook her head as she stood up. "Nope. I don't. But you have to get used to her either way."

"Why the hell's that?"

"Well for one, Johnny likes her, as I'm sure he talked to you about already."

"He has. But that has nothing to do with me. They'll be here. We'll be in Toronto. Problem solved."

"Not quite."

"Jude?"

"Johnny and I talked last night."

"About what?"

Jude shrugged and was trying desperately not to laugh at the look on his face. Everything she was about to tell him was true, but she kind of wished Johnny was here to witness his reaction.

"He misses me. He's thinking about moving back to Toronto. He only signed a year contract with RipTide as a trial basis. His year's almost up and he honestly likes G-Major better."

"But what's that have to do with Angie?"

Now she did laugh. "You honestly think that if Johnny moves back to Toronto that Angie is going to stay here? I doubt it. No, I'm pretty sure that if he moves, so does she."

"But she's under contract! She can't," he stated. He said it in a 'so there,' kind of tone and looked at Jude as though he were daring her to argue with that.

"Contracts can be broken, genius. If Angie wants to leave bad enough, I'm sure she'll figure out a way to get out of contract with RipTide, even if that means making crappy music so they'll let her go."

He thought about that and his frown deepened. "Well so what? Even if she does manage to get out of her contract with RipTide, that doesn't mean G-Major would sign her."

"You're kidding, right?"

"I'm not, in fact."

"You're delusional if you think G-Major wouldn't sign her. She's a damn good artist and they'd be lucky to have her and you know it." She took a deep breath and tilted her head to the side. "Like I said. The idea of Angie being around is one you're going to have to get used to."

"Okay. Johnny I can understand. Of course she'd be around him. But what's this got to do with you?"

"Well for one, if Johnny were to move back, we'd be spending every day together, which would more than likely include Angie. And besides that, I like Angie."

"Oh no. No. No. No, no, no, and no! Don't go there, Jude."

"I'm not going anywhere. I haven't known her very long obviously, but from the couple times I have talked to her, we've gotten along great," she said as she bent down to get her shoes on. "I'm not expecting you to be best buds with her, I'm not that stupid. There's a lot of bad blood between you two and that kind of past takes a long time to heal. But she's going to be around and I would appreciate it if you didn't look at her as though she were something below scum."

He sighed. "Where are you going?"

"Shopping," she said as she grabbed her purse.

"Now?!"

"Well we're leaving in a few days and there's a bunch more I want to do here. So yeah. Now."

"Well can I come with you?"

Her lips twitched. "You could. But I don't think you'll want to."

"Why? Of course I would. You'd be there, so why wouldn't I want to be? Who are you going with?" he asked warily.

"Angie."

His face blanched and she laughed as she walked out of the apartment.

* * *

Tommy angrily threw the dart and grew even madder when it hit nowhere near his target. He heard Johnny snickering at his bad aim and scowled at him.

"Shut up," he snapped.

"Sorry," Johnny said in surrender. "It's just that's your third throw and you've just been getting worse."

"Oh and I suppose you can do better?"

"As a matter of fact…" he trailed off and threw one of his darts.

Tommy scowled when it hit very close to the bull's-eye. He grit his teeth when the second dart hit in the same general area.

"I swear to God, if your next dart hits that target, I'm going to murder you, man."

Johnny simply smirked as he got ready to throw again. Tommy groaned into his hands after it hit the center of the dartboard.

"God hates me today," he mumbled.

"Should I prepare a burial plot?" Johnny asked, still smirking. "Or maybe I'll just clear the board so we can start over."

"Nah," Tommy said with a shrug. "Darts are stupid anyway."

Johnny laughed as they walked over to their table. "Whatever. You're just a sore loser."

Tommy didn't argue with that. A gracious loser, he was not. He was an even less gracious winner.

He took a sip of his beer while they were waiting on their waitress to come get their orders. After Jude's announcement that she was going to go shopping with his ex, he reneged his offer to go with her and called Johnny instead. He'd agreed to lunch and suggested a low-key sports bar, which was how they wound up playing darts early in the afternoon.

"So do you want to tell me what's on your mind? I've heard you're usually a dart god," Johnny said after he took a drink out of his own mug.

"Our girlfriends are out shopping together," he said dully.

Johnny winced. "Sorry man. But you know Jude…"

"Yeah and what makes it even worse is that I know Angie. If those two pair up together, I'm toast," he whined.

"Come on. It won't be that bad, will it?"

Tommy tossed him his best 'are-you-insane' look, which earned a sigh from Johnny. Honestly he couldn't believe the question was asked in the first place. The sheer stupidity of it took Tommy by surprise.

"Right," Johnny said. "That was a stupid question."

"You think?"

"So what are you going to do about it? Because I am going to move back to Toronto…"

Tommy smirked. "Whether I like it or not, right?"

"Damn straight," Johnny said with a nod and a smile of his own.

"Any chance I can take back my blessing of dating Angie?"

Johnny's smile faded and he scowled. "Only if you're willing to have your balls handed to you."

Tommy laughed and folded his arms in amusement. "Dude, have you forgotten who you're talking to? I've been getting into fights since I could walk. I'd like to see you try handing me my balls. That would be the most entertaining thing I've seen in a while."

"You don't think I could take you?"

"Of course I don't think that."

"Really?" he asked thoughtfully.

"I _know_ you couldn't. Really, it all boils down to fact anyway. Not a matter of opinion."

"You're a cocky son of a bitch, you know that? Why do I even hang out with you?"

"It's not cocky. It's confidence. And you hang out with me because I'm disgustingly awesome."

"Yeah. Leave out the 'awesome' and you'd have a more accurate description," he remarked with an eye roll.

"So you hang out with disgusting people?"

"No, I—are you _trying_ to be annoying? Because if you are, you should enter a contest because you'd definitely win."

Tommy laughed again and sat back in his chair. "Thanks. I really needed this."

Johnny quirked an eyebrow. "What?"

"Just… _this,_" Tommy said as he gestured around this room. "I can't remember the last time I felt this relaxed. Besides, it's not like I had anything better to do."

"Wow, you know how to schmooze," Johnny said dryly.

Tommy chuckled again and shook his head. "I'm serious. This definitely beats the alternative."

"Which is?"

"Shopping with Jude and Angie."

Now Johnny laughed and nodded eagerly in agreement. "Oh yeah. I'd say this wins hands down."

"Definitely. Plus, I think Jude was going shopping for Sadie," he said with a grimace.

Johnny mirrored it and scratched the back of his head. "I didn't know that was possible. Sadie's hard to please."

"Speaking from experience?"

Johnny shifted uncomfortably in his seat. This certainly peaked Tommy's interest. Johnny was rarely uncomfortable. And the fact that the older Harrison sister was the cause of said discomfort caused Tommy to grin.

"Oh my God. You dated her!"

"I did not!" he responded indignantly.

Tommy's grin turned into full-on laughter. "Oh man. Jude has no idea does she?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he said quickly. "Anybody that knows Sadie knows that she's high maintenance—especially when it comes to shopping."

"True. And normally I would agree with you," he said through his laughter. "But you, Johnny Summers, are a piss-poor liar. You totally did her."

Instead of protesting, Johnny groaned and let his head fall against the table. "How do you do that?"

"It's a gift," he said mirthlessly. "I just can't believe I didn't see it sooner! You two hide it well."

"Yeah well… she's moved on. I've moved on. It's in the past."

Tommy studied him thoughtfully. That didn't sound like a man who was quite over a woman he dated. He could hear unresolved tension in his voice and Tommy couldn't help but wonder just how long this man had been trying to get over Sadie Harrison.

"You weren't over her in Toronto, were you?"

"What?" Johnny asked as he lifted his head off the table.

He nodded knowingly and took another drink of his beer. "She's part of the reason you came to L.A., wasn't she? You couldn't stand seeing her with Kwest."

"Why should I tell you? You weren't exactly Mr. Honesty with me," Johnny bit out.

The furrowing of the brows and Johnny's locked jaw clued him in that he had struck a dangerous nerve. He was treading deep waters and he had to make sure he stayed afloat. "True. I wasn't. But I have a hard time trusting people. I didn't know if I could trust you then. And besides, had I told you the truth, you would have gone straight to Jude."

"So that excuses it?"

"No. No, it doesn't. But I'm paying for my mistakes with Jude."

Johnny let out a humorless laugh. "And how's that? From what I remember, she practically jumped you the minute you got here."

"I'm paying for it in other ways," he said through his teeth. "Our relationship is not all about sex."

"Sorry," he said quietly.

"Look, I'm not judging you, okay? I'm the last person in the world who has the right to judge anybody. I'm just observing. And I'm right, aren't I? You weren't over her before you left Toronto."

Johnny heaved a resigned sigh and slowly nodded. "No. I wasn't over her."

"And now?"

"Now I'm better. Now I don't feel like I'm going to puke being in the same room with her and Kwest."

Tommy hesitated, but he was curious. He had only ever heard about Kwest's and Sadie's relationship. That was all he ever knew existed. So against his better judgment, he couldn't stop the following question from coming out of his mouth.

"What exactly happened?" he asked quietly.

"She met Kwest. End of story."

"And you met Angie?" he questioned carefully.

He nodded. "I met Angie. I love her."

Tommy's eyes narrowed again. He didn't sound so sure about that. "You love her? And you're sure about that?"

"Of course I'm sure."

"You don't sound sure."

"Of for fuck's sake! Would you quit analyzing this? Sadie and I are done. There's nothing there anymore and there hasn't been for a long time. I've accepted it."

"But if the opportunity presented itself and you had another shot with her, would you take it?"

Johnny hesitated. Tommy instantly regretted asking the question because as his friend's eyes shut, he knew how much this conversation was hurting him. He clearly was not over Sadie.

"It doesn't matter. There won't be another opportunity, so what's the point of going over 'what-ifs'? I'm moving on. From Sadie and from this conversation," he said as he stood up and walked away.

As he watched Johnny walk over to the bar and order another drink, Tommy sighed. He failed to mention to Johnny that Sadie's relationship with Kwest hasn't always been sunshine and daises. Kwest had mentioned to Tommy a few times that he thought things were over. According to his best friend, the relationship had been rocky so many times that he had found himself wondering if it was worth it. Sadie had apparently started getting so distant with him that he'd thought she'd been dropping subtle hints that she wanted to end things.

But even as he sat there and mulled over this information, he somehow doubted that Johnny hearing it would do him any good. Meddling in relationships wasn't ever good and had he been born with a different personality, he would be the meddling type. As it stood, though, he wasn't.

So much to his frustration, all he could do was sit back and watch things unfold. A part of him was very glad that Jude was ignorant to all of this. If she ever found out, he didn't know if Johnny and Sadie's love lives would ever be the same.

* * *

Jude was in pain. Her stomach hurt from the laughter that was coming out of her gut. She couldn't breathe and she was clinging to Angie for support while the other girl was doing the same.

She was laughing so hard that she had tears streaming down her face.

Angie tried speaking, but all that came out was more chortling. Finally, she took a deep breath and calmed herself so she could talk. "So then he storms out of the hotel, dragging me with him and yells over his shoulder to have our stuff brought to the car."

When Jude could breathe again, she wiped the tears out off her cheeks and raised an eyebrow. "And this was all because the fuse ruined his hair dryer?"

"Well it was his favorite hair dryer, you know?" Angie replied with a smirk.

"So let me get this straight. You're the one who sold this story to the tabloids and Tommy has absolutely no idea?"

Angie grinned sheepishly. "Oh it was a harmless story, anyway. I couldn't resist. You can't buy that kind of entertainment, Jude." She chuckled and began shaking her head as she continued her story. "He had a conference meeting that same afternoon and refused to go because his hair was ruined thanks to the 'incompetence of the hotel.' He still thinks that one of the staff members sold him out," she replied with a snicker.

"And he was duped by his own wife. Now that's priceless. What else you got?"

Unrepressed mirth and mischievousness sparkled in the brunette's eyes. "Honey, I haven't even scratched the surface of the stories I could tell you."

"Lunch then?"

"You buying?" Angie smirked.

"Only if you promise to give me more stories on Tommy."

"Deal."

As they walked the promenade, Jude realized that she was having fun with Angie. She didn't want to like this girl, but there was just something about her that was drawing her in, hook, line, and sinker. Her charisma was contagious and even though Jude had some major inferiority issues, she discovered that Angie was pretty oblivious to her unique qualities that drew people in. Perhaps that's what made it so easy to like Angie—she was clueless and all around a very generous person.

Earlier in the day when they had been walking down the street, the older girl had seen a homeless man and gave him a hundred dollar bill. Jude wasn't sure who's eyes had bulged out more, the man's or her own. He'd tried to give it back to Angie, but she refused to take it. She'd claimed she would have wasted it anyway. When they walked away, Jude had noted that the man had tears pooling in his eyes.

That was another difference between them. Homeless people freaked Jude out to no end and she, while ashamed to admit it after seeing Angie give away her money, generally ignored them.

And, while they were shopping, Jude had expected Angie to go for the more sophisticated stuff, but to her surprise, she had shown Jude some amazing vintage stores. Angie had said her tastes in clothes were a bit ADD and she couldn't ever decide what style she liked best.

So after discovering that they had more in common than she cared to admit, Jude found herself relaxing a bit more around Angie. She knew it wouldn't make Tommy happy, but she was her own person, after all. So what if Tommy didn't like who she hung out with? He'd just have to get over it.

Besides, this girl was now dating Johnny and she wanted to like his girlfriend and luckily, she did.

"How 'bout over here?" Angie asked as she pointed to a booth by a window.

Jude couldn't help but note the similarities in her tastes and Tommy's, but instead of being wigged out by it, she actually found it a little comical. "That's fine," she said smiling.

When they slid into their respective seats, Angie raised a single, perfectly plucked brow. "What? What's funny?"

"Nothing. It's just that I have a feeling had I been with Tommy, he'd have picked this same spot."

Angie's cheeks flushed and she looked down at the table. "Yeah. He kind of transferred some of his habits to me. I always used to hate sitting by the window, but Tommy would pitch a fit if we had to sit anywhere else."

"Wow. You must have the patience of a saint."

She snorted and rolled her eyes. "Hardly. There were days I couldn't put up with his tantrums and sometimes I just felt like throttling him. Back then, he was the definition of a diva."

"Yet you married him," Jude teased.

Angie grew thoughtful before nodding. "I did. And you know something? I wouldn't change it, either. It was a good learning experience, actually. I could write a book on 'what-not-to-do' in a relationship."

Jude sighed and leaned back in her seat. "I could probably write one of those myself. I've had some real doozies."

Angie grimaced. "Oh. You mean with Shay?"

"Not just Shay. Though he probably tops the list of the do-no-repeat bunch."

"Well what else?"

She shrugged as they were brought their menus. "I dated my best friend for a really long time. I shouldn't have even done it to begin with, but I guess I felt… guilty."

Angie looked perplexed. "About what?" Then her eyes widened as she leaned forward and whispered, "He was involved in your accident a few years ago, wasn't he?"

"You know about that?"

A grim look crossed her features as she nodded. "It was all over the news. I thought Tommy would have been interested since he worked with you briefly, but any time your name popped up, he switched the channel. I always found it odd, but now that I know what I know, it makes sense."

Jude shifted uncomfortably in her seat. While she and Tommy had talked everything out, she still couldn't help the twinge of hurt that tugged at her when Angie brought that up. The only thing that kept her calm and at peace with everything was the fact that she had Tommy now. Everything was okay and it had worked out for the best. It didn't matter that he had ignored her for all that time. It was in the past and they were different people.

"Yeah," she said quietly before clearing her throat. "Anyway, to answer your question, yes. Jamie was one of the people in the accident."

"But why would you feel guilty enough to agree to date him if your heart wasn't in it?"

She had no idea why she was telling Angie this. How long had it taken her to spit it out to Tommy? This was something she had never been able to openly talk about with the people she cared about, so why was she telling a near stranger?

"Because his girlfriend was in the car, too," she said softly.

Angie let out a sound that resembled a gasp. Judging from the fact that her hand flew to her mouth, Jude could only guess that Angie pieced together that Kat died. Jude gave Angie a weak smile and fought back tears. She was going to get through this without crying. It was about time she tried to deal with this without turning into a mess every time it was brought up anyway.

"She was our best friend."

A hand suddenly gripped hers tightly sympathy—not pity—was radiating off of Angie's face. Suddenly, it clicked why she was being so upfront with Angie: Angie didn't know her. She wouldn't walk on eggshells around her; she wouldn't pity her.

"I'm so sorry, Jude."

"She was so tiny. And she got the full impact. Kat didn't stand a chance," she said quietly.

"That's awful. I couldn't imagine…"

"Killing your best friend?" Jude supplied dryly.

"Oh, honey no. You didn't kill her. The person that killed her was that drunk driver, not you. Understand?"

Jude nodded unenthusiastically. "I understand that I was tired that night. I understand that I had been overworking myself. I understand that I should have listened to Jamie when he tried to convince me to let him drive. I understand that had I not been driving, there could have been a different turnout. Yeah. I understand perfectly."

"Jude—"

"It's not your fault. It never has been, it never will be."

Jude froze. She turned around slowly in her booth and found Jamie Andrews standing right behind her looking angry and confused and so many other things that Jude couldn't place. The biggest thing that threw her was the fact that he was in L.A. What the hell was he doing in L.A.? He should have been back in Toronto working. Yet he was here…

And he looked… _good_. No, scratch that. He looked _amazing_. He looked… he looked happy.

"What are you—?"

"I'm sorry," he said, turning to Angie. "I don't mean to interrupt, but could you excuse us for a minute?"

Angie nodded and smiled at him. "Of course. I have a phone call I need to make, anyway. Have a seat," she said after she slid gracefully out of the booth.

Jamie nodded a thanks to her and took a seat as he shrugged off his jean jacket. "Nice girl," he noted. "Or seems to be, anyway."

"Nice girl," Jude confirmed.

"So who is she?"

"Tommy's ex-wife."

His eyebrows rose in shock. "Ex-wife? How many wives did he have?"

Jude barked out a laugh and took a sip of her drink. "Hopefully, just the two."

"So that's the second ex. Next thing you know, he'll have a kid showing up on his doorstep," he said good-naturedly. He was teasing; Jude knew this. But he didn't realize right he was. So she couldn't help the laughter that escaped her. She was actually clutching her stomach again because she was laughing so hard.

Jamie looked perplexed. "What? Do I have a booger?"

She shook her head and finally calmed herself. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh. It's just that, well… Tommy _does_ have a kid. With the girl that was just here."

Jamie let out an exasperated sigh and threw his hands in the air. "What else have I missed? Did your sister and Kwest get married and have a baby already?"

"No, Jamie. You just missed the Tommy-drama. Sadie's still an un-married woman and unless I'm wrong, it hasn't been nine months since we've seen each other last. So that's a no-go on the baby part."

"Good. Because I love weddings. She is inviting me to the wedding, right?" he asked with a hint of worry. "I mean just because I'm the ex now, doesn't mean I'm scratched off the guest list, right?"

Her eyes softened and she took a hold of his hand. "You're not 'just the ex,' Jamie. You're still my best friend. Even if I'm not yours."

His brown orbs looked so sad. It broke her heart a little. She couldn't ever recall a time where Jamie looked quite this vulnerable. "Even after what a dick I've been to you?"

"Jamie—"

"I'm so sorry. I was just… I was just so angry, I guess is the word that I need. I didn't deal with our breakup well at all. I was being a jerk and it wasn't even because you said no. Honestly, I didn't expect you to say yes."

"Then why—?"

"Did I ask? I asked because I couldn't stand the thought of losing you to Tommy again. I could feel you slipping away from me and I felt like he was taking you away."

"Jamie, you never lost me to Tommy."

He snorted and pulled his hands back. "Yes. I did. After he left, do you _know_ how long you moped? Do you know how bitchy you were to everyone?"

"I wasn't _that_ bad," Jude said defensively.

"You were totally that bad. I thought Johnny was gonna quit after the first week."

"I was that bad?"

"Jude… why do you think the three of us had that huge falling out? You pushed us away. It… it hurt Kat. A lot. It's why she and I got as close as we did. You were pushing everyone around you out the door and I don't think you even realized it."

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I – I didn't know."

"It doesn't matter now. It's in the past. Anyway, that's really not why I came over here. I think you know why I did, though."

"Jamie, I don't know what you heard, but—"

"I heard enough to know that we've been pushing this under the rug long enough. That night…"

"It was bad, I know," Jude said quietly.

But Jamie shook his head. "Not that one. I'm not talking about the night of the accident. I mean the other night."

Jude winced. She knew exactly which one he was talking about. It was the night that fueled her decision to go to Berry. It was the night her life changed. Again.

"We need to talk about that."

"No. I don't think we do. You said enough then," Jude snapped.

"I was drunk! I didn't even know half of what I was saying!"

She sighed and wanted more than anything to not have to relive that night. It was bad enough that she dreamt about it. It wasn't fair that she was being forced to remember it during waking hours.

"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be at Ace Records?" she quipped snidely.

Jamie's face contorted as he grimaced. "Okay. I deserved that. But to answer your question, no. I'm here on business and it just so happened that I chose here to eat lunch at. Funny how life works out, isn't it?"

"Hilarious."

"And don't change the subject. It's past time we discussed this."

"Jamie, please. Just leave it in the past."

"No. I can't do that. And really, I've let it go on long enough. Too long, actually." He took a deep breath and looked her straight in the eyes. His gaze was intense and unwavering and honestly made Jude slightly uncomfortable. "I was out of line. I know I've said it before, but I'm telling you now. I crossed the invisible line, Jude. When I blamed Kat's death on you, I was being this… un-Jamie like creature. It was so many kinds of wrong and I don't think that 'I'm sorry' quite covers it."

"Why are you telling me all of this now?"

"I'm telling you this now because when I heard you talking to that girl, I realized how long you've been living with what _I_ put inside your head. And that nearly killed me." He grabbed her hands and pulled her arms over the table, which caused her entire body to practically lurch forward. He brought his left hand to the back of her head and brought their foreheads together and she saw tears brimming in his eyes. "What happened to Kat was _not_ your fault. It never has been and it never will be. It was a terrible, terrible tragedy and in no way did you have anything to do with it!"

That annoying lump in her throat formed again. She realized she probably should have been angrier than she was with Jamie for saying all of this, but she wasn't. She was tired of being sad, of being mad all the time. She wanted to finally let go of it all and move on.

After staying like that for a while longer, Jamie finally pulled away and quickly wiped the stray tears that had fallen down his face.

"What I said to you that night… this doesn't excuse it, but I was drunk. I was angry and mad at the world. I was looking for someone to blame and you, unfortunately, were in the direct line of fire. You were trying to get me to quit drinking and that just made me even angrier with you. You seemed to have had your head on straight and I had been a mess. I didn't even realize what I said to you until your sister stormed over to Nana's and yelled at me. I don't think you realize how scary Sadie can be sometimes," he added with a small shudder.

Jude barked out a laugh. "I lived with her for nearly eighteen years. I think I have a pretty good idea."

"Right." He didn't smile. He looked as solemn as ever. "But then I did remember when she told me. It was like it all came rushing back to me. And I… I should have set things straight as soon as I remembered what happened, but I…"

"Jamie, it's okay," she said quietly.

She thought for a moment he believed her and was going to listen to her, but he shook his head. "No. No it isn't. I was a coward. I didn't deserve you and I'm sorry. God, I know that doesn't even begin to cover it and it's really, really lame, but I am. I'm so, so sorry. I can only hope that one day you'll be able to forgive me."

Jude was stunned. She was having a difficult time taking everything in. For the longest time, she'd just swept everything that had happened under the rug. She'd already lost one best friend and she'd been too terrified to lose Jamie, too. So she'd ignored the pain his words had caused her that night and now…

Now Jamie was telling her that it wasn't her fault. The one person in the world that she'd needed to hear it from the most was finally forgiving her and putting the past to rest. She wasn't sure that day would ever happen and here it was, staring her in the face.

"I understand," Jamie whispered. "I'll just go."

He stood up to go, nearly tripping over himself and Jude was snapped out of her stupor. Angie was walking back over towards the booth with a tentative expression on her face and she was silently asking Jude if she should leave, but Jude shook her head.

"Jamie, wait," she said as she reached out and placed a hand on his forearm. "Stay?"

He looked back and forth between Jude and Angie and shifted his weigh. "Are you sure?" he questioned skeptically.

Angie greeted him with a bright smile and nodded. "Absolutely. There's always room for one more."

"If you both don't mind…"

"We don't," they said in unison.

Jude grinned. "Sit down, Jamie. Have lunch with us."

"Okay," he said with a matching grin of his own. He slid back in the booth after Angie did and he looked genuinely happy. "So, what have you ladies been doing all day?"

"Shopping," Angie replied. "Lots of shopping."

He quirked an eyebrow and looked thoroughly amused. "You got Jude to go shopping?"

She smirked and then shrugged. "Her idea."

"No way," he said disbelievingly. "Jude Harrison suggested shopping? Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?"

"Yeah, yeah. And besides, it's not like we've _just_ been shopping. Angie's got some pretty amusing stories to tell."

"Ooh, about what?"

"Tommy," they both said together again. "She should tell you the hair dryer incident," Jude offered.

"Hair dryer incident? Do I even _want_ to know?"

"Trust me. You do."

Their waitress came over to take their orders and when she came back with their drinks, Angie launched into her story about Tommy and the hair dryer. Jamie burst out laughing by the end and even Jude, who'd already heard the story before, laughed with him.

She smiled as Angie launched into another Tommy-story at Jamie's request and for the first time in a long time, she felt at peace. Maybe, just maybe, everything really was going to be okay.


	32. Chapter 31

Here's the latest chapter!

I've updated my profile with info about my stories and such, so check it out when if you all have the chance!

There's not much to say this time around, really, except that I'm glad there's still interest in the story! I appreciate all of the feedback and I've decided to go ahead and go with my original plan for the story--but just shorten a bit in the process. The comments really helped, so thanks. And to **jacqueezy**,whose review made me giggle a little, you don't have to worry about my story being that long. God, I think I'd rather stab myself in the foot a thousand times before I ever let one of my stories get that long. That's just silly. Lol.

Anyway, here's the newest update and I hope you all enjoy it!

* * *

**Chapter 31**

When Jude got back to Johnny's apartment, she found Tommy staring off into space. He had a piece of paper in his hands and she had a pretty good idea of what it was, too. Since there was plenty of inviting space on the couch next to him, she snuggled up beside of him and placed her head on his shoulder. He seemed to automatically adjust himself so that she was now feeling the warmth of his arm around her, but he didn't really look down at her, either.

"Hey," she said quietly.

"Hey."

"Whatcha looking at?"

He showed her the paper she knew was holding and gave his hand a small squeeze. "I see. Are you going to go see him?"

That seemed to catch Tommy's interest and he finally looked at her for the first time since she walked in the door. His eyes were tormented and her heart was breaking for him. "I don't know. I mean part of me wants to, but . . ."

"But what?"

He laughed bitterly and stood up from the couch. The silence that engulfed the room as he walked over to the fireplace and away from her was almost unbearable. She didn't like it.

"Maybe it's better this way. Maybe it's better if I don't go find him."

Her eyes narrowed as she sat fully upright on the couch. "What? How could that be better? That doesn't make any sense."

"It wouldn't make sense to you. It's never _going _to make sense to you because you just don't seem to get it, do you Jude? I'm not a good person! I never have been," he stated emotionlessly. "What good would I be to him? And what about when he's older and has to deal with the fact that 'Tommy Q' is his father? It would be embarrassing for him. He's already in a good family. I should just leave well enough alone."

All of it seemed to click right then. The reason he was so mad at Angie, the reason he hadn't attempted to go after Isaac like she thought he would have.

And she was kind of pissed off.

"You know what? You're right, Tommy. He is better off."

He blinked, then his face became completely unreadable. He was shutting himself off, shutting down.

"What?"

"You heard me!" Jude took a deep breath and forced herself to look at him. "You're right. You're completely right in forgetting about Isaac. I mean that's what you do, isn't it? When things get a little complicated or get uncomfortable for you, you run away and pretend that your problems don't exist."

"Jude—"

"I am so sick of this," she stated truthfully. "The whole self-loathing thing, the 'woe-is-me' routine is just getting to be kind of played out. You have a son, Tommy. Don't you get it? It's not about you!"

"I do get it, Jude!" he shouted back. "You have no idea how much I get it! And it's not about self-loathing or whatever you called it, either. It's about reality and my reality is that I don't know the first thing about kids!"

"Then learn! God, Tommy, how many parents out there do you think knew shit about kids? They _learned_! They didn't run away—they grew up! And that's what you need to do. You need to grow up."

"Don't hold anything back," he bit out. "Tell me how you really feel."

She folded her arms and shook her head disbelievingly. "You think this is easy? I'm not telling you any of this because it's easy. I'm telling you all of this because you need a good kick in the ass." She pushed herself off the couch and went over to him and forced him to look at her. "I love you. I do. I've loved you since I was fifteen years old. But . . . Jesus, if you're going to be like this, then maybe you don't need to go see Isaac. Because I'll tell you one thing, you need to have your shit together before you even _think_ about going to see your son and that's the truth."

"That's just it. I _don't_ have my shit together. I'm completely messed up. I mean I lied to you about being married—"

Jude flinched and felt the dull stab of pain at that. She released him as though he were on fire. "Don't," she said with a warning.

"No. No, I think I should. You seem to be convinced that I'm doing this out of some self-hatred I have for myself. And maybe you're right to an extent. But I also know that I'm a bad person, which you seem to be forgetting! You have me on some pedestal for Christ's sake! You seem to think I can just rise above everything and forgive and forget but I can't," he said bitterly. "I hold grudges, I stew in bitterness and anger and I just let it grow and grow—"

"Stop," she said quietly.

"And then, you want to know what else I do? I go in for the revenge," he whispered into her ear. "I'm all about getting even."

She swallowed. It seemed that her plan for reverse psychology was backfiring. And what made all of this even worse was that she knew he was being one hundred percent truthful. She knew that he could hold a grudge, she knew that he had a short temper.

A distant memory filled her, one that she tried so hard to forget . . .

_She forced herself up and looked backwards, seeing him walking briskly towards her. As she started to run away again, he grabbed her and pulled her to his chest. "Let me go," she yelled._

_Relief filtered through every fiber of her being when she noticed Tommy walking towards them. She hadn't even seen him come out of the restaurant. There had been no signs of movement anywhere, but she was grateful, nonetheless._

_"You heard the lady. She said to let go," he said in a dangerously low voice._

_As Jude allowed herself to get a good look at him, she noted that he looked deathly serious; if she didn't know who he was, she would have been absolutely terrified of him. Hell, scratch that—she_ was _terrified of him. He looked completely unfamiliar to her as he moved quickly towards them with his fists clenched, ready to start throwing punches if need-be. He was standing under one of the streetlights and she noticed that his eyes had turned dark, almost black._

_She felt the man's grip loosening on her and she saw him leaning in to whisper in her ear. "It was nice seeing you again, Jude. We should do this again sometime," he replied as he shoved her forward, right into Tommy._

_Without missing a beat, Tommy caught her by her waist. She grabbed onto his arms and pulled herself into an upright position. As she looked up at Tommy, she quickly noted by the cold expression on his face that he was still in dangerous mode. He started to move forward, obviously making a move to go after the guy, but she stopped him. He looked down at her, trying to calm himself. "Tommy, don't. It's not worth it. Let's just go."_

_"Man, I used to wipe the floor with punks like that," he mumbled under his breath. "Are you okay?" he asked softly._

_As she continued staring at him, she was amazed at how quickly he transformed from the dangerous, scary guy, to the guy that was standing in front of her now. His eyes had softened, had almost returned back to their normal color, and the way he was looking at her caused her stomach to do odd, but not unpleasant, things ._ . .

She shivered as she remembered that look in his eyes. Sometimes it scared her to think about what he could have—or _would_ have—done to that man if she hadn't stopped him from pursuing him. The damage he could have inflicted . . .

"Do you still think I'm a good guy, Jude? Do you still think I'm good enough for Isaac—my son?"

"Yes," she replied automatically.

And it was the truth. Sure, Tommy had his moments where he was a complete asshole and she knew he could be scary, having seen it firsthand. He was also selfish and immature, she knew that too.

But she also knew that underneath it all that there was a good person. She saw it in the little things that he did. He was a hard worker—he would always put in an honest day's work in the studio, even if he had a hangover. He would do anything for friends. And that way he treated his fans pretty much eliminated the bad-boy vibe because he was seriously sweet to them. He always had time to give them an autograph. And she'd seen him at G-Major and how he interacted with the other employees. She knew that he always made sure to say hello to the people that had "mediocre" jobs.

And then there was the way he'd taken care of her when she'd first started having her nightmares again. He'd just done it without question. He just seemed to know what she'd needed.

Tommy let out a mocking laugh. "You know, I've heard the saying 'blinded by love' before, but I've never seen it up close like this. I mean after all the shit I've pulled in the past, the things I did to you . . . you're seriously going to stand there and tell me you still think I'm good person?" he asked incredulously.

She nodded determinedly. "Yes. Because no matter what you may think about yourself, you _are_ a good person. You _are_. You just can't see it."

"Jude—"

"Isaac deserves a chance to know his father. His real biological father. I'm sure whomever has him now is a great guy, but he's not you. No matter what you think, you deserve a chance to see him too. And his father isn't 'Tommy Q.' His father is Tom Quincy. There's a difference." When he didn't say anything, Jude sighed and nodded. She leaned in to kiss his cheek. "I'm going to start packing. Let me know what you decide."

* * *

She was packing when she heard a knock.

Johnny was leaning against the doorframe with a smirk. "All clear? Have the peace flags been brought out?"

She shrugged. "Who knows with Tommy? He's very frustrating."

"Yet you looove him," he said teasingly while batting his eyelashes.

"You are so weird." His smirk widened and he proceeded to let himself in and then fell on his back onto her bed. "Get off my clothes, punk. You're going to wrinkle them."

He laughed. "Since when do you care about wrinkles?"

"Really, Summers? I'm so not in the mood," she said somewhat grumpily.

His smile vanished and his face turned serious. He flopped onto his side and rested his chin in his hand. "That's not surprising. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Of course I do. You know I always talk about this kind of stuff with you. But I just don't know if I'm allowed," she stated honestly. When he raised a questioning eyebrow, she elaborated. "Okay, not so much allowed. More like I don't know if I _should_ or not."

"Ah. Well, would it help you if I told you that I heard everything so you wouldn't be breaking some relationship code?"

"You heard _all _of it?"

He nodded. "Oh yeah. I think the neighbors may have heard, too," he joked, obviously trying to lighten the mood.

Jude let out a little bark of laughter. "Well that's embarrassing. I didn't realize we were shouting. Sorry."

"Eh. No worries on my end. He's a complicated dude. You're bound to lose your temper with him."

She sighed and sank down next to him. She turned her head and looked up at him. "Am I wrong, Johnny?"

"About what?"

"Angie. Trying to get to know her."

"I'm not following. I wasn't aware you fought with him over that."

"We didn't. I just . . . I like Angie. She's so much fun to be around and yeah, what she did was undeniably wrong. She kept a man's child from him and while I definitely don't condone it, I can't help but understand _why_ she did it. Tommy's not exactly the most stable person in the world."

"No, he's not."

"But the other part of me feels like I'm betraying Tommy by becoming friends with her. Am I wrong?"

He gave Jude a small smile and she forced herself not groan in frustration. She knew those smiles and knew what they meant. "I can't tell you that, babe. Not anymore, I can't. That's for you to decide."

Then she did groan. "I hate you, Summers."

His smile turned into one of his annoying smirks. "No you don't. You love me and you know it."

She bit her lip and turned her head to gaze up at the ceiling. "I can't . . . I can't just quit being friends with Angie. I mean it's not like Tommy said anything about it and even if he did, putting restrictions on my relationships just will not work with me."

Johnny laughed. "If anything, you'd just do the opposite," he said and poked her in the side.

"Probably," she replied, smiling. "I just don't know what to do here. Why couldn't I have just hated her?"

"Because you're a big ol' softie, Jude Harrison. You may have an, 'I don't care what people think' attitude, but you do. You care more than you'll ever admit. Deep down, you wanted her to like you, too."

"Maybe . . ."

One of their comfortable silences began after that. They were just content with lying there, simply being close to each other. Sometimes, even Jude thought their relationship was weird. It just didn't seem like normal behavior for friends, but that's all they were and all they would ever be. The only time they'd ever behaved like the couple people teased them to be was when she first came to L.A. They'd crossed an invisible line and there was practically zero weirdness. She didn't know how many relationships existed out there that could handle that. It was like it never even happened and both of them were perfectly content with that. She was thankful they'd had enough sense to put the brakes on, though. She wasn't sure they could have bounced back from that one so easily.

But even that was just more of a comfort thing. Johnny had been confused and Jude had been hurting. She didn't foresee that ever happening again. Thank God. Once was embarrassing enough and she didn't relish in a repeat experience with that.

She had a feeling, though, that what Johnny and Angie were starting was something real and she couldn't be happier for him. He seemed to be so at ease around Angie and it was nice to see him with a girlfriend. She'd been worried about him before. He'd seemed so hurt and lonely sometimes.

There was a time that she'd caught him staring at Sadie and Kwest with an intense kind of longing in his eyes. She hadn't really understood it at the time, but she liked to think that she had it figured out now. Her guess was that he wanted what Sadie and Kwest had—most people did. Any girl would kill to have a guy look at them the way Kwest looked at Sadie. And any guy probably wouldn't mind to have a girl look at him the way her sister did at Kwest. They adored each other and she could only guess that Johnny wanted that kind of adoration.

All she wanted was for him to be happy and if Angie was the person for the job, then she wanted to get along with her. She didn't want unnecessary tension for silly, petty reasons. Johnny was important to her and she wanted to be a part of his life and if that meant being friends with Angie, then that was fine. It was more than fine. She actually liked hanging around Angie, so now all she had to do was try to get Tommy to move past it.

She didn't expect him to forgive and forget—that would be impossible. However much their conversation from earlier may have been uncomfortable, she knew he was telling the truth when he said he knew how to hold a grudge. And she knew it was probably true that he went in for revenge.

She just hoped that he didn't do that with Angie.

She was a good person and didn't deserve it. His past was starting to be resolved and he hoped he would just leave the issues where they belonged: in the past. It would only hurt people if he went the revenge route like he said he tended to do.

But the possibility of him getting even seemed slim. For the most part, he typically ignored Angie. And if he had to look at her, he would glare at her with such an intensity that Jude sometimes imagined he was trying to make her explode with his mind.

"Hey," he said with a nudge. "What are you thinking about, space case?"

"Lots of things."

"What kinds of things?"

"Tommy things," she admitted. She was just going to neglect to mention that Johnny had been in a good chunk of her thoughts as well.

"Ah. Tommy things. Of course."

She swallowed and turned on her side, mimicking Johnny's position. "I can only assume since you said you heard everything that you heard his rant about him being a bad person and um, the whole revenge thing."

His face tightened significantly and he gave her a curt nod. "Yes. I heard that."

"Would you happen to agree with him?"

He turned hesitant and a frustrated expression colored him. "How can I answer that? No matter what I say, it's going to be the wrong response."

Jude shook her head. "No. I want your honest opinion on this. Am I as blinded as Tommy says I am?"

"We're all blinded by the people we love, Jude. It's just a fact of life."

"That's not an answer, J."

Johnny sighed and ran a hand through his long hair. "At the risk of getting the silent treatment for a week . . . sometimes, yes. Yes, you're a little blinded."

Jude's heart sank. That wasn't the answer she wanted to hear.

"Oh," was all she said.

"It's just that . . . I sometimes worry that you forget who you're dealing with. He's got a short fuse and the stories I've heard . . . you heard him yourself. He's all about getting even, Jude."

"Do you think he's going to do that with Angie?"

"No," he replied automatically. "At first I thought it was a possibility, but he seems to be grounded with the whole situation right now. He's dealing with it the best way he can, and I don't think he's going to risk making things worse by going in for revenge. It's his style, yeah, but I think he maybe outgrew that?"

Jude was puzzled that he stated that as a question, but she nodded when she realized he wanted her opinion on that. "I thought the same thing. I just wish he would go see his son and quit punishing himself."

"You think that's what he's doing?"

"Honestly, I do. So much crap went on in his past that I can tell he doesn't think he's good enough to deserve a chance with his son. And I know that he's thinking he screwed things up so bad with Angie that maybe this is kind of like a form of punishment."

Johnny nodded. "I can see that. Was that earlier conversation the only one you've had about it?"

"Sort of. We've talked about it here and there, but it's always gotten cut short for some reason or another. I didn't realize until today just how much Tommy hates himself."

"We've all got our inner-battles that we have to deal with. Tommy just happens to have a little more than the rest of us. He's working through it, though."

"You think so?"

"Mhmm. Having you around has helped. You keep him grounded, Jude."

Jude rolled her eyes and flopped back on her back. "Sure. Whatever," she said with a small chuckle. "I just want him to be able to work through this. I'll help him as much as I can, but I can only do so much. This is pretty much all him."

"By George, I think she's got it," Johnny said in an English accent. He actually had a rather good English accent. Sometimes _too_ good. "We have a winner," he added while he tugged on a piece of her hair. "That's what you have to remember. I know you want all of us to be able to be in the same room together some day, but this is _his_ struggle. He's got to deal with it in his own time and his own way."

Jude let out a deep breath and nodded in agreement. "You're right."

"Of course," he said seriously. "Aren't I always?"

"Bite me."

* * *

"Knock, knock."

Jude looked up from her packing to find Tommy there. He had a bag of Twizzlers and was waving it like a flag. "I come in peace," he added.

"Done wallowing?" she asked as she tossed a shirt into her luggage.

"Hey, I'm trying to extend a cease fire."

"I know."

He nodded, obviously realizing it was going to take more than candy to soften her up—though the candy was a good start. He sank down into the spare chair in the room. "I'm sorry, Jude. I was . . . I was out of line earlier. I was angry and frustrated and I took it out on you. I shouldn't have."

She shook her head in agreement. "No, you shouldn't have." She sighed and relaxed her features. "But it's all right. And I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have tried to push this whole baby issue on you. It's your issue, not mine and I shouldn't have butted in."

He frowned. "That's not true. It's not just _my_ issue. It's _our_ issue. Whatever decision I make, it affects both of us. It's stupid to pretend otherwise."

"But—"

"You were trying to help me. You have nothing to apologize for. I was the ass back there, not you."

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously and she crossed her arms. "Who are you? What have you done with my boyfriend?"

"Funny, Jude."

"Okay, so if you're really Tom Quincy, then you must want something for being so . . . _mature_," she said teasingly.

He scowled and she fought back a laugh as she watched him actually start to pout. "Fine. I guess you don't want your present, then?"

Her eyebrows perked up. "Present?"

"Well, I _did _come bearing gifts in the form of sugar and junk food. But if you're just going to tease me, then—"

"The best kind of peace offerings. Thank you," she said quickly. "And you can't take it back."

"No?"

"Absolutely not. That is my candy, buddy."

"Oh really? Well that's funny. See, I thought that I was still holding it and I technically haven't given it over to you yet, so more accurately, it's _my _candy. See the sticky dilemma you're in?"

"Tommy," she whined.

"Jude," Tommy mocked. "How much is the candy worth? Do you want it?"

She scowled. "You're not playing fair. You holding the candy hostage kind of negates the peace offering."

"You pose an interesting point. But let's just say for arguments sake that _you're_ the one in need to offer new peace tidings, since you were being so nice earlier and all." Jude's scowl deepened. He was playing dirty. She really wanted that candy. "I know you want it, Jude. So what do you give me for it?"

Since she really wanted the candy . . .

She'd meant for it to be a quick, simple teasing kiss to get the bag from him. She'd planned on seducing the bag out of him. But after their lips had parted, he snuck another kiss and it became longer than she'd intended. She just couldn't seem to resist him—especially when he smelled as good as he did right then. He was wearing her favorite cologne and he knew that it made her nuts.

He stood up from the chair and spun them around, then sat down on the bed and before she knew it, she was straddling him and his back was now on the mattress. The bag of Twizzlers was long forgotten. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and pulled her closer to him and in a swift motion, she was suddenly flipped beneath him. She felt his lips trail down to her neck where he started to nip and suck on her skin. She became putty in his hands.

After he marked her neck, his lips made their way back to her own. She threaded her fingers through his hair and pulled him closer to her, trying to taste more of him. He supported himself with one hand and his other began roaming down the side of her body. When it came dangerously close to her thigh, she shivered and he smirked.

"Hmmm. Interesting," he said as he briefly pulled back.

"What?" she asked still feeling hazy. Kissing him tended to make her feel that way. Even after the hundreds of kisses they've shared since they became official. She was beginning to think that he would always have that effect on her. And she didn't mind one bit.

"I just find it intriguing that I got that very hot, very sexy kiss for a bag of candy. I can only imagine what you would have done if I'd brought you a pop tart or something fried," he said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

She rolled her eyes and hit him in the stomach. He laughed at her. "Perv. Way to ruin the moment."

After his laughter began, she shoved him off her and made a disgusted kind of noise in her throat.

"I wouldn't be laughing if I were you, mister. You could have gotten lucky just now. Instead you're about to become well acquainted with your right hand tonight."

"Sure about that?"

"Yes I am," she said with a faux sharpness.

"Bet I could change your mind," he said huskily.

"Oh yeah? Care to put your money where your mouth is Casanova?"

He grew pensive. "A bet? Interesting. What are the terms?"

She pondered this. It had to be something good—something worth warding off his sexual advances. She was already put at an unfair advantage because he seemed to know just where to touch her to make her squirm. He had his reputation for a reason . . .

And then she smirked as an idea dawned up on her. Oh this could be fun. And seeing the look on his face when he heard her idea would be worth it.

She leaned back over him and bent down to whisper in his ear.

"Winner gets a free pass," she said suggestively.

She pulled back so she could witness his reaction and she wasn't disappointed.

His eyebrows shot up. His eyeballs looked like they were going to pop out of their sockets. "As in . . . are you serious?" Jude nodded and he smirked. "Oh you've got yourself a deal, Harrison."

When she saw the look on his face, she shook her head. "Oh-ho, hold on there, Quincy. Don't start planning on what to do with your pass just yet. I'll have you know that I have amazing self-control."

He snorted. "Whatever. I've never met a girl hornier for me than you are," he said smugly.

Her jaw dropped at the forwardness and crudeness of the remark. "Excuse me?"

"It's true. I only need to come within a couple centimeters of you—I don't even have to _touch_ you—and you turn to jelly," he stated confidently. He grew thoughtful and tilted his head to the side while he studied her. She was a little peeved with him at the moment. He was acting as though she were some hormone-crazed teenager that didn't have any self-control. Pffft. Whatever. That was so not true. She really did have a cocky, arrogant excuse for a boyfriend. "You know, since I'm such a nice guy, I'll even give you a chance to back out of the bet."

She raised a questioning brow, still amazed at his ego. "You think I need to back out of a bet that _I_ came up with?"

"Mmmhmm."

She scowled and glared at him. "Why's that?"

"Well this is why," he stated smugly.

And then she was on her back, as he was suddenly hovering over her. He leaned in like he was going to kiss her, but he didn't. He was teasing her and she was cursing her body for reacting. She forced herself to not show the affect his nearness was having on her, because truthfully, it was driving her insane.

So she attempted to keep her face blank, but this seemed to just egg him on.

His hand made like it was going to start exploring her body, but he kept it poised within a hair's length of her skin. He brought his head to the sensitive part of her neck and that was when she really began to squirm.

And then he started shaking with laughter.

"See?" he stated victoriously. "You were putty in my hands and I didn't even have to touch you. I know just where to touch—or not touch—to get to you."

She glared at him for teasing her like that. That was a cruel trick he'd just pulled on her.

"Hmmm . . . I guess I can admit that much is true. But who's to say I don't know you just as equally?"

Tommy smirked. "I guess we'll find out tonight, won't we?"

"How 'bout right now?"

His smirk faded slightly and he became uncertain. Jude fought back her own grin at the look on his face. "What do you mean?" She didn't say anything. Instead, she began flipped them over so she was once again straddling him. It amused her to see him looking so wary of her. Well, he should be. "Jude . . . what are you doing?"

"Sshh. No talking," she said quietly.

She let her hands roam over his chest and then she slipped her hands underneath his shirt to allow her fingertips to dance over his abs. She smiled to herself as his eyes fluttered shut when she neared his nipples and she felt the slightest tremor go through him.

Her hands trailed back down his stomach and danced at the edge of his jeans. She pulled his shirt up so she could leave a trail of kisses where her hands had just been and when she reached just below his bellybutton, she heard him suck in a breath and fought back the urge to giggle as she saw his response in his pants. Her hands squeezed the outside of his thigh and she was pleased when she felt him wriggle beneath her.

And that's when she got leaned back up and whispered in his ear.

"Down boy."

His eyes snapped open and he glared at her. "Are you serious?" he asked after she hopped off of him. "Oh come on!"

"That was just a preview. You should know I'm very competitive, Tommy. And I want that free pass. Badly." She leaned in and gave the corner of his lips a lingering kiss. "See you tonight, babe. And you better have more restraint than what you had just now, otherwise you're going to be in for a painful night," she said with a giggle.

She heard him curse just as she shut the door.

She had dissolved into a fit of laughter when her phone rang. She laughed even harder when she saw that it was Angie and she eagerly accepted the call. "Angie, thank God you called."

She could almost see the questioning look on the other girl's face. "Hello to you, too, Jude? What's up?"

"Are you busy? I may need your help with something."

"Like what?"

When she heard the shower running through the wall, she burst out into laughter again. "What's the best way to make Tom Quincy squirm and beg for mercy?"


	33. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_One Year Later_

Things were finally back to normally after Jude and Tommy returned to Toronto. E.J. had been none to pleased with Jude for taking off like that, especially considering how close the album was to completion stage. The final stretch of mixing and producing was always the most hectic and she lectured Jude for a good hour once she got a hold of her.

Darius had been back to the studio before the mess with Angie happened to offer Tommy a chance to renew his contract. Tommy turned it down and said he wanted to stay on with G-Major and work for Georgia. And with Jude, of course. They've been working together solidly for the last two years. Plus he was resuming work on his own album.

And speaking of Tommy, Jude lost the pass. It wasn't for her lack of trying, though. But the man had a lot more experience than she ever would have imagined and he'd played all of her weakness to his advantage. Angie had pointed out later, though, that there were really no losers in a situation like that.

Johnny moved back to Toronto after his contract ran out and Angie followed shortly after. Jude had been a little skeptical at how everything was going to work out, but when Angie had shown up in the studio one day and Tommy had simply nodded at her, she had a feeling things would work themselves out eventually.

Tommy never went to go see his son. He said maybe he would one day, but now just wasn't the right time. Isaac was just too young and he didn't want to confuse him and uproot his life like that. She could still remember him saying that this was his chance to be the kind of father that his never was and it was then that she knew he was going to make a great dad some day, despite his worries.

They never heard anything else about Tony Abbot—the man from Ace Records that had shown up to Jude's party. It was a little unsettling to her that they never heard from him again, but she stopped worrying about it. It was like he just disappeared one day and Jude had a feeling that Tommy knew what was going on, but he never mentioned the name to her again.

Her nightmares stopped, too. She couldn't remember the last time she had one and she never saw the faceless man again. And she wasn't going to complain about it, either, especially now that things were starting to settle down.

During the next anniversary of their car crash, Jamie spent the entire day with Jude and didn't drink a single drop of alcohol. Instead, they spent the entire day, just the two of them, telling stories about Kat, looking through all of their old pictures. And when the day was winding down and the sun was setting, they went to Kat's grave together and just talked. It'd been therapeutic for both of them and she felt like they were both ready to truly move on from it all.

Apparently they weren't the only ones ready to move on, though. One thing that had confused the hell out of Jude was when Johnny and Sadie suddenly announced they were dating! Jude had been devastated when Sadie and Kwest called things off, but he seemed to be okay with everything. Johnny had told her that he and Sadie had dated a long time ago and the feelings just never really went away. Apparently when he'd come back to Toronto, Sadie hadn't realized how much she'd missed having him in her life until she saw him again. Of course, seeing him with another woman probably helped light a fire under Sadie's butt.

She'd been stunned at first, but she was surprisingly okay with everything. And the prospect of having Johnny as a future brother-in-law didn't exactly suck, either. The only one she was really worried about was Kwest. She'd come to care about him like a brother and she knew how much he cared about her sister. But he was evidently fine with everything, especially since Kwest and Angie seemed to be getting closer every day . . .

Now, she was currently in Studio B, trying to work out some kinks in her new batch of songs.

"Hey Big Eyes," Tommy said from the doorway. She looked up from her writing journal and smiled at him, feeling the familiar flutter that he always enticed. "What are you working on?"

She shrugged and tossed him the notebook. "Just working on editing some stuff from the last tour I went on."

He raised a brow after he tore his eyes away from one of the pages. "I thought you showed me all the stuff after you got back. You holding out on me?"

"There were just some songs that I wasn't ready to unleash yet," she admitted. "They were a little personal."

"Even too personal for me?" he asked quietly.

She smiled at his pouting eyes. "I just wanted to work on them on my own, Tommy. That's all. They were really rough around the edges and needed fixing."

He huffed and Jude resisted the urge to laugh. "I could have helped, you know. That's kind of my job."

"It is," she agreed. "That's actually kind of something I wanted to talk to you about."

Tommy groaned and his head fell in his hands. "Oh God, you're not firing me again are you? You know it never sticks and it's really just a big waste of time—"

Then she did laugh. Over the last year, she must have fired him more times than she could count on both hands. They always made up a day later. Two at the most. And making up was always the best part. "No, I'm not firing you."

He breathed an audible sigh of relief and sank back into his chair. "Good. So then what's up?"

"Well, for my next album, I was thinking maybe we could . . . share responsibilities?"

There was complete silence before he cleared his throat. "Share responsibilities? Okay, I'm not exactly sure I understand what you mean."

"Well, I wanted to do a collaborative effort for the next set of tracks. Like you, me, and Johnny."

His brows rose up to his forehead. "All three of us?"

She lifted a shoulder in response. The idea was truly appealing to her and she'd been thinking about it for a long time. Plus, she missed working with Johnny. "Yeah, why not? The three of us make a great team. We all worked on that one song together a while back and it went really well. It flew to the top of the charts, if I recall correctly. And I _may_ have let it slip to Georgia and she's absolutely in love with the idea."

He sighed, but when he looked up, he was grinning. "That's going to mean a lot more work for you, babe. You realize, that, right?"

"I'm up for it. It's not like I have school or college or anything like to worry about. I could stand the challenge."

"That means early mornings," he teased.

She scowled. "I can handle it."

"Some days it means early mornings _and_ late nights with minimal breaks."

"I know the drill, Tommy," she practically growled out.

Then he laughed and his eyes crinkled at the sides. She forced herself not to sigh out loud at the sight. She was getting irritated with him. He wasn't allowed to be cute. "You're going to hate this part of the job, babe. You won't last a month."

Then she was grinning like a Cheshire cat. Oh, this was the perfect opportunity to get her chance at that pass again. "Care to make a wager on that?"

He seemed to realize what she was thinking because he rolled his eyes, still chuckling. "Let me guess. Winner gets a free pass?"

"But of course," she said with a nod.

"Babe, you're _still_ sore about that? That happened like a year ago. Just let it go," he said, smile still in place. Well, it was more of a smirk now. Jude could only imagine he was remembering what he did with that pass and the memory caused her to blush cherry red.

"What's the matter? You chicken shit?" she goaded.

He snickered and tried covering it up with a cough. "Of course not. I'm just remembering the result of the last bet we made. You couldn't walk properly for two days."

Once more, her face flushed like a tomato. "Shut up," she mumbled. "And while your concern is touching," she said sarcastically, "it's unnecessary because I won't lose this time. I'll pull my weight just fine."

He cocked his head to the side and shrugged in a surrendering gesture. "All right. Winner gets a free pass. If that's what you want. Partner?"

He stuck out his hand and Jude grinned widely, feeling the excitement of starting a new phase of her career. She placed her small hand in his much larger one and gripped it. "Partner."

THE END!

* * *

Okay, so I know this was probably kind of like, "What? Huh? The epilogue?! What the heck?!" I realize that and I must apologize. I feel horrible, but I really wanted to wrap this story up. I just felt like it was time to end and I'm ready to say goodbye to the Instant Star fandom. You might see some more one-shots in the future from me, but I'm not sure. I think it's really just time to move on from it all.

Plus, I've ben working on original writing recently and I'm trying to really focus on that now.

I hope this epilogue brought it to a close all right. I'm really interested in hearing what you all think about it.

Now I need to go on to some other things. Final stats for TABA if anyone's interested.

**Pages: **352  
**Words: **151,351  
**Hits: **30,776  
**Favorites: **44  
**Alerts: **72  
**C2s: **1

Thank you all for sticking with me over the course of the last two years and leaving your comments and thoughts! It means more than you'll know and I really and truly appreciate it. Seriously, thank you to all of those who have alerted/favorite and to those who happen to continue to do so. And also to silent readers as well. Just everyone who's supported this in general and to everyone who liked Johnny! Lol. I've grown attached to him and am a bit sad to see him go.

If you check out my profile soonish, I will be posting a link to the banner that was created for this story back when it was first created. You'll get to see who I had in my head for Johnny and Angie.

Okay, so I think that about does it! I can't believe this is finally ended. Wow! 'Bout time, huh? lol.

Peace out, Instant Star fans! It's been a blast!


End file.
